- 1:37 am -

“Ririn...”

“...Wha...? Who's there...?” I rubbed my eyes diligently and rolled over the bed. “...I'm... tired...” I mumbled with a yawn.

“Ririn, it's me. Tae Yang.”

Funny. I thought I heard someone say Tae Yang... I rolled over again then pulled the blanket over my head.

“Hey, Ririn... Wake up, I wanna show you something. Open your eyes.”

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Everything's so dark and hazy. There's a faint figure... Though I can't really put my finger to who it is...

Hmm... Mohawk...? Definetely Tae Yang.

“Hmm... Tae Yang...? What are you doing here...?”

Then it hit me like a bullet.

My eyes opened as wide as saucers. My breathing quickened. My heart was about to bounce off of my chest.

In front of me, RIGHT in front of me, was the smiling angel.

“TAE Y—!” I was cut of by a hand abruptly shutting my mouth.

“Shh,” Tae Yang looked at me with his index finger up to his lips. “Keep it down. The rest of the guys are sleeping.”

“What are you doing here?!” I whispered once he moved his hand away. “Aren't you suppose to be asleep?”

“I have insomnia.” The man simply replied. “Now, get out of bed. I wanna take you somewhere.”

“Now?”

Who in the right mind would go out at one in the morning?

That's right, Tae Yang, and I as soon as I get my out of the bed. I groggily sat up and stretched my arms out. Then, I jumped out of bed and glanced at the man with tired eyes. “Let's go,”

“Aren't you going to get changed?” Tae Yang's eyes examined my nightwear from up to down.

Why not? There's nothing wrong with going out in neon yellow shorts and one of T.O.P's pink slash yellow slash blue BAPE camo hoodies.

“There's no point,” I shrugged. “Let's go.”

Tae Yang smiled in content. “Fine, but it's going to be pretty cold where we're going.”

“I'm sure I can handle the wind. I'm superior.” I chuckled, doing some superhero pose.

I glanced at my desk and the first thing that popped in my mind was the polaroid. “I think I should bring my camera too,” I mumbled to myself.

I didn't expect Tae Yang to answer, but he did. “Go for it. We're going to have a blast.”

“Oh really?” I replied as I grabbed my camera off the table then put my white Nike Jordans on.

We quietly tip-toed our way to the front door, careful not to wake any members up, especially Seung Hyun. Once we were out, Tae Yang quietly closed the door and locked it using the key under a plant pot on the side I've never even noticed. He unexpectedly grabbed my hand and the two of us ran to the staircases (which I barely use, due to the fact that it takes at least a thousand steps to get to our floor!).

“Why aren't we using the elevator?” I whispered.

I held onto Tae Yang's hand tightly as we ran down the never-ending-like stairs.

“Our manager lives in the room near the elevator, and he has ears like a hawk.” He simply replied. “It's way past our curfew, and I'd probably get in deep trouble if he sees me going out.”

“Ah, I see... AHH!!!”

This was another reason why I never use the stairs; I always trip.

I missed a step, lost my balance then tripped over my shoe.

Unbelievable.

Why does this things happen to me?

I fell on Tae Yang's back, and BAM!!!

We both fell on the landing.

Thank goodness we only fell from three steps, otherwise millions of girls around the world would be crying the next morning.

I winced in pain, but that pain completely disappeared when I felt someone cushion my fall. I looked below me to find Tae Yang lying on his back with an amused look on his face. “Gee,” He chuckled. “You really are clumsy.”

Our position was... rather unusual.

It was like those dramas (excuse me if I keep comparing my life with dramas) where the girl accidentally trips over and the boy catches her and they end up falling and they're inches away from kissing and that the girl would be the one on... top and stuff.

It was kinda like that, except both my head and palms were on his rock-hard chest.

“Are you okay?” He asked in concern.

How could he ask if I'm okay when he was the one that pretty much saved me from getting another bruise on my head?!

I quickly sat up and blushed lightly in embarrassment.

Oh gosh! We were so close! Ugh, now I feel like a fan girl.

I held my hand out which he gladly took, and I felt some sort of electricity hit my skin. Tae Yang got up and brushed of the dust on his trousers.

“I am so sorry!” I apologized in shock.

I shot my hand up to my mouth and pretended to gasp. Haha, me and my dramatic actions.

“Are you always like this?” Tae Yang replied in amusement.

We slowly walked down to the main floor.

“Excuse me?” I questioned politely.

“Pretending as if you're in a drama.” He chuckled lightly.

“Excuse me?” I repeated again.

“I've been noticing lately. And you just said it when you were on-top of me.”

If only he knew how awkward it was when he said that.

And am I speaking out of my mind again?! Ah! When is this habit going away?!

“Don't worry,” He chuckled even more. “I like it when you say really random things,”

“Oh really?”

We were finally in the main hall and I sighed in relief. “No more stairs!”

Before we walked out of the building, I pulled on my hood, just incase a fan-girl saw me with Tae Yang who wore no disguise. I followed Tae Yang to his car, which I've actually never seen before.

Honestly, it amazes me how the boys can afford the most expensive things.

“This is your car?” I stared in awe at the sight of the beauty.

A white Lambo Gallarado Spyder.

 It was so much ier-looking than my Murciélago.

“My baby,” Tae Yang grinned proudly.

He stuffed his hand inside his jeans pocket and pulled out the key. He pressed a button, and the car doors automagically went up. Tae Yang gently pushed me inside the passenger seat and closed down the door. I watched him as he walked to the other side and sat on the driver's seat. He closed the door, fixed the rear view mirror, then pressed some button that made the roof open in an awesome way.

WHA? I didn't know it was a convertible!

“I heard about the little incident with you and your Lambo.” Tae Yang began with a snicker.

He plugged the key in the... key hole (where else would you plug a key?) and started the engine.

He shifted the gear, and VROOOOOOOOOM!

Nah, not literally.

Slowly, we rode our way to the main road.

“I didn't even know how to drive that thing!” I replied. “And the seating was... pretty awkward.”

A random thought popped in this smart brain of mine. I pulled out the camera from my pocket and SNAP!

The camera made some noises then a picture of the attractive side-view of Tae Yang printed out.

“You could've told me you were taking a picture!” He chortled. “Why are you taking pictures now anyway?”

“I'm starting a memory book about my strange yet unforgettable experience with you guys.”

Ha, I said the exact same thing to Seungri.

“Where are we going, anyway?” I decided to change the subject and ask him the question I've been dying to ask.

It was seriously raising my curiosity bar.

“Just wait...” Tae Yang replied calmly with eyes kept on the road.

He started speeding a little, and I could help but scream.

No, not in fear, but in joy.

I've never been out so late at night before, and screaming for some reason made me feel better.

Tae Yang looked at me then quickly back to the road. “What was that for?” He asked with a small smile.

I shrugged my shoulders and replied. “I had the urge to let it out!”

I looked out and gasped in amazement at the sight of the city. We were on a hill-top like highway and almost the whole of Seoul came to view. It was much like New York with all the lights on and many drama going on. It's like a city that never sleeps.

“Whoa! I've never been up here before!” I exclaimed in joy.

“Look on the other side, Ririn.”

I looked at Tae Yang, and behind him was the ocean.

THE BEACH?!

I'll be honest, I've never been to a beach before...

“The beach?!” I squealed like a seven-year old getting ice cream.

“Yeah, since you've never been on the seaside before.” Tae Yang smiled brightly. “Think of this as a... late birthday present. A trip to the beach with BIGBANG's Tae Yang.”

He stopped the car once we arrived at the entrance and got out of the vehicle. He walked over to my side and before I could open the door, being a gentleman he is, he beat me to it.

“Thank you,” I replied and got out of the vehicle.

Tae Yang closed the door, and once again, held my hand.

Oh! I could feel the electricity coming again!

He looked at me, and flashed another one of his godly smiles (with his cute eye smile!). “Get on,”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

Tae Yang got a hold of my other hand, and placed both of them on his shoulders.

“Ah, I see...”

He crouched down a little which made it much easier to jump on his back.

“Okay, 1, 2, 3!”

His arms locked around my legs and shifted me a little in a comfortable position.

“Ah, wait!” I exclaimed, one of my arms letting go of him and grabbing the camera off my pocket.

I faced the camera in front of us and grinned.

“Say cheese!”

I leaned my head on the crook of Tae Yang's neck; his cheek touching with mine, and SNAP!

A picture of us with cheesy grins printed out.

“Let's go! The water is already waiting for us.” Tae Yang said and ran down the little sandy hill.

I held onto him as tight as possible so I wouldn't fall. He stopped running once the cold water hit his feet. Unexpectedly, he held my arms and lifted me of his back, then carried me bridal-style, without me even noticing it.

IS THAT EVEN HUMANLY POSSIBLE?!?!

I started to panic a little. “Please don't drop me!” I clung onto his neck and held onto him tightly. “Otherwise, I'm taking you with me!”

“Relax,” Tae Yang replied calmly, “I won't drop you. But I'm going to be totally honest with you...”

“Umm, Okay...”

I looked up to his eyes, which were gazing back at me... I have a very weird feeling about this.

“I've always wanted to hold you like this...”

"..."

What?

Are my ears deceiving me? Did I just hear Tae Yang, THE Tae Yang say he wanted to... hold me? Like this?

“Tae Yang...” I replied in breathy tone (Okay, I promise I won't compare the things I do slash I say with dramas!)

He turned around and gently set me down on the sand.

I was shivering slightly, and my heart was beating fast.

OK, serious time.

What I'm feeling about Tae Yang... Is it...

…

…

…

…

…

Love?

I mean, I read from somewhere that if you're with a guy and he makes you feel special, or whenever he touches you, you feel some sort of electricity going on inside your body, or if you're heart skips a beat when you see them...

...or maybe it's just a crush.

Just a normal, average, meaningless crush.

Tae Yang tilted my chin up so I could face him. “Call me... Young Bae from now on.”

“Young Bae...?”

“Yeah... my real name.”

Real name? He's never told me his real name before... Or maybe he has but I've completely forgotten about it.

“Okay, Ririn.” He held onto my hands and clasped them together. “I waited for the right moment to tell you this, but...”

“...but...?”

“...”

“...”

“...I like you.”

Should I be screaming?

“I like you too, Young Bae.”

I didn't know if he meant it as in 'I like you as a friend' or 'I like like you.'

But my legs felt like they were about to collapse any minute.

He gently shook his head. “No, don't mean it like that... I really do like you.”

Tae Y— Young Bae confessed.

Should I be screaming?

I shook my head in disagreement. “Don't joke with me, Young Bae.”

Do I really like him back too?

“Don't joke...” I whispered, looking at the sand. “You can't like me...”

“Says who?” He questioned firmly.

He let go of my hands and gripped on my shoulder. “It took me some guts, Ririn, to confess to you, and now you're saying my feelings for you are a joke?”

“Think about your career, Young Bae."

Why doesn't this feel right?

"There are millions of beautiful girls out there who are head-over-heels in-love with you!"

Why is it that I'm saying things that are hurting me?

"Why can't you like one of them instead of me?!”

Is this really happening?

My heart hurt so much.

I guess it is true... I must be in-love with Young Bae.

“I don't care about anyone else, Park Ririn. I don't care if you're three years younger than me. Or if my manager tells me to focus on my career first before dating. I like you— no, scratch that— I love you! Have you noticed why I've been distant lately?! It's because I was trying to get rid of you in my mind!”

This isn't happening.

Someone please tell me this isn't happening.

That was the first time someone called me Park Ririn in a while...

“There are times when I'm feeling awkward when I'm around you. You know those words you read from my notebook? Those words were for you...”

His hands made their way to the back of my head and gently, he pulled me towards him.

Oh no.

He's going to kiss me!

Should I panic? Should I tell him to stop? Should I just let him?

I couldn't even decide. Why? Because his lips were already touching mine.

Fireworks. Spark. Heaven.

That was what I felt when he kissed me.

His lips felt so soft... So... Kissable.

Does this mean... Young Bae's my... boyfriend?

I closed my eyes, and kissed him back.

This is a dream... This is a dream... This is a dream...

Even though I told myself that millions of times, I still wasn't convinced.

It was reality.

Oh, how I hate reality.

He slowly parted from the kiss, but pecked my lips again.

And again.

And again.

I slowly pulled away from his lips, and I felt a churn in my stomach. I blushed and tried to look away, but he cupped both my cheeks and made me face him.

“I told you I was being sincere...” He whispered before leaning in a kissing my forehead.

I guess he really was.

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

.

..

...

....

.....

“Tell me a secret...”

The two of us were both led on the sand, watching the stars. His arm is s around my shoulders and my head's on-top of his chest.

“A secret?” He replied softly.

I draped my left arm over his waist and nodded. “Yeah, a secret. I want to know more about you.”

I always thought looking at the stars in deep thought would help me relax... But it's actually really boring.

“You're my first girlfriend... And my first real kiss.”

My heart fluttered after he called me his girlfriend. I'm guessing it's official... Also, the fact that he admitted that I was his first real kiss was the cherry on top.

“Okay, I told you two of my secrets, what about you? You must have a load of secrets.”

Hmm... Opening up time.

“Remember the first time I met you guys...? At first, I kinda thought Seung Hyun was... attractive.”

“That's a fact, Rin, not a secret.”

“How is it?”

“Because every girl Seung Hyun encounters finds him y.”

Should I tell him?

I've been getting a lot of headaches lately, and... nosebleeds. Sometimes, they just come out at random times. I didn't feel like narrating it back then, but it's been bothering me now.

I suppose I could tell Young Bae... but then he might tell Seung Hyun...

“There are times...” For some reason, I choked on my words, but I continued. “...When I feel like... my life's being drained away faster than usual. Like... I'm dying.”

“What?” Young Bae shot up. “Why do you think that? Don't tell me you're suicidal?”

I sat up and glanced at him. “No, of course not... Why would I be if life's too precious. It's just that, there are times when I feel... weak.” I sighed the last part. “I know it's hard to believe seeing as I'm such a hyper girl that sometimes talks to herself, but at the end of everyday, I could always feel my life slowly draining away... I've also become very forgetful nowadays...”

He looked at me with no expression whatsoever. It was like, his face completely froze as if he saw a ghost or something.

“I'm really curious, Young Bae...” I continued. “All five of you... Are you hiding something from me?”

That was another thing that bothered me since I started living with them. They were all so secretive... And Seung Hyun's phone call and he get so worried about me... The letters that he didn't want me to read.

I'm not a dumb person.

I have to find out what it is, otherwise, my brain would probably explode if I keep thinking about it.

I waited for Young Bae to response, which took almost a whole minute.

He slowly shook his head. “Why would we be hiding something from you...?”

No matter how much I try, I knew Young Bae wouldn't spill anything.

“Ah... I guess you're right. I'm sorry...”

“For what?”

“For saying all those things...”

His hand gently touched my cheek and caressed it. “Hey, we all have those moments.”

“Can I ask you a favour...?” I hesitated a little when I said that.

“Sure, ask me anything.” Young Bae genuinely smiled.

I felt tears go down my eyes, and I felt a slight pain in my heart. I mean like proper pain, as if it's been stabbed by a million needles.

“When we get back to the apartment... Can we forget everything that happened...?”

Young Bae froze. I could see the lump of his going up and down. “...Everything...?”

I nodded slowly, even thought it pained me to do so.

Why am I doing this?

To be quite honest, I didn't know... My heart just told me to...

I was in the verge of crying.

I... didn't understand. I wasn't the sort of emotional person...

“Yes... Everything...”

It's only been an hour since he kissed me... But I'm not the girl for him. He deserved someone better, not like me. I'm just an annoying girl from high school who does nothing but cause mischief.

I stood up and watched the ocean waves coming back and forth.

It's only been the first hour of my first relationship with my possibly first love who stole my first kiss...

But now it's my first breakup.

Young Bae stood up behind me and draped his arms around my shoulders. “Why...?” He whispered in a sad tone.

“You deserve someone better, Young Bae...”

I couldn't control my tears any longer. I turned around and looked straight through his eyes. “Not me.”

The sight of him broke me to pieces. My expression was so indescribable. I didn't know if he was sad, or angry, or shocked, or upset, or broken...

I leaned against his chest and cried.

Cried my eyes out.

Cried my whole heart out.

I've never cried in front of anybody before... But it couldn't be helped.

“I'm so sorry...” I sobbed on his chest, clutching unto his wife beater. “I don't deserve you...”

Young Bae pulled me in a hug and squeezed me tight. “Shh... It's okay...” He whispered soothingly. “It's okay... But promise me one thing, Ririn.”

“...What?”

“Nothing is ever gonna change between us...”

I looked up to Tae Yang and tried to smile, but ended up crying even more.

“Shh... Don't cry any more, okay?” He whispered and my back.

.

..

...

....

.....

After almost an hour of endless crying, I finally stopped. It was almost four AM, yet, I wasn't even tired. Not one bit.

“I wonder what they're gonna say if they found out we were out all night?” I began without a hint of sadness in my voice.

I guess after all that crying, my sad feelings washed away.

I still love Young Bae, but now more of a brother type.

Gosh, even my own feelings confuse me.

The clouds finally started to turn blue, which made the ocean view more serene. The two of us were sat down, waiting for the sunrise (now that, I believe, is not boring).

I had my camera out, and was taking random pictures of the ocean and the clouds. Hmm... I should become a photographer one day.

“We'll just say we went on an early morning jog.” The man beside me replied.

“Yeah, let's go with that excuse!” I beamed with a smile.

Young Bae looked at me and flashed a smile. “Oh, I have another secret to tell you.”

“Oh really? What's that?” I replied with a hint of curiosity.

“I was actually the one that took you to the nurse's office then to your class,”

"..."

HA! I knew it!!!

“And... I did the assignment for you. There, I cleared my conscience.”

“Oh really?”