The Harsh Reality 

                           Luhan Pov

    I stood alone…in a shadow where I could hear the screams and the whispers of my family and friends. They were calling for me and asking me to come home. 

    I could see Jiao's face in front of me. She had been crying. Her eyes puffy and red. 

   "Why did you let me die Luhan? You said you would protect me. You said I was safe with you. Why did you lie?" I reached out for her but it seems she's going further away. 

  Please God…please don't do this anymore…

   
         ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

    Luhan's fantasy quickly turned to dark night mares. His perfect little place of comfort was a configuration of evil. 

   The more he begged and pleaded for Junmyeon to take Baby Lu and run, the more the two fought back. They promised they wouldn't leave till he was ready. No matter how hard this world gets. But what they didn't tell him was worse.

   Once you re-enter someone's purgatory and die, your soul is lost. No remains, no second chance. You're gone.

   Junmyeon fought with Luhan. Yelling at him to let go of his guilty and his regret. There is nothing he can do now but move forward. But Luhan just couldn't…he couldn't let go of Jiao. She was all he had…

   It was like living in a haunted house. The three were in fear. These memories weren't after Junmyeon…he was safe.

   But since Baby Lu is just an extension of Luhan himself, all the pain Luhan felt, Baby Lu felt. All the fear and the tears…went to Baby Lu as well.

   The only safe place for them was their balcony where Baby Lu was currently curled up asleep. 

   "Luhan come here." Junmyeon called. He was standing by the front door, just staring.

   "I'm not going out there again. Not yet I just can't…it's to much." Junmyeon shook his head. 

   "I know it's hard Luhan. Mine was just as bad. But you have to. Please Baby Lu is who I'm worried about. Just try." Junmyeon begged. He turned to Luhan who finally realized he had been crying. 

   With a sigh, he slowly crept towards the door. He was beginning to shake. 

   "Hyung! Wait!" Baby Lu called. He ran from the balcony to the front door, throwing his arms around Luhan's leg.

   "Come back ok?" Luhan caressed the boys hair lightly.

   "I will don't worry, when I get back this will all be over ok?" The little boy nodded. He unwillingly let go. He went to Junmyeon and raised his arms, giving the sign he wanted to be carried. Junmyeon lifted the boy and held him to his chest. 

       ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

 I wanted to hide but I couldn't anymore. I just opened the door and walked out. 

 "Junmyeon, it's looks way to normal-" 

   The door slammed behind me hard. I turned and everything went black.

   Then a single spot light hit me. I turned around again. 

   I could see Jiao…on the floor struggling. And me…helplessly struggling to get to her.

   I'm reliving this scene…only the wasn't that son of a . 

   It was me…

   I repeatedly hit the sides of my head to get the memory to leave me alone. 

   "Stop it please!!" I jumped out to grab Jiao, only to find the vision had vanished and I was on the floor. A wooden floor.

   I was on wood floor of my house. I stood up and looked around. It seems normal enough. 

   My parents came through the door. They were wearing black. They must have come home from the funeral. 

   "I don't care who she was! Why did you give her those rings! They were Luhan's! You had no right!" She hit my dad's chest hard.

   "I don't care! Luhan bought them for her! You wouldn't know would you?! You don't know anything about our son besides the fact you wanted him to date some hooker! He came to me for everything and I know he would have wanted her to have them. He wanted to marry her! You took that away! Did you hear her statement to the police?! She said they were arguing about what you said to her. When she left after Luhan begged her to stay, she was jumped by those thugs and !! They killed him! He was being a heroic man risking his life for her, being the man I taught him to be! This wouldn't have happened if you didn't yell at him for being in love! This is all your fault! You killed our son!"

   Their argument went on and on all through the house till mom finally grabbed her things and said

   "I want a divorce. I'll be meeting with lawyers. You should do the same."

   Then she left…and I was falling again. 

   My feet hit the floor again but there was nothing, only black. It was just dark. But suddenly it started to fade and turn into open sky and in front of me was a carnival. 

   Jiao was there. In her beautiful neon pink, orange and white thin spaghetti strap dress. It ruffled a tinny bit at the bottom and she had these cute white sneaker shoes I bought her and her hair was pulled back in a pony tail. She was looking right at me…

   "Luhan…you ok?" She asked and poked my shoulder. Was this real?

   "Jiao?" I went to touch her cheek and I could feel the smooth skin underneath my fingertips. It was her. I ran my thumb over her lips and they were soft like I remember. Her blush was the same and her shy smile whenever I touch her in public.

   "Wow…don't feel me up in public it's embarrassing." She giggled. Before she could start walking, I quickly pulled her in for a kiss. 

   Her lips we as soft as rose petals and tasted like strawberry bubble tea. The same as I remember. 

   "What's with you today. You act like you haven't seen me in years." I could cry right now. I hugged her.

   "You have no idea." 

   The fun and laughter around us froze. Like time stopped.

   "You can't stay?" She asked with her head hung low.

   "I can't…this isn't real…" 

    "I know…but for just one more minute, can we pretend it is?"

   We stopped our word exchange. We knew this was all we needed. I brushed her hair behind her ear and behind her shoulder. I brushed my fingertips over her collar bone then up her delicious neck. 

   I leaned down and left gentle kisses on her neck, then up to her jaw line. Her breathing hitched and she let out a tiny sigh.

   I left a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose before moving to her lips. They moved together easily and smooth. Like two final pieces of a puzzle. They match and complete a tinny piece of happiness. 

   "This is our final good bye." 

   As I wrapped my arms around her and she did the same, I could feel her heart beating. As the last good bye slipped from her lips…she was gone.

   As I stood there in total darkness, I could hear voices. 

   Jiao's screams, those blood curtailing laughs of those evil bastards, and crying…so much crying. 

   I covered my ears. I can't listen to this anymore. Why did God send me here? 

   "Why did you let me die Luhan? You said you would protect me. You said I was safe with you. Why did you lie?" I could see her crying. 

   "He gave you to me. You were mine from the start." That's his voice. That's that son of a . I turned to see him smirking at me. I balled my fist in anger and leapt at him. Before I could swing, he was gone.

   "What could you have done honestly? Fight me? Who do you think would have won? You against 5 armed men that are way bigger then you? I break guys like you and have no trouble sleeping at night. I have been up against things you wouldn't imagine and you think you'd win in a fight with me? Come on take a shot. I won't stop you."

   With out hesitating, I swung my fist. He moved to the right, dodging my hit. He elbowed me hard in my back, knocking me down.

   Once I hit the floor, I hit the concrete. It was the sidewalk. Like we were back in that awful place again.

   "Get up you little ! This is what you wanted right? A chance to get back at me for taking your ? Get off the ground you Chinese piece of !" He grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me into the gate. 

   "My boys aren't even here, looks like I don't need them to kick your . Your a weak little talking who obviously didn't deserve that cutie." With one swift kick, he kicked me in the stomach. I toppled over and coughed.

   "Should I tell you about how tight your girl was? Or should I tell you about how she clenched around me as I ed her hard?" He landed another good kick in my side and I could feel the blood fall from my lips.

   "No matter how you look at it, she enjoyed it. She was a , man they get wet so fast. Let me tell you, you really missed out not ing that one. Your probably a too aren't you. No wonder she enjoyed being handled by a real man." I managed to get to my feet. Stumbling but I got up and looked at him.

   "You must not have had a girlfriend before. They all probably realized you were a true scum bag and got disgusted. That's why you are this ed up in the head…or maybe you just ate to many paint chips as a child. No matter what, you keep fighting for her. You go beyond your limits to protect her and even when you have nothing left to give, you go harder because you love her. I did what I could for her and I went beyond myself. You wouldn't understand that. Don't question me. Right now…I'm the man and you're the whining ." With out knowing. He moved closer and landed an easy head . My nose bled and I fell back wards on the ground again. 

   "Say it again! You chinese scum." It became hard to breathe. I fought the urge to pass out. Even though I'm dead…the pain makes me feel alive again. I'm fighting for the one thing that matters in my heart. And that's my Jiao.

   "You can't hurt me anymore…" 

   He climbed over me. He just stared at me like I was some kind of ant clinging to life.

   "You can punch me, kick me, stab me, or even shoot me in the back like a coward. I'm not gonna stop fighting…that's how god made me. I know now…this isn't his fault." His huge size 12 boot came down like a bolder on my chest. Knocking the air out of me.

   "You're the one floor! I'm bigger and stronger then you! I'm not the one crawling on the floor like a cockroach! In the end I win! I always win!" 

   He grabbed me by my shirt and just repeatedly punched me until he was tired out. He shouted at me and dropped me down again. With my last drops of strength…I spoke.

   "Even through all this…I don't hate you…all I can do is feel bad for you. It is so painful but if I don't get this out…I'll never leave. With my last bit of strength…I forgive you for everything. I forgive you…" 

   When I out…I didn't know what happened. When I opened my eyes again I was staring at a huge white light. 

   I stood from the small silver bench I was laying on. It was a rather beautiful bench but once I stopped staring at it, I noticed that I was back in the open field. It wasn't distorted or terrifying anymore. It was like when I first arrived, beautiful.

   I ran to the cabin as fast as my legs would go. 

   "Baby Lu! Junmyeon!" I burst through the door shouting. Once I got the chance to look around, the cabin was empty. Like some one packed up everything and just moved out. I immediately ran to the balcony and opened the doors. 

   I could see the cherry blossom tree in the distance. It was different this time. 

   It was still the beach and still had the sunset but if I look close I could see the tree. 

   I clicked open the small latch on the gate walked down the small steps. As I walked down the sand and got to the water. I in a breath. 

   I didn't go any deeper. I was walking over the water like I was walking down the street. I smiled to myself. I started to run…and run I did. It was like my heart was full of pure joy and relief. 

   When I got there I saw Baby Lu on a swing laughing with Junmyeon behind him pushing him higher. 

   "Luhan!!" Baby Lu shouted as he jumped off the swing. I picked him up and hugged him.

   "I knew you'd come back. We'd be gone if you didn't come back." I kissed his cheek.

   "I'm here Lu. Don't worry, we're going home now ok." Junmyeon took my hand.

   "We need to go now. This world is gonna collapse soon, it's not meant for is us to stay. You ready Luhan?" After taking a deep breath I nodded. Baby Lu squirmed out of my grip on to the floor.

   "I'll lead us!" He said running ahead. Me and Junmyeon followed after. 

   The light was brighter and warmer then anything I've ever felt. 

   I realized, it was like being home in Beijing just much cleaner and more tranquil. It was split between the city and the kingdom of God. In the kingdom was where God and the guardians lived. Mostly the fighters and the saints. Mary too. She liked to come down to the city a lot though. She said it was more peaceful. Easier to let the men do the dirty work she would say. It made me laugh. She came with me after I arrived and brought me to a mountain. We just sat and talked. 
 
   The pond was my favorite spot. It was like a mirror into another world. All I had to do was think of where I wanted to go and I was there. 

   Miracles do exist and life after death is no sham or trick. I was told that freedom and religion are life's biggest lies. But the biggest lie is believing there is nothing to live for. Everyone experiences their heaven differently based on their life on Earth. What you can think of beyond your imagination is at your fingertips. You can't have it all but this is a close second.

Authors Note: I think these past two chapters have been my favorite to write so far. Now I'm gonna start writing the song that helped me write the chapters. In case anyone was curious, yes I do believe in God and the bible and I believe that Jesus is our savior. But I do believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want and interpret things on there own. I believe in my religion strongly but I like to hear other interpretations and thoughts on where things come from and things of that nature. I enjoy watching science documentaries about life and seeing where science and religion collide. I think God gave everyone a voice and a mind to think for ourselves. It's called free will which is something we are given from the start. That is my belief. Hope you guys liked it. Don't forget to comment and upvote.

Special thanks to subscribers:

 Dubuu12 
For helping me out during my melt down point. I thank you for your comment. I enjoy having subscribers like you.

 Nina3132
I don't know what to say besides the fact I wish I knew you in person. Like I said in our conversation in my blog, I don't fully trust many people but I seem to have this sense of trust for you. Thank you so much. Thank you for being a friend to me. 

This chapter is dedicated to you two amazing subbies.
  

Inspirations:

 Linda Perry- Letters to God
 Justin Timberlake- Blue Ocean Floor