Fun
Chasing Silence
They said the second day would be harder, and it was.
Miyoung writhed in her bed, plagued with a horrible head ache. A simple story played in her head like a movie, but each character was nameless and faceless. Each place looked the same. All the images struck a note inside her, that these were images of her life. But how completely unfamiliar they seemed.
One image kept repeating and repeating, but she still couldn't see it clearly. It was an image of someone's face, so blurred and distorted in her mind she couldn't make out who. Yet it was more familiar than the other faces that flashed across her mind, there was something warm about it. Something that made her want to reach out and touch it, to blow away the veil that surrounded it. So she chose to focus on it. But it seemed each time she tried to clear the dust, more blew over. The harder she tried to drag the image out of her mind, the farther she got from doing so.
The walls that surrounded her felt like prison bars, and each time she looked at them they seemed to come closer and closer. She shut her eyes, but they still seemed to close in with alarming speed. She threw back the covers and bounded out of bed, nearly collapsing on top of her shaky legs. Yet despite all the healing cuts and bruises she knew covered them, her legs were surprisingly fully functional.
She tugged the door open and it slid back into its holder, revealing the quiet hospital hallway. A surprised old man walked by her door and bowed with a polite smile.
"I'm sorry," she apologized for surprising him and slipped into the hallway, silently shutting the door behind her. She peeked over her shoulder at the door and wondered why it was so easy to open. The way the hospital staff hovered over her she was surprised they didn't lock it. She instantly scolded herself for thinking such ridiculous things.
Miyoung set a hand on her stomach which rumbled uncomfortably. She felt a twinge in her bladder. Slowly, with a hand on the wall to keep her stable, she began to move down the endless hallway.
"Bathroom, bathroom..." She stared at the labels and directions that didn't make sense. More shapes and lines that had no meaning. She stopped and ruffled her hair in frustration, "AISH! What does that mean?"
Something tapped her back. Just a light twitch, barely anything, but she turned around. A small piece of crumpled up paper rolled off her white flower patterned hospital clothes, and hit the ground with a barely audible tap. She looked for the source of the paper ball and there he was, cast and all. Baekhyun smiled shyly.
He had barely managed to escape his hospital room, wasting countless sheets of his notepad trying to convince the nurse to let him go. After a soundless argument, she gave him permission to wander around the children's ward--no where near Miyoung's hospital room. Of course, he took that as more of a suggestion.
Miyoung took serveral steps towards him, "What do you want?"
Baekhyun didn't say anything. Miyoung still had to remind herself he couldn't.
A thought crept into Miyoung's mind.
"Do you know me?"
It made sense, the way Baekhyun searched for her like the doctors said, the way he smiled at her despite the fact they were strangers.
Baekhyun shrugged, which meant absolutely nothing.
"If you do, I'm sorry, I don't remember you. I don't remember anything. I can't even read. You couldn't tell me even if you wanted to--"
Baekhyun flinched as if he'd been slapped, Miyoung instantly regretted what she had said, "I'm sorry..I didn't mean that, I--"
Baekhyun raised a hand to stop her and shook his head politely. She didn't have to feel bad, after all, it was the truth. He wouldn't lie, it hurt to be called mute, even if it was true. Not having a voice sometimes made him feel like an alien. What was it about being mute that made him less than human?
But he just shrugged, like it didn't matter. The nonchalant expression had become his most used in the days since he lost his voice. It was easier to lie when you couldn't speak.
Miyoung eyed him suspiciously and took a step closer, in turn causing slightly intimidated Baekhyun to take a step back, "You don't perhaps know where the bathroom is, do you?"
Of course he knew, how long had be been at this hospital now? He could just have easily drawn her a map of the whole place.
Instead Baekhyun just stood up and started walking. Miyoung followed obediently down every winding hallway until Baekhyun came to a sudden stop in front of two identical doors, except for one was pink, and the other was blue. Baekhyun tapped her shoulder to get her attention, he pointed at the blue door, then at himself. Then he pointed at the pink door, then at Miyoung.
"I know, " Miyoung said, "I'm not stupid!"
Baekhyun smiled playfully and shrugged. If she'd lost her memory, she might as well be considered stupid, even though he knew she was anything but.
Miyoung in a breath and pushed through the door. Another girl appeared beside her, causing Miyoung to startle and topple to the bathroom floor. Slowly, she pushed herself off the ground to see where the other girl had gone. Miyoung watched as the girl in the window appeared at the exact time as she did, following every motion she made. Miyoung stared at the window skeptically, why in the world would they put a window in a bathroom? That didn't make any sense.
Then it did.
Miyoung raised an arm and the girl in the window copied her. Miyoung sighed with relief, it wasn't a window, it was a mirror.
She had forgotten there were mirrors in bathrooms. Miyoung made her way over to the sinks to get a better look at the girl inside the glass. The girl that was herself.
The girl looking back at her was beautiful. She had pale flawless skin and round eyes. Her eyelashes were black as her long straight hair and her lips pink and soft like rose petals. Her figure was petite and breakable. The girl in the mirror was a porcelain doll in hospital clothes with a bandage around her head. "Is that me?" Miyoung asked, the girl in the glass mimicked her.
She couldn't explain how strange it was to see herself for the first time, but it was. A part of her wanted to stay and memorize every feature, but another part wanted to hurry and go to the bathroom and leave. She had to peel her eyes away from the young woman, taking steps backward until she was inside one of the stalls. From farther away she could see she was thin and short, more than she'd imagined she would be. In one swift movement, Miyoung shut her eyes and slammed the bathroom stall door.
Baekhyun was standing right outside in the hospital hallway, waiting patiently. He tried to forget where he was sometimes by looking out the windows. They were his favorite part of the hospital, big and clear and open. Here on the tenth floor he felt like he was flying. The sky stretched for miles above the city. The light formed a large square on the floor. In his memories he could imagine a cat curled up in the warm light, sleeping through the day. Across the city below he could make out each golden leafed tree preparing itself for fall.
His back was turned away from Miyoung when she left the bathroom, she crept up beside him and watched his eyes flicker over the buildings below. His lips moved in a way that wasn't quite talking, it was too melodic, too slow and careful.
He was singing.
"Baekhyun-ssi," she called, interrupting. He looked surprised at her, when did she learn his name?
Miyoung read his mind, "the doctor told me, he also said you're a troublemaker."
Baekhyun smirked. Good.
"So, Baekhyun," Miyoung crossed her arms, "what do you do for fun around here?"
Baekhyun thought for a moment. The most fun he got out of the hospital was pissing off the nurse, which he'd already done twice that day, it was getting boring playing tricks on her. Then he had an idea.
He reached forward and took Miyoung's hand, then started hobbling as fast as he could toward the elevators.
Even after they were standing still, waiting to reach their floor, Baekhyun didn't let go of Miyoung's hand. She made no effort to pull away, she'd already hurt his feelings once today.
When the door slid open on their floor, Baekhyun dragged her out and down the hallways. He stopped in front of a hospital room, and let go of Miyoung's hand to open the door.
"Silent Guy!" A little girl raised her small hand and pointed right at Baekhyun. He really wished they had come up with a better nickname for him, but he loved them nonetheless. Within seconds the little girl-- Baekhyun remembered her as Miho, was wrapped around his functioning leg like a monkey. An older girl named Yunji with short black hair in a bob stood up and smiled brightly at Baekhyun, she trotted over to greet him. Miyoung smiled as Baekhyun shook his leg and the littler girl squealed with glee. So this is your idea of fun, huh? she thought.
The other children in the ward gathered around barking questions at Baekhyun.
"Who's this lady?"
"Where did you go! We missed you!"
He held up a hand and they instantly silenced. They watched expectantly as he pulled out his notepad and scribbled something down.
I was busy with her.
"Her?" Miho whined, clutching fistfuls of Baekhyun's pant leg, "I'm prettier than her!"
Baekhyun wiggled a disapproving finger at her and the girl quieted.
The small children were no more than 5-10 years old, but by that age they could all read. Here, Baekhyun did have a voice. Miyoung understood why he liked it there.
"What's your name?" Miho looked up at Miyoung, still clinging onto Baekhyun.
"Miyoung."
"Miyoung Unnie," the girl grumbled, "You can't have Silent Oppa. He's gonna marry me," Miho unattached herself from the older boy's leg and ran away, chasing after another little girl with pigtails. Meanwhile Yunji looked up at Miyoung with pure innoncence, "What's wrong with you?"
"Huh?" Miyoung almost coughed, caught off guard by the sudden question.
"I have chronic tuberculosis," the difficult medical term rolled off the girl's tongue so easily, Miyoung cringed thinking how many times the poor child had heard it. "Dongmin has acute myeloid leukemia," Yunji pointed at a small boy sitting on a bed, with round cheeks and sparkling eyes.
Yunji turned when Baekhyun tapped her shoulder and took the notepad he handed her.
She has amnesia.
"Ohhh." Yunji nodded knowingly. She'd heard of almost every medical condition in existence after spending the majority of her 9 years of life in the hospital. "That's better than tuberculosis, I suppose," Yunji said cheerfully, like she didn't have a dangerous disease that would stay with her her entire life, which she knew she did.
"Are you going to play with us or not?" A young boy pouted with his chubby arms crossed. Baekhyun limped over and ruffled his hair with a goofy smile on his face.
"Where are Baekhyun's crutches?" A young woman appeared from the door Miyoung and Baekhyun had entered just a second ago. She had long gorgeous red hair that was on par with a shampoo model's, and eyes that were long and pointed like a fox. She didn't look like a patient, or a nurse.
"You come here a little too often, don't you think, Baekhyun-ah?" The girl's laugh was like a bell,"That or not enough. The kids missed you," A smile graced her face as she patted Yunji's head and Miyoung suddenly felt small. Just this morning she had thought her face in the mirror was beautiful, but this woman was several times prettier.
Baekhyun smiled brightly.
"Who's your friend?" The woman turned to face Miyoung now, she was tall and thin, on top of this she was wearing red heels.
"I'm Miyoung," Miyoung forced a smile on her face.
"Nice to meet you, Miyoung!" the woman held a hand out and Miyoung took it, "I'm Doctor Yoon, but you can just call me Bora."
Miyoung nodded, wondering if she was this shy before. Yet of course, she couldn't remember.
"Bora Noona!" Yunji moaned, "why can't I look like you!"
Bora smiled, something between a rose and a sunset, "You already do."
"I dont think so," Yunji pouted.
"I thought I asked where Baekhyun's crutches are?" Bora raised one eyebrow.
"I'll go get them!" Yunji darted away.
"So," Bora turned back to the two of them, mostly Baekhyun, "what brings you here?"
She asked what I do for fun.
"Oh did she?" Bora looked from Baekhyun to Miyoung knowingly, though Miyoung wasn't sure what she knew. It's not like she and Baekhyun had a relationship. Once again Miyoung cursed her memory for not allowing her to know what Baekhyun had written on the note. She really needed to learn how to read.
"Got 'em!" Yunji came running in carrying two large metal bracers, and gave them to Baekhyun, who smiled gratefully and tucked them under his armpits. Miyoung saw instant relief pour onto his face at the comfort of the crutches, not having to lean on his cast. Baekhyun hoped his leg would hurry up and get better so he could come back and carry Yunji around on his shoulders.
"Well you two have fun then," Bora smiled, "I have an appointment in ten. See you!" She waved her long elegant fingers lightly and floated past them, her heels barely even clicked.
Miyoung suddenly noticed Baekhyun's crutches were adorned with pororo stickers, rhinestones, and streamers. Even princess stickers ran up and down the metal bars. The children really did love him. Baekhyun hopped forward on his crutches, going until he reached a small children's table set up on top of a mat in the center of the room. He pointed down and Yunji nodded. The small girl took his crutches for him and carefully set them down, then held his arm and slowly sat down, Baekhyun off-balancely following behind her. He took his seat and stretched his casted leg underneath the table. He tugged the notepad out from his pocket and tossed the thing on the table, then took to it with his pencil.
Yunji waited patiently, looking over his shoulder to read the note.
Miyoung walked over and sat herself cross-legged on the other side of the tiny table.
Yunji-ah, can you teach this noona how to read?
Yunji thought hard, she'd never been responsible for something like that. Sure she watched over the little ones when Bora noona wasn't around, but she wasn't sure if she could teach someone to read. Baekhyun could see her faltering, and wrapped his arm over her shoulders, squeezing her arm lightly with his hand. He knew if anyone could do it, Yunji could.
"Okay," Yunji nodded, she had come to a firm resolution, "it might take a while, but I'll do it."
Baekhyun smiled brightly, leaned in, and planted a joyful kiss on her cheek. Yunji shoved him off giggling, "Stop it! That's gross!"
Baekhyun ignored her protests and kissed her again. He looked up when Miyoung suddenly burst into laughter. The older girl held her pale fingers to her lips and giggled uncontrollably.
Baekhyun wished he could say 'what? is there something on my face?', but Yunji did it for him.
"What's so funny?"
Miyoung wiped her tearing eyes, "It's just," she giggled again, "that's so sweet. You're like siblings."
Yunji smiled proudly, while Baekhyun turned a shade of bright red. He quickly looked down to hide his burning cheeks. Miyoung was too pretty. Her eyes were crescent moons when she smiled, her lips were candy. The small girl looked like something out of a storybook when she laughed.
"Come over here!" Yunji stood up, her long thin limbs from her last growth spurt still looked awkward attached to her child body. She took Miyoung's pale hand in her tan one and pulled her over to Baekhyun's side of the table, where Baekhyun was still recovering from his redness.
Yunji reached her long arm behind them and pulled a book off a nearby bookshelf, then dropped it on the table.
"We'll start with this one. I like this one."
"What are we doing?" Miyoung asked, dumfounded.
"I'm teaching you how to read," Yunji was about to add 'per Baekhyuns request', but shut up when she saw him lightly shake his head.
Miyoung blinked once and centered her full attention on the book.
This wasn't going to be an easy process.
"Ah!" Miyoung screamed in pain and clutched her head. Her headache was back. She'd almost forgotten about it. So much for that.
The face from earlier formed in her mind again, it was right there...right there...right there.
Miyoung opened her eyes. Baekhyun's eyes were wide with worry, something was familiar about that expression. She closed her eyes again, overcome by the pain. The face was growing clearer, the eyes mimicked the person before her.
Miyoung opened her eyes. Her blood ran cold.
The image in her mind and the boy in front of her, they were the same.
In one sudden moment the dust on the image disappeared, and it rang in her mind clear as day.
A boy with wide frantic eyes and blood running down the side of his face from where it matted in his hair, a long bloody cut ran across the right side of his face.
Miyoung blinked and opened her eyes wide. The boy shook her gently, not able to call her name.
Then she realized.
Baekhyun had a scar on his right cheek.
Comments