It’s been so long…

Many things had happened.

Many secrets had been revealed

I’ve been to different places…

Met many people

I waved & shook hands with some.

Smile and laugh in front of them.

But deep inside of me…

I’m breaking…

Those photos, those news…

That I always see and hear.

But more than that…

His words…

That I always hear whenever I go…

That keeps haunting me wherever I go.

“I will let you feel all the pain I’ve been feeling right now.

I will let you feel how damn it hurts to see someone you love loved someone else.

I will let you feel all the hurts, pains and disappointments a lover could ever feel

I will let you feel those

Until you regret this day

Until you regret of letting me go”

True to his words, from that day on, he went crazy breaking my heart. Photos of them in a vacation, Ice bucket challenge dedicating to his girlfriend, new tattoo of his girlfriend name. Telling the world that he belongs to her.

 He has been doing a great job on his new project, that is breaking my heart over and over again and today is no exception.

"Waaahhh daebak. Jiyong hyung really has the guts to post this huh!"

 "Post what?" Top  oppa asked Deukie who was busy checking the instagram. He went to him as well to see what he was talking about.

"Sick and tired of this please understand me."Deukie read aloud as he saw the post of Jiyong in instagram

"Jiyong must be fed up with the fans attacking Kiko. Well that’s the perks of being famous isnt it?

"Hmmm..."

The dancers nodded their head as well as the Big bang members.

 "I thought they broke up?"

Daesung oppa asked.

 "Do they look like they broke up? Do you think Ji hyung would spend his birthday in Japan if they are not together? I don’t think so."

Seungri answered back.

 "Kiko is really lucky to have Jiyong. He really loves her. " one dancer said

“and he's romantic. To stood up for Kiko and fight for her. I think thats really awesome." And another dancer said

 "Yes because not all people can do that."

 "But why he cannot do that for ----"

 "Top oppa yah!! Here you are. I have been looking for you!"

 I decided to come out before Top oppa say anything. Yes. I heard it all. I actually saw it and to say that I’m hurting is not enough. I’m hurting beyond the hurt can explain. They are right. He was so in love with her and was so romantic. Do I need to mention that he stood up for her? Something that he cannot do for

 ...... for me

"Why Chae baby? Are you going to treat me to the ice cream store I have been telling you?”

 "Ani. But I want to go to that place you’ve been telling me. I’m free today and I want to go there to check if it’s really good."

 "Can we come too?"

Seungri, Dae and the Kwon twins asked.

 I smiled and answered…

"Of course you..."

 "No you cannot.” Top oppa cut me into it.

“You’ve been there a lot of times already. Plus all of you are too noisy.”

Growls and protest were heard after that.

“Are you okay Chae?” Top oppa  asked me after he parked his car.

I looked at him and put a smile on my face  “Uhmm.. yeah. Of course I am. Why? Where are we now?”

“Well, you have been quiet throughout the ride and seemed spacing out.”

“Me? Spacing out? Of course not!”

“Yes. You are Chae. You want proof? Well then hear this, I was talking to you a while ago, telling some stories about my life but you didn’t seem to hear me. You were just looking outside the window and when I called your name, you just looked at me and nothing more. Lastly, we have arrived in you building but you don’t seem to notice.”

“We are now in my building? I thought we are going to your favorite place?”

“There you are. You were not really listening to me when I was blabbering a while ago. Well, Miss Chaerin, I will repeat again and I want you to listen to me okay. We cannot go to my favorite place