“The heart is forever making the head its fool”

~François de la Rochefoucauld~  

Credits: xRiChan @ soompi

08| Foolish Game

There is no denying the fact that I was nervous.

Scratch that, I was very nervous.

I think I might pee in my pants in a few seconds if I don’t calm down.

I opened my wallet and began counting all the money that I had in there. Going there was expensive and I think I might have to spend a week’s worth of allowance to afford it. But I needed help, hence the reason why I went anyway. I didn’t even tell MinYoung about this. If she knew, she might laugh her heart out.

I waited nervously. The other people looked at me fidgeting on my seat with curiosity lingering on their faces.

I looked at the white door, hoping that it would open up and someone would call for my name.

“Park Bom!”

Finally, it was my turn. I hastily got up, turned the doorknob and went inside the room. Anxiety rushed over me as I took the seat in front of the white-clad middle age man with a stathescope hanging around his neck.

“Hi, Miss Park. I’m Dr. Lee. How can I help you today?” he said, looking down as he scribbled something on my medical record.

I gulped hard. I didn’t know that it would be so hard for me to say it. “If I tell you, will you promise not to tell anyone?” I asked in secrecy.

Dr. Lee looked up from writing and gave me an assuring smile. He made a motion to zip his mouth. “Us doctors have sworn to maintain our patient’s confidentiality, Miss Park. Now tell me, what is the problem?” he said, sounding just like what an honest doctor would – Not that I know how an honest doctor sounded like. But anyways, this Dr. Lee sounded genuine so I decided to entrust him with my problem.

I leaned in forward to whisper. “Dr. Lee, I think I’m going crazy,” I told him.

“No way! What makes you say that Miss Park?”

If I didn’t know better, I’d think that he was mocking me. But seeing that he was a doctor, there’d be no way that he’s mocking me. It must be my imagination.

“You see, there’s this boy—” I trailed off. Actually, I didn’t really know how to explain my problem to him.

“Uh-huh! This always starts with a boy,” Dr. Lee remarked.

My eyes widened. “Always? You mean, there are others like me?” I asked with hope. If there are others like me, that means I might be completely normal.

“You’ve to finish telling me your problem first Miss Park before I can tell you that.”

“Right,” I said, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks. I can’t believe I was so stupid. How would he know if I haven’t even told him the full story? He’s a doctor, not a psychic!

I cleared my throat nervously before I opened my mouth to say, “This boy likes to bully me. He’ll show up everywhere I am just to piss me off. He puts up ridiculous pictures of me for public to see. Then, the worst part, he asks me to do a crazy task if I want to be free from him. When I finally did it, he let me go and for some weird reason, I feel bad whenever I see him in school. Then, after 3 days of freedom, suddenly he gave me a bill of over 40,000 won because I broke his gadget and asks me to meet him tomorrow. The funny thing is that I should be angry, right? But the opposite happened. I feel happy hearing from him. Oh, doctor! It’s not normal, right? I’m going crazy, right? Please cure me, Dr. Lee. I’d eat any medication that you prescribe.”

“Hmmm... this sounds very complicated,” Dr. Lee said.

“Right?!” I shrieked. Thank God he understood me. He must be the best doctor in South Korea. I had made the right choice of going to seek help from him.

“Don’t worry, Miss Park. There are billions of girls all over the world having the same disease as you are currently having,” Dr. Lee said.

“Billions?” I gasped, my eyes widened in surprise. I can’t believe so many people have the same thing that I am having. So, turns out, I’m not that abnormal. “Please help me, Dr. Lee. What can I do?”

“No need to panic, Miss Park,” he consoled me, “This isn’t a serious disease. There is absolutely a cure for this. You’ve come to the right place.” He gave me another reassuring smile and I felt relief washed over me.

“So, there’s a cure? I can be normal again?” I asked, “What should I do?”

“Whenever the thought of him cross your mind, breathe deeply and say these words: ‘I love myself more than anyone in this entire world’,” he said, still smiling. I looked at him sceptically but he insisted that I repeated after him. “Please repeat after me, Miss Park.”

“I love myself more than anyone in this entire world,” I said hesitantly, more to myself. I failed to see the significance of it all.

“Louder, Miss Park!” he bellowed.

“I LOVE MYSELF MORE THAN ANYONE IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD!” I yelled.

Dr. Lee let out a soft chuckle. “There you go,” he said, “Don’t you feel better now?”

There was no doubt that I felt a bit lightheaded after yelling those words. This doctor is definitely a miracle worker! “Yes, I do,” I agreed.

“So, is there anything else, except for your current problem that you want to consult me about?” he asked. I shook my head. “That’s it then. Thanks for coming, Miss Park. By the way, I hope that the next time that you have this problem, you won’t be coming here anymore. It’ll just be a waste of your money. You should meet the school’s counsellor or maybe a therapist, not a medical doctor,” he said.

I paused to ponder. Somehow, the image of me meeting my school’s beastly counsellor, Miss Kang turned up as a horrible horror movie in my mind. I shuddered at the thought. “No way!” I shrieked, “I’d rather meet you again!”

The doctor’s face fell.

I got up, bowed politely and thanked him. Just before I turned the doorknob, I asked him, “Dr. Lee, may I know what is the name of my, errrr.. condition so that I can search more about it on the Internet?”

Dr. Lee looked up and gave me a meaningful smile. “It’s a common condition among youngsters, Miss Park. You’re ‘lovesick’.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

***************

After I came home from selling corns that night, I was vengeful. Only God knows how vengeful I was. Even when I was selling the corns, I was selling them with so much hatred flowing inside me that the customers were so scared to even talk to me. Heck, there was one time, this old grandmother came with her grandson to buy three corns and I packed the corns in fury that the grandmother— who was using a walking stick by the way— practically ran the he.ll away from there.

Yes, Park Bom is furious.

And it is all because of Dr. Lee.

Well, him and that crazy kingka, Choi SeungHyun.

Come to think of it, the source of all this problem would be Choi SeungHyun. If there is anyone who should be blamed for my current state of mind, it would be Choi SeungHyun.

That cheap, crazy, alien kingka!

It was bad enough that because of him, I thought I really had a medical problem that I consulted a doctor. Then, when I went to the pharmacy to pick up the medication, the pharmacists were giggling at me when she was giving me Panadol because apparently, Dr. Lee had written ‘lovesick’ as the diagnosis of my condition.

Oh, the doctor thinks he’s a comedian now!

What’s even more frustrating is that, I didn’t even have anyone to share my problem with to ease the anger building up inside me. Sharing it with Appa would only be awkward, sharing it with MinYoung would only mean being laughed at and sharing it with Umma would mean not even getting any answer. My family was not rich so I couldn’t afford a therapist. Furthermore, I wasn’t the type who was patient enough to keep a diary.

“Argh!!!” I screamed in frustration. Ever since that night, my life took a 180 degree turn. Usually at this hour of the night, I would already be in my dreamland, dreaming about being a princess, bathing in my golden bathtub with a glass of champagne and hundreds of servants waiting to entertain me.

Sighing, I looked around me and saw the old computer on my desk. Suddenly, I had the awesome idea. What use is the Internet if I don’t use it, right?

Right.

I quickly went to the computer and clicked on the mouse. Then, without even thinking, I started typing.

Yes, Park Bom is starting a blog of her own. I named it ‘Don’t Touch My Corn!” and started typing about all that had happened after that fateful night. I didn’t hold back on describing SeungHyun as the real jerk that he was. Here is an excerpt of what I had written that night, during my moment of fury.

Choi SeungHyun is a complete bas****. He is cocky and rude and selfish and crazy. Did I mention that he was rude? Oh yes, I did. He was really rude. He’s also such a cheapskate. He asks me to pay him 40,000 won. What a crazy kingka! I hope he eats all the oily food, becomes fat, and then die of heart attack! He thinks I’m afraid of him? Well think again! This average girl isn’t afraid of anyone!!!

Suddenly, I saw the message icon blinked. Wow, someone had already messaged me? So soon? I quickly clicked on it.

ChoomBoi: Hi. I really like what you’ve written. So this Choi SeungHyun sounds so irritating!

Harookon: Thank you! Yes, he’s so annoying. I wish I can kill him. Hihi.

ChoomBoi: Aren’t you afraid that he’s gonna find out what you wrote?

Harookon: I’m not afraid of him! I don’t care if he finds out!!

ChoomBoi: Wow, you’re very brave.

Harookon: I know. Hihi.

ChoomBoi: Well corn girl, you need to be careful. He might be calling you now.

Harookon: Corn girl? How do you—

My eyes widened when I realized that he had just called me corn girl. This ChoomBoi, he can’t be...

As if on cue, my cellphone started to ring. I looked at the cellphone to see ‘Choi SeungHyun calling’ flashing on the screen.

I bit my nails in nervousness. I didn’t even answer the phone. I shoved it under my pillow so that I could reduce the sound. Then, on my computer screen, the message icon kept on blinking.

ChoomBoi: Yah! Corn girl! Answer the phone!

ChoomBoi: Scared now, aren’t you? I thought you’re not afraid of anyone?

ChoomBoi: You should go to sleep and think about how you’re going to pay me, not write nonsense on the Internet.

ChoomBoi: Pretending to sleep now are you?

ChoomBoi: If you think you can get away, think again corn girl! ‘Cause I’ve got my eyes on you!

*********************

“He wrote that?” MinYoung giggled. Yes, she giggled when I told her about the blog last night. It seems that she was really enjoying listening to that story. Lucky I skipped the part where I went to the doctor, or else, she might be laughing so hard, it’d leave her asphyxiated.

“It’s not funny,” I grumbled in annoyance as I shoved the banana bread inside my mouth. I chewed in anger, wishing that I could chew MinYoung’s head off instead.

“Aww, don’t be angry Bommie. It’s just that, ‘I’ve got my eyes on you’? That sounds so romantic. Maybe Oppa likes you,” she giggled like a little girl.

I gave her a murderous look across the table. “You like me, my Dad likes me. Him, not so much!” I grumbled grumpily, “Besides, whoever charges the person he likes anyways?”

“Hmm.. the bill thing is kinda strange,” she paused to ponder for a moment. Then, her eyes widened and she looked at me excitedly. “What if it’s just an excuse? What if the bill is his excuse for wanting to see you again? Aww.. isn’t he adorable?”

For a weird reason, I felt my cheeks getting warm. Could it be that he likes me? It’s not possible, is it? I mean, he’s a kingka and I’m just the average girl. He has many girls lining up to date him. It’s not possible that he likes me among all those gorgeous adoring fans of his.

I shook off the thought. Who am I kidding? Of course he doesn’t like me. Only MinYoung is delusional enough to think that it was even remotely possible. She is my best friend after all and I know how illogical she can be.

“Don’t be ridiculous, MinYoung,” I snickered, “That’s just like telling me that 1Tym’s Teddy has proposed to me.”

MinYoung rolled her eyes. Then, I saw that creepy smile on her face. From the look of it, I just knew that whatever she was about to say was going to be ridiculous. I just knew it.

“Hey, you’re the one who can’t stop smiling after getting that bill!” she smiled, “Admit it, Bommie. You like him, don’t you? And I think he likes you too. Why don’t the two of you just date already?!”

I groaned loudly. I was frustrated that I was still blushing despite being irritated at MinYoung. So what if I smiled a little after getting that bill? The last time I checked, smiling wasn’t a crime. Besides, I think MinYoung is thinking too much of this whole ‘SeungHyun likes you thing’. Obviously, he didn’t like me. If not, he wouldn’t be doing all these crazy things to me. Mind you, being laughed at by your own doctor was no trivial matter.

That reminds me, I need to do my ritual. Instead of replying to MinYoung’s crap, I decided to follow in Dr. Lee’s advice. I breathed deeply and said, “I love myself more than anyone in this entire world.”

To my surprise, those words brought instant relief to my annoyed heart. Dr. Lee was definitely the best doctor in the world!

MinYoung looked at me in utter confusion. “What the heck was that?” she inquired, her large eyes boring into mine.

“Nothing,” I smiled sweetly, “Just a self-belief chant I learn from TV.”

“You know what, Bommie? Ever since this whole SeungHyun fiasco, you’ve changed. A lot,” MinYoung remarked thoughtfully.

“I know, right!” I shrieked in agreement, “It’s all his