“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous”
Ingrid Bergman
 

2NE1 | Finding My Destiny

What the hell is going on here? I really need to know. Somebody, please tell me what the hell is going on.

Anyone?

Why does it feel like I’m suddenly starring in my own episode of The Twilight Zone?

I sneaked a glance at SeungHyun. He was still looking at me with that handsome perplexed look on his face. I glanced back at the rest of the kingkas. They too were looking at me with eyes wide open, as though they found it shocking that I was being friendly with SeungHyun.

I thought back about how Appa was behaving strange, the old rusty bike, MinYoung’s puzzled expressions, and the kingkas’ perplexed looks. Everything had been weird ever since I had woken up from that strange dream of meeting my mother.

Then, a sudden thought crossed my mind.

Could it be that everything that had happened—all those things between us—was just a dream? Could it be that I had woken up from a really long and wonderful dream? It was just impossible to be just a dream, wasn’t it? The dream with my mother, it was actually a dream within a dream?

It could not be, could it?

I took a deep breath and proceeded to ask SeungHyun that burning question of mine. “You don’t know me? Are you sure?” I asked, half afraid to know his answer.

SeungHyun blinked rapidly again. Before he had even opened his mouth, I had already known what he was going to say. “No,” he replied while massaging his forehead. He cocked his head and just looked at me with a curious expression on his face. “Why?” he asked, “Am I supposed to know who you are?”

The earth was spinning under my feet and it felt like I could fall anytime soon. It was hard to even breathe. I felt suffocated, like someone was choking me.

SeungHyun’s eyes were still on me, his puzzled expression further confirming my dreadful thought. “Hey guys, who’s this chick?” he turned to ask his friends who were making their way towards us. Behind them, I could see MinYoung trailing along, shaking her head repeatedly while glaring at me as though I had done a really awful crime.

Well, SeungHyun’s nasty fangirls would think that I had done a big crime too if they saw me talking to him.

“We don’t know her,” HeeChul said when he stood beside SeungHyun, looking down at me with pity in his eyes. Then he turned to look at SeungHyun with a sly smile. “Of all your fangirls, this one is definitely the weirdest,” he chuckled.

I gasped. They thought that I was one of his fangirls! “I’m not his fangirl!!” I yelled in anger.

HeeChul jumped a little due to my sudden outburst. “She’s crazy, man! Cuckoo!” he made the crazy gesture, crossing his eyes as he did so as though to emphasize how crazy I was.

MinYoung rushed to stand by my side. “Bommie, why are you behaving like this? You’re scaring me,” her eyes were blinking rapidly from behind her glasses, “Are you alright?”

The kingkas were all looking at us from head to toe, as though trying to figure us —no, me— out.

I bit my lower lip, wrecking my brain to think of the rationality behind this all. I, for one, had never been delusional enough to mistake a dream for reality. It was like I was thrown in a time machine and everything had gone back to the way it was; pre-SeungHyun. “What date is it today?” I asked, afraid to know the answer.

“It’s 18th June. Why?”

My heart sank. So it was true. Everything had just been a dream. A really long, long, long, dream. All those sweet moments, those tears, those laughter; none of them was real. There was no SeungHyun and Bom, no Micky and MinYoung.

IT WAS ALL A FREAKING DREAM!!

I had managed to make myself look like a complete idiot by acting chummy with the kingkas. They must think that I was mentally ill or suffering from serious delusion.

I need to get away from them.

I need to run.

I need to run now.

“Hey, crazy girl,” SeungHyun’s voice broke my train of thought before I could even make my dash towards class, “Your shoelace’s untied.”

I glanced down to see my untied shoelace. In this crucial moment, of all things, what makes him think that I would care about my untied shoelace?! What is so important about—

Wait a minute.

My untied shoelace?

Why does this feel familiar?

Today is 18th June so yesterday was 17th June.

17th June.

That was the day when the drunk SeungHyun came to my corn stall and had stolen my first kiss!

“Yesterday you were raging about a drunken guy who came to your corn stall.”

Appa’s voice replayed in my head. I gasped. I touched my lips and looked at SeungHyun with my eyes opened wide.

So that stolen first kiss part was real? It was not a dream?

Your dream will lead you to your destiny. Just follow it.

Umma’s words of wisdom from the dream; is she telling me that my dream will come true? That it was my destiny to be with SeungHyun?

I clasped MinYoung’s hand for support. Now this must be a dream. It is just too insane to be real. No one would believe me if I tell the story.

“Relax,” Micky smiled, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Oh. My. God.

It was like a replayed tape of my dream.

I blinked rapidly, my voice was nowhere to be found like I had gone mute. From beside me, I could feel MinYoung staring at me, boring holes through my face.

“Hmm.. do I know you?” SeungHyun asked.

I gasped. I knew how this would all turn out. At the end of the day, I would be heading home with the smell of a dead cockroach in my hair.

This is not good, Park Bom. Not good. I should run.

I grabbed MinYoung’s hand and dragged her away, walking as fast as I could. MinYoung fastened her strides to match with my pace.

“Hey, crazy girl! Wait! Your shoelace’s still untied!” SeungHyun called after us. I could feel him trying to catch up with us.

“I’m fine with it!” I shouted back, not wanting to stop for even a second.

“But you can die because of it!” he yelled.

“I’ll die peacefully then!!” I yelled back.

I heard him running after us and before I knew it, he was standing right in front of us, putting up both arms to stop us. The rest of the kingkas then stood behind him. He looked at my face, frowning as though he was studying every feature. Then, I heard his loud gasp.

“It’s-it’s-it’s y-yo-you!” he stammered, “You’re the one who kissed me last night!”

Oh no, not again!

****************

The sound of the collective gasp from the kingkas and MinYoung would never leave my mind. They sounded as though they were too astounded to say a thing; only gasping was the mode of conveying their shock over what had happened, especially after I had yelled a defiant “No, you kissed me!” to SeungHyun.

“You kissed me.”

“No, it was you but I’ve already forgiven you. You were drunk.”

“You wish that I kissed you.”

“I didn’t wish for that.”

“You did too.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“ENOUGH!” Micky interrupted loudly, “This won’t be ending anytime soon, will it?”

I sneaked a peek at MinYoung. She was looking back and forth between me and SeungHyun; probably she was still trying to reason with what was happening in front of her. SeungHyun was trying to explain to his friends about what happened last night, about how I allegedly had taken advantage on him during his most vulnerable state. I could feel some students—mostly girls—looking at us curiously, as though trying to find out why SeungHyun was talking to me. The fangirls would think weirdly if they thought I had stolen a kiss from their beloved heartthrob. Who knows what they’d do to me.

So I did the cowardly thing.

I ran.

Even though I knew that he was going to find me, I still ran. For the time being, I need some time on my own to figure out some things.

*******************

Umma, why are you doing this to me? You were supposed to be my guardian angel. Why did you make me go through these things again? Is it really my destiny? Is that why you gave me that long, wonderful dream? To let me know that I could be happy with SeungHyun? That he was my destiny?

But this isn’t a drama.

No one would believe things like this could happen.

If I tell anyone, I think they might send me to the mental asylum as soon as possible.

“Bommie, are you okay?” for the umpteenth time, MinYoung was asking me, her voice was laden with concern, “Do you want to share what is going on? What happened yesterday between you and SeungHyun? Why were you acting weird earlier this morning? What’s happening with you? And what’s this about you kissing Oppa?”

“I did not kiss him!” I said defiantly.

I contemplated on how I should avoid her burning question. I don’t think it was appropriate to share with her about my weird dream, that I had woken up that morning thinking that it was reality. When I thought back about how the kingkas were looking at me weird, I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks. That was beyond embarrassing to say the least.

“Err..I..”

Luckily, our History teacher, Mr. Song came in and I managed to avoid her piercing gaze by pretending to be interested in the textbook.

Phew!

*************************

“What do you mean you’re not going to the cafeteria?” MinYoung said, “Stop playing around, Bommie. Let’s go.”

“I can’t!” I said, “He’ll find me! I just can’t.”

MinYoung let out a laugh. “Don’t be silly,” she said, “Everyone knows that the Choi SeungHyun and friends don’t eat at the cafeteria. They have their own hangout spot, remember?”

That’s what I thought in my dream too but he still had found me.

“Just go,” I said, giving her a dismissive wave, “I’ll enjoy my corns here.”

MinYoung narrowed her eyes at me and before I knew it, I was dragged by the arm with full force by her towards the cafeteria. “Stop acting ridiculous, Bommie!” she snapped.

When she let go of my throbbing arm at the cafeteria, I shrieked. “You don’t understand! He’ll find me!”

“Stop being so ridi—” MinYoung gasped loudly, “Oh my God, Oppa’s here!”

“What?!” I hissed and when I turned to find him searching frantically for someone—me—I immediately did my best ninja move of hiding behind the wall to avoid being seen until the coast was clear for me to run away.

“What are you doing?!” MinYoung hissed, “You look crazy.”

“Shh.. don’t talk to me. Pretend that I’m invisible,” I said, “He must not see me.”

MinYoung nodded briefly and made her way towards the queue to buy her favourite disgusting cafeteria food. I discreetly looked around the cafeteria, scanning with my eyes of any sign of SeungHyun. Much to my relief, he was nowhere to be found and I started to smile.

“He’s gone, huh?” a voice asked me.

“Yes, thank God!” I replied excitedly.

When I turned to look at the owner of the voice, the smile left my face.

“You’re trying to get away from me again, aren’t you?” SeungHyun said.

I knew how it was going to end up. I had lived it once in my dream.

Umma, are you trying to make me suffer twice?

********************

It was horrible.

I had to live through the horrendous moment of being bullied by SeungHyun again.

Why oh why, even though I had tried my best to change my dream, everything still happen exactly the same?

What is my late mother trying to tell me by making me relive the whole thing twice? Was it some kind of a premonition? Was I going to become a fortune teller of some sort?

*Gasp*

Was it my destiny to become a fortune teller?

I pushed the silly thought aside. It just sounded absolutely stupid.

I mean, I still had ended up with a dead cockroach on my head at the end of the day although I had tried my best to avoid it. He had still asked me to take responsibility for ‘taking advantage’ of him and I still had to refuse since I didn’t want to humiliate myself by doing what he was going to ask me to do to Lee ChaeRin. The worse part of it all—just like in the dream—he still had forced his friends to make a rival corn stall beside mine.

So here I am, in what feels like déjà vu, standing at my own deserted corn stall, watching with envy at the long queue at the kingkas’ corn stall. Again, he had managed to make me envious of his successful marketing strategy of using his good looks.

“Come here, corn girl! Taste our sweet corns!” he called.

Yes, he had uttered the exact same words; I was hearing it for the second time. Well, technically in reality it was the first time he had called out to me to taste their sweet corns but still, it feels like the second time to me.

I made an ‘X’ with my hands, shaking my head vigorously to reject his tempting offer. I was determined not to be as stupid as I was in my bizarre dream.

“No?! Are you sure? What are you? Chicken?” he was taunting me, making chicken noises while flapping his arms. I guess he was imitating a chicken to further torment me.

Oh. My. God!

He did not just call me chicken!

Oh, this means war Choi SeungHyun. This means W.A.R.

I approached their stall with full strides, chin up and fist balled; I was a girl approaching the enemy. Upon seeing me advancing towards their stall, SeungHyun exchanged a sly smile with HeeChul who later handed him a cup. When I was standing right in front of him, before I could even utter a word to show my rage, he had shoved a spoonful of corn inside my mouth.

“Whff hsh maff..” then I tasted the heavenly taste of the corns and all of my anger miraculously disappeared, “Hmmm...”

“Tasty, isn’t it?” SeungHyun asked and handed me the cup.

“Delicious,” I said, taking the cup from his hand and eating the corns in a rush.

Then I heard SeungHyun’s loud cheer and the kingkas’ chorus of grunt.

“I win!! Pay me up!!” SeungHyun said cheerfully.

“Are you really hungry?” TaeYang asked.

“Seriously, I don’t even know why I even agree to this whole stupid thing,” HeeChul grumbled, giving me a glare as he did so.

 “Stop grumbling, HeeChul,” SeungHyun said, “Our customers are waiting. Pay up and get back to work.” His eyes practically twinkled when HeeChul handed him the money.

I let out a soft gasp.

Oh. My. God.

It was happening again!

I was beaten by this scheming kingka, again.

“Arghhh!!!” I screamed, pulling out my hair as I did so. The kingkas jumped a little, obviously startled by my outburst. It had caused quite a scene at their stall. Some of their customers were looking at me weird, some had fled the stall while others were taking my pictures with their cellphones. I think I was going to become a part of an Internet viral video soon.

SeungHyun grabbed my hand and led me away from the crowd. He let go once we were out of sight from those nosy customers. He crossed his arms across his chest and gave me a nasty stare. “What the hell are you doing, corn girl?!”

I was about to go into a full rage mode but something lurked inside my heart, like countless tiny needles poking my heart from all directions. When I looked up to see SeungHyun’s handsome face, something changed inside of me. Instead of anger, I felt something else. It didn’t take me long to figure out what I was feeling.

It was longing.

I had longed for my boyfriend, SeungHyun; the boyfriend in my sweet dream. I had longed for his kisses, his childish antics, his funny jokes, his awkward dance, his jealous moments; I had longed for everything about him.

It hurts, to be thinking that we had been so intimate and had gone through so much just to wake up to find that they were actually no ‘us’; that it was nothing but a dream.

I searched his eyes for some sense of familiarity, for the same sense of longing that I was feeling. Instead, I found out that his eyes were distant and blank; void of any emotions that I was feeling. Then it finally dawned on me that Choi SeungHyun really did not know me. I just had to accept the cold, hard truth.

Without even realizing it, tears were starting to well up in my eyes.

“Urm.. corn girl?” he sounded confused, probably confused by my sudden tears that appeared seemingly out of nowhere. I tried to wipe it away but it kept coming. I saw SeungHyun’s eyes softened as he approached me closer. He reached out a hand to wipe away the tears on my cheeks. “Are you—uh—are you okay?” he asked softly.

I shook my head, too embarrassed to even speak. What was I supposed to tell him—that we were lovers in my dreams? He would probably think that I was out of my mind.

“You—you—” I sobbed, “You don’t remember me.”

SeungHyun looked confused. “Of course I remember you, corn girl,” he said, “I told you I remember you from last night.”

I shook my head vigorously. “No!” I snapped, “You don’t remember me like the way I remember you.”

“Huh?” he was looking at me inquisitively, cocking his head sideways, “What do you mean?”

Okay, I know that in my dream, I didn’t know why I did it but this time around, I am pretty sure I knew what I was doing; trying to make him remember me—remember us.

I kissed him.

Yes, I, Park Bom had mustered up the courage to kiss my school’s most popular kingka, Choi SeungHyun. If it wasn’t for that weird dream, I