❤ Calling LekpopLj ❤
♛ The K-POP Tea Shop ♛ {HIATUS}
Title: 5/5
- First things first, I love your title! I thought it sounded very romantic, totally like something I would want to read. When I read your forward, though, I was like: “It’s about Halloween? How does that fit with the title?” As I read on it became very apparent that it was a perfect fit to your fic!
Aesthetic Appeal: 8/10
- I really, really loved your main picture, you found a great one! No problems with that! Points were taken off for a tiny problem I have with your foreword, I’ll explain that later on.
Description/Foreword: 7/10
- The description doesn’t reveal much about the fic and it comes across as quite mysterious. I actually really liked this, along with the dark rosy background there was a shadowy element to it. I do have one problem with your description though, and that is: “The most scariest date” This phrase just doesn’t sit right. Choose either: “The scariest date” or “The most scary date” (personally, I prefer the first one). I liked the extract in your foreword, it was just the right length and added some extra information that the description left out (i.e. there might be ghosts!) Again, I only have one problem with it. The amount of different font styles is a bit off putting. Even changing the dialogue from bold to normal might make it a bit simpler. Personally, I think the font size of the extract should be a bit bigger, so that it fits in with the description and disclaimer.
Characterization/ Details: 11/20
- There isn’t a physical description of Iljae so I found it quite hard to picture her. Don’t be disappointed with this score! I understand that you are going on to describe some past connection between the two characters, and that’s fine! As it is just now, though, the characters don’t have too much to them.
Plot: 18/20
- Okay, a high mark for plot. There are a few wee twists in there that I like. This mark is also anticipating that your fic continues to develop the way it has been. I feel that right now it is at a stage where it could get interesting, very interesting indeed.
Flow: 7/10
- In your opening paragraph there is a bit where the tenses are confused. I get that the story is in past tense but a couple of times it switches to present, just be careful about that. Also, there are a few small words missed out here and there. e.g. “neighbourhood was at feast” Should be “neighbourhood was at a feast” The wrong word was sometimes used as well. e.g. “‘if that is ever real,’ She chuckled.” Should be: “‘if that is even real.’ She chuckled.” These are probably nothing more than typos, we all make them, just try to proof read before you post. There were no major problems with the flow, these are just the wee mistakes that it’s easier for someone else to pick up on, a second pair of eyes and all that. Actually, after the first chapter these small mistakes dramatically reduce.
Originality: 9/10
- I’ve never read anything like this at all! This might just be because this isn’t the type of fic I usually read–so I gave you 9 point just to be safe ;).
ETC: 13/15
- I loved the way that you described things throughout this fic. Your word choice was excellent, especially that scroll bit, wow it sounded fancy! I really liked chapter four. There was light humour which was appropriate to the genre. I really loved (warning:extract coming): “Hey, I was born with these female-capturing looks and I seriously don’t look like them. Then, I hear Suho scoff. Oh, he was still here, listening.” It actually made me laugh so much! I really enjoyed your fic and have subscribed. There is obvious progression in the standard of each chapter; your writing is constantly improving. I look forward to seeing how it continues!
78/100
~clear_penguin
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