Choice of Song: Tears by Leessang & Seeya 

I did not see this coming. You are not trying to avoid my question. You answer it straightaway without a single doubt. 

I thought. 'Ah, you must have trusted me this much. Telling me so easily, no hesitation at all.'

Of course, I know you would never lie about this, or anything else. Well, except for Running Man mission, you never failed to fool anyone. 

All of a sudden, my mind just go blank although I have expected this as one of the potential answers that I have thought about earlier then. This is certainly the reason that is adequate to explain your unusual change in behaviours lately. You asked me not to tell anyone, not even the other members, as you look at me with a serious face. I promise to keep this as a secret. Even it is 'this' secret, I would never want to break any promise that I have made with you.

But you will never understand how difficult it was for me to fake that smile and congratulate you. That moment when you shake my hand and say, "Thank you."

Not long after that day, your dating news broke out when a dating photo of you and your CEO goes viral online. Perhaps, I am trying too hard to act calm when all my friends call to check on me if I was feeling okay. Almost everyone I know ask me whether I already knew about you dating before the photos come out. I just reply them in a cool manner telling them not to worry much about me. I doubt if they would ever believe that.

As I put down the phone, I try to reorganise the messy thoughts that got all tangled up in my head.

"Running Man has always been my job. Yes."

"..and Monday Couple is part of the job. Another yes."

 "Monday Couple is no longer in my job description huh..." I mumbles.

While people are still uncertain about the rumours, you make a public announcement to confirm that the news is true almost immediately after the photos surfaced on the Internet. I do not know what to do or what else can I do. I just lose the only reason to be by your side. Other reasons are never good enough.

I can only stare mindlessly at my laptop screen while I am lying on my bed. 

"Ah, Monday Couple is really over now, hasn't it?"

My vision become blurry. I could not hold back my tears any longer as I close my eyes, hoping to get some sleep tonight.

Monday Couple is currently in a 'break up' stage. PDs no longer place us together in the same group to avoid unnecessary affairs from happening. I am constantly pairing up with other female guests. I accept the arrangement because this would be the best for all of us as for now. Besides, member never tease us or mention much about Monday Couple. I am a little upset about that.

Sometimes, I still cannot control myelf and say thoughtless things such as druken myself for 3 days and cried alone (due to the 'break up'). Other members are all panicking at those times, not knowing what to do but to laugh awkwardly. I regret later for putting them in such difficult position. How could I be so foolish, causing these pointless misunderstandings. I continue to blame myself.

I do not know if I did it out of true intention or not, now I could not be that sure with myself either. The only thing that I am clear is I think I am still not over you!

I never knew that one day standing right beside you will ever become an unreasonable desire of mine. You are now out of my reach. I remind myself to keep a distant with you, to talk appropriate words, to keep my feeling to myself, trying to remember all of them for a million times deep down in my heart. You have been acting awkwardly around me yet pretended that you are not. It is unbelievable that you look cute to me even under this circumstance. How could you not know how obvious you have been and also that you cannot fool me with these acts. I cannot bear to see you being this uncomfortable with me as if we were back to the first episode we had our filming together for the very first time.

But, how can this be the same, this situation is incomparable with the earlier one. My heart aches more as I reaffirm myself that it will never be the same yet I am now too powerless to make any move.

The atmosphere is so tense. The air becomes so heavy that it might be difficult for me to breathe. I can persistently feel the pain on the left side of my chest.

I have a hard time to think of a good title for this chapter... Comment > <

Update: finally I got my fanfic poster up, took me quite awhile to finish it. But it was still fun!

OMG, the pic is kinda huge, isnt it? Lolz

i hope to edit some pictures for each chapter. Let's see how things go.

Have a nic3 day!