It’s not such a nice day today. The sky’s an unpleasant shade of gray. There are dark clouds in the sky. I hope it doesn’t rain. Here comes a customer... I really need some extra money. I wash my hands, ready to serve them when I recognize the face. It’s him again, but there’s something different about him today. There’s the bounce missing in his step, the smile missing from his eyes, and the happiness missing from his aura. Something’s definitely not right. 

“Can I have 2 buckets of chicken please.” His voice is different too. Worn out, quieter. The energy I felt radiating from it the last two days was missing. He puts exactly $15.73 on the counter. He has a good memory. I prepare him three buckets instead of two hoping that it would bring the spirit back to him. Chicken always helped, right? I bring the three buckets to him. Sitting at my bench again. Strange guy. 

“I only ordered two buckets.”

“I made you three hoping that it would cheer you up.” I sit down next to him and watch him start a bucket slowly. He only eats one leg, then puts down the bucket and stares at it. 

“My little sister is in the hospital... sh-she tried killing herself...” he says slowly... his eyes are focused on his lap, glistening. His chest rises and falls slowly under his V-neck shirt. Why is he telling me this. I barely know him. Of course I feel sorry for him... but this isn’t the kind of thing you tell strangers. I contemplate how to reply, but he continues. 

“Cutting was her method of choice. It was out of sheer chance that my dad walked in on her only a few minutes after she started bleeding. He carried her right to the hospital in his arms. It’s why I had to leave so abruptly yesterday.. Sh-she’s 11... I’m so worried. ” I watch as a single tear rolls off his face and into his lap. I suddenly feel a large quantities of sympathy for him and his family. I consider ways to console him, but he talks again. 

“She has huge scars running down her wrists and arms now. I don’t know where she learned that it was faster to cut along the artery... I feel guilty that... I-I wasn’t there when she needed me. I stayed up all night wondering how long she planned this. How long she’s been suicidal without me knowing.” 

A single tear rolls down his face. I recognize what he’s doing. But why. He’s letting me into his life, it’s a sign of a trust. He want’s to know more about me too. But why me. What does he see in me? How does he know I can be trusted? How do I know if I can trust him? Is he worth the risk? Is he safe? I decide to test him with a bit of my shameful past.

“I was never a good kid. I felt that I could always do better alone, that I didn’t need anyone. I treated my parents badly. I wanted to think for myself. When I went to college and they didn’t call, I didn’t really take any notice. I was always too busy with my stuff.” He nods slowly. I take a deep breath and continue. “When I finally came home from college, I walked up my front steps right there. But when I opened the door the apartment was completely empty. I still have no idea where my parents are. I live alone now, and I have no other income apart from this chicken stand.” I watch as  another tear rolls from his face into his lap.  

“I understand”, he says weakly “I was so busy having fun at my job I forgot about my family. My sister must have felt like she wasn’t good enough.  My mother must have been so lonely. She’s widowed now.” 

We just sit there and think for some time. Him munching slowly on more chicken. It’s a while before he finishes off the bucket then stands up. 

“Thank you for this extra chicken, now I owe you double.”

I shake my head, saying there’s no need. He smiles weakly then turns and walks away feebly. A bucket of chicken in each hand, hugged to his chest. 

 

 

[ Lee Jinki’s POV ] 

 

The chicken’s still warm, I can feel the heat rising up to my face. Hugging both buckets, I walk towards the hospital. I walk slowly, thinking. I see her face in my mind, her bringing me three buckets instead of two saying that it hoped it would cheer me up. I was the one that was supposed to cheer her up... was my grief that obvious today? But her explanation about how her parents were missing... was this the reason she always looked down when I was about to order? I arrive at the hospital and walk through the doors. The hospital smell reaches my nose. I absolutely despise this smell. I traipse to the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. When then do, I step in. As the elevator ascends to the fourth floor, my stomach descends. I’m extremely nauseous now. I step out dizzily and stagger towards the room. I push it open slowly, afraid of what I’m going to see. She’s asleep. Lying there with both arms positioned next to her, bandaged heavily. I see an IV next to her, replacing the blood she lost from all the bleeding. It’s a frightening sight, it’s extremely hard so stomach the fact that she was so close to death. I am forever grateful that she was saved. I set down one of the buckets next to her then pull a chair next to the bed. She likes chicken too. It’ll be a surprise for her, kind of like flowers, except better. I chuckle a little to myself at the thought of chicken blooming from flower stems. I watch her chest rise and fall slowly. I watch her eyelids flutter as she sleeps. I watch her hand twitch. My sister is so beautiful. Why did she do this to herself. I watch her for a few more minutes and leave the room quietly, now hugging only one bucket of chicken in both arms. Time to feed my little shining members. It’s really funny now, imagining baby Taemin, Jonghyun, Key and Minho shaking chicken legs like rattlers. 

 

~~

 

I step into our dorm. Minho probably heard the door close because he comes and greets me, hands in his pockets, sullen faced. 

“We heard about your sister. I’m so sorry...” I nod then walk into the living room. The other members are waiting for me there. Jonghyun and Key on the love seat, Taemin sitting criss-crossed on the floor. They all look pretty gloomy. I set down the bucket of chicken, now cold. Key reaches it first. No surprise. He gets one for Jonghyun too. Cute move. Taemin reaches for the bucket meekly. 

“Mmm! It’s still good, even though it cooled down. Where do you get this chicken from?” he asks, mouth full. 

“The pretty girl with the chicken stand across from the fountain. The one that the old man opened.”

“Oh! That place! I’ve walked by there many times on my way to visit my parents!” Key exclaimed.

“Does she know who you are yet?” Minho inquired.

“No. It doesn’t seem so. But that’s good right?”

“Mmhmm...” muttered Jonghyun thoughtfully. Mouth full. Hamster cheeks. Puppy face - fully operating.