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designer's note: please keep in mind reviews are often soley based on the opinions of the reviewer. this is not, in any way, meant to be taken as a personal attack on the story or the author whatsoever. Also, i am willing to redo the review once the story is completed.   

 

clear_penguin

story link

mean idols

 
 

 

 

Title: 4/5

- I liked the fact that you kept it simple, instead of having a long cliche title.

Aesthetic Appeal: 9/10

- Being a graphic designer myself, I did think that the poster and background were very well done. I also liked the fact that you were consistent with font size and color for each chapter. There is nothing more off putting in a story than having a whole mess of gigantic bright font everywhere.

Description and Foreword: 3/10

- Although I liked the fact that you were straightforward with your description and foreword, it is extremely lacking in detail. A description is the first thing that potential readers see, so you want to have something that will lure them in, so that they'll be more likely to read your story. The description doesn't necessary have to be mini vague summary of your plot, but it can also be a simple excerpt from your story. As for the foreword, I, personally am not a fan of character lists. Though, that was not a contributing factor to the low score, but rather that the lack of detail that was in your character list. Also... well, I'm entirely sure how to phrase this. For example, you labeled Sungyeol's character as "Mr Sungyeol," when you should have used his last name to address him instead: "Mr. Lee" (just formalities and such)

Characterization/Details: 13/20

- The story as a whole was lacking quite a bit of detail, and the characterization could use some work as well. In fictional stories, one of the goals of the writer should be to write the story in a way that can be easily visualized by the readers. Because of the fact that there wasn't much detail, the story kind of painted a fairly vague picture in my mind. I'm not saying that you have to go all out with details, but adding enough in to give a better visual would help. As for the characterization, to put it lightly, how the characters were portrayed felt a bit... empty. You didn't really go into all that much depth in regards to what the characters were thinking, their emotions, actions, etc.

Plot: 5/20

- Because of the fact that this is a parody of a movie, I can't really give you points on the plot. I did, however, give you points for thinking up the idea of making a parody fic on the movie.

Flow: 5/10

A majority of the paragraphs were rather choppy, due to the many fragment sentences and a few run-ons. The entire story as a whole did lack proper punctuation. A lot of the sentences could have been worded better, so sentence structure might be something you want to work on. Plus, with parts of the dialogue, there wasn't any specification as to who said what line. Things like that can often be confusing for some readers.

Originality: 3/10

- I didn't really see much difference from the events in the movie, aside from a few details. The thing is, when you base something off of something else, you're supposed to put your own spin on it to make your own. This goes especially for parodies.

Etc: 10/15

- Viewing the story from a general audience's POV, your story might be well received. That is what this score is based on. Though, from my perspective, the story does need a lot of work. I am in no way trying to say that your story is bad, but I'm just saying that there is room for improvement. I do think that the writer(s) have potential, but like all things, it takes time to hone craft and find a style that suits you.

52/100

~Casely

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