[Mungsoo POV]

I find myself standing in the backyard behind a white-painted house. How did I end up here? Last time I remember, I was drown myself in the bathtub after finished the whole bottle of cold medicine. Wait? This place is familiar. I know this place. I've been here.

It’s my house. I remember it was painted white when I was a kid. I’m still busy figuring about what happen when suddenly two kids running in front of me. They're run and giggle. They’re running around happily while holding a plastic bag. Suddenly, I’m frozen. I know those kids. I know them. 

[No One POV]

“Myung… Stop running! We need to finish this soon.” Hyunsoo trying to stop his brother from running around the yard.

“Argh…But it is fun.” Myungsoo keeps laughing.

“Come on, we can play again later. Let’s plant this here first.” Hyunsoo open the plastic bag and take something from there.

“Why appa ask us to plant flower?” Myungsoo finally sit near his brother that now is busy digging the ground with scope.

“Because we did something bad.” 

“Ruining grandma’s orchid? It was an accident.” Myungsoo pouted.

“Still…the orchid is dead. This is our punishment.”

“Well this is a ridiculous punishment. I don’t know why grandma likes orchid, anyway. The flower is not too pretty and it easily dies. Why not plant something else?” Myungsoo said while helping his brother digging.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Cherry blossom tree maybe? It has strong branch, it’s gonna be tall and the flower is pretty.” Myungsoo said, making his brother laughs.

“You sound like a girl who loves flower.” 

“I’m not. I’m just saying.” Myungsoo grumbling. Then they're laughing. Hyunsoo put the orchid seeds in the ground.

“But Hyun…why do you get this punishment too?” Myungsoo suddenly said.

“Umm? What do you mean?”

“I mean I was the one who ruin the orchid, not you. Why do you take the punishment with me?” Myungsoo asks again.

“Because you’re my brother. We have to be together.” Hyunsoo smiles. Those two kids laughing again, before they start running around the yard. They were happy, just like other 8 years old kid. 

Myungsoo looks at both two kids who now are giggling while done planting the flower. They’re happy. He was happy. A single tear falling from Myungsoo’s eyes. Suddenly a figure stands beside him, also looking at the two kids.

“You were such a girl back then, right?” He said.

“Hyun…” Myungsoo looks at his brother in shock.

“It’s been a long time, Myung…” 

Hyunsoo sits in the grass and smile. Myungsoo still can’t believe in what he sees right now. He finally sits beside Hyunsoo, who’s now looking at him warmly.

“Am I dead?” Myungsoo asks. Maybe he's indeed dead...

“I don’t know. Do you?” 

“I’m not sure.” 

“Me too. I just wanna talk to you and suddenly I saw you here. Don’t you glad to see me?” Hyunsoo smiles.

“Of course…I’m glad.” Mungsoo answers. 

“We were happy, right? We had the best childhood memories. We were growing up well. We have loving parents, friends, family…even we had a lot of girl admiring us when we’re in high school. Remember those whole bunch of chocolate that you always got every valentine?” Hyunsoo starts the conversation. Myungsoo smiles as his mind remembering those days.

“You gotta be kidding me.” 

“I’m serious. You were Casanova Kim Myungsoo. I mean, we're both good-looking, but you were more popular than me.”

“But you’re the smart one. The model student who always be the best in everything. I was just a trouble maker.” Myungsoo chuckles

“That’s why you got a lot more fan girls. I guess it’s because you have that ‘chic bad-boy’ look.” Hyunsoo teases.

“Funny, I’m the bad boy but still…you’re the one who’s always protecting me.” Myungsoo throws a gaze to his brother. The later just smiles and take a deep breathe.

“Why? Why did you always protect me?” Myungsoo asks while looking at Hyunsoo's eyes.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I don’t understand, Hyunsoo-ya.”

“It’s a nature, Myung… there’s no reason for this. I protect you because, that’s who I am. You’re my brother and I will always be on your side. I don’t even mind to sacrifice.” Hyunsoo says calmly, making Myunsoo confused.

“Even if I hate you back then?”

“Even if you hate me. I don’t mind... Not at all." Hyunsoo says. "That’s why now... you need to stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“All of this. Your guilt, your anger, your pain. I get it all. It’s heartbreaking for me to see. Because you got it all because of me.” Hyunsoo stares.

“I was the one who’s…”

“At fault? No. Not that Myung… I get it, you feel guilty. But this not  your fault that I die. Nobody’s blame you.”

“I know. I get it. I just can't accept it. Why did you die and I live? You were so much better than me. You’re more worthy.”

“You don’t think you’re worthy?” Hyunsoo asks while his brother just looks down to the ground.

 "Myungsoo-ya, you may not realize that. But you’re loved. So loved. You've been blessed with many love.”

"I know. I really know that. I don't wanna feel this way too. But it keeps happening...the pain. And it's so hard to do it all alone. Now after there's no one that protect me. I hate this feeling....so, sometimes I hope I don't have to feel anything."

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, not even me. And you’re right, living alone is no help. That’s why you have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart.  And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don't believe it. Be brave. Be strong. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.”

"But it's painful..."

"Pain is a pesky part of being human, something we wish we could all do without in our lives. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then human have also learned that because of pain, we can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing."

"You sound like a priest. Like always." 

"I'm not a priest. I'm just reading it from some books to sound wise." Hyunsoo said honestly, making Myungsoo laughs. Even till now his brother still has his humour.

"Hyunsoo-ya? Have you ever hate me?" Suddenly that thought appear in Myungsoo's mind.

"Of course I have. You're annoying sometimes." Hyunsoo jokes.

"Do you hate me now?"

"Not even a bit."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't have you, I will never get such a beautiful memory of life. It's because of you, Kim Myungsoo, that I had such an amazing life. I want you to know that. And I want to thank you for that." Hyunsoo smiles, making Myungsoo surprised. But then he's smiling too. Now he knows it. Her brother loves him, just as much as he loves him.

"Thank you...Hyunsoo-ya... I'm sorry for making you sad."

"Save your thanks and sorry to those people."

Suddenly the view that Myungsoo's see just changed, like a scene in a movie. Now he's in a hospital. He can see his mom and dad, talking to the doctor. His mom were crying, but she seem to hold it on. His dad just holding his mom's hands. He doesn't say anything. But Myungsoo can see that his dad trying to be strong.

"Mianhae...appa...omma." He said while looking at them. Then Myungsoo looks inside the room. He find his unconsious body lying with a lot of drip attached in his body. There's someone sits beside his bed, holding his hand, and looking at him with a warm gaze. It's Hara. She's there with him...smiling at him. 

"Hey, you can hear me right? I know maybe after you wake up, you're gonna yell and angry at me, because I wasn't pick up your call. I'm sorry. You can scold me as much as you can. Don't you want to scold me? I promise I'm not gonna interrupt or slap your cheek. I'm gonna listen to your every story, okay. That's why...that's why....just wake up. Just wake up and be annoying person like you always be. Maybe we can fight again, or playing guitar and piano, or just quoting Haruki Murakami's book, or even watching sunrise. We'll do anything that you want. That's why...you have to wake up....And by the way...I love you Myungsoo-ya."

Myungsoo looks at Hara who's now kissing his hand. She's in tears, but she's smiling. She try so hard to smile, so that Myungsoo will be happy.

"I love you too." Myungsoo said in tears.