Mnemosyne
Titan of memory and remembrance. 

Two hours had gone by. I couldn’t move or make a sound. Once school was over and the dressing room was completely empty for the rest of the day, I could look at my phone again. I had no clothes whatsoever. My dignity was long gone. What was there left for me? “Mom…” I looked at her number and had to really think this through. First of all, I didn’t want to wake her. She worked a lot, having multiple jobs just to tie the knots together. I was sure that she was still sleeping. Second, I had to explain to her why my clothes were gone.

And of course, why there was an ugly word carved into my arm. It wouldn’t go away and I was sure that the scar tissue would haunt me forever. What mother would ignore the fact that her son was, completely , locked inside a shower cabin with mutilated skin? No. She suffered too much already. I didn’t want to put her through my things. She didn’t deserve any of this. But who was left to call? Well, I had been staring at his phone number for the last twenty minutes, but…

I started crying. Real crying. The cries and sobs you produce when you’re lost, completely out of sync. I wasn’t sure whether I could even describe it to myself properly. All I knew was when I started making sounds like a wounded animal, I had texted the only other number I had in my phone. It was a last attempt, a final sign of desperation. I had faced the lowest point in my life and knew that NYF would make sure that this was just the beginning. I didn’t know how far this would go; but death seemed like a realistic goal.

I stayed put, pressing my head against the door of the cabin, until I could hear a soft knock about half an hour further into my despair. I knocked as well and looked at the clothes that were slowly hung over the door. I took some time to let it all in before I felt the thick sweater in my hands. It smelled nice. Vanilla and sandalwood. It reminded me of my mother’s perfume. I softly smiled and felt the fabric touching my skin. My heart raced and by the time I was fully dressed, I realized I had to open the door and face him.

So I did. I opened the door and looked into Kai’s eyes. His expression showed me a blend of anger and emptiness. “Your lips,” he could finally produce. “Are blue.” That’s when I realized how cold I was. Someone had left a window open, to let out the humid air, right next to the cabins. I had been shivering for hours- just too numb to realize. My knees started shaking, bones turned into a gel-like substance. I had to sit down for a bit and my wobbling journey ended on one of the benches.

Kai sat next to me, silence remained between us. Until he took off his thick coat and draped it over my shoulders. His eyes were fixed to the floor, I tried my hardest to hold in the tears. “I know a story we can tell.” I inhaled deeply. “I know a scary story we can tell. I had hours to think about it.” I slowly carried my body to the door and nodded slowly. “Thank you. I will return these to you tomorrow.” I hung his coat on a rack and escaped as fast as I could. I was hyperventilating, slowly decaying until I reached home. I ran inside, and stopped in front of my bedroom door.

There was a note glued to the wood. It took some scratching until it finally came off. Only twenty minutes later, I realized what I had read. It took so long, because even my bed couldn’t comfort me until I reached a stable mental stage once again. The note was right. I had no reason not to attend school. Both of my uniforms were folded on my bed, waiting for me to be seen. He had returned them.

DON’T YOU DARE SKIPPING SCHOOL TOMORROW.

NYF

When I woke up the next morning and reached school, against my will, I dreaded the look of the gate upon reaching it. Slowly, I crossed the border between reality and pure hell. Kai wasn’t alone. He was standing against the wall of the left wing, smoking and talking to someone I did not know. When our eyes met, his hand made a gesture I had never seen before. He was signaling me that I had to come over. He was inviting me. Or he just wanted his clothes back, which I was carrying in a black paper bag.

“See, this is Luhan. I’m sure we will score very high. What a shame your class has a different assignment.” Kai casually said to his friend, who seemed rather stylish for a high school kid. His uniform was altered, but still following the restrictions. He seemed interested in me. He softly smiled and looked at his friend again.

“Ah, that’s right!” Kai seemed rather lively today and looked at his friend. “Did you bring your iPad? I know a place where we can get access to free wifi. I need him to see that blog