[Myungsoo POV]

I wake up in couch at the living room. Why did I end up here? Ah…right. I got a nightmare last night. I remember I run out of my room and Hara found me. Wait, where is she? I remember she was sitting on the chair in front of me. Now the chair is empty. I get up and sit on the couch. It’s 10:20. I look at the calendar that hanging in the living room. 15^th June. So it’s 15? That’s mean it will be so crowded this day. This ward has a special day every month. In date 15 on every month all the patients are allowed to be visited by their family and relatives. Only once a month. Mostly the patients in this ward is young people or teenager, so they have their family and guardian come for them every month.

To be honest, I’m not really expecting this day. My mom always come every month, sometimes she comes with my dad. But, it doesn’t make me feel good. Seeing them just reminds me about all the bad things that I ever done, to them…and to Hyunsoo. That’s why when they come to visit me, I just sit across them and keep silent. Not even saying any word. Because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do.

Patients meet their visitors in the hall room. It’s a big room in the second floor. There’s a lot of chair and table. Somehow it looks like school cafeteria. Actually that place is nice and comfortable. I walk upstairs to the hall. I see from the hall's window that the room is already filled with some visitors. My mom isn’t there yet. Usually she comes after mid-day, almost afternoon. I see some guards are busy arranging the patients and their visitors. Some scenery caught my eyes. I see a girl with the long red hair sitting across a young man with a blue navy blazer. They talk comfortably. She looks happy. I wonder who he is. I watch them from the hall’s door.

[Author POV]

Hara smiles widely after seeing his brother. Woohyun give her a hug. He smiles at her sister, but somehow he got distracted by her hair color.

“You’re not gonna do anything with you hair?” He said while ruffled that red hair.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” .

“It’s red!” 

“What’s wrong with red?” She glances at him.

“It’s weird! Don’t you see that?” He shouts again, more like nagging her.

“Heiishh…it’s my style…I’m not a mainstream person, what’s wrong with red hair? You’re the one who’s old fashioned.” She said calmly.

“What do you say?” He asks. His sister always had this harsh words.

“What about this blazer? Are you trying to look cool?” 

“I’m cool. I don’t even need to try.” He chuckles.

“You’re greasy. Stop it, and go get girlfriend instead.” 

“You don’t know how many girls that have been fight for my attention. You’ll be surprised if you know.”

“Ya! You’re almost 26! Stop playing around! Find a serious girl… Don’t just dating randomly.” .

“Don’t ‘Ya!’ me…I’m your older brother. You should call me ‘oppa’, not nagging me like old grandma. And so, I’m not playing around, I’m just go with the flow.” 

“Haishhh…seriously. Dad will be mad if he sees you act like this.” She said. Then they both laugh. They're always have this 'harsh' conversation. Eventhough there's 6 years gap in their age, but they always talk comfortably.

“How’s your day here, sister?” Woohyun asks.

“It’s good actually. I’m little bit worried if I’m gonna get too comfortable being here.” 

“Only if you don’t wanna go to college.” He teases her.

“I’ll go. I told you, right? I am fine. Really. I don’t need help. I’m the same Hara, your spoiled little sister.” She says calmly.

“Hara-ya…actually you don’t need to…”

“Woohyunnie…” Hara cut his words. “I know you don’t believe in me right now. That’s why I’m doing this. I’m gonna prove it to you, that I’m alright…so you and dad will believe me later. I want to make you believe that I’m the same Hara that you carried on your back on the way home from school everyday. I’m that same girl that listening to your story and hug you while you cry over the break up with your first love.” She said.

“Ya! You don’t need to remind me of that!” Woohyun laughs.

“Hahahaha…anyway, you don’t bring me any present?” 

“What? You’re expecting present?” .

“What is it? You don’t bring anything? Wah…you’re unbelievable.” She looks disappointed.

“Ah…sorry. I’m just too busy, you know. I forget. I’m gonna bring you something next time.”

“Seriously, you’re a bad brother.” She shouts. Woohyun smile and looks at her in 'sorry mode'.

“Hey…you know that guy?” Woohyun points at someone who's wtanding in the hall's door.

“What guy?” Hara turns around and looks at the door.

“That guy…the one who stands on the door. I saw him looking here from minutes ago. Do you know him?”

“Ah…he’s my neighbor. Kim Myungsoo.” Hara says.

“Don’t you think he’s little bit weird?” Woohyun asks.

“What do you mean? It’s a mental institution. You can find dozens weird people here.” She laughs. Woohyun smiling. She's right...there are a lot of people like that in this place.

“But he’s cute. Are you being friend with that guy?” He .

“Ummm…kinda.”  She answers with smile.

[Myungsoo POV]

I was about to leave the hall, when a creepy voice shocks me.

“Boo! What are you doing here?” I startled a little. It was Hara. Her annoying and messy red hair just makes a perfect combination with her wide foolish smile.

“Just…looks around.” I said. Then I just walk out of the hall toward the stair and she’s following me.

“You don’t have anyone coming for you?” 

“I don’t know. You?” I don't know why I suddenly ask about her.

“My brother just left.” She said. Oh, so that was her brother, I thought. We reach the first floor that leads us to the corridor. She’s still following me like a lost puppy. The weird thing is, I don’t mind being followed. From the corridor I walk to the door that leads us outside to the park with cherry blossom tree. I don’t know why this place is nice and comfortable. I sit on the green grass under the tree and she’s doing the same. Her messy red hair is just waving because of the breeze.

“It’s a very nice spot.” 

“Hmm…” I agree.

“When I was kid, Woohyunnie and I used to come to this kind of place near our grandma’s house in Hokkaido. There was a small park near the lighthouse. It always has nice and gentle winds. We used to play kites there until sunset. He was bad at flying kite. I was better than him. It was so fun. I wonder how fast the time goes by. Now we’re not kids anymore. He’s 26…and I’m here. And our fun episodes when we’re kids just end up being memories.” She's talking a lot like she's always do. I saw her lay her head on the grass and looks above at the sky.

I’m listening to her story. I don’t know why but I like listening to her story. Actually she just telling some simple random story, but it feels honest and it makes me calm. I remember I used to come to this kind of park too when I was a kid…with Hyunsoo. We always play in the park every Sunday morning. We’re playing soccer, flying kites even making bubbles and just having laughter. It was fun. Now it’s just a memory. A fading memory.

“It’s sad isn’t it? Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” She said.

“Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. Everything’s change. We can do nothing.” I suddenly say those thinngs and making her surprised.

“Wow, you talk.” She smiles while looking at me.

“Of course I am.” I smirks.

“But you know what? I think there’s must be some certain things that stood still. Eventhough everything change, there’s always some part that feel the same. Woohyunnie and I might be grown up. He’s now a financial analyst who makes a lot of money, and I’m a mental patient who tries to prove her own sanity. But he’s still my brother. He’s still greasy and mischievous. He still can’t beat me at playing kite. And he’s still a failure in front of woman. Somehow he’s still my dumb but good-looking brother, and I’m still his annoying and arrogant little sister. That part doesn’t change.” She says while smiling.

I listen to what she just said and suddenly I freeze. Somehow her words make me feel a slight pain in my heart and I don’t know why. I try to remember what part of my life that doesn’t change. What part in my life that still stays the same? I don’t get the answer, until a nurse come to me and saying that my mom has come to visit me.

I walk to the hall with an ambiguous mind. My mom always comes every month, but we never had conversation, because I didn’t say any single word. Mom always did the talking. She tells some story about our neighborhood, about my dad workplace, about new puppy that she had, even about Kim Bum-Soo, her favorite singer. But I never responded. So the visiting hours just end up with me being silent and my mom being hurt because I didnt say anything to her.

I enter the hall and see my mom sitting in the corner. She’s smiling at me. I walk towards her slowly. I sit across her without saying anything. She begins to talk.

“You’ve been doing well, right? Myungsoo-ya, omma miss you…” She says. I don’t say anything. I just looks down on the table, I don’t even dare to look her in the eye. Suddenly she takes something from her bag. There is a lunch box. I look at the box as she put in on the table.

“Today, omma went to crab market. Do you know it’s the blue crabs season? I remember how you used to like crab. So I made a crab kimbab for you. It was your favorite food, right?” She opens the lunch box and revealed a very well-made crab kimbab that she made. I’m little bit surprised, then I realized that she always do the same every month. She always brought me my favorite foods everytime she comes. But I never realized it. She always remembers what I like from I was kid. The pain in my chest comes again. This is the part that doesn't change in my life.

She hands me chopsticks and I take it. I hold to the chopsticks tightly as my eyes look at the crab kimbab on the table. Suddenly my hands trembling and the chopsticks that I hold is falling. A tear roll down from my eyes, making my mom shocked. Then she come towards me and holding my shoulder.

“Myungsoo-ya…what’s wrong?” She looks worried as I begin to sobs. I looks above at her face. Now, she can see my teary face.

“Omma…I’m sorry.” I say with hoarse voice as I start crying hard and she hugs me tight. She rubbed my back without saying anything as I continue to cry in her embrace.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” I said.

That’s the first time I say something to her after every month she visited me. Memories and thoughts age, just as people do. But certain thoughts can never age, and certain memories can never fade. I know it now. My mom’s love for me doesn’t change.

[Hara POV]

I walk along to corridor. I was going to my room when suddenly a nurse calling me.

“Hara-ssi…” She walks towards me while bringing a small box in her hand.

“Yes?”

“There’s something for you.” She comes and gives me the box. I received it with question.

“What is it?”

“Ahh…this is from your brother. A while ago he asked me to give it to you.”

“Oh…thank you.” I say to her as she leaves. I smile looking at the box. I got the curious and exciting feeling. ‘Ah...Woohyun is seriously playing with me. He said he didn’t get me present while ago.’ I mumbling. I bring the box to my room and open it slowly. I smile widely as I know what’s inside. 1Q84. Haruki Murakami’s new book. The only one that missing from my collection. He knows how much I want this book.

I can’t stop smiling as I open the book’s page. Then I discover there’s a card inside the pages. A card with Woohyun’s handwriting.

“A person learns how to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else.”

– Hara-ya…you will learn how to love, right?”

I smile as I muttering… “I guess.”