I heard the sound of showering from the bathroom.

I sat down on the sofa and waited for Kris to come out.

First I have to talk this out with him.

I cant give up.

We're married. We have to learn to talk openly with each other.

Click.

"Oh you're still here?"

"I wanna talk to you."

"Talk? I have nothing to say to you."

"Well I do. Could you have a seat?"

"Sorry but I am tired. I need to get up early tomorrow."

"Please, dont say that Kris. Please sit down."

He sighed unhappily.

"Get this done in five minutes if you can. I cant stay up past then."

Kris wouldnt even sit on the sofa.

"What am I to you?"

"You're my wife of course. What else would you be?"

"Is there anything that you are not satisfied of me?"

"I've got nothing to complain about.If I had to say something, it would be trying to start a conversation this late at night."

"I... I feel like I'm really distant from you. I have no idea what you're thinking. I dont know what are your likes and dislikes or what sort of things you even think about normally."

"Do you need to know that?"

"Cant I?"

"Even parents and children of the same blood cant understand each other. Given that, we're just a married couple who doesnt share the same bloodline. So how can you expect us to understand each other?

"That..."

"I dont like wasted efforts and time. Its inefficient. Whats more important is to determine rules that allow both sides to pass the time comfortably and stick to those rules."

"But I am not at all comfortable!"

Kris looked surprised at my words.

"Its been three months since we got married. But I still dont feel we're like a normal husband and wife. Everyday, I have to convince myself that we are indeed married. But even so, I could only see us as strangers."

"....."

"There's no sense of husband and wife between us."

"A sense of husband and wife?"he repeated softly.

Kris smiled faintly and stood before me.

I was taken aback by his sudden move.

He set a hand on the sofa and leaned in close.

A few more inches and he would brush up against me. He was that close....

"Would you like me to pin you down on the spot?"

I was too shock to comment.

The fact that we were so close, its hard to breathe.

His voice was low.

"Would that satisfy you my dear wife? Would that makes you feel more like a husband and wife?"

I couldnt answer him.

"Answer me. Is that it?"

I felt angry at his question. Anger suddenly turns to courage.

"Thats right! Thats exactly it, my dear husband."

He looked indigantly at me.

"But you dont do a thing. We're supposed to be married.."

I desperately swallowed my welling embarrassment and blurted it out.

But all that reached me was my husband's sarcastic tone.

"Then I'll take you right here."

"What?"

"If I did, you'd be satisfied and wouldnt bring up this insipid conversation again right?"

"What do you mean, insipid?"

"Am I wrong to say that? If I acted with that sense of being husband and wife, wouldnt that satisfy you?"

"Thats not.."

"Then what do you mean by a sense of husband and wife? Can you be more specific?

I wanted to answer him but couldnt think of what to reply.

I look down instead.

"You dont have a clear answer, do you?"

"...."

"Five minutes is up. This conversation is over."

He backed off from me perfectly naturally and went off to his bedroom.

I didnt move.

What gives the sense of being a husband and wife?

I do want Kris to see me as a woman.

But thats not all it is.

"Mmm, delicious! The dried lunch set they sell here is the best," Seunghyun said happily.

"...."

"Yoonie, why the long face? Did you get chewed by the manager again?"

"No, I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what? C'mon, talk to me. Is it work related?"

"...."

"Private life then?"

I look at her when she guessed it right.

"Let me guess, trouble with your mother in law?"

"Er..."

"Whoa, I nailed it. Boy, you have it rough too huh?"

"Its not really that. She's pretty normal for a mother in law."

"Then what is it."

"Its..."

I cant say that I'm having harder time with my husband rather than his mom.

"Say, what is it that you want from marriage Seunghyun?"

"Huh? That came out of nowhere...."

"Just play along.."

She pondered.

"Hmmm. It wouldnt have to be economically ideal as long as it has basic financial stability. And love I guess."

"What do you mean by love?"

"Huh?"

"Do you mean that you'd want him to tell you that he loves you everyday? That he'd want to sleep with you everynight?"

She look flustered by my question.

"Hey, its daytime you know! Its not even night time yet!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Geez,whats the deal? Is Kris telling you that you dont have enough love?"

"Uhmmm."

"Well, you've always been kind of wishy washy."

"...."

"Its an arranged marriage. So you're not likely to get much in the way of 'I love you' or 'I need you' out of it but you should show a bare minimum of affection at least. You dont hate Kris right?"

"Right"

I dont hate him... Thats what makes it so hard.

I dont want an intense romance like someone would have in their teen or twenties.

I just want to be love and be loved.

It doesnt have to be much.

I just want to feel glad that I got married.

But right now, I cant even see that.

"Huh? This is your only design?"

"Sorry. Its just that I've kind of like having a lot of things going on,"I explained.

But seems that Jinki wasnt too pleased with it.

"What do you mean kind of? This is your assignment. Your only other job right now is the book cafe right?"

"Yes."

"Look, are you even motivated?"

"...."

"Our meeting with the client is next week and this is the only thing you can offer me?"

"...."

"It looks like crap to me!"

"I am sorry."

"If you cant handle it, I'll keep you on support duty. Actually if you're going to half it, I wont even ask you to do support work. I will ask Mr Choi to put someone else to replace you."

"I am so sorry. I'll do better.I will have three, no five proposals ready by friday,"

"If you cant handle it, I'll pull you off."

"I understand. But I'll do better this time round."

Yes, I need to throw myself more into my work. Or I'll lose my project.

I cant waste the chance that I've been given.

I returned home, had dinner by myself and then went over my material once more.

Before I knew it, two hours had passed.

Five proposals will be hard to manage. But I have to keep my promise to Jinki.

Click....

Its Kris.

"Welcome home," I said without looking up from my work materials.

"You're still up?"

"Yes, have you had dinner?"

"Not yet."

He came over and glanced over my materials.

"A wine bar?"

"Yup."

"For the time being, I'm supposed to join the project as a support but if my design gets adopted, I could be put in charge of it."

"You know, I remember a fascinating bar."

"You do? In the city?"

"No, in Algeria. Its a place I was brought to when I visited Oran on a business trip. There was a huge wine cellar in the bar. It had a display that attracted a lot of attention. I think a have a photo of it..."

"Could you show it to me?"

"Wow. Is the wine inside there?"

"No, it was empty as I recalled."

"What about the outer ceiling? Is it glass or a normal wall?"

"The way I remember it, it was a wall. Of course, I mostly saw the front so I cant say for certain."

"I see."

If I was to make a wine cellar like this, maybe I should make it more practical.

Or should I go more for a display?

What woukd the image be? Something inorganic?

Or would something wamer work better?

"You really love your job, dont you?"

"I do but I'm still a beginner and I'm a long way standing on my own but I think interior spaces have a lot of power. Even when something looks messy,as long as you follow some sort of rule when you make it, it can be comfortable. And no matter how carefully you select your furniture. If you strike the wrong balance, it wont be relaxing. If only more people knew that."

I look at Kris who was silent.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Now, I'm rambling on."

He shakes his head.

"No, its rather interesting."

"Is it?"

"My mom seems to oppose you from continuing your work but I dont see it that way. In fact, I think you should keep on working. And if you're that motivated in your work, that all the more reason for you to stay on."

"Thank you."

Come to think of it, he really did stood up for me the other night.

Maybe right now, I can at least believe him when he says I can keep working.

"Oh, I'll go warm up dinner"

He stopped me.

"I can handle that much myself. You should focus on your work. You must be in a rush for it since you're bringing it home to work on."

"Yeah, I am."

Kris is being so nice today. He's like a complety different person from the one who wouldnt even speak to me for longer than five mins.

Resentment flickered admist my happy thoughts.

What has him in such a good mood? Is it because work went well for him?

Or did something else nice happen?

Or is it because of that woman?

I hastily shook my head to end that train of thought before it went any further.

No, think it over some other time.

For now, I've got work to do.

Friday.

I showed Jinki my proposal.

"What do you think? I gave it everything I could from my end."

He finally smiled. "I like it. Its better than I'd expected,even."

"Really?" I sighed in relief. Thank God!

"Yeah, I think its better than what I came up with."

"Then?"

"I'll show them to Mr Choi first and he says okay, we will submit them to the client. After that its up to the client which one gets picked."

Jinki looked over my design plan once more.

"Which one do you prefer Jinki?"

"I'll go with this one. Its pretty close to matching the concept we've been given to work with."

"Oh, that one."

"Something up?"

"Actually, for that design, I took inspiration from an Algerian bar."

"Oh yeah? Isnt Algeria in Africa? Why there?"

"My husband told me about a bar he once went when he was there. It supposedly got rave reviews there. He had pictures of it and showed me. We discussed and from there, I expanded my design."

"Wow, I see. Its good to be married, yeah?"

"Sorry?"

"When you're alone, you have to come up with everything yourself. But when you're with someone else, you can brainstorm up things that someone would never come up with alone."

"...."

"This design is just that."

"I suppose you have a point."

Its true enough that I would never have came up with this on my own. But only because he was there for me..

"If this design goes through, you better thank your husband."

"I will."

I'll be straight about it too. I'll tell him its all thanks to him.

And maybe one day, we could go out there together.

I am still wondering why was he being nice to me? Offering me advice on my work?

It would be several more days before I finally learnt the true reason.