A pale, bony finger traced the rim of the glass over and over again, the owner watched the remains of the alcoholic orange, liquid swirl around in the bottom of his glass. His finger went on absently as he was wrapped up in his own thoughts. 

“Yah, you're too young to be drunk,” the bartender said -otherwise known as Baekhyun- his voice gave away that he was joking and his heavily rimmed eyes had a devious glint in them. He tapped on the counter in which the younger boy's head was resting, gave up after not getting even a little bit of movement as a response and moved on to look inside the house. There, Chanyeol was busy tending to a bar. 

'He's lucky he's warm and not outside in the cold...' Baekhyun thought with a pout. Contradicting his thoughts, his insides began to squeeze and he suddenly felt a sweet warmth around him when the taller smiled.

“What are you looking at-” the Sehun's slurred words stopped abruptly when he looked in the same direction as the other had. At first the latter was confused, trying to work out why there was such a sour, hurt expression on the drunk's face. But when he took one last look in the same direction, his eyes resting on a different place, perspective and angle, he sighed. 

“Sehun...” he muttered, trying to sound comforting but ended up cringing at the coldness in his voice. But the said boy didn't even notice, too busy watching as his hyung and a girl, whom his whole world revolved around, faces. 

“I know I shouldn't feel like this,” the words left his mouth slowly and quietly. He was oblivious to the fact that he even spoke, preoccupied in coping with the pain of his breaking heart. Baekhyun straightened up after hearing the sorrowful tone in younger's voice. “It was my fault. I pushed her away.” A bitter smile spread across Sehun's face as he forced himself to look away. “I deserve all this for being such a dickhead to her.”

Forgetting the other customers -not that were that many outside- Baekhyun rested his elbows on the counter and leant forward.

“That's what I don't get,” he said, “why did you act like that?” 

A simple shrug was his unsatisfying answer.

“I guess...because I loved her for such a long time?” 

“That makes no sense...”

The tipsy boy managed to sit up in his seat without dropping off and offered his hyung a sad smile. Finally a hint of emotion on his usually stone hard face. 

“She never showed any sign of liking me back, though everyone thought she was madly in love with me. More than I was with her. However, there would be times she would treat me like a same-ed friend, talking to me about boys and who she finds attractive. She thought it was fun, but I thought of it as torture.”

*Flashback* 

“Oh my god,” she gasped, her hair whipping around as she turned her head to face the direction they'd just come from. “Did you see that Chinese dude?” 

With a roll of his eyes, Sehun listened to his friend while she went on, talking about how hot and attractive Chinese people were and asking to no one in particular why there were only Korean guys in her school.

“How do you even know if he was Chinese?” 

“I heard him speaking to that girl in Chinese...urgh, she was probably his girlfriend...or wife...” 

“You know...” Sehun started, staring down at the fake sorrow in her eyes, “I'm Chinese.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but she just scoffed.

“You've done this so many times. You don't even know how to speak in-”

“Sure I do,” he started, getting her hopes up, “Bonjour.” And she burst out laughing, brushing his -lame- advances aside before linking arms. 

She didn't really have any special attachment to Chinese boys; Sehun could beat them all. Though it was all pointless, she enjoyed seeing to which lengths he would go for her attention. This of course was disclosed to no one but herself. 

They walked around Myeongdong like that for the rest of the day. 

*End*

“I still don't get you...” Baekhyun reached up onto the highest shelf, getting on his tip toes and stretching out his hand as far as he could go. He managed to touch the very bottom of a blue bottle and nudged it to the edge before bringing it down. If only Chanyeol had been there it would have all been easier. 

“Because I thought I was just burdening her and myself I thought it would better to move on from the small crush, especially since I didn't seem to have a chance,” he explained before bringing the container to his lips and downing the rest of his neglected drink. Drowning away his sorrows in it. Hoping his worries got pushed to the back of his mind just like the drink that had trickled to the back of his throat. 

“All I ever did was hurt her so she wouldn't find out my burdensome feelings for her. It's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go of, but it's even harder to force someone to stay when you know they want to leave. That's why I became even more of a ...so she could leave and so I would stop causing her so much pain...” 

Feeling a pinch of sympathy for his apathetic friend, he poured the liquid he'd brought down from the shelf into a new cup and offered it to him. Absently, he accepted and downed it all in one shot. 

'I saw her first,' Sehun thought, trying somehow to telepathically start a conversation with Luhan. 'I guess I should've told her how I felt. Maybe she would be in my arms instead of yours.' 

His heart felt like it was slowly breaking at the seams as he stared at Hye Sun, who had opted to drink by herself while Luhan was sorting out troublemakers. A smile would creep onto his face whenever she scrunched up her face due to the alcohol. Sehun grew a tad worried for her. She didn't get drunk very often and when she did it wasn't always that pleasant. 

Forcing himself to tear his eyes away, he rested his head in his hands and lamented over his ish love life. Not that he had much of one to start with. 

Why he never confessed his feelings? Her words had gotten to him. 

*Flashback*

“Stupid, isn't it?” she'd said one day. Everyone was busy gathering around -yet another- couple, pushing them together as they blushed shyly. 

“I thought you were all for this romantic ,” Sehun mumbled, stuffing a sandwich into his mouth, trying to muffle out the whiny tone in his voice. 

“Well, they'll break up obviously,” the roll of her eyes made him smile.

“You seem to know a lot about this kind of thing,” he joked, bumping their shoulder together, “which is ironic seeing as you can count the amount of boys you've dated with one hand, minus the thumb...and maybe the rest of your fingers too.”

“Yah!” her hand thumped against his arm. Sehun turned to her with a smirk but froze when he noticed her playful smile slowly fading and her gaze falling on something -or someone- on the other side of the playground. 

“It'll get awkward, especially with the amount of people crowding you, trying to get you to kiss or something 'scandalous' like that...” she mumbled, her tone seeming more distant. “Despite all that, they'll barely talk to each other and they'll begin to feel as if the other doesn't care until finally, after all that heartache, they'll break up. It's guaranteed, especially since we're only 12, heh...” 

Sehun remained silent, staring at the side of her face intently. Her eyes started to look glassy, making his heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest. No longer content with the lack of conversation, Hye Sun turned around and forced a smile. 

“See, I do have experience in this sort of thing,” she teased, sticking her tongue out. Sehun began to wonder how much it had hurt her to say that, but he was never one to share a sombre conversation if he could get out of it. 

“Maybe just because you watch other people's relationships,” he muttered under his breath, the regular snide remark or -slightly- mean joke feeling a little more forced than usual. But she didn't answer him, her gaze once returning to look at the boy across the sea of tarmac again. It hurt. But probably not as much as it hurt Hye Sun. 

“He doesn't deserve you,” Sehun's voice was clear and audible, but the shocked girl still wondered if she'd heard wrong. Only when she turned back to him, met his eyes and he said, “Just keep smiling, show him what he's missing but don't go back to him,” did she break out into a breath taking smile, her eyes scrunching up into little, sparkling crescents. “You'll be rewarded, with a boy  a thousand times better than him.” 

*End*

He let out a quiet chuckle. Even now he didn't understand how such sweet wourds could have come from him. It wasn't just Hye Sun who was so influenced by the other, in fact it was a little more severe the other way around. It was like he specifically re-wired himself for her. 

To everyone, it seemed liked that cliché story where two best friends would fall in love and never tell each other in case they ruin their relationship. But Sehun didn't want a cliché love story. He just wanted Hye Sun. He wanted to at least get his feelings across to her, no matter how much of a head he was. 

Even if she was already taken. He'd wasted enough time, at least telling her when they're drunk is better than when they're sober. 

Well, at least it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was the only source of encouragement he had in this otherwise doomed story as he stumbled out his chair and walked inside, much to the protest of Baekhyun. His resolve faltered slightly when he had managed to amble over to Hye Sun. When she turned and looked at him he was soon left with the urge to run away. 

'No,' he said to himself, 'you'll regret not telling her later. You always do.' 

"I love you."

And we all know what happened next.

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