What is love?

I often ask myself that question. Being an idol means that I don't get the chance to experience love. Having spent half my life since a teen being a trainee, it's hard to juggle both love and work. Till I met her. 

"Hello everyone we are DREAM!" The girl group before us was debuting today and were having their rehearsals now. I was bored in the waiting room, and since our rehearsal was next, I decided to head towards the stage first and I saw the group. 

I always dance to girl group dances, might as well learn this one too. I stared hard at their dances, but my eyes kept glancing towards one girl. Her name was special too, Jingyi. Is she Korean? Then I heard her, her voice that sounded as sweet as candy. It was obvious though, she sounded like Tao speaking in broken Korean. She's definitely not Korean. Her dancing was perfect, she knew when to twist her hips, she knew how to act cute and y at the same time. She looked like a goddess. She was perfect. 

They rehearsed once more and finished with a group thank you before leaving the stage. God bless that day because they used the exit not too far from where I was. Being a senior in the music industry, also senior in terms of age, they bowed and greeted me with their chirpy voices but I was only staring at Jingyi of course.

I don't know, but there's this unconditional emotion that I feel whenever I see her. Was this just an imagination? She made the entire day seem like a year without her, a minute when she appears. It's like losing my mind when I see her at the different broadcasting stations. Everything seemed to get into slow motion, I wonder what this is. 

"Minseok, do you think that the DREAM member Jingyi is cute?"
"DREAM? Who's that?" Minseok was obviously not bothered by the latest girl group updates. He was busy filming for other artistes' music videos. 
"I'll show you. You'll think she's cute too..." I googled her with hope that something will actually appear. Being a rookie group which hasn't achieve much fame, pictures and profiles might be hard to find. I hit the 'enter' button on the search engine, praying hard as her face appeared first. 
"That's her. I think she's cute. Don't you think so too?" I smiled. There were barely any proper photos, most of the photos were either her own selcas from her Twitter account, or official company photos from the album or pre-debut photoshoots. She was previously a model... in CHINA. My eyes widened at the word. 

"Minseok ah! She's from China!!!" I jumped up and down, kicking my knee against the table, before wincing at the pain. 
"Seriously? Woah. You found your partner Lulu." Minseok was not really bothered, but he was amazed at the number of idols coming from China, especially since there were 4 of us in our own group. I blushed. I barely knew this girl, but at the same time, it felt like I know her. 

//

"Hello everyone we are DREAM!" The rookie girl group greeted. They continued to rehearse and make sure everything was right. We were at the waiting room, waiting to be called by the stage manager to rehearse when her face came onto the screen of the TV. I stared at her almost flawless face, her smile, her wink. I decided to go to the backstage earlier again, hoping to see her. 

"Thank you!" The group exited the stage on my side again, bowing to me. She smiled and then moved on. 
"You guys sound good and dance well!" I shouted as they left. Jingyi turned back and bowed once more. She has such nice manners... How am I ever going to go close with her???

The week passed by quickly, with them performing hard and us promoting our latest comeback track, Wolf. 
It was the second week of promotions, we were nominated for 1st on nearly all the music programmes. I was excited of course. We haven't won any trophy, we were close during the MAMA era but we lost to the other big groups in the industry. 

It was time to reveal the results. We stood in front together with the hosts. As I prayed fervently, hoping that we would get the trophy today, the host announced that Wolf won. We won! I was sobbing a little. A year full of hard work and effort finally paid off. I stared at the trophy Suho was holding. It was ours to keep. At this moment, a bouquet appeared in front of me. I took it and bowed, then looking up to realise it was Jingyi. 
"Thank you Jingyi-ssi." I wiped the tears off, this was definitely not the best time to talk to the girl of your dreams. 
"You're welcome. Congratulations sunbae." Jingyi replied in Chinese. She knew I was from China too, so she spoke comfortably in Chinese to me. At this moment, all the guys are going to be jealous of me.

//

2 weeks later, it was announced that DREAM was going to going to appear on All the Kpop. 

"All the Kpop? That sounds familiar... Minseok ah, do we have a schedule for All the Kpop?" 
"Yeah, Lay and Kai are going on behalf of 12 of us. Why?" 
"I have to go to that schedule. DREAM is going." 
"Lulu are you serious? You really like that girl?" I just stared at him and nodded. 

//

"Let's welcome Lay, Kai and Luhan from EXO! Eureureong, Eureureong, wolf-like boys are here!" 
"We are one! Hello we are EXO!" We spoke the standard greeting before going on to introduce ourselves. 
"Let's welcome Jingyi and Rey from the new girl group DREAM!" 
"Sweet DREAMS! Hello everyone, we are DREAM!" Jingyi and Rey bowed and smiled. I couldn't help but stare at Jingyi the whole time. 

"Let's start off with finding your couple shall we? The guys will have a dance-off before the girls choose their partners." Dance? I am not good at dancing. I am a main vocal, I don't do dancing. How do I impress Jingyi for her to choose me?!" 
"Woah! Kai is good, look at that! Now Lay! Lay has got his y back~ Yeah! Now Luhan! Let's go Luhan!" Here goes nothing. I went out with a little body wave. Slowly grooving to the somewhat y music. I glide through the floor with my knees and went towards Jingyi. I danced around her, with simply grooving and then went back. 

"Ah, is Luhan targeting just a girl? I see what you're trying to do there Luhan. Nice one!" 

//

"Now guys, it's your last chance to make a final call. Say a few words." Once again, I was confused. I didn't know what to say. My Korean was so-so, I was afraid to make a mistake. 

"Luhan, say some few words to the girls."
"Can I sing instead?"
"Sure! Woah, a serenade!"

"All the guys in the world are jealous of me. They must be jealous to death, for having you. Even after the sun goes down and moon goes down, it will never change. You will find out that I'm a guy that you can trust." I finish singing with a bow. 

//

"Now all the girls be prepared. Get ready to pick your man! Get set, ready, go!" We had to close our eyes and wait for a girl to stand behind us. It was nerve-wrecking. I felt someone's presence behind me, I hope it was Jingyi... 

"Guys, turn behind!" I turned to see Jingyi standing behind, smiling shyly. I bowed and smiled back. I held her hand as we walked to the side to prepare for the next game. 

//

After a few rounds, we weren't winning, neither were we last. I was trying my best but the games were tough to understand, especially when both of us weren't exactly Korean. We could not communicate in Chinese too. 

"Are you okay? You seem tired." Jingyi whispered in Chinese.
"I'm alright. You?" 
"I'm good too." 

//

"We have come to the end of the show. How was it Luhan?" 
"It was fun, I had fun. I learnt how to play the different games now. I hope that we can come back to this show again. Thank you." 
"Well said! Thank you for watching All the Kpop! Bye!" The host ended the show with his words. 

"Hyung, you didn't even bother looking at us. What were you doing whispering to that girl?" Kai teased. 
"I like that girl..." They were my members, I could tell them right? 

"Excuse me, Luhan sunbae, could I talk to you for a second?" 
"Sure." Jingyi approached me shyly. Is this my miracle?

"I was wondering if you would like to join me and my friends for a BBQ, we're all from China so I thought maybe you might want to invite Yixing sunbae, Wufan sunbae and Zitao sunbae too. It's just a mini-gathering. If you're free that is." 
"Sure, I'll be there!" 

//

I wore my best outfit and left the house. I decided not to bring any of the other members because it would be hard for me to do anything. 

"Sunbae you came!" Jingyi ran towards me as I arrived at the party. I spotted a few familiar faces like Daeryeong and Soryeong and also Zhoumi hyung. I suddenly felt bad for not inviting the China line to the party. It was a huge China line gathering and I decided not to call them because I wanted to chase a girl in peace. I facepalmed myself in my head as I made a call back to the dorm. 

"Minseok ah, ask Zitao or Yixing to pick up." Minseok refused.
"Okay fine. Then tell them and Kris to come down to Apgujeong now. There's a China line gathering here."
"Can I come too? I'm in EXO-M you know..." Minseok was bored at home and wanted to hang out with new people.
"No, you're not Chinese!" 
"I won't tell them then." 
"Fine, you can come!" I surrendered. 

//

20 minutes later, as I was striking a conversation with Jingyi smoothly, there was a commotion. 

"Is that...?" Jingyi lost her focus on me as she noticed 11 boys walking over to her, or rather, me. EVERY SINGLE EXO MEMBER IS HERE. 

"Lulu, you didn't bother telling us there was a party earlier eh?" Minseok teased. 
"Why did you ask everyone to come?" I was pissed, of course. This was a China line gathering, EXO-K should not be here. 
"We overheard! Damn, some girls have got their groove on!" Jongin danced over to the girls as he shouted. I sighed. This is going to be a bad night. 

//

"So, tell me more about idol life. Are there any things to notice? Being a rookie is kind of tough, especially when you trained for so long right?" Jingyi was nervous talking to me, I could tell. She twined her fingers and played with her hair. 

"Well, just trust your instincts and follow orders. Don't run about too much unless your manager allows you too. Find someone you can trust and have heart to heart talks often, it solves a little of the stress from being an idol." 
"Do you have someone you can trust?"
"Well, I can trust most of my members. It's been a few years since we debuted...  I make myself sound old." I chuckled at my joke. Wrong move you idiot.

"The other members are quite self-occupied. They don't really bother. They work hard and they simply put up their best on stage. Trust is not something you can find that easily." Jingyi sighed. I understood how she felt. Being a foreigner debuting in a mainly Korean group, it was difficult for me, let alone her. 

"You can trust me if you want." I shyly spoke. 
"You? But you're a senior. I don't even have your number..." 
"You can have my number. Give me your phone!" I quickly took her phone and typed my number and called my phone. This way, I have her phone number too. 

"You can trust me. I'll be your confidante." I smiled at her. Suave Xi Luhan, you're doing great.  
"Really? That's really great. Thank you sunbae!" Jingyi hugged me in a moment's folly. I swear in that moment I lost my mind again. She smells like barbecue and a little lavender. I blame the actual barbecue for the barbecue smell but she still smells great. 

//

After the exchange of phone numbers, we talked excessively on kakaotalk, LINE and other social media networking sites. I was literally on the phone 24/7, I would talk to her for a long time if we ever meet during our promotion period.  I could tell that she was slowly trusting me, but I wasn't sure of my next step. Should I confess? 

//

Me: I have something I want to tell you.
BFF: What is it? Did something happen to you?
Me: No...
Me: I 
Me: Nevermind.
BFF: Han ah, just tell me! Is something wrong? Did Sehun bully you again?
Me: I love you. 

There I said it. I confessed. Jingyi's account went offline. I screwed it up. I ruined our friendship. She didn't even bother replying. She just went offline. 

//

BFF: Han, you there?

She replied!

Me: Look, sorry for confessing. I just, it has been on my mind for months. I liked you since I saw you back when you debuted on M!Countdown, I could not hide my feelings any further. I will protect you and comfort you like always, we can be best friends in a lover way, I'll be on your side always, I'm never going to leave your side whether or not you reject me so yeah. 
 

BFF: I like you too. 

I paused and read that line over and over again. Did she just say yes to my confession?

Me: You... like me too? 
BFF: I didn't dare to approach you because you were a sunbae, but you proved yourself to be more than just a sunbae to me. I trusted you as I talked to you more frequently, I just fell in love I guess...

JACKPOT! She likes me too! This is a win-win situation!

Me: I promise never to break your heart. I will make more money and we will retire together with loads of money like we used to say. 
BFF: Of course we will. I have practice in 5 minutes. See you later, boyfriend.

Boyfriend I am her boyfriend! I smiled as I changed her contact. 

- Contact name changed to Love -

[Author's note: Hello there! Thank you to ChunsaAngel21 who requested this story! ^^ I took 3 days to write this so it may seem a little choppy hehe but hope you guys like it anyway! Oh and Happy New Year everyone! ]