It was already two in the morning when Key’s party finished. They are currently organizing the mess at the bar when Minho’s phone ring. When Minho answered his phone he unconsciously turned at Key’s direction who is looking at him too. He sighed before he turned around to talk to the person on the other line.

“Yes hyung. Sure I am coming. Just give me 15 minutes.” He said before he hanged up.

“Who was that Minho?” Nicole asked when she saw the other’s concern looked.

“No one.” He answered because Jonghyun told him not to tell to anyone that he called him.

“What do you mean no one? You look so worried.” The girl added while she’s placing the plates in the sink.

Minho just shrugged his shoulder before getting his back pack. “Guys you can just leave those at the sink and I will just finish that tomorrow.” He said while digging his car key in his bag.  “I have to go—oh .” He cursed when he remembered that he don’t have his car with him because his brother borrowed it.

“What?” Key asked when he heard Minho swearing.

“I don’t have my car.” He said scratching his head. “Ah whatever. There’s a lot of taxi. Do you have the number of taxi?” He asked Key who was busy cleaning the area.

“I don’t.” The other answered. “If you are in a rush, I can drive you.” He offered.

Minho was hesitant to accept the offer because it was not a good idea that Key will be coming with him. But he has to be there as soon as possible. Jonghyun sounds as if he was in great pain. “Okay then. Let’s go.” He passed the key of the bar to Nicole. “Please do me a favor Nicole. Just close the bar if you guys are leaving and just leave the key at the mailbox.”

“Okay then.” Nicole answered, putting the key in her pocket.

“Thank you.” He turned at Key who was putting his jacket on. “Let’s go Key.”

Key nodded as he followed Minho outside.

They are already on their way to Jonghyun’s place when Minho tried to call the other. But no matter how much he called the elder, there is no one who is answering the phone. “Don’t tell me he really did my suggestion last time.” He mumbled while texting.

“What is it Minho? Are you saying something?” Key asked after hearing Minho mumbled.

“Huh? Ah no. I’m just talking to myself.” He answered putting, away his phone.

“Are you going to Jonghyun’s place?” the other asked while his full attention was on the road.

“W-what made you say that?”

“I know this road. Did you forget that I once live here?”

Minho felt a sudden panic. When Key asked him where he was going, he didn’t say that he was going to meet Jonghyun. He just asked him to drop him at the convenience store near the elder’s apartment forgetting that Key once leave with Jonghyun so of course the other will know the road they are taking.

He took a deep breath before answering. “Yup. I am going in hyung’s apartment.”

Key signed as he turned his car to the short-cut that he was always taking when he was still leaving there. “Is there anything wrong with Jong?” He asked when he stopped the car in front of the apartment when he once live in.

“What made you say that?” The taller boy should just get off the car because he has a feeling that this conversation is not for him to handle. “Did he say something weird?”

The other leaned his head on the headrest looking at the apartment. “Nothing really. He just wished me good luck before he left the bar.”

So that’s why Jonghyun suddenly disappeared without saying anything. Minho thought while unbuckling his seat belt. “If he didn’t say anything to you, then I don’t have the right to answer your question Key.” He opened the door but before he got off, he turned to the other. “And if you are curious about hyung’s condition, you should better stop that. Hyung already made his decision and just gave you a good luck wish. Might as well accept that.” He said before getting off the car leaving Key with so many questions.

When he saw Minho entered the apartment, he just stayed there looking at the closed door. He wanted to leave now and just ignore what the little voice that was shouting at the very end of his brain and heart asking him to go to Jonghyun and ask him what is wrong. Why was he crying a while ago. What does Minho mean saying all those things.

He shook his head before turning his key to start the car. He can’t stay there longer because his wound might open again. He was about to the wheel but just like a normal human being, his curiosity won. He took off his seat belt then he got off the car.

When he was already at the door, he can hear a loud music inside. He turned the knob and was thankful that it was not locked. Maybe Minho was in a rush and he forgot to lock it. He got inside tiptoeing to avoid any noise. He walked towards the room that they once shared together. He saw Minho standing at the side of the bed, his back facing the door and he was looking down at Jonghyun who was lying on the bed.

He observed the place and notice that there was nothing chance. It has been the same just like when he left, well the mess is out of the question. He saw their albums that were shattered on the floor. The books that he left and thought that Jonghyun was going to donate it. Nothing was added even in the bedroom.

He saw Jonghyun curling up and he felt his heart stop beating when he saw him hugging his picture frame. Then he noticed at the side table the video cam where Jonghyun was singing in front of him. He clenched his fist when he looked at the other again who was now sobbing silently. He tried to be silent so that they will not notice him.

“Hyung.” Minho called the elder who was curled on his bed as if he was in great pain or maybe he was really in pain, not physically but emotionally.

“He is leaving Minho.” Jonghyun answered. He lay on his back while still holding Key picture. He put his free hand in his eyes to cover his tears that kept on falling.

Minho doesn’t have anything to say or he should say he can’t say anything because he was afraid that every word that he utter might hurt the other. This is the first time that he saw Jonghyun like this. He looks so devastated, hopeless and hurt. He turned to the video cam and pause the video that was playing. He then sat on the bed and patted the other in the shoulder.

“I decided not to confess to him Minho. I’m afraid that my feelings for him might hold his decision to pursue his dream. Besides I realized that it is better for him to stay to Mir side. At least if he’s with Mir, I know that he can have the happiness that he deserve.” The elder said who was now staring at the ceiling.

“Hyung, are you sure?”

The elder sighed as he sat up and lean his back on the headboard. “Yes Minho. This is the right thing for me, for Kibum, for us.” He said burying his face in his hands.

“But—”

“Is that your reason?” A soft but angry voice stopped Minho from talking.

“Kibum.” Jonghyun mumbled, shock in his face seeing Kibum standing at the door. He then turned his head towards Minho with a question in his eyes.

“He..he drive me hyung.” The other said. He sighed as he slowly leave the room.

“Are you ing me Kim Jonghyun?!” Key shouted right after Minho left the room and apartment. “Do you really think that I will going to give up my dream just to be with you?! And what made you think that I will be happy with another man when up until now it is you that I love? Do you really think that I can love another right after we broke up?!”

“Ki –” The elder stood up and walked towards the other and tried to calm him up but the younger snap his hands away.

“ you Jonghyun! you and your stupid reason! What did you just said? You don’t want to confess because I might not pursue my dream? And I am better to be with Mir? That was not the reason.” Kibum shook his head and now the tears are starting to fall but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if Jonghyun was seeing his tears again. He doesn’t care if he is showing this side of him again. He already reached his limit. “No, that was not the reason. The reason is that you are scared. You are scared to be rejected. You are ing scared that you might be left alone.” He again slapped the others hands who were trying to calm him. “Don’t ing touch me.” He said with now in a low voice. His throat was hurting and he feels like already lost all his strength. He was tried and exhausted.

“Kibum, I was—” Jonghyun can’t pick any word to utter that moment. It’s as if Kibum stole all the words in the world.

Kibum sniffed and wipe his tears away. After staring the other for a long time he took a step backward and stepped out of the apartment leaving the elder dumbfounded.

When he heard the door closed, Jonghyun realized that staying quiet is not a good thing. He once, no, more than once, let Kibum leave. This time he wanted to chase him, to show him that he love him and he wanted him. This time, he wanted Kibum to feel the love that he failed to show him before.

He ran as fast as he can to chase Kibum and was thankful when he saw that the other was just about to open his car. He ran towards him and pulled him into a back hug. Key struggled in his arms but he didn’t let go.

“Kibum. Kibum. I love you.” He said while as he buried his face in the other’s neck. “Kibum please.” He said when Key was still struggling. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I don’t know if those words are enough to describe my feeling for you.” He tried to stop his tears but he didn’t succeed. His love was overflowing and it hurts him hearing Key sob.

“Jonghyun. I am tired. So tired from all of this. I am tired of treating my wounded heart just to be stabbed and hurt again. I am tired Jonghyun of all this pain.” He said while holding the other’s arms that was holding him in the shoulder. “Please Jonghyun, please help me to get over. Please help me to let go, to forget.” His voice cracked.

“I am so sorry. I know that it’s useless now to say that but Kibum. I am so sorry.” Jonghyun said. He turned the other’s body so that he can see his face. It felt like a thousand daggers stabbed him when he saw the other’s tears. He held Key’s arms as he slowly fell on his knees. “Kibummie. I am so sorry. Please for the last time. Please forgive me. Please, don’t throw me away.” The elder said while he was on his knees and holding the others hands tightly. “Kibummie. I love you.”

Key sobbed harder. They stayed in that position for a long time then Key let fell on his knees so that he can see the elder’s face. “Jonghyun, you stupid. It was you,” he paused until the other raised his face then his eyes met. “It was you who threw me away.” He said looking directly into the other’s eyes.

The elder reached the others face and cupped it in his hands. “Kibummie. Kibummie. I won’t do it again. I’m not gonna promise but I will try my best. I am not going to hurt you again. Please let me be with you again. Please give me a chance to prove it. Hmm?”

Key didn’t answer instead he buried his face at the other neck and hugged him tightly as if his life depends on the other’s arms.

“Kibummie.” Jonghyun utter.

“You stupid dino.” Kibum mumbled while his face was still in the other’s neck. “This is the last time. This will be the last time I’m going to forgive you.” He continued.

Jonghyun smile in relief. He slowly pulled the other away. He stared at the other’s eyes and let his thought drown in his eyes. “I love you more than anything else Kibummie and again, I’m so sorry to just realize it right now..”

Kibum smiled. “Can you stop staying that and just kiss me?”

Jonghyun smiled as well as he pulled the other into a deep kiss. Kiss that contains a lot of love. They stood up while their lips were still in each other’s possession.

They don’t remember how did they manage to get in the apartment but they only realize that they are already in the bed when the video cam suddenly start playing when Jonghyun nudged it.

“This is for you Kibummie. I wrote this just for you.”

The music started playing as Jonghyun deepen the kiss between him and Kibum.

 The other let himself be devoured by the other again and just cherish the kisses that he miss so much. He hugged the other tightly at the neck as he opened his mouth to let Jonghyun have his way to taste him.

I guess I'm crazy
Crazy for you can't you see
Although you may think it's crazy
 

Jonghyun pulled away from the kissed and smiled when Kibum tried to have his lips again. “Easy babe.” He said while taking his shirt and pants off. After taking his own, he turned to the other and took the other’s clothes as well. After taking the other’s clothes he join him again in the bed but when he was about to kiss the younger again, Key stopped him. He raised his eyebrows in confusion.

Here it's where I want to be
I will always need your love.

Key smiled. He raised his hands as he took off his wig to set his blond hair free. “I told you long ago, that when I change my hair color that means I have already stopped loving you.” He said as he threw away the wig. “I love you Jonghyun. I still do.” He said looking into the other’s eyes.

Well now, I can see every dream
When I look in your eyes
 

“I love you too Kibum. More than what I’ve imagined.” The elder said as he slowly claimed the other’s lips.

They made love trying to cover all the pain that was in their heart. Trying to catch up the time that was lost when they were not in each other’s arms. Trying to make feel each other’s love with every kiss and hug, with every word that they utter, with every moment when words doesn’t need anymore to make them feel their love with each other.

Though, things never are what they seem
There is one thing that I realize
That there's no doubt in my mind

“I love you so much Kibum. I wish you can stay with me…” He mumbled while staring at the man under him. “..forever.”

We can make this love go on forever....