Key has been staring at the plane ticket at the top of his dining table. He received it in the morning and until now he still can’t believe that he really is going to Milan, Italy. When he received his confirmation, sure he is happy, but there was still a part of him that have a doubt of this is really happening to him. But right now that his ticket is already in front of him, he can now rest assured that everything is really true. He was scheduled to fly next month so more or less, he only has three weeks to pack his thing and leave Korea.

He sighed as he picked up the piece of paper that will help him to ride the plane. He smiled widely as he kissed the ticket.

“Three more weeks and I am out of here.” He mumbled.

He stood up as he walked towards his room to get his phone. He dialed Nicole’s number. He sat on his bed while waiting for the other to answer. After four rings, the girl picked up her phone.

“Hello?” She asked loudly that Key has to take his phone away to his ear.

“Yah! Why are you so loud?” He answered shouting.

“Oh Key. Sorry.” She laughed, he heard a clattering of metals and he was sure that the girl was cooking something. Maybe for her boyfriend. “So, what made you call?” She asked.

“Oh well, I just have a good news but I think you are so busy to listen to this.” He smirked. No matter how much he wanted to share what the good news to his friend, he can’t afford to talk when someone is not that hundred percent listening to him. He heard the other sigh.

“Okay, okay. There I am doing anything anymore. Can you tell it to me now?”

Key lay in his bed. He lifted up his one hand that was still holding the plane ticket. “Nicole.”

“Yes?”

He didn’t answer to make it more suspense. “Nicole.” He said again but this time with so much excitement in his voice.

“The hell Key! What is it what is the good news? Can you please stop the suspense?” She said shouting at the other line.

After taking a long deep breath he answered his friend. “I already got my plane ticket.” He said slowly so that Nicole can hear it clearly.

The other took time before answering. “R-really? As in, the plane ticket to Milan?” She asked excitedly.

Key chuckled. “Yup. And I am leaving in three weeks from now.” He added.

Nicole squealed at the other line which makes Key laughed so hard. He was so happy that he has a friend to share this happy moment of his life. Though deep inside, he was still hoping that he can share this happiness with that certain person.

He shook his head to drive away any unnecessary thoughts that were lingering in his mind. “So what do you think?”

“What do I think?” Nicole asked back with a high-pitched voice. “I think we need a celebration. Yes. Yes. We really need to celebrate that. Don’t worry, Jinwoon and I will going to organize that. Oh my God Key! Congratulation. This is a very good opportunity for you. I am so so happy for you. At last, something good happened to you.” She said jokingly.

“What do you mean by that? You’re talking as if I am a very unfortunate creature.”

“Why? Are you not?” She laughed then she continued her cooking again. “But honestly Key, I am so happy for you.” She added immediately to avoid any awkward topic. This is not the right time to talk to something about Key’s misfortune in the past.

“Thank you Nicole. And the celebration must be beautiful okay?”

Nicole laughed at the other line. “Okay. Just trust me.”

Jonghyun entered Minho’s bar with a curious face. The other called him this morning, inviting him to come in his bar because he said that there will be a celebration and he said that it was Nicole who organize it.

The bar was close because he was so sure that the group reserved it for themselves. How nice to have a friend like Minho who can stop his business just to have a good venue for every party. When he got inside, he saw that there was a big banner saying: CONGRATULATION KEY! HOPE FOR YOUR SUCCESS!

“So the party is for him.” He mumbled. He raised one of his eyebrows as he looked around. Most of the members of the group were already there, or should he say that all of them were already there except for Key. He took a deep breath as he walked towards Minho who was preparing the drinks.

“Hey hyung. You made it.” The taller said.

He just smiled. Honestly speaking he was nervous. This will be the first time he will seeing Key since the day he admitted to himself and to Minho that he love him. He was nervous because he doesn’t have an idea how is he going to react once he saw him. It was sure hard to act normal once you saw the person you like. He sounded like a school girl who was about to meet her life time crush.

He doesn’t have any idea how is he going to confess his feeling to Key because of reasons he have. First, the other already have a boyfriend. Isn’t it too bad to confess to someone who was already belonged to someone else? Secondly, He doesn’t have any idea how to say it to Key without him looking like an idiot. Third he can’t do it because Key might think that he was just joking around and the other might slap him. Lastly, he was not sure if confessing his love for him can make Key happy or maybe it might give him pain again.

Those thoughts were blocking Jonghyun’s determination to confess. Maybe he will just confess once he figures out all the solution to his problems. Besides, he still have time right? Hopefully.

He still was in his deep thought when Key entered the bar with a big smile on his face. He was looking directly to his friends that why he didn’t notice Jonghyun at the corner.

“Here’s our scholar!” Nicole welcomed the other with a big hug that she almost threw her body to her friend which makes the other laughed.

“Thank you!” Key answered while hugging his friend. “Wow. The decoration is so.....” He paused for a second to looked the around area. “…childish.” He added with a big grin in his face.

“Yah! How can you say that? Do you have any idea how much time we spent there?” Nicoled asked pouting.

“Okay okay. I appreciate it.” He smiled at the other.

“So what really is this celebration for?” Jonghyun interrupted.

Key turned his head at the man who was walking towards them. He didn’t notice him when he came.

“Didn’t you know hyung?” Dongwoon asked while giving some drinks. “Key had been accepted as a scholar in Milan.” He added then he seated beside Nana.

Jonghyun felt like there was a bomb that just exploded in front of him. His heart was rapidly beating and his chest was starting to tighten. He turned to face Key who was looking at him as well. He doesn’t have an expression, he was just standing there and looking was just looking at him.

He doesn’t have any idea how long he stared at Key when Minho nudge him. He cleared his throat. “W-wow. That’s a g-good news. Congrats Kibum.” He said and wanted to kick himself for stuttering.

From being expressionless, Key smiled at him which almost took his breath away. That was the same smile he have when they are still together. “Thank you Hyung. I am glad you have time to be here.”

“If they told me ahead of time that this is all about, I am sure didn’t came.” He thought. “Of course.” He just said.

The party continued minus Jonghyun who was just staying in the corner and was just staring at Key. He was sitting beside his boyfriend who was sure happy about his success. He was drinking alone when Minho walked towards him.

“Hyung, why don’t you join?” He asked while getting some more drinks at the rack.

“I’d rather stay here.” He answered then he drunk his beer in one shot.

“Are you not going to talk to him? You have something to say right?”

“What for. He is leaving anyway.”

Minho didn’t say anything anymore. He just patted the other’s shoulder as a sign of comfort.

The night fell deeper and some of them was already drunk. Key who was starting to fall asleep decided to have some fresh air. He walked at the back of the bar where there was a small balcony where the staff can have their time to smoke. When he opened the door, he saw Jonghyun leaning on the wall and having a smoke. He was surprised to see the other smoking. He didn’t see him smoke when they are together. Oh well, what he really knew about the real Jonghyun.

“I didn’t know that you smoke.” He asked as he leaned his back on the wall a meter away from the other.

“Yup, Just when I am just..hmmm…stress.” The elder answered. He threw the cigarette on the ground  and stepped on it.

“Why did you throw it away? It was not even half finished?” He asked while looking at the cigarette that was now lifeless on the ground.

“You hated the smell of cigarette.” Jonghyun sighed. He looked up to the sky where there’s no star. “Congratulations Kibum.” He said while still looking at the dark sky.

Key looked at the other’s face and notice that the elder loss a lot of weight. He wonders what makes the other stress. Maybe his work and he’s just previous interview. “Thank you hyung. Honestly I wanted to thank you.” He said, then just like the other, he looked up at the dark sky too. “You have a big part of this success.”

“Why thank me?”

“It was you who encourage me to apply for that scholarship. If it’s not you I wouldn’t dare to apply for that.” He answered smiling. No matter how much did Jonghyun hurt him, he was still grateful that the other help him to achieve this success.

“That was nothing. Besides, I didn’t push you to do that. At the end it was still your decision that matters. It was you who studied you out in those exams. It was you who answered all the question and interviews.” He remembered the times Kibum almost kick him out because he said that he can’t study while he was there who was just seducing him. The times that when he have to cook them breakfast because Kibum have to sleep in the morning because he study all night. When he has to at least be useful for him while the other was studying for that scholarship. He even made a plan once Kibum succeed in that scholarship. But those plans will never gonna happen anymore.

Key chuckled. “I knew you will gonna say that.” He said then he put his head down. “But nevertheless. I still wanted to thank you.”

A very awkward silence dropped between them. Neither of them wanted to talk because they are not sure if there were things that have to be talked about.

“Kibum, I am happy for you. You are now going to achieve your dream.” The elder said while playing the tip of his shoes.

“Yes I am. Once I get there, I am going to have a new life. New beginning. Though it will be hard for me because I am alone, but I know that I can overcome it.”

“I know you are. You are a very strong person. I know that you can do it. And you are not alone. At least you have Mir here. You too can speak with each other with those social thingie.” He said turning his head at the other.

Kibum meet his eyes then he smiled. “Thank you.” He said ignoring the last part of Jonghyun’s sentence.

Jonghyun felt that he was drowning at the other’s eyes and unconsciously, he lifted his back from the wall and made his way to Kibum. When he was just 5 cm away, he saw the confusion on the other’s face. He sighed then he smiled bitterly. “I guess it was too late.” He mumbled which made the other raise his eyebrow.

Yes, it was already late for him to confess. He thought that it was better not to confess his feeling. He was afraid that his feeling might distract Kibum and he was afraid that it might burden the other. His feeling is much better to be left untold. He can’t be selfish and just think about himself. Kibum is now starting to have a new life, confessing his feeling means he has to drag Kibum back again to the grave he was been before. It is better if his feelings should remain hidden and he should just be happy for the other.

He took another deep breath before pulling Kibum in his arms. For the last time, he wanted to feel Kibum in his arms. “Kibum-ah. I wish for your success. You have to be a very famous fashion designer okay? Then next time we meet again, you have to make me a suit.” He said trying his hard not to stutter. His throat was so dry and no matter how many times he swallowed, the lump that was in his throat is not going away. He felt like crying. So this is the pain that they are saying once you lose the one you love. The pain that can’t compare to any kind of wound.

He tightened his hug while blinking away the tears. He can’t cry now. It will just make Key more confuse. When Key hasn’t said anything and just stayed there in his arms, he decided to better break the hug when he felt that his tears was now starting to fall.

After pulling off the hug, he immediately turned his back on the other because he was so damn sure that Kibum will going to notice that he was crying. “Well, I think that’s all I can say.” He said with his back facing the other. He wanted to give himself a round of applause because he didn’t sound like crying. Or that was he thought “Good luck and have a good life.” “Because for me, I am not sure if I am gonna have that” He added in his mind. He started to walk away and didn’t bother to look at Key for the last time.

Key has been staring at Jonghyun’s back as he started to walk away then he hugged himself. “If you’re going to wish me good luck and happy life, shouldn’t you have to be happy about it? But why?” He paused a second when Jonghyun disappeared in his sight when the other turned at the small alley. “Why are crying?” He asked himself because he saw that little tear that fell when Jonghyun pull off from the hug.