❣ 9 ❣

June 2^nd, 2023

            After Mikyung’s mother’s funeral, she forgot how to smile again, how to be a carefree teenager, and how to simply enjoy living. Joonmyun always checked if she cut, and opted for her to use a red pen instead of a knife. There was to be at least some progress through that method.

            It wasn’t long before he didn’t know what else to do. And the bullying never helped.

            He heard people talk about how Mikyung caused her mother to pass out and die from over working. Others say her mom committed suicide just to be away from her.

            And those words were more painful than any of the punches he still experienced almost daily (mostly in the boy’s bathroom on the second floor of the science building).

            “Why do they still keep beating you up?” she whispered, brushing her fingers over a bruise under his left eye.

            Why do they still keep gossiping about you?, he would think as she proceeded to brush a type of ointment over some cuts under his lips.

            Winter break was when Mikyung was taken away on a trip with her father, causing her to sink further into misery, knowing she wouldn’t be able to see her best friend for a few weeks.

            Joonmyun called her every day, despite the cost of long-distance calling. He just had to work at a job that actually paid (since his mother rarely paid him at the coffee shop).

            And when the break ended, and he saw her at school, he did a double take when she smiled and ran towards him, nearly strangling him to death.

            He asked what happened. Mikyung simply replied, with a distant look in her eyes, that she and her father finally got to talk about some unresolved things. Despite the distance driven between them from her mom’s death, it was closed up (supposedly) during that vacation, and Joonmyun assumed that she was able to relieve herself of the grief and pain through her dad’s guidance.

            Yet that didn’t stop any of the constant bullying she received yet again, and her radiant smile that she returned with became a polite, small curve of the lips that barely rose higher than an almost imperceptible millimeter.

            Whenever she was hit with insults, and occasionally slapped, all Mikyung did was avert her eyes and smile her polite grin before trying to walk away. Eventually, she would manage to after being dragged back a few times to be slapped for her “rude” behavior.

            Even the light in Joonmyun’s eyes began to fade out slowly as the beatings become rougher for him. He heard it was because he still hung out with Mikyung. That was no reason for him. But that didn’t mean he could put up with the punches and kicks. So why didn’t he fight back? Always, he saw only worse consequences if he were to fight back.

            Both of them were still stuck in the never-ending cycle of torment and harassment. And neither could find the strength to breach away.

August 25^th, 2023

            “Coffee?”

            “You’ve never tried it before,” Joonmyun said, setting a cup in front of Mikyung with a pack of sugar and small pitcher of cream.

            She wrinkled her nose, already imagining the bitter taste that most people told her about. “What about… a green tea latte for today? And I’ll try coffee next time.”

            “You always say that.” He stuck out his tongue before sitting in front of her, serving platter sitting on his lap.

            It was a sweltering, late summer afternoon, the day before the next school year would start.

            The weird thing was that Joonmyun was put to work on that day, despite his pleas to just hang out for the last day of summer. His mother simply rolled her eyes before handing him an apron.

            “How do you always drink this?” mumbled Mikyung, picking up the small spoon off the saucer and ripping open a pack of sugar.

            “It keeps me awake to finish homework.”

            “Who’s homework?”

            Joonmyun didn’t answer.

            She stirred in the sugar before pouring in a small rivulet of cream. Her eyes lifted up to meet Joonmyun’s, and the sparkle she’d seen earlier was gone. The light in her own seemed to dissipate.

            Mikyung circled the spoon in her coffee a few more times before bringing the cup up to her lips and sipping. Immediately, she set it down and her nose crinkled again, this time in disgust. “It’s still so bitter with the sugar and cream!”

            Joonmyun smiled. “You get used to it.”

            Pushing the cup over to his side, she shook her head. “I’ll stick with green tea.”

            “That’s bitter, too.”

            “Not as much as this… devil’s drink.”

            He shook his head before drinking the pastel colored beverage, and flinched at the flavor. “You added too much cream.”

            “I’m not a coffee connoisseur like you.”

            Joonmyun smiled before standing up and taking the cup, cream, and sugar with him. “I’ll be taking this to the sink then.”

            “Joonmyun! Why aren’t you waiting on the customers?”

            He sighed. “And just in time, too… You know, you don’t have to stay here with me. It’s probably really boring…”

            Mikyung shook her head. “I’ll stay.”

            “Any reason for that?”
            “I like… it here,” she replied slowly, averting her eyes.

            Joonmyun gazed at her for a moment longer before nodding. “I’ll come back here when the tables clear up more.”

            “Take your time and don’t drop anything.”

            “I’ll try.” Joonmyun gave her a half smile before turning towards the opened section of the coffee shop, tucking the platter under his arm.

            Mikyung watched as he attended to a small family sitting close to a window. His lips were pulled up in a stiff smile that didn’t even reach the corners of his eyes.

            And she frowned, looking down at a spot of coffee that fell from the spoon earlier. Pulling a napkin from the dispenser, she wiped it away, watching as it stained it brown. It was like how bruises always seemed to stain Joonmyun’s pale skin.

            Letting her mind wander, Mikyung gazed out the coffee shop windows and into the busy city.

            How long ago was it that they met? Eleven years? That means eleven years (or more) of Joonmyun getting pummeled to the ground by classmates… eleven years of her being bullied as well.

            It was no wonder that the happiness was beginning to die in Joonmyun. Already, it had almost completely disappeared within her.

            But Mikyung had always seen Joonmyun as her cheerful, guardian angel, the one who always saw the bright side of things. But it’s only human of him to start thinking as she did. And she never wanted that to happen, never wanted him to doubt his own life, because he was always so strong. It was almost unimaginable for him to start falling.

            Fidgeting with her fingers, she couldn’t help but sigh at the dismal future she saw ahead of them. What would happen next year, then, when Joonmyun goes to college, and she has one more year of high school? What happens the year after? What if she doesn’t get into the same college as him?

            “Mikyung? Joonmyun wanted me to tell you to wait for him upstairs in the living room. The coffee shop is starting to fill up pretty quickly, so we might need this back section,” said Mrs. Kim apologetically. “I can bring up a glass of iced tea for you. And Joonmyun should be done in just a second.”

            “It’s fine, Mrs. Kim. I’ll head on up then,” Mikyung said, already standing up and grabbing her guitar case.

            Mrs. Kim patted her on the shoulder before walking back into the growing crowd in the shop.

            Mikyung trudged up the stairs and into the all-too familiar living room before sitting down on the white couch and setting her guitar down by her side.

            She glanced around the room and her eyes found a table of pictures, all in simply decorated picture frames. Mikyung stood up and walked over to them, and seeing that it was like a time-line of sorts, walked over to the left to start from the beginning.

            The first picture was of Joonmyun in his mother’s arms, probably on the day he was born. There was that strange fuzz on the top of his head, like every baby had, and it seemed to have a slightly lighter shade than his hair was now. His eyes were closed, and his small lips were curled up in a smile, the corners of his eyes also curved upwards.

            The next picture was after perhaps one year or two gaps from the last picture. Joonmyun was outside, sitting in the grass, with a toy car held awkwardly in his small, chubby hands. And there, again, was that childish smile of carefree happiness, reaching up to big, brown eyes.

            Each picture was of a smiling Joonmyun, playing with toys, running around, or simply sitting with his family. The smile was never absent. It was a smile that Mikyung had grown to know, to love, over the past several years. And though she could spot faint blue or purple blurs in some of the pictures on his bare arms, he was still smiling, brightly as ever.

            But the last picture was when the positive smiles ended. It looked as if it was taken while he was studying, with a book or two flipped open, papers scattered, and a notebook open with his pen pretty much glued to it. Joonmyun was looking up, facing the camera, and there was a smile on his face. But it didn’t reach his eyes. His lips didn’t curve up with ease. No teeth were showing in a carefree grin. His usually bright, chocolate eyes were dull, and the corners of his eyes were turned down. It looked like he was straining to smile. And just below his lower lip, you could see a cut just beginning to heal.

            “Mikyung?”

            She turned around to see Joonmyun walking towards her, apron slung over his shoulder.

            “Y-Yeah?”

            He saw her standing by the last picture, and walked towards her, looking at all of the small images displayed. “We became friends around the time of… this picture.” Joonmyun pointed to an image of him, dressed in the classic, elementary school uniform. His hands held onto the straps of his backpack, and though he looked shy with his slightly slouched shoulders and nervous eyes, happiness came along with the uneasiness, for he would be starting what seemed to be his first day of second grade.

            “You were so cute when you were little… What happened?” teased Mikyung.

            Joonmyun rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair without replying to her question. “Anything you wanna do now? My mom decided to give me the rest of the day off.”

            Mikyung glanced at her guitar, wondering if they should play another song. But realizing that’s all they’ve done the past few times they were together, she simply walked over to sit down on the couch, ignoring the instrument. “Let’s just talk.”

            He smiled and nodded, sitting down next to her. “It seems like just talking is an option many people don’t think about.”

            “Because several of them are too busy thinking that they have to be doing something more productive instead of just chatting.”

            So they talked as carefree as they could for an hour. The topics ranged from school, to home, to emotions, to their lives. From music, to applying for college, to the stress they felt, and the relief.

            But throughout the entire time, there was something lacking that never did before. And the sad thing was that they didn’t even notice.

            Usually, when friends are together, this is an often occurrence. But for them, it’s become even scarcer than before.

            There wasn’t a single string of laughter heard that afternoon.