What followed next was Chanyeol’s fist landing on Jongin’s face and Siwon’s struggle to keep the two apart. I felt so little and useless all of a sudden, that I could only watch the two boys fight on my brother’s lawn.

“I won’t sit quietly this time,” Jongin spit a mouthful of blood and attacked my boyfriend, taking advantage of the fact that Siwon had had him trapped with his arms, in an attempt to temper Chanyeol’s rage. “I won’t lose this time!” I heard him yell, as he fell over Chanyeol, continuously hitting him. “I… won’t… lose… to you!”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Chanyeol smirked and rolled over Jongin, fists leaving bloody stains on the other’s flesh.

“Stop! Please, Chanyeol!” I covered my mouth instantly, taken aback by my own interference. “I… I… please stop fighting,” I rushed to his side and placed my hand over his raised fist. “Siwon,”  begged my brother to step in and help Jongin up.

“Seon Yul,” Chanyeol tried to stop me when I got up from his side and started walking behind my brother, “you take another step and it’s all over between us.” The warning should have stopped me. It should have made me aware of the eyes watching us, of the girls that had already started talking. It should have. But it didn’t. “I mean it!” He yelled when I resumed my walking. “We’re through!”

“Goodbye, Park Chanyeol,” I whispered to myself before closing the glass door behind myself.

Why was I such an idiot? Why was I so bipolar? Why couldn’t I see that I was walking away from the sole person that brought only joy into my life?

“I don’t need a doctor,” Jongin shook off Siwon’s hand that was trying to stop the bleeding cut on his cheek with a wet towel. “It hurts, stop!” He hissed, when Siwon pressed the ice pack against his now turning black eye.

“You should listen to him,” I spoke, playing with the bloody wet towel Siwon had left directly on his kitchen table.

“Why did you interfere? It was my fight!” Jongin tried to frown but could only hiss at the gesture.

“Because I didn’t want any of you to get in trouble, that’s why. Now stand still,” I took him by surprise with the disinfectant. “Why did you do it?” I whispered, not making eye contact.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Not listen to your boyfriend? Watch it, it hurts!” He hissed. “Breaking up with him.”

I shrugged. “He cheated on me. So?”

“Because I wanted to do so,” he looked the other way, no longer piercing me with his intense stare.

“You shouldn’t have,” I pressed the bandage hard against his cut. “Now there’s nothing left for me. You ruined everything! Everything!”

“Not everything,” his voice softened as his fingers caressed my cheekbone. “You still have me… friend.”

And I gave in to a moment of insanity. I allowed him to tend my wounded soul for a second and ti