"Oh. They've settled on the wine bar design?'

"Yeah! And the one they chose was that  one design proposal you drew up." Jinki annouced. "You know, the one based on tips from your husband..."

"That one? Really?" I said excitedly.

This is like a dream, having something I came up with get formally adopted.

I should thank Kris once I got home.

"As promised, I'll switch to support. Let's keep at it huh,"Jinki said with a big smile.

"Right, I look forward to it."

"Jinki, Jiyoon! Will you be attending the after party at Mr Park Jung Min wedding?" Bora asked.

"Park Jung Min? Oh from the sales team?"I asked.

"That's right, his wedding is the week after next," Jinki informs.

"I'll be going," I told them.

"Me too,"Jinki adds.

"All right. Now to ask Mr Choi,"Bora said before walking away.

"Will you be going to the reception, Jinki?"

"No, I'll stick to the afterparty. If I want to see Park Jung Min looking happy....The afterparty's good enough for that."

Looking happy huh.

Was I happy before the wedding?

"Are you jealous that he got married before you?'

Jinki blushed. "No such thing!"

What was I hoping for before my wedding?

I was glad because I believed that I could be happy...

But what kind of happiness am I seeking?

I just didnt know.

Click....

"Welcome home. Have you had dinner?"

"I had some before I got back."

"I see."

He started to walk to his room.

"Hey, that wine bar design we went over before? It went through." I told him happily.

Kris stopped in his tracks. He turned his around and faced me.

"Wine bar? Oh that thing.."

"Yes that. Its thanks to the advice you gave me, Kris. Thank you, I mean it."

"You dont need to thank me for that. We're married. Its only natural for me to lend you a hand when I can be of use to you."

Why is Kris being nice today?

"That's perfect regardless. I'd like you to go with me to Busan the weekend after next."

"The weekend after next?"I asked in surprise.

"That's right. Its not certain yet whether we'll be staying two days and one night or three days and two nights. But if it does end up being two nights, I'd like you to take some time off of work."

"But...But I cant take time off on such a short notice! Besides I have plans on that week."

Upon hearing my reply, his look turned sour.

"We'll be meeting the chairman of an American Corporation and his wife. They may become clients in the near future. They're here in Korea on business but they want to do some sightseeing in Busan first. I'd like you to join me in showing them around and entertaining them."

"Wait, I just said that I have plans on that weekend..."

"I have a promotion on the line!" he snapped at me.

I look at him in surprise.

"If this deal goes well, I could be promoted to section manager! There isnt a single person among my same-year peers who's become a section manager yet. This is a chance I wont get again!"

"But you didnt have to bring me along.........."

"And you call yourself a businessman's wife?"

"What?"

"Overseas, if you're not married, you dont get any recognition. Thats the reason that most people in my company with overseas assignments get married. If you dont come with me to handle this business entertainment, there wont be any point. I expect you to carry your duty as my wife."

"That's..."

"I helped you with your work before. Yet now, you turn around and refuse to pitch in and help me?"

I looked at him helplessly. "That's not it. Its just...."

Then it clicked.

"Is that why you helped me? So that you could get me to agree to come with you to Busan?"

My heart broke to pieces.

"Did you give me advice because you wanted a favor?"

No, please say no Kris... I cannot bear to hear it from your lips.

"Of course. Is it that shocking? Marriage is a transaction. Transcation dont happen without benefits."

My eyes widen at his definition of marriage.

"What? You cant call it a transaction, that's bizzare. "

"Then what is marriage to you?"

What is marriage to me?

"I consider it the beginning of a second life. A time for us to build a new family together."

"Fine. But isnt that all the more reason to look at benefits and drawbacks. After all, this is your future life that you're talking about."

How could he say that?

"It may be as what you say Kris, But what about love? Are you saying that love isnt necessary for marriage?"

"I'm not saying its not necessary. Its certainly more convenient if its there."

Convenient? Really?

"But it doesnt have to be the highest priority. After all marriage is life. For life, you need economic strength and stabilty more than you need love. You wouldnt have married me if I didnt have a job. Am I wrong?

He's right about that much.

But there's something wrong about this..Its not about that.........

"The reason I chose you was because this marriage would be beneficial to me. You wouldnt be an embarrassing wife to introduce to others. And you can speak other languages a little so I figured it wouldnt be a problem if I got assignments overseas in the future. You tend to throw yourself into work, and that aspect of yourself isnt bad either."

Kris took his put his briefcase on the dining table and took his tie off.

"I like the fact that you wouldnt just rely solely on me. And more than anything else, your father's backing was quite an appealing prospect."

"My Dad's?"

"Yes, I dont know anyone in other companies yet now."

He snickered.

"My father is a CEO but he runs a smaller company so that's totally useless for connections. But your father is different, He's a metropolitan bank executive.  And in fact, when marriage with you was settled, my same-year colleagues were all jealous on a number of different levels.

I was stumped.

My legs felt like jelly now.

"Of course, it wasnt just the fact that your father knew mine. That wasnt what got us introduced. There's no doubt that our marriage was arranged, with my father's company and my own future prospects in mind. Am I wrong?

"That maybe so but........."

"Of course, I dont mean yto be the only one that would benefits from this. This is a transaction. I intend to offer you benefits for being my future wife. S stable life, a high social status,,, And I can do things like offer work advice like I did before. In return, I expect you to make yourself useful to me. That's a wife natural duty."

"...."

"I'll inform you when the details are settled for the eveny the week after next. Make sure to brush up information about the chairman and his wife too,"he ordered.

"That's all I have to say, I'm going to sleep. If you have anymore questions, save it for tomorrow."

Kris cut me off with a final parting and vanished into his bedroom.

What the hell was that?

It wasnt that I didnt comprehend what he said. I did of course.

But I was rejecting it in my heart.

Being cheated was a shock.

So the fact that he hasnt touched me once since we got married.

But this could be even worse.

Kris and I sought for different things in life.....

I'm scared.....I feel scared.

I'm afraid that one day I might just snapped and give Kris an ugly glare and I'll mean it....

"What you're not going to the afterparty?"Bora asked unhappily.

"I'm sorry."

"I wish you'd say that sooner. This is putting me in a bind."

"I'm really sorry."

"Dont get so mad Bora. There is still time left to cancel"Jinki butts in.

"Sure but its such a pain,"she complained.

"A pain..? You're awfully blunt,"he told her.

Jinki turn his attention to me."But why the sudden cancellation?"

"I have to go to Busan with my husband."

"Wow, you're taking a trip? You must get along so well. I'm so jealous," Bora gushed.

"I guessed so. I'm ahppy with how nicely my husband treats me."

"Wow, listen to her gushing...I'm jealous too,"Jinki commented.

"Whats the big deal? We're newlyweds."

I gopt through the scene with a little white lie.

As I did, I felt an increasing sense of futility.

"Oh yeah, did you tell your husband aboutthe wine bar?"

"Yeah, I did."

"I bet he was overjoyed."

"Of course he was."

There's yet another lie.......

How long will I have to keep this up?

It ended up being two days and one night in Busan. Meaning I wouldnt have to take time off from work.

We boarded a train.

"First off, I'd like you to read over this."

"An american business magazine?"

"That;'s right. The people we'll be entertaining are Mr and Mrs Taylor, covered in this article. They'll arrive at the airport at 11am. Then they'll travel to Busan and do some sightseeing. They will be visiting........."

I listened dully as he listed off tourist spots."

How I wish this is just a normal trip.........

Dummy, its because of his job that we get to go to Busan together.

A private vacation with Kris is.......unthinkable, the way we are now.

I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with a sense of futility and inability to bear this."

"What, are you drowsy?"he asked.

"Yes,"I muttered.

"I'd appreciate it if you read over the magazine article before you went to sleep."

I opened my eyes back.

"I know. Dont worry."

"I hope I wont have to.....Hey excuse me!"

Kris calls out to the woman at the vendor cart as she passed by.

"Two coffee please."

"Would you like milk or sugar?"

"One milk and sugar each..."

"Coming right up."

She sets out two coffee cups on a lowered table.

"You should drink up. It'll wake you up."

"...."

'What's wrong?"

"Its just the milk was one thing but the sugar...."I answered.

"You dont want any? You always put sugar in your coffee when you're tired."

I found myself blinking at his disinterested statement.

"What? Why so surprised?"

"Its nothing..."I answered, looking away at the window.

He probably didnt say it out of any consideration for me.

He was just stating a fact. But...............

He noticed that sometimes I put sugar in..............

It was such a tiny, miniscule gesture but it made my chest quiver....

I guess I cant come to hate him after all.

If only I could hate him, resent him, curse him.......

It would be so much easier........