Guilt was supposed to be a very powerful thing, and Sunny had always thought it to be bigger than most of the other colors of emotion. Anger, joy, jealousy, lust, sometimes even love.

But it wasn't true for her anymore, in a strange way that somehow confirmed it either way. She was supposed to feel guilty about everything. About pulling Jessica with her down into the basement of the school and kissing her while Yuri stood just a staircase away; about kissing her at all, or even thinking of doing it.

But she had done it, without many thoughts, and she didn't feel as guilty as she thought she should. And that was what she felt guilty about. She hadn't known it until she started trying to justify her actions to herself, but when she thought about it, it wasn't like she knew Yuri. Not really. They'd never met up outside of school, seeing it as Yuri never was around, and they'd never spent a moment alone together. Barely carried conversation between the two of them. So why was it that she should care so much?

But on the other hand, she thought, if someone would have come to her with the same problem, she would advise them to never get involved with somebody who's already taken. She knew that. What she was doing was despicable.

And somehow, because it was Jessica, it was different.

It had only been a few hours, half a day, since their episode in the basement, but something had changed in Sunny, she was sure. The thought of Jessica no longer brought with it a cold and apathetic joy mixed with a few bundles of rage, but instead gave her a sort of nervous anticipation. Not to mention the want and need that made her hands tremble.

She was also desperate to talk to somebody about what was happening. She felt bad, almost guilty for not having spoken to Seohyun, Taeyeon or Sooyoung about what she had been going through, but there was one thought that always came to her mental defense. She didn't want them to think less of her, and that was pretty much a guarantee. She'd had a moment of weakness the night before, and called Sooyoung – luckily, she thought, Sooyoung had been on her way to meet up with Hyoyeon (who would never come) and hadn't had time to listen to her confession. Great.

And now the fact that Hyoyeon had ran away, escaped, meant that Sunny would never have the heart to weigh Sooyoung down further with her problems. Seohyun was much too innocent to be able to offer her any comfort, she thought, and Taeyeon, who was all with the fumbling denial of her own gayness, would be too uncomfortable.

So yes, in a way she wanted to write it off on their disability to handle the news of Sunny's orientation and adventures with Jessica.

She would tell them soon enough, if only she could have Jessica on her side fully. At least then she would never be alone.

With the loss of Hyoyeon from their group - not that Sunny had had much time to get close to her - it all became too much for her. She'd been reluctant at first to call Line 49 and Jinjeong again, the thought of Jinjeong's strong and almost righteous personality turning her away from the thought. Sunny looked up to her, and all the ways she stood up for herself and was so sure of most things in her life. Well, at least Sunny thought so. And as soon as she thought back over their past calls, the way Jinjeong had called her 'emotionally intelligent', made her back away even further. If she told Jinjeong about what she and Jessica had done, how could she possibly still see her in that light?

But as Hyoyeon disappeared, she realized she had no choice left. If she didn't get it out, she would go insane. So, while Sooyoung was snoring away in her bed and Taeyeon chitchatted with Sooyoung's mother, Sunny sat down on her bed in her apartment, and dialed the number she had printed in her mind. She felt the presence of calm acceptance as the signals sounded.

"Line 49, this is Junsu."

"Hi, is Jinjeong available?"

"One moment."

Sunny breathed a sigh of relief, as always when Jinjeong wasn't already in a call.

"Line 49, this is Jinjeong." She sounded awfully tired that night, Sunny thought, and for a moment she hesitated again.

"Hi, it's Sunkyu."

"Oh, hi!" Jinjeong's voice brightened immediately, and Sunny wrote off her previously harsh voice to a rough night at the office. "How are you?"

"Uh..." Sunny said, wondering if she should dive right in or try to explain away everything again. Strange, she thought, how she was ashamed of what she had done, but didn't feel any regret and close to no guilt. "I'm... a bit of everything right now, I'd say," she finished, deciding to let Jinjeong ask.

"Okay," Jinjeong said, "so what exactly does that mean?"

Sunny scratched her head for a moment. "Well, see, I... met someone."

"You did?" Jinjeong asked, overjoyed. "That's amazing, Sunkyu! Who is she?"

And she joy in her voice, the pride that sounded so clearly and ever so gently, made Sunny flinch. She took a deep breath.

"Do you remember that couple I told you about?"

Jinjeong 'hmm'ed for a moment.

Sunny gave a short laugh. "We talked about me being jealous of them because I wanted what they had and so on. I don't think I mentioned them being a lesbian couple though, but they are."

"Okay, yes, I think I remember that," Jinjeong said after a short pause. "Why?"

Sunny winced, knowing now was the moment she couldn't keep it hidden anymore. Somebody who wasn't herself or Jessica was going to know what they had done, and the thought was both impossible and slightly exciting. She wasn't proud about what she'd done, was she?

"It's... it's one of them, that I like."

"Oh," Jinjeong said, the pride and joy and happiness all gone and replaced by something that sounded like regret.

"And she likes me," Sunny added when she didn't know what else to say.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Jinjeong then asked, not sounding angry, as she did in Sunny's worst imagination.

"We kissed," Sunny said numbly, "twice."

"And her girlfriend doesn't know, I assume?"

"No, she doesn't."

"Aha," Jinjeong said, sounding very thoughtful. "And this girl... is she planning on breaking up with her girlfriend to be with you?"

Sunny sighed. "No, probably not. They've been together for a long time."

Silence fell, and Sunny was sure that that was the moment when Jinjeong was going to start lecturing. She braced herself. "Sunkyu, I'm sorry, this must be really awful for you."

Sunny frowned, stunned by her words. "For... for me?" she repeated, feeling like she was waiting for the punch line of the joke.

"Of course," Jinjeong said. "The first time you fall in love, it's with somebody who's already taken." Still frowning, Sunny felt the truth of her words in a way she hadn't been able to in her loneliness. "Going after somebody who is already in a relationship goes beyond anything I would ever do," Jinjeong continued, and Sunny nodded to herself. "But if you really like this girl, I feel very sad for you. It's a horrible position to be in."

Sunny shifted on her bed, pulling up her feet underneath her. She was suddenly very uncomfortable, as if accepting those words of sympathy from Jinjeong somehow meant that she felt she deserved them. "I don't know what I was expecting when I got into this," she said. "I didn't even know I liked her until we kissed. I guess I just denied it, you know, thinking that I couldn't fall in love with somebody who was taken."

"And sadly love doesn't work that way," Jinjeong said, and Sunny smiled sadly as she shook her head.

"Apparently not."

"How often do you see them?" Jinjeong asked, sympathy still clear in her voice.

"All day, every day. We're in the same year, all three of us," Sunny replied, and Jinjeong sighed on the other end.

"That must be awkward," she said, and again, Sunny felt like she didn't deserve to be treated with such respect. The potential consequences of her actions seemed to sneak up on her, her hair and patting her back pointedly.

"It is," she said, trying not to sound too involved with her feelings. "But I don't know what to do. I know I should end it, but it's like... leaving her is not an option."

Jinjeong kept silent for a moment, seemingly thinking over her words. "Well, is it really like you even have her now?"

The question was like a half-hearted punch to Sunny's stomach. No, Yuri owned Jessica, not Sunny. And she had, for four years already, so there was nothing Sunny's inexperienced self could offer her that she hadn't already had, and grown out of.

But there was always the secret, the things that Jessica and Yuri could never share, that Yuri could never even know of, with Sunny being the secret ingredient; their kisses was their secret. Their kisses and feelings was what the two of them, and only they, could share, without Yuri being able to beat her. And that's what made Sunny feel like she still had some kind of power.

"I guess not," she said. "But I want to. Have her."

"Of course," Jinjeong said understandingly. "I understand that. But you said she had no plans to break up with her girlfriend."

"None that she has expressed," Sunny corrected her. "But I think she might, if I get some time to change her mind. I think we could have something."

Jinjeong inhaled slowly, and seemed all but happy with Sunny's reasoning. "Okay, but how long is 'some time'? That time is going to consist of you three in the same class every day, Sunkyu, and do you really want to go down that road? Do you really want to put yourself through that kind of... paranoia?"

Sunny thought for a moment. "No," she said then, "but if it means I win her over in the end, then I'll still do it."

Jinjeong fell silent again, and Sunny knew that it was like she expected; the other girl's opinion of her lowered with every word she spoke. But it didn't matter.

"I just don't want you to put yourself through any unnecessary strain if you are just going to end up hurt," Jinjeong said then, and Sunny felt confused.

"Me neither," she said with a laugh, wondering if Jinjeong's words were truly genuine. "But I think I have to."

"You said yourself that you know you should end it, and I have to agree."

"I can't waste my chance with her. She's too good for that."

"Okay," Jinjeong said, seemingly accepting defeat. "Maybe this isn't such a good thing to say, but... try not to get your hopes up."

Sunny understood what she was saying, and therefore didn't take offense. "I will try. But she's so amazing, I just have no words to describe her."

Jinjeong laughed, almost giggled, Sunny thought, and it brought a smile to her face. "So, tell me, Sunkyu," she said, the warmth and joy back in her voice. "Is falling in love everything you thought it would be?"

Sunny sighed in relief at the other girl's change in attitude. "Oh, it's everything I thought and more," she replied, laughing.

"Last time we spoke, you said it felt like something was missing," Jinjeong said, and Sunny squinted, trying to remember their last conversation. "Is that feeling gone now that you've found someone?"

Sunny paused, trying to open her heart to let her mind in. That feeling of missing something seemed so far off and distant now, but at the same time she thought it was unmistakably there, that cold sensation in her stomach. Strange, she thought, how she didn't think about it much anymore, when it was all she could do to try to survive it a month earlier.

"Well, not really, I guess," she said, playing with a seam on her jeans. "Like you said, I guess I don't really have her to a hundred percent. Also none of my friends know, so..."

"You don't think they'd understand?" Jinjeong asked. "From what I've understood, you've been friends for a long time already."

Sunny laughed shortly. "No, I don't think they would," she said honestly, "hell, I barely thought you would understand."

"What, really?" Jinjeong said. "That's not really a good grade for me as a helpline worker," she laughed. "But I guess you're right, this subject isn't something people look kindly upon."

"It really isn't," Sunny agreed, trying to imagine the look on Seohyun's face if she ever found out what she and Jessica had been doing. She shook her head at the image, already feeling her heart breaking.

"But my job is to be here for you no matter what happens" Jinjeong continued, and as always towards the end of their calls, Sunny felt strangely warm inside. "I know you aren't a bad person."

Sunny's body stiffened at the words. Wasn't she a bad person? Really?

"I can't help but feel this way," she said, trying to defend herself from her own thoughts. "And when I'm with her, it's like... it's like I can't control myself. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Don't fret too much," Jinjeong said with a slight laugh. "It's love. It can't be explained, and I don't expect you to."

Sunny sent up a silent thank you to the skies, a thank you for letting her find one of the most mature, kind and open minded people on earth. Because if it hadn’t been for her, Sunny would not have known what to do.

All the girls, with the exception of Yoona, were glad to be back in school the next day. The reasons varied, of course, but most of them agreed that sitting at home all too often led to wondering what Hyoyeon was doing. Where she was. Who she was with. And too much thinking usually led to too much insanity.

But for Yoona, it was a little different. Hyoyeon's disappearance brought with it the same feelings for her as for all the other girls, the same feeling of having let her friend down, the same feeling of absolute, mind-numbing worry. But for her, it also gave her an added pressure of keeping Sungmin safe. A need to protect so strong, that when she knew she couldn't protect him always, it suffocated her. And so school was the last place on earth she wanted to be right then. Most of all, she just wanted to sleep until high school was over.

When she actually came to school that gray day, though, it turned out Sungmin didn't show up. She knew he had gym class on the mornings on Wednesdays, and well, he never showed up for that, so at first she thought he would come in later, but when second period was getting closer, he was nowhere to be seen.

Yoona sent up a silent and guilt-ridden 'thank you' to the skies, for having mercy on her psyche. Because of his absence she was able to sit with the girls, not only Sooyoung in class, but with all of them during the breaks, and though the atmosphere was mostly broken and dysfunctional, it was a relief to Yoona's heart. It was hard to find things to talk about that didn't involve Hyoyeon, and hard to keep a conversation alive for a longer period of time, but Yoona didn't care. The other girls' presence warmed her up, tore at the edges of that ice cold worry around her spine, and she suspected the other girls felt the same.

What was best, though, was that during lunch she could sit with Seohyun in the library, trying to make sense of math, while the youngest worked on her special English assignments. She tried not to disturb Seohyun too much, but every now and then she needed to stop her sometimes painfully off train of thought and ask for some help, which the other girl gave her willingly and enthusiastically.

Thinking of math was another relief, strangely enough. It didn't leave room for much else in her head, and the space that was left was entirely filled with Seohyun.

Seohyun's voice. Seohyun's eyes. Seohyun's almost unbearably kind heart. Was it just because she needed comfort that her love for Seohyun seemed so overwhelming where they sat? She wanted to assume so, but it was hard to convince her heart of it. Hadn't she always seen the other girl this way? Hadn't she tried to stop herself from thinking those thoughts ever since that first day they shared in the library?

Yes, definitely. Numbers and equations escaped from Yoona's head as she looked up at the youngest opposite her. Her hair was long, brown and well-managed. Her face showed little signs of makeup, and she was dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt hidden under a gray jacket. Her long eyelashes fluttered every now and again as she worked enthusiastically at trying to learn English.

Everything about her was so right, Yoona thought. And beneath that image, that layer of self-awareness and decency, she could be so playful, so open-minded when she wanted to. It had taken her a while to realize it, but being around her made Yoona happier than she could remember being in a long time. It made her understand how bored she had been with her life so far, when Seohyun hadn't been around.

But what finally decided it for Yoona, was how much it seemed she had left to discover about the other girl.

She observed her openly and without trying to hide it, but Seohyun still didn't seem to notice; she just kept reading the questions and trying to find the answers in the text she was working on. Her dedication, as usual, made Yoona warm.

And Yoona knew she had to confess to Seohyun how she felt. The thought came into her head suddenly but calmly, and Yoona accepted it as if she was thinking of nothing more complicated than the day's weather. She wanted to confess; she needed to confess, and it had to be soon.

Seohyun looked up from her book when she finally felt Yoona staring at her, and looked back at Yoona with a questioning smile. "What?" she asked.

Yoona opened to speak, but didn't know at all what to say. The two had spent most of their day together in silence, just like the other girls. It was weird how something like Hyoyeon's disappearance, that logically should have given them a lot of things to talk about instead left them with an insecure inability to speak. Yoona laughed, shaking her head, but didn't look away. Seohyun laughed with her, though with an obvious touch of confusion, before going back to her book.

Yoona sighed, but still wasn't able to tear her gaze away from Seohyun and the way she absent-mindedly her lips while thinking. She was a wonderland for Yoona. How could it have taken her so long to notice how unspeakably gorgeous she was?

And how could she confess? It had to be special, that was for sure, but how could she make it a kind of special that was good and meaningful and not just corny and embarrassing?

And whoa, wasn't she kind of getting ahead of herself? She didn't even know anything about Seohyun's orientation, and wasn't that step one? Finding out if she had a shot with her at all?

But she thought back to herself. She didn't identify as gay, and she sure as hell didn't identify as straight anymore. Not after Seohyun. So maybe, just maybe, placing herself and Seohyun in any kind of label was to make things harder than they needed to be.

She smiled at the thought, smiled while watching the other girl hard at work, smiled because the feeling that filled her was sweet and bright and had nothing to do with anxiety or pressure. Smiled because the nervousness it caused was an expectant one, not a horrified one. And if Seohyun accepted her confession, she could only imagine—

Her cellphone buzzed in her pocket and she dizzily pulled her head out of the clouds. Oh, right, I was studying math here she remembered while she fished out her phone from her pocket, and— oh.

Recipient: Yoona
Sender: Sungmin
I miss you..
 

The reality of everything came rushing back at a nauseating speed at the same time as an unwelcome realization hit her in the stomach. Did Sungmin have feelings for her? Sure, it was natural for friends to miss each other, but...

And even if he didn't have feelings for her, how would he react to Yoona wanting to be together with Seohyun? She knew she was jumping to conclusions and getting way ahead of herself for worrying about it already, but they had already established the fact that Sungmin and Seohyun did not get along. So how would that work?

And why did it feel like Sungmin had such a power of her suddenly? Without even saying anything, he already made her rethink her actions and decisions about what to do with her future with Seohyun. How? Sungmin didn't have control over anyone, he was undeniably that one person in the school that the students either hated with a pointless fiery passion or didn't devote a single thought to. So how could he control her now?

The pressure once again welled up, and she felt a knot tie itself in her stomach again. She thought of what to reply, wondered what she could possibly write that wouldn't hurt him but neither give him any misplaced hope. Because Sungmin was Sungmin, her friend, one of her best friends, someone she valued and cherished above most others, but that was it. That was who Sungmin was.

She dropped the phone onto the table and it gave an unexpectedly loud, plastic bang. The display flickered and the light died down. Seohyun looked up at her with raised eyebrows. She was just about to say something when Yoona spoke.

"Do you want to do something today after school?" she said, filled with an unreasonable and unexplainable rage at everything that was wrong, but still not wrong enough to be fixed. Seohyun looked surprised.

"Uhm," she said, glancing at her watch. "I'm sorry, but I have ballet practice today after school." She gave Yoona a very apologetic look, and Yoona didn't doubt the sincerity of it one bit. "What brought this on, suddenly?"

Yoona smiled back at Seohyun's surprised but happy face. "I don't know. After everything with Hyoyeon, I feel like we need to cherish things more, appreciate them, you know?" she said, and Seohyun nodded quickly. "Do things that make us happy while we have the time. And I guess I've realized, during these past very strange weeks, that you make me happy."

She was trying her feet, treading on thin ice to see if it would hold, and the look of absolute joy that came over Seohyun's face was enough. It was definitely worth it.

Yoona could swear Seohyun's eyes were filled with tears of joy, and the youngest gave an "oh" from the bottom of , a sound that evolved into an "aww". Yoona couldn't help but smile. Seohyun let go of her pen immediately and leaned over the table, placing her hand on top of Yoona's, who grabbed it with adrenaline pumping through her veins. Everything about Seohyun was always so soft.

"You could come with me and Sunny to practice if you'd like," Seohyun offered, her voice thick.

Yoona tilted her head. "I could do that?"

"Of course" Seohyun nodded. "Sooyoung and Taeyeon have both joined us before. You don't have to dance, you could just watch from the stands, and we could do something afterwards. Does that sound okay?"

Yoona thought for a short second before deciding that she definitely wanted to see Seohyun's dancing, without a second thought. She nodded with a smile, and Seohyun withdrew her hand with a happy squeal.

The elder of the two felt the sweet anticipation tickle in her stomach, and the text she'd received only a few minutes earlier became forgotten as she tried to focus on her math again.

While Yoona tried to go back to her math, Sunny was dragging Jessica by the hand on the other side of the school. Not that the other girl needed much dragging; she was merely lagging behind because she couldn't run as fast as Sunny.

Their hands were firmly connected in a warm grip, and though the act was innocent, Sunny couldn't help but feel a little excited. Yuri and Jessica's relationship wasn't a secret in the school; as usual, when something it's uncommon, odd or different, people they had never seen before magically knew their names and some of their history. So if anybody would catch sight of Jessica running hand in hand with another girl, they would probably put two and two together and realize what was happening.

Sunny supposed it didn't matter. The risk that any random person in the school would walk up to Yuri and tell her Jessica was cheating on her was very low, but it still made her excited.

They soon found themselves out in the warm morning air, behind the yellow building on the edge of the school lot, a house that held the classrooms used for music and crafts. Sunny leaned against the wall; soaking in the weak sunlight that beamed down on them. Jessica did the same, not half a meter away from where Sunny was standing.

The world seemed to be spinning in Sunny's head. Everything was warm, pleasant, comfortable, and Jessica was wearing an ambiguous smile that made Sunny's fingers itch. Everything, from the way her eyes seemed more intense than ever as she looked into Sunny's, to the way she was dressed and how her perfume filled Sunny's nostrils, seemed to seep into Sunny's brain and take it over completely.

"What's going on?" Sunny asked, trying to cover up a sharp intake of air as Jessica moved closer to her, her fingers playfully finding Sunny's shirt.

"It seems like we lost the track on the way to the cafeteria," Jessica said, smirking. Both of her hands fisted Sunny's shirt, who automatically ended up even closer to Jessica. "And now we're here. Alone."

Sunny saw Jessica's hesitating lips mere inches away, and she wanted to close the distance more than anything. "As happy as I am about that," she said, laughing nervously, "that's not exactly what I meant."

"So what's on your mind?" Jessica asked, voice barely more than a whisper, not pulling away. Sunny felt her soft, wet lips on her forehead, and she closed her eyes, unable to stop herself from bathing in Jessica's attention.

"What's going on... with us," she breathed out, her body pulsating as Jessica's hands wandered up her sides. "What's going to happen with us?"

Jessica's hands sneaked around her waist, stopping at the edge of Sunny's jeans, tangling with the belt holders there. Her lips moved from Sunny's forehead to her cheeks, pressing light pecks in a cold trail. "I'm as lost as you," she said, but in the moment, Sunny found that hard to believe. With every touch of Jessica's lips, it became harder and harder for her to clear her mind. "All I know is that... you are so beautiful, and smart, and wonderful. I know I should feel like a bad person, and I try, but..." She pressed a harsh kiss on Sunny's lips at the same time as she untangled her fingers from the belt holders, and let her hands meet above Sunny's pants button. Sunny kissed back to the best of her abilities, desire coursing through her so wildly that she almost couldn't breathe. "I will go crazy if I can't be with you soon," Jessica breathed as they pulled apart, and immediately leaned in for another kiss.

Sunny reminded herself over and over how wrong it was, how completely and utterly against all her principles it was to give herself to someone who was already taken, but behind her self-loathing, behind her sparkling desire, there was a pride that welled up through her once she heard and felt how much Jessica wanted her.

Jessica wanted to be with her. Whatever she meant by that, Sunny was fine with it.

She didn't try to stop herself as she let her hands find Jessica's chest, and squeezing as well as she could with her shaking hands. Jessica moaned into , and Sunny wondered how much longer her legs could carry her.

"I— I want to be with you too," she panted out, pulling back and looking into Jessica's eyes, trying to tell her exactly what she meant through her lust-hazed gaze. Jessica hesitated for a few moments before seemingly catching Sunny's drift, and she gave a quick nod before throwing herself back into the other girl's embrace, kissing her with all her might, her arms around Sunny's neck.

Sunny held her as tightly as she dared, feeling her lips burn, lips that had only ever been touched by Jessica, this blond goddess in disguise. When, she wondered with her entire body, when could she feel Jessica's hands on her? Jessica's skin against hers? When could she be the one to make Jessica come, touch her in places that she could tell herself was reserved for her, and her only?

A burning in her stomach so strong it was almost painful, a mixture between powerful desire and new born love, convinced her that if she didn't get to be with Jessica, she wouldn't survive.

"Just take it, or I'll pull them out of the bag and drop them in your lap. Or maybe on your head! And then you'll get butter all over yourself. Okay? I don't want to do that, so just take them."

Taeyeon was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the school's infirmary, while Sooyoung lay stretched out on a couch next to her with her cellphone in her hands.

"I told you, no," the taller of the two replied for the sixteenth time. "I don't want to eat."

Taeyeon shook the bag of two sandwiches on the side of Sooyoung's face. "Sooyoung, I swear to God, I will punch you," she growled. Tiffany, who was sitting in a chair beside her, threw her an alarmed look. Taeyeon shook her head silently at her, as if to say "I'm not serious", but Tiffany didn't look a tiny bit relieved. It seemed as if, somehow, Taeyeon and Tiffany had unofficially become Sooyoung's make-shift parents, and needless to say, Taeyeon didn't mind at all.

"Put your cellphone away," Tiffany said, but Sooyoung only glared at her.

"You know I can't," she said, holding on tighter to the phone.

"Put... your cellphone... away," Tiffany repeated firmly, standing up from the chair and walking over to the couch. "Or I will take it from you."

Sooyoung sat up quickly, inching away from Tiffany. "Jesus, you guys are so violent!" she exclaimed, hiding her phone with both her hands. "Just give me a break!"

"I will if you put your phone away," Tiffany said calmly with her hands on her hips.

"And if you eat the sandwiches," Taeyeon added, earning another glare from the tallest of the group.

"I can't put the phone away, she might call!" she said, her red eyes about to pop out of her skull.

"You'll hear the phone ringing even if you don't hold it in your hand like it's your baby," Taeyeon said tiredly.

Tiffany nodded. "That's right. You have to try to relax."

"I can't relax, alright, Tiffany?" Sooyoung shot back at her. "Especially not with you two trying to eliminate the last possible way of contacting her."

Taeyeon and Tiffany exchanged a quick glance, both knowing better than to take offense from Sooyoung's words. All three of them knew well that without Taeyeon and Tiffany, Sooyoung would probably not have gotten out of bed in days. "Fine, so hold onto your phone then, but you know it's not good for you, right?" Tiffany said, sitting back down in her chair.

"What difference does it make?" Sooyoung muttered in reply, staring absent-mindedly at the display.

Tiffany sighed a little. "Why won't you eat, Sooyoung?" she asked with the same exasperation that Taeyeon felt.

But Sooyoung wouldn't yield. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, sinking down further into the couch. "Fine," Tiffany said again. "Taeyeon and I won't eat either then." She had kept her cool through the days they'd spend with the tallest, but now she seemed close to letting it go. It worried Taeyeon slightly; she saw Tiffany as a composed person - not to mention someone who usually had the answer to every problem - and if Tiffany was out of ideas, it was usually safe to say there were none left.

"That's really your choice," Sooyoung said, looking away from her friends, red eyes seemingly growing more tired by the second.

Silence fell for a few moments, where Taeyeon glanced carefully at Tiffany. She didn't know how to continue. She knew that if Sooyoung could sleep and eat like she normally did, life would become a whole lot easier for her. Not easy, but at least a little less exhausting. They didn't know when or even if Hyoyeon would ever come back, but this couldn't go on forever.

"Sooyoung, why won't you eat?" Tiffany asked.

The other girl gave her a quick look before glaring down at her phone again without saying anything. Just when Taeyeon thought she wasn't going to reply, she said: "how can I?"

"What do you mean?" Tiffany asked back.

Sooyoung seemed to fight with the answer, her eyes filling up with tears as she thought. "How can I sit here and eat like everything's normal, while she's out there alone, without money or a place to stay?"

Taeyeon exchanged a look with Tiffany again, and knowing immediately that Tiffany felt the same as her. The way Sooyoung was thinking was completely logical and so wrong at the same time, and Taeyeon didn't know how to deal with it.

Tiffany reached over to Taeyeon and took the bag of sandwiches out of her hands. Their fingers brushed together for a moment, and for the first time, Taeyeon didn't feel the need to pull her hand away and scream bloody murder at the contact.

"You're not making anything better for her by not eating," Tiffany said, "nor are you bringing her home."

A tear slipped over Sooyoung's cheek, but she appeared too tired to wipe it away. She stared numbly at the bag in Tiffany's hands.

"So please, just eat. Okay?" Tiffany continued, and held out the bag towards the other girl.

Sooyoung stared at it for a few seconds longer before finally relenting and reaching out to take the bag out of Tiffany's hands. Taeyeon gave Tiffany a relieved smile, and soon all three of them were having their lunch in silence, while Sooyoung's tears kept falling.



From the way her heartbeat sped up again as she walked into the cafeteria, Sunny started to suspect she wouldn't survive the day without a heart attack. Yuri was sitting alone at a table, and she saw Sunny and Jessica as soon as they came into the room. Suddenly Sunny felt very sure that their lips would be swollen and their hair would be chaotic, and maybe the word "CHEATER" would be written in blinking red letters on Jessica's forehead, but the other girl didn't give her a chance to check before she walked up to her girlfriend and sat down beside her. Sunny swallowed heavily before joining the two.

"Where is everybody?" Jessica asked, and Sunny did an internal dance of joy when they didn't kiss or even hug as a greeting. She sank down into the chair opposite Yuri, barely daring to look at her.

"Yoona and Seohyun are studying, I think," Yuri said thoughtfully, "and Tiffany, Taeyeon and Sooyoung are in the infirmary." Sunny snapped out of her guilt, worry filling her.

"Why, what happened to them?" Jessica asked before Sunny had a chance, sounding as worried and startled as Sunny felt.

"Sooyoung looked like she was about to pass out," Yuri explained, sympathy obvious in both voice and face. "And she refused to eat, but I have faith in Tiffany to make her see the light." She laughed a little, and Jessica and Sunny tried to do the same, but it ended up coming out unbearably awkward. Their eyes met for a split second before they both looked away, and silence fell. Yuri seemed didn't seem to notice anything, but just enthusiastically went back to eating her lunch.

"I'm gonna... go to the bathroom," Jessica said, standing up. Sunny shot her a desperate, pleading look to not leave her with alone with Yuri - something she wouldn't have liked even if she wasn't secretly fooling around with her girlfriend - but Jessica just shrugged apologetically, a hand squeezing Yuri's shoulder, before scampering out of the room.

Sunny looked around, anywhere but at Yuri. The other girl didn't seem to mind their silence, didn't seem to feel the awkwardness that was about to smother Sunny, and Sunny was a little thankful for it.

She still didn't feel as guilty as she thought she should. Instead, she felt strangely powerful. The confession was just a few words away: I just kissed your girlfriend. She told me she wants to be with me. And it would change everything, if Sunny would only say them.

But of course, she wouldn't. Even if she selfishly wanted things over between Yuri and Jessica, she would never do that to them. Or, well, she corrected herself, at least not to Jessica. She was trying her hardest not to start despising Yuri; she hadn't done anything wrong, she was the innocent in all this, but Sunny couldn't help it. If it just wasn't for Yuri...

"So where did you guys go earlier?" Yuri asked suddenly, and Sunny almost jumped out of her skin. "I lost you after class."

"Uh," Sunny said, racing through her mind to find a good explanation. "We... we tried to find Sooyoung," she tried, her voice coming out thick and dark. "We were worried."

"Ah," Yuri said, nodding. "Well, now you know." She smiled at Sunny, apparently buying her explanation with no suspicions. Sunny realized with a slight discomfort that she'd probably never had a reason to doubt Jessica before.

"I'm gonna... go and see how she's doing," Sunny said, standing up and awkwardly banging various body parts against both chair and table. "I'm still worried, so..."

"Okay," Yuri said, and Sunny didn't wait around, but just hurried out the door. She could see Jessica later. It was not worth staying around with Yuri right then.

Recipient: Sica
Sender: Sunny
When can I see you?

A/N: The lovely main pic in this chapter was made by ayo_minchan who in other news is totally lovely. Thanks sweetie! And thanks to all of you who are still reading, dunno how many you are ehe, and thanks to those of you that still comment. Would love it if some silent readers would step into the light as well... what do I need to bribe you with? ;;; anyway, til next week, guys!