-''Hyung, you look really good. You should wear them.''

      I said, and took a look at the mirror. I looked good too, I guess. It had been 3 months since we debuted with 'Lucifer' and it was our 4th intwerview - live performance. People got to know us, Shinee knew each other well though Key never talked much. He was in all black again as usual but unlike him, the rest of Shinee was colorful. Especially me, I was wearing a purple vest, pink shirt and a blue pair of jeans. Oh c'mon, I already look too girly. What's wrong with our stylist? ''Last 7 minutes, boys.'' Manager shouted.

-''We're ready, hyung.''

-''Boys, you all should look nice. Dance well, relax and don't look awkward, okay? I'll watch you guys over here.''

    After Onew fixed his hair and turned to face us, Himchan hyung already had got out of the backstage. Then we heard the voice of MC woman, ''Aaaand, say hello to new rookie group Shinee!''  We all quickly looked at the mirror for the last time and walked towards her, smiling and waving at the fans. I must have been used to applause but it still felt weird. I stood between Minho and Onew, at the same moment our song 'Lucifer' started playing. All of the confusing&annoying  thoughts in my mind suddenly disappeared and I lost myself to the dance.

     A couple of minutes passed, we finished the song. I was sweating all over but it worth, doesn't it? Because every single one of our moves had to look perfect on the TV. I slowly grabbed my microphone and sat between Key and Jonghyun. Onew and Minho were standing behind us.

-''Hi boys! God, stage was about to burn out, what an amazing performance!''

-''We're working for it, thanks.''

-''I can say you got good results. Shinee is too good to be rookies! Even your fans sent us a lot of questions. Let's start with them. Uhm.. Who is the leader?''

-''Leader is Onew hyung.''

-''Who talks the most?''

-''Everyone but Key.''

-''Who is the dirtiest member?''

            I slowly raised my hand with a little laugh.

-''Who is the most clean?''

-''Me. Maybe that's because I'm the leader and I want everything to be perfect.''

-''Taemin, what is the bad side of being maknae?''

-''Actually, there's no bad side. Everyone tries to protect me.''

-''You should use only a word to describe members. Let's play it.''

              And since the interview started, Kim Kibum finally spoke out for the first time, ''Minho is tall, Onew is protective, Jonghyun is cool, Taemin is cute.'' So Key thinks that I'm cute, huh?

-''What about Key? Which word would you guys use to describe him?''

-''I'd say 'dark'.''

                It really didn't happen on purpose but after Jonghyun's answer, I found myself whispering ''y..'' Then Key turned to me, looked into my eyes and smirked. When everyone else turned to us with shocked faces, I realised what was happening. What the had I just said?

-''Yeah he looks y. So who is the main dancer?''

-''Taemin.''

-''He always dances, whenever I see him. All the time!''

-''Wow seems like dance is his passion?''

-''And Minho's passion is touching Taemin and smiling when he is around.''

-''There's some romance between Taemin and Minho? It's hot!''

              I suddenly shouted, ''No!'' It was kinda embarrassed.. though I liked it.

-''You don't want someone to misunderstand, huh?''

-''No, just... What is the next question?''

                 I was planning to kill MC if she keep giggling.

-''Will Shinee do skinship?''

                ''Yeaaaaah.'' I heard Key said, with a defiant&amused look on his face. We talked for about a hour, thankfully no more embarassed and awkward questions. Then she said ''Here's the other roockie band Exo, tell them hi!'' and we walked to backstage again. I saw Luhan and called for him but he probably didn't hear me. I wore my usual clothes and turned back to dorm after and watching the live performance and interview of Exo. Man, I really missed Luhan.

                                                       ___________________________________________________________

-''But Taemin oppaa~''

-''No, he will eat with me, kekeke..''

-''Oppaa~''

-''Uhm look, I'm gonna eat with my friends.''

-''But oppa~, you always eat with them. You should eat with us today!''

-''They are waiting for me, let me go.''

-''No! You will eat with us.''

-''I'm sorry,  I have to go.''

              I grabbed my cup which had some chicken sauced ramen in and took a step back. But they kept giggling and walked to me. Closer, closer, closer..

-''Taemin oppa~!''

-''Stop it!''

             I turned around to see, refectory exit was the closest escape. I pushed my cup againts my chest, quickly walked outside, getting more anxious. Okay, I may be just a little famous, but I'm a human too. I don't even deserve that attention! I could just dance and some sing, that's all. Besides, I'm seriously talentless about running. I can officaly say it because was about to get caught. I shouted at them a lot of times to stop, but they probably didn't even hear me, or didn't even hear, I don't know.. I was used to them screaming my name, taking pictures (I even saw some of them yesterday) and stuff, but it was too much. Those girls were out of control! I ran almost all of the school garden, then saw the opened door of back garden. I was scared, but maybe I'd get rid of girls, huh? 'You don't know until you try', I thought. I was scared as hell, but decided to give it a try. I ran into the back garden.  But they kept running behind me. I saw that the way had separeted 3, I chose the left one and ran again, I was slightly starting to get tired.. Back garden was dark, like a scary forest though it was 11 at the morning (also our lunch time, but unfortunately I couldn't eat mine). They had to stop as soon as possible. I was breathless, and my ramen cup was burning my hand but it didn't care. I could still hear the giggles and footsteps of those fangirls. I ran some more meters, then passed to right after a wall. And at this moment, a big, black iron door suddenly opened. Someone quickly pulled me, he covered my mouth while I'm trying not to fall. He closed the door, then silent. It all had happened in just a second, but it took half of a minute for me to realise what the was going on. I knew who was behind me, because I could recognise his smell. It wasn't his perfume, his own skin smelt like a mix of chocolate and cigarette. His right hand was covering my mouth for me not to make any noise, his left hand wrapped around my waist. My shoulders were glued to his chest just because he is taller. I could feel his whole body, even fast heart-beats. Mine were even faster than his. My knees started shaking like crazy, my hands must be the same as them, because I dropped my ramen cup and it made the ground wet. Without  breaking the position, he leaned down to my ear and whispered. ''Don't move.''  How could I?! I already was about to die, I had never been that close to him before. And if my heart keep beating that fast, I'd probably found myself in a hospital room soon, even before my dance period! I guess I had to listen to footsteps of those girls and be happy because they weren't there anymore. But all I did was shaking and trying to breathe in Key's arms. ''They are gone.'' He realised the deep silent on the whole back garden and said in a soft voice. I was the one who pulled away first, he couldn't do it because his back was pressed againts the wall, just like how I was glued into his chest a few seconds earlier. ''Be careful.'' He said, after looking into my eyes and running his fingers though his perfectly styled brown hair. Then he opened the door again, getting out of the really dark room. I soundlessly watched him putting his hands into his pocket. It took like 10 seconds, I turned around to see where was I. It was the red-lighted room that the nerd team (those too hardworking ones) used to create poleroid photos. There was no light, but the room is pretty big and scary just like the rest of back garden. Instead of getting out of the room behind Key, I leaned my back on the wall and sat on the ground, crying.

-''Why are you making it harder? Why?..''

                   ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

            I was incredibly breathless, even more than I was in Key's arms.  But I kept dancing. I just wanted to dance forever, although I knew I wouldn't. Because I already needed a little break. Or else, I was going to die. My lungs were dying.  I had been dancing for 2 hours in the dance studio without any breaks, I hadn't stop yet. 'I shouldn't stop.' Circus by Britney Spears was now playing. And it was too loud. Since I started getting bullied when I was 12, all I have done is dancing. Whenever those boys hit me, called me names, or something else that would hurt me, I ran to home crying and locked myself in my room, playing a song as loud as possible, and danced, danced,danced. Because when you feel the rhythm in your veins, when you dance, all of these thoughts go away, everything in your mind diseppears. All you can think is what moves should you do, how should you do them and feeling the song in your soul. Now, I had locked myself again. This time not in my room, in the dance studio that SM Entertrainment gave us to pratice our choreographies. And I was about to cry from anger and temper. How could a person like 2 people?  How could I get stuck between Minho and Key, how could I have feelings for both of them?! , how selfish and stupid I am.. They were not even gay (at least that was what I thought). Someone kept calling and texting me, that cut my song off a little but I didn't care. 'You shouldn't stop, Taemin. Or you will think of Key or Minho, and how ing stupid you are.' And I did what the monster inside of my head just said. 'I can't breathe..'  I didn't stop, because I knew if I do, everything would get even worse. And I didn't want to start cutting my skin, again. It had been almost 3 hours at the total, I was seriously dying. No, don't stop dancing. Don't think about the warmth of Key's arms. Don't think of how Minho kissed your cheecks this morning. Don't ing think. Guess what? I kept dancing.. Until I heard his familiar voice.

-''Stop it, Taemin, please. Or else you will die.''

         That was the moment I broke down. I couldn't think of anything else and harshly fell down on my knees and let out a scream of pain I felt on my knees and lungs. Minho, who was leaning his back on the wall a few seconds earlier, quickly ran to me. I was able to see the fear in his eyes. (The fear I also saw in my mom's eyes when we crashed our car against another car and my dad died.) Minho tried to make me stand up but there was a problem, I couldn't do it. So he took a deep breathe and lifted me up bridal style. No, I shouldn't let him touch me. I wanted to ask him how could he know I was in the dance studio, or was it him who was calling me a couple minutes ago, or how could he manage to carry my weight.. But I couldn't do anything but whisper '''No, don't touch me. You're making it worse..''  I just let him lift me up, get out of the dance studio, call for a taxi, and take me back to dorm.

              ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-''Taemin, I'm going to get some painkillers. Do you want or need anything else?''

-''Not really.. Thanks, hyung.''

         I answered, and Onew got out of our room. Minho and Jonghyun was sitting on the floor and cheering me up.

-''Are you a bit better, Minnie?''

-''Yeah, Minho hyung. Thank you for everything.''

-''You knew you shouldn't dance when you are angry. Why did you?''

-''It's.. Uhm.. I...''

-''It's okay, Just don't let it happen again.''

-''I hope you will get better soon.''

-''Me too.''

-''I'm declaring war!''

         Jonghyun shouted and started to mess my hair up, then Minho leaned down and pinched my cheecks.

-''Hey! I'm hurt and you hyungs are doing it, huh?''

-''But you are so cute even when you are in pain! It's your fault.''

             Minho said, and kissed my cheeck again. Damn. No.

-''Little Taemin looks sleepy, doesn't he?''

-''I think we should let him rest anymore.''

-''Well, goodnight Taem.''

-''Goodnight Minnie, text me when you feel bad, okay?''

-''Okay, goodnight hyungs.''

          They got out, Onew hyung turned back about 30 minutes later and gave me painkillers. I took them and laid down in my bed. It was pretty warm and comfortable, but I couldn't sleep no matter what. Was it insomnia or something? I even tried to read a book and draw, but failed and turned back to bed again.

-''Hey..''

     Someone was knocking my door.

-''Hey?''

-''It's Key, let me in.''

     Key?

-''Sure, come here.''

        He slowly opened the door and walked in, coming closer and sitting on the edge of my bed. We both crossed our legs on sheets. After thinking (or something, who knows what's inside Kibum's head) for a while, he finally decided to speak out.

-''Uhm.. I.. Thought of it, a lot. And came here. Because you are my group mate and I got sad when I heard you're in pain..''

-''Thanks, Key hyung.'' 

    I stared at him for a long time. His hair was messy (that bed hair, you know), his eyes were kinda reddish, and he looked really sleepy like he just woke up. His skin was too pale like a vampire, but still matched his hair perfectly. He seemed seriously different like another person, he wasn't even wearing black. A baggy blue pant with purple shirt, and some bracelets on his left wrist. Key slowly got closer to my face an whispered with a defiant look, ''I'll kill you if you can't perform next week.'' I must have looked stupid and scared, so he just laughed and ran his fingers though his hair. God, it was the first time I saw him laughing. It was the first time I saw him like this, not dark like hell. It was the first time I saw his theeth and lively eyes. "I'm just joking" I even wondered if I was dreaming or not. I secretly digged my nails into my arm to make sure I was awake. But Key was real. And he smiled after laughing for a while, placing his hand on mine and saying  ''I hope you get better as soon as possible. Goodnight.'' He stood up, waved at me and got out of the room. I still can't believe it but he was.. 'cute'. Not dark as usual. I quickly took a look at Onew, (because you know, he'd kill me if he saw how close I was with Key), turning my lights off and pulling my blankets over my head, 'Everything's getting worse..'