*Kibum POV*

After what I saw, after the pain that almost took my breath away, I should have left. I should have run away from this hell that keeps me as a prisoner. I should have just left then come back tomorrow and pretend that I didn’t see what I just saw tonight. I should just act just like what I did in the past whenever I saw Jonghyun cheating on me face to face.

But I can’t. I can’t move and I feel like my whole body got numb. No, numb is understatement. My body got paralyze. I lose my strength to even stand up in my feet, that’s why right now, here I am sitting on the floor and leaning on the wall. My tears had gone dry already and I feel like crying again but there are no more tears that are coming out.

The room was already quite. They are already done ing each other and who know what else they are still doing. Then I heard the girl’s giggle. Oh God, please. Please. Let them stop. Make her leave already. I can’t handle anymore. This is tearing me apart.

 When I got a little strength, I got up and I sat on the couch and wait for them to come out. I waited and waited and I feel like it’s been a lifetime when at last the door opens. I held my breath when I saw the girl wearing my shirt! Why is she wearing my clothes?

I saw how shocked Jonghyun is when he saw me sitting here. The girl also.

“Kibum. I didn’t know that you’ll be home tonight. I thought that you have a group study?” He asked then he walked towards the kitchen to get some water.

Is that why you brought your here because you don’t want to spend a money for a hotel? I want to ask him. I didn’t give him an answer. I looked at the girl who have a look in her face. I want to pull her hair. I want to throw her away from my apartment. I want to kick her ing outside my apartment. But no. I have to maintain my composure. I don’t want to lose it, especially in front of Jonghyun’s es. “Why is she wearing my clothes?” I asked instead.

“Oh, Jonghyun oppa ripped my clothes when we got here. And since he said that I can borrow some clothes for you, I just pulled this in your closet.” She answered. “But I am surprised to see a guy with this type of fashion.” She examined my clothes that she is wearing. “Isn’t it a bit girly?”

I clench my fist to control my anger. I have to calm myself until she leaves.

“Hey Kibum, just gonna send her home.” Jonghyun picked the girls clothes that were scattered on the floor. “I think this is garbage now.” He put it in the garbage can then he grabbed the girl’s arm. “Let’s go.” Just before they passed over me, Jonghyun leaned towards my ears. “Be right back babe.” He whispered.

When I heard the door closed, I slowly walked towards our room. I feel like I was stabbed by a thousand daggers when I opened the door and saw the bed. I looked around the room, beside the messy bed, there’s nothing change in the room. Physically.

But for me, the room is so empty. The thing that was in here for a long time was already gone. I can’t feel its presence anymore. I have already lost the thing that for a long time I thought that is mine. It’s not here anymore. Jonghyun and my memories is not here anymore. All I can see are those scenes. Those disgusting scenes.

I run towards the bed and take off the bed sheet. I grab a garbage bag in the kitchen then I put it there. Together with the pillow. But no matter what I do. Even if I throw the bed I still can’t take off the fact that Jonghyun brought a girl in our apartment.

My tears started to fall again. I drop my body in bed and cry. I didn’t know how long did I stayed in that position when I heard the door opened.

“Kibummie?” I heard Jonghyun calling me. “Are you already sleeping? Why did you take the bed sheet out? You can’t sleep like that. You’ll gonna catch cold.” I heard him opening the closet to get some bedsheet. When he was about to put it in me, I snap his hands. “Are you mad?”

I didn’t give him an answered but I did just look at him with my swollen eyes. I don’t care if he saw me in this situation. It’s not as if this is the first time that he saw me like this.

“Okay, I am so sorry, I didn’t know that you’ll be home tonight. She—”

“How many girls did you already brought here?” I cut him out.

“Wha—”

“I am asking you how many girls did you brought here in our apartment.” Oh please, tell me, answer me that she is the first girl. Even if it’s just a lie, I can accept it. I thought while waiting for his answer.

“Honestly, I don’t remember anymore. I th—”

I didn’t wait for his answer and just slap his face. It hurts. It hurts so much. I was so stupid that I didn’t realize it sooner.

“What the hell Kibum!” He stood up and he was holding his cheek.

“I should be the one asking you that. I already accepted the fact that you are meeting other girls. But why do you have to bring your affair here in our apartment. Why do you have to taint the only thing that I thought is mine? Why are you always hurting me? Why?!” I asked him while crying. I am crying because of things. I am hurt and I am mad. I feel like I am going crazy.

“What the Key. Why are you being sentimental now? I didn’t know that you have that attitude. You are talking just like a woman.” His voice return to calm one. I know Jonghyun can’t get mad in a long time.

“So what if I am talking just like a woman? I am—” He cut my words from hugging me.

“Fine, I am so sorry. Very sorry. I will not going to repeat it again.” He cupped my face. “If you are angry because of that. Then let’s change all the furniture here in our apartment. Let’s change the bed too. All of it. Is that okay?”

He tried to kiss me but I move my face away. “I am not like you Jong who’s always okay with a replacement. All I want is to keep the things that is mine. The things that I thought is mine. I already accepted that you are not one of them and I am only holding the things that reminds me, that even once, I had you for myself only.” I don’t know what I am feeling right now. This pain is so unbearable.

He takes off his hand off my face. “This kind of talk is really irritating me. Can you just stop it Kibum. I don’t get of that kind of emotional stuff. Just tell it to someone else instead.

“If you find it so bothersome then why don’t you just ditch me?!” I said then I cover my mouth when I realize that I shouldn’t have said that.

“That is exactly the kind of talk that gets on my nerves! Fine! You want to break up. Then fine. I’ll give you your freedom.”

No! No! I don’t want it. I don’t want to break up with you I can’t. I want to say it but I can’t open my mouth. This is too painful. “J-jong.”

“I will give it to then find someone who can love you wholeheartedly.” He said before he turned his back on me.

My whole body got paralyze again. I want to run after him. I want to say that I can forgive him again. I want to say that I don’t want to break up with him, that we can work it out again just like what we did in the past. But I can’t move. My body is contradicting what I am thinking.

Then I realize. Breaking up with him. Staying with him. No matter what I choose. It still will be too painful for me.

I lose all my strength that’s why I let myself fell in the floor on my knees then I let out my loudest sob. Hoping that the pain will be lessened.

*Jonghyun POV*

Key have been calling me since I left the house. It’s already been two hours now and I am here at Minho’s bar.

“Your phone is ringing.” He said then he passed me my beer.

“I know. I can hear it.” I answered.

He peeked in my phone to see who is calling me. “It’s Key.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you ignoring it?”

“We broke up.”

He chuckled. “That’s the tenth time I heard that this year.”

“Shut up. This time it’s official.” I know that our friends are already tired of our on and off relationship. My phone rings again but then it stops in the third ring. But I still ignore it. Minho stopped talking to me because he was serving another customer.

It was already four in the morning when I decided to go home. No matter how deep our fight is, I am always going home once I cool off my head. Key knows that, maybe that’s why he stopped calling me. When I was about to get up on my chair Minho called me. “What is it Minho?”

“Hyung, I don’t know what the two of you are fighting right now. But please treat him well. Not because Key will forgive you no matter what you do, if you keep acting like that you will gonna wake up one day that he is already gone.”

“That is impossible Minho. Key will not going to leave me.”

“Hyung, in people’s lives, there is a point that they will going teach their limit. That they will decide to just give up on something that is not worth fighting for. I hope that you won’t push Key to that limit.” Minho said before he turned his back on me.

I was already on my way to our home and I was still thinking Minho’s word. Something that is not worth fighting for?

“Ah I am so sleepy.” I mumbled when I reach the apartment. It was so quiet inside. Maybe Key was sleeping already. I am hesitant if I am going inside the room or just wait for the morning to speak to him. But I think I should do it right now.

I walked directly towards the room and I saw that the light was still open. Key will not sleep with the lights on. When I opened the door, I saw Key was not in the bed. I looked around and I noticed that the room is in a complete mess. Everything is scattered on the floor.  I walked towards the closet then I feel a quick pain in my chest when I opened it.

“Kibummie.” I mumbled.

hello my lovely readers

^___^
Is this story have been so sad and rough for you?

I know, I know.

I know that this story is so sad.

I think I'm applying so much of my personal emotion and experience in this story..hehehehe

Anyway, thank you for reading this even though this is not a happy or romantic story.

I'll promise I will worked hard for the next chapters.

Thank you again..

Please give me your lovely comments about your feelings..

Bye...Bye...

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