Seoul, 2013

Onew opened his eyes slowly, trying to remember the events of the previous night and just how much he had drank. He tried lifting his arm over his face, but some heavy weight on it stopped him, and as Onew looked over, the memories flooded him, leaving him to heave a heavy sigh at the male in his arms. Jonghyun was only covered by a thin blanket and Onew's arms. Slowly, Onew placed a pillow between the male's arms and slid out of the bed, walking over to the bathroom.

"What did I do?" he asked himself, lightly slapping his own cheek, "Wake up, Lee Jinki. He's getting married."

He brushed his teeth carefully and stepped into the shower, turning the water on and letting the tension roll off him, rolling his shoulders slowly. He remembered all the things he learned about Jonghyun through Taemin's words. He remembered Jonghyun's sudden aggresion and his own desperation for the younger male's touch. How it felt when he had climbed ontop of Jonghyun and took him for the first time in years. How Jonghyun's eyes closed as he came undone, sweat rolling down his shaking body.

"I'll support everything you do." Onew leaned back against the shower wall, looking up at the shower head as their past together flooded into his mind, and the broken promises they made to one another.

His ears perked up as the shower curtains moved aside and Jonghyun climbed in with him. Jonghyun looked determined, slightly fearful, and of course, absolutely handsome. Onew didn't have the time or thought to react as he watched the water rush down the younger male's chest.

Jonghyun ran his fingers over Onew's chest, a little sigh escaping his lips, "You changed so much, and you look too skinny now, Jinki."

"Please stop." Onew turned around and shook his head, "What we did yesterday was wrong and we were both under the influence of alcohol anyway. We need to move on, Jonghyun-ah. You're about to get-" He was cut off as a little shaky moan left his lips, Jonghyun's lips against his back and his shoulders.

"You really think it was because we were under the influence, hyung?" Jonghyun growled lowly, stopping for a moment to bite Onew's skin gently, "You wanted it as much as I did, Jinki."

With swift movements of his arms, Onew pushed Jonghyun away and scoffed, "Even if I did want it, I refuse to be your toy again, Kim Jonghyun. You may be able to love and have with anyone you want, but I have yet to do it with anyone other than you."

Jonghyun's eyes dimmed in realization of what the older male was thinking of, but before he could speak, Onew had gotten out of the shower and quickly pulled his clothes on as he left the bathroom.

A bad habit Onew picked up was smoking, due to job stress and of course, constant thoughts of Jonghyun. He didn't smoke much, but when he felt like the world was too much, he couldn't help but inhale a few huffs of smoke. He took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, taking the last cigarette out and placing it against his lips. As he tried to light it, however, the cigarette was pulled out of his lips, and in annoyance, he looked up at Jonghyun.

"When did you start to smoke?" Jonghyun asked, and Onew could see his fist clench by his side.

Onew yanked the cigarette back and lit it, putting the unlit end in his mouth, "Does it matter?"

"Yes it matters, because you're scaring me now." Jonghyun said shakily, and Onew turned his head away, only to be pulled against Jonghyun's broad chest, "I know I did a lot to hurt you, but it's killing me to know you changed into this because of me. I don't want Onew, I want Jinki."

His anger flaring again, Onew pushed Jonghyun back, "Well you can't have either ever again. You're getting married, if you forgot. To the one you've always chosen over me."

"You never waited to see why I did what I did. You never asked." Jonghyun breathed out, shoulders dropping and his head bowed slightly, "They told me they wanted to start me off with Jessica since she was already established. I didn't know it would end like that."

"It doesn't cover the fact that you lied to me and I had to find out about it when I-" He couldn't keep speaking about it, knowing that if he would, he would only end up in tears. He stood up again and grabbed his jacket, walking over to the door with Jonghyun following after him, his hand gripping on Onew's arm.

"Don't go, hyung." Jonghyun said breathlessly, "I've had enough of being left behind by you. If you still want to be together, I'll leave Jessica and-"

Onew scoffed, yanking the younger male's hand off and opening the door, only to have the door slammed shut before he could even step outside.

"Does that mean you don't want me anymore, hyung?" Jonghyun asked in a mere whisper, his eyes searching Onew's thoroughly.

Opening his mouth to speak, Onew tried to push the younger male away before realizing yet again that for the rest of his life, the only person he would want would be Jonghyun. How could he ever want anyone other than the caring, passionate, broken younger male?

"No matter what I want, Jonghyun-ah, I won't let my heart break again for you." He had finally pushed the younger away and gotten out of the room, Jonghyun's footsteps trailing after him.

"Hyung." Onew didn't turn around.

"You don't understand." Onew rolled his eyes.

"She's been seeing someone behind my back." Onew stopped walking so suddenly that he almost lost his footing and tripped onto his face.

"Kris and Jessica have been together without me knowing for months, hyung." Jonghyun said, and Onew glanced back to see Jonghyun was looking down, his right hand rubbing his left arm, "I found out from one of her groupmates, Tiffany."

Letting out a deep sigh, Onew turned around and walked back to Jonghyun, wrapping his arms around the younger male, "It's okay, Jonghyun-ah-"

"No it's not okay!" Jonghyun suddenly pushed Onew back, walking over to the wall and sliding down, hugging his knees, "The only man that made me feel alive left me years ago, and the girl that promised not to do the same ended up cheating on me."

Despite the fact that they themselves had just done something equally as bad, Onew realized that Jonghyun wouldn't have done it unless being driven to do so. It had happened before between them, a bitter memory Onew had hid deeply in his soul. Slowly, he walked over to Jonghyun and sat on the ground next to him, wrapping his arm around the younger male's shoulder and pulling him close.

"Jinki hyung," Jonghyun whispered, and Onew turned his head Jonghyun, urging him to continue his words, "take me back, please?"

Onew's heart broke again as he pulled Jonghyun back onto his feet, "I'll take you home, Jonghyun-ah. Jessica must be worried."

Jonghyun didn't struggle to get out of Onew's grip, only leaning further into the arms that held him. As the two climbed into Onew's car, the younger sat without moving, Onew letting out a deep sigh as he leaned over Jonghyun to buckle in his seat belt.

As he began to pull back, Jonghyun suddenly placed a hand around the back of his neck, kissing him desperately. Even though he knew he should pull away and stop the younger, Onew couldn't help but kiss back, tilting his head as the kiss deepend. He pulled back slowly, his eyes half closed as he looked into Jonghyun's own.

"I love you, hyung." Jonghyun whispered, and Onew's heart soared.

A stoic expression on his face, Onew turned back to the road and started driving. He didn't want to fall any deeper in love with Jonghyun since the male still was supposed to marry Jessica.

Jonghyun k