"How could she do this to you now?" Sunny said exasperatedly. "After everything that's just happened?"

Yuri was on her knees on the couch next to where Yoona was lying, holding her hands tightly in hers.

"Let's not... jump to any conclusions. We have no idea what she was thinking." Yoona let her eyes open slightly, hearing Taeyeon's words but not fully understanding them. She wondered for a moment if she had fallen asleep, but then she realized she must have out, and judging by the way none of the other girls had panicked, they probably hadn't realized it.

"Right, let's try to put ourselves in her situation," Tiffany agreed, standing up from the couch. Taeyeon watched her carefully from where she was sitting. "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

Yoona raised herself up on her elbows and struggled to remember the conversation she had had just a few minutes ago - hopefully - but it was like what she imagined an alcohol related memory loss would be like. Bits and pieces came rushing back one by one, but it felt like memories from another lifetime.

"She... She thinks staying together is disrespectful to Sungmin," she said, remembering almost as she spoke the words. A sharp, glassy pain entered her head and seemed to spread through her body, because Seohyun had really left. She suddenly remembered I'm going to go home and the words echoed through her mind, so she looked around and saw that it was true. Seohyun wasn't there. All of that had really happened.

"But that's stupid," Jessica stated from where she was standing on the other side of the coffee table, right next to Sunny. Tiffany and Yuri both shot her a death glare. "I mean... isn't it?" Jessica added, turning to Yoona.

The younger of the two leaned her head against the backrest and closed her eyes again. She agreed with Jessica's words, and she felt anger brew in the pit of her stomach, threatening to rise up but being kept down by her own exhaustion. "I understand her," she said, happily noting that she didn't seem to have any more tears to cry. "I don't agree, but I understand her."

Tiffany fidgeted with her hands where she stood, and Yuri scanned her thoughtfully from top to toe. "Do you want some ice cream?" Tiffany asked then, and Yoona almost mustered a smile.

"Not now, Fany. Thanks."

"Look... Seohyun probably feels ashamed of what happened, and I don't blame her. She's as shocked as... Well, probably not as shocked as you, but definitely up there. This doesn't mean it's over forever," Tiffany said in an attempt to be encouraging. "Don't you think, Tae?"

Taeyeon looked between Tiffany and Yoona a few times, and Yoona felt sorry for the other girl again. "I do," Taeyeon said, voice hoarse. "She needs to feel better about herself. She needs to remember that she's not to blame for... what happened."

Yoona gave a sad smile, looking down to her lap. No, it was true, she thought, Seohyun was not at fault. Yoona herself was. And no matter what the others tried to say, that feeling wouldn't ever go away. She knew it. "I wouldn't be surprised if she ran as far away from me as possible," she said, words light despite the heavy feeling.

Yuri stood up, and Tiffany sat down in her place. "She has feelings for you. They're just overshadowed by the shock right now. They'll shine through again soon." Yoona didn't even try to smile, because what good could she give Seohyun from now on?

"Yeah," she breathed, not knowing what to hope.

Tiffany smiled at her, a smile that looked far from genuine, and pulled her fingers through Yoona's hair. "You'll be okay, right?" she said softly. Yoona's stomach turned at the thought of being left alone again, of being allowed to think freely without anyone else's input. There was nothing positive in her mind to be fetched. So she gave the response closest to the truth that she could manage, and shrugged. "Just remember that all seven of us are here for you, and we're not going anywhere."

Yoona didn't know who Tiffany excluded from the group, Seohyun or Hyoyeon, but she didn't want to know. Nodding tiredly, she closed her eyes again, relishing Tiffany's touch, only to pout when her warm hand was suddenly withdrawn.

"I don't know about you guys, but I would definitely go for some ice cream right now," the girl said, standing up from the couch.

"You're going to turn into a walking ice cream pack," Sooyoung dead-panned.

"Pfft," Tiffany replied, "if I do, I'll happily give myself up as a snack for you all. Everybody's happy." She turned to walk towards the kitchen, but Taeyeon stood up in front of her.

"I'll get it," she said nervously, already stumbling off towards the kitchen.

Tiffany smiled widely at her, even though Taeyeon didn't return it. The eldest had made it to the doorway when Tiffany spoke again. "Wait..." she said, and Taeyeon froze in her actions. "Do you... Would you like to light a candle for Sungmin?" Tiffany asked, turning to Yoona. "I mean, if it would make you feel better."

Yoona nodded; the thought had been present in her mind for days, but she had never quite mustered up the strength to ask her parents for a candle, or even worse, get one herself. Trust Tiffany to know her like nobody else, she thought, and tried to smile again. Unsuccessfully. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."

"I'll go with you then," Tiffany said, nodding at Taeyeon, and the two left the room together.

"Do you know where to find everything?" Tiffany asked as they walked into the kitchen.

Taeyeon nodded, feeling like any words she'd try to say would fail her. Her legs felt like cooked spaghetti, and she was slightly light-headed with confusion and hurt. How had her life changed like this? Everything seemed so far gone that she couldn't recognize or remember how she had used to feel. She didn't know herself anymore. Walking over to the freezer to get the ice cream pack, she was overwhelmed with her own need to be selfish, and her disgust at herself for being so self-centered. Her life wasn't the only one that had changed; just look at Sooyoung's. Yoona's. Seohyun's. Even Yuri's and Jessica's, as it seemed.

Just look at Sungmin's.

"I'm sorry I keep dragging you into the whole Yoona/Seohyun thing," Tiffany said from a few meters away, rummaging through one of the kitchen cabinets for a candle. Taeyeon jerked in surprise; she hadn't noticed Tiffany leaving her side. "It's just, you know Seohyun better than I do."

"It's okay," Taeyeon replied, closing the door to the freezer and walking over to where Tiffany was standing to get some bowls. "God, if anything, I'm happy to help. I'm just not very... good with the whole... comforting thing. That's your territory."

Tiffany picked out a candle with such a triumphant look on her face that Taeyeon had to look away to keep from smiling. "You're better than you think you are, Taeyeon. Believe in yourself a little, would you?"

Taeyeon smiled dejectedly. "I'll try."

"I hope it's okay with you. You know, that they're all here. After everything that's happened."

Taeyeon used spoons as an excuse to walk away from Tiffany's side and perhaps lessen the fluttering of the butterflies in her stomach a little. "Of course," she said dismissively. "I mean, it's your home and all."

Tiffany leaned against the counter, a smile on her face and a packet of matches in her hand; an image Taeyeon would remembered for the rest of her life. "It's your home too, if you want it to be," she said softly. Taeyeon froze in her tracks by the utensil drawer, seven spoons in her hand and her heart in . She waited, thinking Tiffany would say something more, add "for now" or something to that effect, but she didn't.

So Taeyeon looked away, cleared and said: "That means a lot to me", tightening and loosening her hold on the spoons in time with her racing heartbeat. After a few seconds of silence, Taeyeon looked up to the other girl's face again, but Tiffany made no move to go back into the living room. Until they heard Sooyoung's steadily raising voice.

"Guys!" she cried, and Taeyeon and Tiffany were pushed out of their trance. They frowned at each other. Taeyeon was just about to call back when Sooyoung yelled again, "Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys guys guys guys guys guys guys...", the volume of her voice rising with every syllable until it was a bloodcurdling scream, and the muffled sound of footfalls against the living room carpet reached their ears.

"What?!" Tiffany yelled back and started running. Taeyeon threw the spoons up on the kitchen counter, where they scattered with a painfully loud clatter, lost on Taeyeon's ears. What in the world could have happened to make Sooyoung so hysterical? Could there really be more unpleasantries in store for them after all?

They made it into the living room in five short seconds, and they stumbled in only to find the five of them curled up closely together on the couch, all staring down at Sooyoung's cellphone, while Sooyoung herself was clutching it tightly, tears pouring down her face.

"What's going on?" Taeyeon breathed, panic boiling in her chest.

"Hyoyeon... Hyoyeon texted," Yuri said, jumping up from the couch to leave room for the newcomers.

"What?!" Tiffany cried, grabbing Taeyeon's arm and running over to the couch. Sooyoung held out her phone, and Tiffany pulled it out of her hand in a millisecond. Taeyeon saw over Tiffany's shoulder how Sooyoung buried her face in her hands, Yoona instantly wrapping her arms around her, and her heart ached to go over and comfort her friend. But curiosity got the better of her, so she followed Tiffany's example and read the text.

Recipient: Sooyoung
Sender: Siwon
Hi, soo. I just wanted to let you know i'm alive, and i'm ok. It's hard to get enough food sometimes, but not so hard that i can't handle it. I hope you're ok too. I don't think about you much, because if I do, I know I'll go crazy in the blink of an eye, but know that i miss you a lot. And i hope it's not mutual. Anyway, it seems like i'll be ok like this, so don't go crazy worrying, ok? I might check in again sometime. But probably not for a while.
oh, and please don't harass the poor guy whose phone i'm using – it seems like you two know each other? He bought me a meal and was nothing but kind to me. Please respect my decision. ♥

Taeyeon barely had time to finish reading before Tiffany said "Call the number!" and pulled one of Sooyoung's hands away from her face, stuffing the phone into it. "Hurry!"

"I... I..." Sooyoung said, for once left without knowing what to say. She stared at the display with wide, teary eyes, paralyzed.

"Oh, for Christ sake," Sunny said, snatching the phone out of Sooyoung's hands and stood up from the couch. She pressed 'Call' without a second thought, and put the phone to her ear. Tiffany walked over to the table and put down the candle she had been holding, while handing the matches to Yoona.

They waited in silence as the signals rang, all too nervous to even let their breaths out. Yoona opened the pack with shaking hands, but failed to light a match. After a few clumsy attempts, Sooyoung took her hand, and soon a tiny flame rose.

"Choi Siwon," came a man's dark voice from the phone, which Sunny had set to speaker.

"Hello?" she said a little too loudly.

"Yes, hello, who is this?"

"Uhm..." Sunny said, obviously not having thought the call through in the slightest. "My friend just received a text from this number."

"Ah, yes. You're a friend of Hyoyeon's?"

"Yes," Sunny said, "Is she there with you?"

"Not anymore, no," Siwon replied apologetically. "We parted ways a while ago. She made me promise to send the text after the lot of you would have no means of contacting her anymore."

"But where..." Sunny stuttered, "where did you meet her?"

A pause, and then the name of a city far south, so far south, rang out in Siwon's voice. The girls all looked each other in stunned surprise, and Taeyeon felt something like excitement rising in her stomach. She glanced at Sooyoung, who looked like she was about to pass out. "She's not here anymore, though," Siwon continued, and the world fell apart again. "I don't know where she's headed off to. She wouldn't tell me, because she doesn't want to be found."

Taeyeon felt like she couldn't breathe, and Sooyoung wasn't moving. "How..." Sunny panted, her eyes showing such anger that she didn't know how to form words. "How could you just let her go?!"

"Like I said," Siwon said calmly, "she doesn't want to be found."

"It's alright, Sunny," Sooyoung said before the other girl had a chance to say anything else. "She said to respect her decision."

Sunny stared at her friend in disbelief. "Are you really going to buy that again?"

"I assure you, she has help."

"From who?" Sunny said, still with her eyes fixed on Sooyoung.

Siwon didn't answer immediately. "Friends."

Sooyoung reached out and took the phone from Sunny. "But... but she's okay?" she said, tears flowing. "She's alright?"

"Sooyoung, is that you?" Siwon said after a beat. "It's nice to hear your voice again. And yes, Hyoyeon is fine."

"And you saw her? How did she look?"

"She looked... tired. But she's better now."

Sooyoung sniffled, but her face changed into an expression of great relief as she stared down onto the unknown number on the display. "She said you bought her a meal."

"I did."

"Thank you." A tear dropped on to the phone, and she wiped it away with care.

Siwon chuckled. "It's what any man would have done."

"Believe me, it isn't," Sooyoung said, shaking her head even though he couldn't see her. It made the corners of Taeyeon's mouth twist upwards.

Neither spoke for a while, and then Siwon said: "Feel free to call me if you ever want to ask anything. But I wouldn't worry about her too much. She's doing fine."

"I... I will," Sooyoung replied. "But you understand that I'm going to have to inform the police about this, right?"

"Naturally." A pause, and a hint of a nostalgic smile showed on Sooyoung's face, the one that can only come from talking to an old friend. "It was nice hearing from you, Sooyoung, even though the circumstances could have been... better."

Sooyoung gave a sound that sounded like something between a laugh and a sob. "You too," she choked. "We'll talk more soon," she said then, hesitated, and finally hung up.

Taeyeon didn't know if she felt relieved or even more worried than before. She had expected Sooyoung's tears to pour even heavier once the call had ended, but they didn't. They stopped. The tallest stared down at her phone with such calm that Taeyeon had to wonder if she was at all conscious anymore. She walked over to the couch and sat down heavily beside her, and the rest of the girls did the same.

"We should call the police. Now," Sunny said as she reluctantly sat down beside Taeyeon.

Sooyoung didn't look up at her. "She’s already left," she said simply. “We’re too late. I’ll call, soon, but I have to breathe for a second first.” Sunny looked like she was about to argue for a few moments more, but then Jessica sat down beside her and put a calming hand on her arm, silencing her.

None of them knew what to say, so they sat together on the couch in silence. They watched the flame of Sungmin's candle dance, and knew that even if some things were lost, some could still be saved.

Siwon sat up straight and lowered his phone while Hyoyeon inched away from him. "Was that alright?" he asked, and Hyoyeon nodded.

"That was great." Tears ran silently down her face, the effect she knew hearing that voice would have on her. "That was great."




They decided that Yoona would stay over at Yuri's for the night, while Sooyoung would stay with Taeyeon and Tiffany. The tallest had entered a state of almost catatonia that neither Taeyeon nor Tiffany felt comfortable leaving her in. The other girl accepted their fussing without much protest.

Tiffany was just about to drive Yoona, Yuri, Sunny and Jessica home when Yuri pulled Jessica to the side.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked with forced casualty.

"Sure," Jessica replied without looking at her. Instead she glanced at Sunny, who looked back at her, emptied of emotion. Yuri and Jessica walked out the door into the darkness, and the others remained in the hallway to wait for the two to return.

"Call Seohyun for me, will you?" Yoona asked Tiffany, taking her hands. She looked worse than any of the girls had ever seen her; there were dark rings far beneath her eyes and her skin was dry from too much crying. Knowing Yuri would be with her gave Taeyeon a huge deal of comfort.

"Of course," Tiffany said, squeezing her hands.

"Don't mention me," Yoona said with a hint of a smile, "just check in on her. Make sure she won't do anything stupid."

Tiffany shook her head. "Seohyunnie would never do that."

Right, Yoona thought, and other things Seohyunnie would never do according to the world included Have a Boyfriend, Sleep with Someone, Be ually Abused, etc. For a moment there was nothing but chaos in Yoona's mind, and she let Tiffany's hands go.

Yuri stumbled down the steps as soon as the two walked outside, while Jessica remained leaning against the door, not wanting to get any closer to Yuri. After the night's emotional turmoil, she had no idea what she wanted. Part of her wanted to curl up in Yuri's embrace and be comforted like so many times before, but she knew that wasn't an option. Sunny's arms were a better choice now; Sunny who she hadn't yet put through a horrible deception.  

"Are you never going to talk to me again?" Yuri said, staring up at Jessica with open arms. "If you think things are wrong between us, nothing's going to change if we don't talk about it."

In the darkness, Jessica had a hard time making out Yuri's face. She was glad. "There's nothing to say."

"Oh, there are millions of things to say," Yuri said, and though she couldn't see her, Jessica could hear in her voice how upset she was. "Are you breaking up with me?"

There it was. A nice, open question, where all Jessica had to do was say and honest 'yes' or 'no'. And that was easy, right? But what was the true answer to that question?

It hit her that not even once had Yuri seemed to suspect Jessica had fallen in love with someone else. In that moment, she wished Yuri would have known, would have found out on her own somehow, just to make the decision so much easier. But Jessica could never tell her. That was out of the question.

"I..." she tried, but no words came out to finish her sentence. She didn't know the answer.

"It doesn't just affect you and me anymore, you know," Yuri said down from the darkness. "The girls are tense around us. They don't need that right now."

She knew that. Of course she knew that. But how could she take other people into account when she didn't even understand her own feelings? Why was it so hard for her to break up with Yuri? She had obviously settled for Sunny. Hadn't she?

Yuri stepped forward and placed a foot on the first step. Her face was clearer to Jessica, but she had to turn her face away. Couldn't look her in the eye. "God, Sica, why are you dragging this out? If you're going to leave me, then just..."

"I-I don't know," Jessica interrupted, unable to stand any more words from her girlfriend when there was so much pain to be felt in her voice. "I don't know... if there's anything of us left to be saved."

"But there is," Yuri said, and Jessica didn't have to look at her to know she was crying. "There's you, and there's me. We're still who we've always been. Please, Jessica... I don't want to live without you."

"We're not... what we've always been," Jessica replied, ignoring the last words Yuri had spoken. She refused to acknowledge them as truth. Yuri could only live happier without her, without a girlfriend who cheated and lied and put the blame where it did not belong. The winner of the lottery of love between Yuri and Sunny wasn't determined by who Jessica chose, but who she wouldn't choose. She was a horrible person, and she knew it from the bitter taste in the back of , but she wasn't selfless enough to live without their love. "You've changed... and so have I. This isn't going to work."

Yuri walked up the steps and stood right beside Jessica, and to the blonde’s relief she didn't try to touch her. "Jessica, please... Give me a chance to change your mind." Jessica looked away, cursing her lack of courage and trying to make it as obvious as she could that she wasn't interested. She wasn't interested in another chance, another try. Half of her had already moved on, and as much as she... thought she still loved Yuri, it was too late. "Please?" the younger said, trying to catch the other girl's eye. "Don't I deserve that? After all these years, Sica?"

"Fine," Jessica whispered, trying to stop herself from taking the easy way out, but not succeeding. What she needed most right then was to escape from their conversation, no matter how it turned out. "Just don't... get your hopes up. For anything."

Yuri didn't say anything for a while, and Jessica had to fight the overwhelming urge to look at her and see her expression. She didn't give in. "How can I not hope you'll stay with me?" Yuri said eventually. "You are, and have always been, the best thing in my life. And I will love you no matter what happens." The sobs sneaked into her voice and she started crying openly. Jessica didn't look, she didn't watch as Yuri's heart broke, but she thought her own was doing the same. And if she didn't care, why would it? The thought comforted her a little; maybe she wasn't the worst person on the planet after all, but the pain took away any relief the thought had brought.

Yuri eventually calmed down and wiped her tears. "One chance, that's all I ask. Just a few days. Alright?" she asked with her hand on the door handle. Jessica nodded, not looking into her girlfriend's eyes but seeing strays of her hair wet with tears. "Thank you." The door opened and Yuri disappeared inside, while Jessica stayed outside to wait for the others. Home seemed like a pretty damn good idea right then.




Tiffany swung by Yuri's place first, and the rest of the ride with just the three of them made Jessica feel calmer than she had in a long time. It seemed as if when Yuri and Yoona got out of the car, their pain did as well, much to the relief of Jessica's head. She wanted to be there for Yoona, but seeing her so trashed made her exhausted.

And trashing Yuri in the same way...

Tiffany dropped them off about halfway between Sunny's and Jessica's apartments, and the two stood still side by side, waving occasionally until Tiffany's car disappeared out of sight. Then, as if she was controlled by someone else, she found herself embracing the shorter girl beside her, smelling her hair and soaking in her warmth. Sunny responded by holding her tightly, her hands roamed her back, albeit more carefully than ever before. Jessica closed her eyes and bathed in Sunny's warm scent, knowing and understanding fully well that the other girl must be just as upset at Jessica herself felt.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and she was amazed with herself, that she at all cared right then, in her own emotional distress and exhaustion. She hadn't thought it possible, but it was. Sunny broke their hug and shook her head. "Wanna tell me?"

Sunny shifted her weight between her feet, tears already welling up in her eyes. "I'm upset... with Seohyun. And Yoona."

Jessica's eyes widened; she hadn't expected that. "For... for the whole Sungmin thing?"

But Sunny shook her head again. "No, of course not. It's just..." She bit her lip, something that previously had driven Jessica insane the times it happened, but not now. Slow tears were making their way down Sunny's cheeks, and Jessica reached out to wipe them away. "Seohyun is my best friend, but ever since Yoona came along, it's like... she's completely forgotten about me."

"I'm sure she hasn't forgotten you," Jessica said, rubbing Sunny's arm carefully as they stood together. She felt the insufficiency of her words, but she didn't know what else to say. Comforting people was always Yuri's thing, and they had always been a team.

"I know I shouldn't be upset with Yoona, especially not after all that's happened," Sunny continued and shook her head at Jessica's attempt to dry her tears, letting them fall. "But I can't..."

"H-hey," Jessica said, stepping in impossibly close to the other girl and her hair hesitantly. "It's only natural... for you to be jealous." Sunny stared at the ground, sobs breaking through the silence and darkness around them. "I mean... she means a lot to you and..." the taller of the two tried, but once again the words failed her. She realized Sunny must have been exhausted, too, to be acting like she did, and she wanted nothing else than to bring her home and put her to bed. And only for sleeping this time. If it would help. No matter what she needed, Jessica wanted to do it for her. "Please, Sunny, don't cry..."

Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when Sunny suddenly looked up at her, and the look in her eyes was so hurt that Jessica could almost feel the pain. "You don't get it, do you?" the shorter bit out between harsh breaths.

"What?" Jessica said, and didn't dare to protest as Sunny stepped out of her embrace.

"I've tried to be strong for you, but... it kills me. Seeing you with her." Sunny wiped her tears furiously, and Jessica could do nothing but watch in agony.

"I'm... breaking up with her," she choked out. "I promise you."

Sunny looked at her with something that resembled pity. "It's so easy for you to say that here, with just the two of us," she said. Jessica shook her head. "But when it comes down to it... I don't think you can."

"But I can," Jessica said, but Sunny ignored her.

"I'd wait for you forever if I had to," she continued, "but it really hurts. I can't deny it."

She turned around and started walking towards her apartment, and Jessica stayed where she was, watching her back as she left. She understood that Sunny didn't believe in her determination to break up with Yuri, but Jessica knew in her heart that she was ready. If that could make Sunny stop crying, then that was what she would do. Sunny's pain was the last push she needed to do what she should have done a long time ago, but how could she tell Sunny that?

When Sunny had disappeared out of sight, she turned and walked to her own home, and her heart ached for every one of her friends. Even Yuri. And for the first time since she'd moved out of their house, she wished she could speak to her parents.