❣ 10 ❣

February 14^th, 2024

            “Why?” asked Joonmyun, a curious look on his face.

            “Until you actually get a real valentine, I’ll give you chocolates,” said Mikyung, handing him the small bag of chocolates. Her heart was beating quickly, anxious to wonder whether he would actually take that excuse.

            And gladly, he did. Taking the bag from her hands, he opened it to pull out a flat heart of chocolates, slipping the candy into his mouth. “Thanks, Mikyung.”

            She smiled and nodded, breathing a quiet sigh of relief.

            “Let’s go to class. We’ll be late,” he mumbled, smiling.

            No, they’d be half an hour early. But it helped to escape the hallways, the taunting they knew they would get for the rest of the day. Why start it all early in the morning?

            Joonmyun walked Mikyung to her class first, glad that they only managed to pass one early student who didn’t care to even look their way. After ruffling her hair lightly and promising to finish the chocolates, he left to find his way towards his own class, walking in the shadows of the hallways.

            Yet, as they both got to their assigned seats, a grim sight met their dull eyes. Letters were scrawled crudely on their desks in pink and red paint, marring the smooth, pale surface. Chocolate syrup that had dried over night stuck onto the desk, flowing down the sides, and onto the ground in grotesque puddles. It was like a Halloween version of Valentine’s Day.

            And the words they both read were, “Freak couple, just leave our school or jump off the roof. We don’t need you here to ruin our Valentine’s Day.”

            Mikyung grimaced and set her bag down beside the desk before turning to go to the bathroom and grab towels. She would have to get rid of all of it before the teacher gave her detention for vandalizing school property.

            Joonmyun glared at the harsh sight and stalked out of the classroom to get cleaning materials.

            The two caught sight of each other just outside the two bathrooms.

            “Mikyung…”

            She shook her head and pushed the door into the bathroom, causing Joonmyun’s frown to deepen.

            Neither managed to clean before the teacher walked into the classroom. They stayed after school for two hours, sweeping and cleaning hallways on opposite sides of the campus.

            And just as Joonmyun finished with one hallway, he was shoved into the boys’ bathroom. You could hear the harsh punches, slams into the wall, and the snickers of those who had succeeded in giving their weekly beating.

❣❣❣

            “Do you have time to come to the coffee shop with me?” asked Joonmyun as they stood by the bus stop, waiting for it to arrive. He shifted his backpack off his now bruised shoulder, clenching his teeth to avoid wincing.

            “Do I ever anymore?” She bitterly smiled.

            “But will you anyways?”

            “Don’t I always?”

            The corners of his lifted and he nodded.

            After twelve minutes, the bus pulled up, allowing the two to sluggishly climb on. They headed towards the back and sat down in the half full bus. The trip was somberly quiet.

            Mikyung’s eyes were constantly focused on the streets, watching the dreary scene pass by. Joonmyun’s eyes were trained on her depressed expression; his mind was hopelessly trying to strive for a way to lift it away from her… as well as himself. When they’re eyes met through their reflections in the window, they could see the same darkness looming in their eyes.

            She could see the bruise starting to blossom under the skin of his forehead. Mikyung barely understand how the sting of a punch would feel, but her fingers subconsciously reached up to touch her cheek, which was often abused.

            Joonmyun could see a depression grow within the depths of her once bright, cheerful eyes. He could barely even remember what she looked like when she was happy, but he strived to hold onto the fading memory.

            His hand reached over to hold hers and give it a reassuring squeeze just as the bus reached their stop.

            The two immediately got off and walked towards the near coffee shop.

            Mrs. Kim looked up from the counter and smiled as the two entered. “Hey, you two! Getting back a bit late now, aren’t we?” She gave no time for their answer. “I have some drinks and food sitting up in the living room for you two.”

            “How did you know I was coming over?” asked Mikyung quietly.

            “Well, let’s just call it a good guess. Go head up now. Joonmyun, you don’t have to work today.”

            “Thanks.” He nodded to her before leading Mikyung up the stairs, the two immediately heading to the living room.

            “What did you want to do today? Homework?”

            Joonmyun shook his head. “I mean, later, but I wrote another song.”

            “I don’t have my guitar though…”

            “You can just sing with me, then.”

            “But I can’t sing.”

            He smiled. “I know you really can. Give me a second to go find it.” Joonmyun left to his room to grab the lyrics.

            Mikyung sighed and glanced down at the cookies set on the coffee table. Each one was a vanilla cookie, shaped as a heart with red or pink frosting. A small smiled graced her lips at the cute cookies, wondering why she couldn’t have made something like this for her best friend.

            “Mikyung?”

            She looked up and nodded as he walked back in, carrying a small notebook. He sat down beside her on the couch and flipped through the pages, each one containing lyrics from over the past few years.

            “You could really become a successful singer-songwriter in the future,” muttered Mikyung, scanning briefly over some pages.

            Joonmyun hummed in response, reaching the latest filled up page.

            “Baby?” asked Mikyung, confused at the title.

            “It just came to mind at the moment.” He shrugged. “I’m not really sure why I titled it that way.”

            “Will you sing it?” she asked, folding her hands in her lap.

            “You won’t sing with me?”

            “Next time.”

            “Promise?”

            She nodded.

            He smiled.

            “This moment when I’m closing my eyes to pray

            I will hug the heart in you slowly.

            Today is a one time chance, my first footstep I take.

            I will promise I’m going to do good,

            Happily as expected I, as predicted.

            Us two’s own dream, that first step.”

            He stopped abruptly in the middle and bit his lower lip. “I’m still working out the rest of the lyrics… but I guess today was as good as any to show you the start of it.”

            “And like always, they’re amazing,” Mikyung replied, smiling. “Will you always be writing songs and showing them to me?”

            “Always. That shouldn’t have even been a question.”

            Mikyung nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder lightly, flipping through the worn out notebook. “We’ll both become successful musicians someday.”

            “We’ll both be famous and travel the world, and leave all of this behind us,” he mumbled.

            They stayed in the position silently for a few minutes, with only the sound of flipping pages filling up the room.

            “Do well in college next school year,” she muttered. “And make lots of friends, Suho.”

            “I’ll do well,” he replied, though he didn’t know whether he was answering to her first, or second sentence.

            “Make it really a fresh start… and I’ll meet you there a year later.” Mikyung frowned and knew that if he were to really have a new start, she couldn’t be there with him. But she knew he’d reject the idea of not being her friend. So she had to lie. But her heart hurt, knowing that in a few months, he’d be out of her life.

            They both had to start a fresh new life, one that would help them leave behind their pasts. Mikyung had already been thinking of this since Joonmyun sent in his first college applications. She already knew that they wouldn’t be together as often, they would lose contact, and they would drift apart.

            And when these thoughts first hit her, she cried quietly into her pillow that night. But over a few months, she accepted it, and knew that it would benefit them both to break free of their pasts once they entered college.

            “Is that a promise?”

            Mikyung hummed. It sounded like a yes to Joonmyun. It was an open answer for Mikyung. She couldn’t tell whether she’d regret this, but she knew it was something that was worth it. They couldn’t keep living in this dark, empty ditch for the rest of their lives.

June 6^th, 2024

            “Congratulations, Joonmyun,” said Mikyung, handing him a bouquet of flowers. The familiar yet strange name rolled off her tongue nicely.

            He smiled when she said his real name and hugged her, his long robe blanketing her before he pulled away. “Just a year till you graduate.”

            She nodded and pasted on a smile. “Come on. Your parents are probably waiting for you outside of this massive crowd.”

            As she walked him to his parents, she couldn’t help but feel that sting in her heart, the tears attempting to push their way from her eyes down her cheeks. But she couldn’t. It was the day when Joonmyun was finally freed from their hellhole.

            “You’re coming to dinner with us, right? Your father is invited as well,” said Mr. Jung, smiling brightly and patting his son on the back.

            “Of course,” said Mikyung, nodding politely. “My dad has a meeting, but he wanted to tell you congratulations, also, Suho.”

            He smiled and told her to thank her dad. She nodded in reply, listening to the family continue to speak of Joonmyun’s open future.

            The whole time, she tried to take in as many of Joonmyun’s features as she could, memorize them, and stitch them into her heart.

            She would be traveling with her father this summer. By the time she got back, Joonmyun will have moved into his dorm already. And their story will end.

            Joonmyun’s eyes, which had been dull and dark for so long, had a tiny spark lighting them up today, turning black into chocolate brown. The smile on his face almost reached his eyes, causing his cheekbones to lift slightly.

            Mikyung could already feel the pain of pulling away from him. She could feel a knife beginning to dig into her skin, and she had to clench her teeth to stop the tears from flowing from her eyes.

            This was Joonmyun standing in front of her. He was the boy who helped her get back onto her feet since she was six. He was the one who always encouraged her in everything she did. He was the guy who wouldn’t leave her side for a whole school year just because she had gotten slapped for the first time (and even after much persistence, was barely worriless while away from her). He was the one who would try to make her laugh again and never gave up. And even after falling into a depression like hers, he never stopped trying to make her smile.

            It was no wonder that she had fallen into this deep sea known as love. But she had to tear away from her feelings for him and let him walk through the rest of his life with better people. She had to let him go and live happier.

            Yet, as the family turned to walk towards their car, and Joonmyun called for her to follow, a tear slipped from her left eye while they turned their backs briefly from her. No, she couldn’t feel happy for him. She should have, because he was going to be better off this way. But she couldn’t feel happy because she’d be prying herself away from her best friend.

❣❣❣

            They pulled up to Mikyung’s house to drop her off, and Joonmyun walked her to the front door.

            “When are you leaving again? Tomorrow?”

            Mikyung nodded. “My dad wants us to start the vacation early so we can go to as many places as we can. I’ll be gone early in the morning.”

            “I’ll say bye to you now, then?” asked Joonmyun, still smiling.

            “Yeah…”

            “I guess I won’t be seeing you for a while… but I’ll hang out with you before school starts up again.”           

            She only nodded, clenching her teeth.

            “You alright? You look pale, Mikyung,” said Joonmyun, his hand touching her forehead.

            “Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled. “Joonmyun.”

            His eyes widened barely at his name but nodded. “What?”

            “What would you do if you never saw me again?”

            For a second, only silence filled the air between them. And he laughed. “What are you talking about, Mikyung? I’ll see you in a few months.”

            She faked a laugh. “R-Right… what am I saying?”

            “You’re getting tired,” he said, ruffling her hair. “Don’t miss me too much.”

            “I’ll try not to.”

            “I’d better go now. Time will fly by and we’ll see each other again real soon.” Joonmyun smiled and hugged her, rubbing her back gently.

            As if subconsciously, Mikyung muttered, “Love you, Joonmyun.”

            His body tensed for a second before he thought she meant as friends. Joonmyun chuckled quietly before replying, “Love you, too, Mikyung.” He pulled away, but just as he did so, he felt her lips brush against his cheek, and a light blush dusted his cheeks.

            When she quickly said good night and went inside, he convinced himself he must’ve imagined it.

            Pulling out his phone, Joonmyun sent a quick text to Mikyung.

Since when did you stop calling me Suho?

            As she walked up the stairs to her room, she heard her cell phone ring once and pulled it out, glancing at the message. A wall was broken down, and the tears began to freely fall from her eyes.

            Mikyung didn’t reply to Joonmyun’s message.