❝I Love You, Kris Wu❞

ღ Chapter 13 ღ

I froze when I heard Tao walking towards the door. I grabbed my phone charger and plugged it into the wall and pretended that I fell asleep checking my phone. "I'm gonna check on Claire...It's so quiet in there." 

Of course it's quiet. I've been holding in all my sneezes and coughs because I was trying to listen the whole time. 

He peeks in and I pretend to sleep. I hear a little chuckle before I feel his arms around me. “You fall asleep in weird positions.” He whispers.

I stay still until Tao leaves the room. I lie in bed and think about what would’ve happened if I confessed to Tao earlier. I liked Tao back in middle school too; I liked him throughout high school to be honest. Yeah, I had a crush on Luhan but that was a fan crush. I genuinely liked Tao since 9th grade. I felt like he was the only person who didn’t make fun of me in Junior High. He understood me.

How did I end up with Kris then? Was it out of jealousy? Was it because seeing him like Yuri hurt? I love him, I really do, but why are we together?

I laid there thinking for hours. I didn’t get any sleep despite the fact that I had a class the next morning. I don’t know anymore. Something’s telling me I didn’t exactly fall in love with Kris. Maybe I dated him out of pity. Out of jealousy. Maybe I dated him because I didn’t want my best friend to be with another girl.

My stomach flip flopped. Tao’s staying here for a week. I think I still have time to figure this out. Who do I love? Who do I belong with?

I waited until I heard Joseph say “Bye! See you tomorrow maybe?”

The door slammed close. Tao left.

I got up and tied my hair into a bun. Right now, Joe seemed like the only person I could talk to freely. “Is he gone?” I asked.

Joe turned around and peeked out from the couch. “Um, yeah. Did you want to talk to him?”

I shook my head. “Joe we need to talk.”

“Another heart to heart?”

“Yeah this time it’s more serious.” I grabbed his sweater that was on the coffee table and slipped it on. “I…”

I covered my mouth. I felt like something was gonna come out. Tears. I took a deep breath. “I heard everything Tao said.”

“…”

“And, I liked him too…since 9th grade until Kris and I got together.” I whispered.

Joe slapped his mouth closed.

“And now, I honestly don’t know what’s going on with me because the feelings I had for Tao never left. I never forgot about him, I moved on.” I said.

Joe pulled on a few strands of his hair. “Oh my Lord. What is this? Girl how come you didn’t tell me?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t know! I didn’t know…”

“Okay, tell me, what’s wrong? Don’t you love Kris?”

I nodded. “I do, I love him a lot. But, my Junior High school career was terrible and I got made fun of and bullied because of my height and what I looked like. Tao was the only one who didn’t and I feel like he understood me. I liked him.” I whispered.

“Claire…You’ve been with Kris since you were…17? Are you gonna throw 2 years away just like that?”

I pulled his hood on. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I barely see Kris. We don’t talk; we’re 16 hours apart and thousands of miles away. The next time I’m gonna see him is when he debuts and goes back to Korea after 6 months of promoting. I honestly don’t know if we’re gonna have time to be together. Will he still be in love with me?” I said. “And besides, I don’t know how I fell in love with him.”

“What?”

“I think I started dating him out of jealously. I didn’t want to see him with another girl. After having him as a best friend all my life, I don’t like to see him with other girls who make him happy.” I mumbled. “We dated, we had fun, and I thought I was in love. But am I really? I’m so confused at this point.” I whispered.

Joe pulled me into a hug. “Baby girl listen, I think that you’re feeling like this because you haven’t seen him in a long time. My grandparents always told me that they were with each other for so long because they lived in a generation where if something was broken, they’d try to fix it instead of throwing it away. Love takes time. Maybe you just need to see him.”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t know if I can wait 2-3 years to see someone who probably won’t remember me anymore.”

“Shush Claire, don’t think about it. Sleep it away.”

I sighed and fell asleep in Joe’s sweater.

I suddenly thought about the post it note on my wall that said I love you, Kris Wu.

….Do I really?

✎Author's note 

❝  Now I'm questioning the "I love you, Kris Wu" title. Hm...What do you guys think?

Find me on instagram: @heyitsivysaur

Anyone wanna give me karma? I'm trying to win a bid lol ❞