Jongin’s POV

She looked so small and fragile squatted there, next to the wall of my living room that I felt like I was the bad guy of the whole story. I took my time with the talking while my eyes never left her petite stature. I wanted to protect her from what I was about to tell her, I prayed to find the needed power to let her go once more, but I was drained, tired and too damn hurt myself to care of her wounds.

Everything about Seon Yul was contradicting: her stature was making her seem frail and easy to be broken when in fact her character was stronger than anyone else’s, her hands which were covering her ears in a futile attempt to shut away the truth were not covering her eyes, eyes which demanded knowledge, her cold act towards me was a mere wall of protection when in fact she desired me just like I was longing and craving for her warmth.

“I know you know me, Go Seon Yul,” I started, clearing my throat and trying to stay calm in front of her weak defense, “that’s what I was going to tell you when you got out of the hospital. But my courage puddled on the ground when I saw you smiling to that bastard, your arm around Chaelin’s waist. And when you passed right by me and didn’t spare me a look, I knew, I knew I was doomed to forgetfulness.”

“Please, please… don’t,” she begged me weakly, pressing her palms strongly against her ears.

“That day,” I gulped my sorrow away, “that day you went away like a dream. I thought I was going to turn mad. And I followed you around like a shadow, trying to figure out what did I do to deserve such a punishment. He was always around you and you were always smiling… You left me to get the groceries done, biking away in the sunlight on your blue bicycle. You left all smiles and promised  to return in an hour or two. But that hour turned into a day and the day into a week, until I finally found out that you had been in an accident and were already getting discharged. Me,” I fisted my chest, “the one who loved you more than anything in this entire world, the one who found strength in you, the one who promised to protect you, I found out about your accident after a whole week! A week in which I looked for you at the morgue, a week in which I went to see about five unidentified corpses, always hoping it wasn’t you I was going to see on that cold table. And all that time you were in a private clinic, kept away from me…”

I hid my eyes behind my fists, my heart hurting as I was picking on old scars.

“It took me a whole month to get the opportunity of meeting you alone,” I continued, wishing that all that pain would just stop and that she’d finally look at me with recognition in her eyes, “and only a question coming from your mouth to drive me up the walls. I will never forget the way you looked at me that evening when I stopped you by the entrance in your dorm, asking me who I was. And then Chaelin appeared and shooed me away, only to seek me later on and tell me that during your small ac