Janus
God of beginnings and transitions. The past and the future.

Words couldn’t describe what went through my head when I read this letter. It was as if things initially couldn’t get any worse, but it did. I breathed in a great volume of air and tried holding it in. Slowly, I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself this was all just a dream. I knew, deep inside, that this illusion would break down the moment I opened them again and had to stare at the black envelope once more.

My lips trembled as I read it again. I’m the person who dislikes you the most. My eyes turned moist, nose started itching and my lungs refused to accept any form of oxygen at this point. I hid the envelope, containing the letter, underneath my math textbook and looked at the person who was sitting next to me. He was studying, not interested in my despair.

The person, who wrote me this letter, called himself ‘Not Your Friend’, well, that was kind of obvious. I didn’t have any friends. The only being that seemed fairly happy and excited upon seeing me after a long day, was my dog Miyoung. No one cared for me. Heck, they did care, but not in a good way. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend why everyone liked to see me suffer. However, this person, NYF, was determined to make it even worse. I wanted to cry, but couldn’t.

The moment I took a seat on this chair, during the first period, I already knew someone messed around with it. Shivers raced down my spine as I looked down and saw someone wrote words with a pencil on my desk. All the way down, take a look. I didn’t know what it meant, until I wanted to tie my shoelaces and noticed something black glued underneath my desk. The same sticky substance that was used to glue me against the chair.

I couldn’t breathe right now. All I could do was look around, in a pure state of panic and find the person to whom this letter belonged. People laughed at me, some gave me ugly looks- but nothing seemed suspicious. My stomach turned.

The moment I absolutely dreaded took place. The bell rang, which meant everyone was allowed to have lunch. I couldn’t stand up right now. Everyone would see what NYF did to my chair. I would be laughed at again, while today seemed pretty quiet surrounding me.

It took them thirty seconds to clear the classroom. The only person, who remained inside, was my math teacher. He frowned at me and pointed at the door- signaling me that I’d better leave. My head remained like this, eyes glued on my desk, while he approached me.

“Luhan, it’s lunch break.” Mr. Choi Siwon kept his eyes on me and grabbed his little briefcase. “Go outside and relax a bit.”

“C-can I-I s-s-stay inside,” I couldn’t speak normally anymore. I tried to look at him, but couldn’t. I placed my hand on my textbook and frowned. “to finish my task?”

Mr. Choi sighed deeply, irritated and rubbed over his forehead. I knew he liked me, because my grades were high enough to be remembered by him. I was the only person in class who remained silent when he asked and didn’t ask for it. He never wrote a bad word about me on my report card and I knew he would give in.

“Okay,” he whispered and gave me a soft smile- something he almost never did. Out of his left pocket, he took a key and placed it on my desk. “Here, bring it back to room 707 in an hour. Study all you want.”

“T-thank you, sir.” With that said, he left and closed the door behind him. I exhaled deeply and felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks. I could finally show what I really felt and dropped my head on my textbook, feeling my body shake terribly. It took me at least five minutes to catch my breath again and wipe away these heavy tears.