Today’s Thursday, and I am officially a ghost walking through the world. I am what I used to be, broken. Since Monday, I have been reduced to the abuse that I let come on to me. Because I won’t give Seung-hyun what he wants, I must pay for it.

My body has become a purple canvas that it used to be. My body is so beaten; every movement I make is more painful than the next. Because of the pain, it’s becoming too much to take. I keep hearing the voices in my head telling me to go have a drink or pop a pill. As much as I want to brush it off, I’m losing the will to.

Yesterday, I took four aspirin pills, but just spit them out before I could swallow. I even snuck downstairs at 3:00 in the morning and looked in the cabinets for a drink. I did find some bottles of wine and vodka, but I just left the kitchen like it didn’t even happen. I don’t know if I can take this anymore. It’s hard to go on living knowing that I am stuck in this world. I have an abuse ex-boyfriend back in my life, I am now completely on outs with my step-brother who I am conflicted with when it comes to my feelings, and I’m slowly pushing away the friends I was just gaining.

I don’t even bother to come to lunch anymore. I just sit in the closet waiting for 12:15 to come. It’s sad isn’t it, I’ve completely given up. The door came open and Seung-hyun stood over me. Without looking back, he locked the door and asked as he always did, “Are you finished playing stupid?”

As I lifted myself off the ground, I groaned from the pressure on my legs. Yesterday, Seung-hyun had stomped on me that I could barely walk today. I stood up and got an inch close to him, “Just hurt me already. You’re not getting anything, not anytime soon.”

I figured, no matter what I say, it’ll only end in this. Seung-hyun socked me so hard in the stomach, I thought he punched out my organs. He grabbed me by the neck and began choking me. He only does it for a few seconds and he throws me to the wall. Before I can even slump to the floor, he kicks me in the stomach and screams, “I hope you like the floor, because that’s where you’re going to end up if you keep acting this way!” My breath keeps getting kicked out of me, I feel like I’m turning blue from the lost of oxygen. I just laid there and took it all in.

Seung-hyun obviously didn’t like how comfortable I got, so he grabbed my wrist and pulled me up. He looked at his phone and sneered, “Great, we only got 2 minutes left. Well whatever, I can make this quick. Out of nowhere, Seung-hyun grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the closet. He walked me to the second-story stairs and looked down. He smirked at the sight and snickered, “This will do.”

Quickly, he let go of my wrist and got behind me. Both of his hands pushed my back and I saw the stairs come closer to my view. My feet were off the ground and gravity had pushed me down. I fell on to the hard, cold ground and tumbled down the stairs. I tried to scream, but there was no voice to use. Once the trip was over, I laid there on the floor. My sight had gone fully blurry and I closed my eyes. Maybe Seung-hyun finally decided to get rid of me.

KRIS POV:

This whole week has become hell. (Y/N) hasn’t gotten any better and I don’t know why. I’d rather her be sad one day and happy the next. She doesn’t even come to lunch anymore. I don’t know where she goes. I try to follow her, but she always slips away.

“Sehun, during 5^th period, how does (Y/N) look to you?”

Sehun’s look worried me, “Kris, it’s kind of scary. She doesn’t look mad like she was on Monday. She looks like she’s dead. Come to think of it, she’s been looking sick.”

Sehun was right. (Y/N) had become a walking skeleton; I could tell from the appearance on her wrists, they were so thin. Also, when it came to her beautiful face, her cheeks were caving in and her tan was gone. She looked so pale, I could see the bags under her eyes even more.

Luhan lowered his head, “Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten pissed at her.”

“No, it couldn’t be what you said. It is something else.”

We couldn’t carry on a conversation without (Y/N) being brought up, so we just ate our lunch. The bell quickly rang and students exited the cafeteria. I noticed people were gathering around in a crowd, was a fight going on? Thanks to my height, my father’s gift to me, I looked over and saw a girl lying on the ground. Wait a minute, (Y/N) was wearing that outfit today. I pushed through the crowd and knelt beside the figure. I turned her over. My fears were clear.

“SOMEONE CALL A NURSE!!!”

I lifted her chin and lightly patted (Y/N)’s cheek. “(Y/N), WAKE UP!! PLEASE, WAKE UP!!”

Everyone watched me keep (Y/N) close to my body as I began to cry. I just prayed in my heart and mind, “God, don’t you take someone else I love away from me. Not again, please!” I held her close to my chest and just let the tears pour out, each drop hitting her precious face.

The school nurse pushed through the crowd and asked me to bring (Y/N) to the office. I grabbed (Y/N) in my arms and bolted off with the nurse. I laid her on the bed while the nurse was getting ready to call 911, but before she did, we heard coughing. (Y/N) started waking up, and she sat up. I helped her up, but she groaned. I kept my arms around her but didn’t hold her too close.

“Where am I?”

I was on the verge of tears again, I couldn’t hold back my feelings, “You’re here in the nurse’s office. Everyone found you on the ground lying unconscious. What the hell happened?!?”

She looked at me as if I was the enemy when she barked, “I just slipped from the stairs, okay! Don’t get worked up over nothing!”

I barked back from how lightly she tried to make the situation, “Worked up over nothing?!?! You were lying there basically dead, I almost had a heartattack.”

(Y/N) shot me a pissed off expression and threw me off her. “Why should you care?!?! No need to get hurt over me. You know what, I got class!” She furiously walked off and slammed the nurse’s door. I couldn’t believe this. I thought she was dead and she gets pissed at me. At this point, I know it. (Y/N) is back on her addiction.

(Y/N)’s POV:

This whole day has become the worst day of my life. Once I got into 5^th period, everyone looked at me. Even the teacher stopped teaching to ask me in front of everyone, “Are you okay (Y/N)?” I was so pissed that I just retorted, “I’m alright, damn it! Just go on with the class. I fell down the stairs, nothing more nothing less!” Everyone looked at me with their mouths hanging open. The teacher was so shocked; she just went on with the lesson. However, the whole atmosphere was tense. No one wanted to dare talk to me.

Once class ended, no one even got up from their seats until I left. I just stormed off to 6^th period with everyone I passed by giving me looks and whispering about how I’m that girl that was found by the bottom of the stairs. Once I sat in my seat, I just did nothing that whole period. Dara had tried to talk to me, but I put my hand up and said, “Save your breath, I don’t want to hear it.”

Outside, I had become the biggest ever, but on the inside, I was only dead. Seung-hyun had crossed another line. I couldn’t believe he pushed me down the stairs. Dara out of nowhere whispered, “I just wanted to know if you were okay. Even Seung-hyun asked because he got worried too. Seeing you like that scared me to death.”

For some reason, I snapped and harshly murmered, “I don’t need Seung-hyun’s sympathy. If anything, you should stay away from him Dara. He’s bad news and he’ll only hurt you.” It hit me. I just said something that hinted who he was. Dara couldn’t respond because I walked out of class without looking back. The teacher was yelling for me to return, but I just kept hearing her voice go smaller and smaller. Where I was going, back home to my solitude.