My eyes fluttered open, yet everything was a blur. I blinked a couple of times to get my vision back to normal. I could hear undistinguishable murmurs surrounding me.

“She’s awake!”

The first thought that appeared in my mind was my location. Everything was unfamiliar yet there was a hint of nostalgia. I heard a beeping noise, and it was then I realised I was in a hospital. I was once again enclosed within dull white wall, bed-ridden, and nothing but the smell of worry and death lingering my nostrils.

I knew Seung Hyun was there as I felt a familiar presence, but I refused to look at him. I felt angry and upset at the fact they hid an important piece of information about myself. I sat up from the hospital bed, refusing to listen to boys’ concerns, but as soon as I did that, I felt a sharp pain on my abdomen.

“Ririn, please rest.” Seung Hyun voiced out in concern. “You can’t exhaust yourself too much.”

He rested his hand on mine, which I pulled away in frustration. Seung Hyun had an obvious shocked look across his face.

“What’s wrong with me?” I whispered.

I felt my throat go dry as soon as I spoke those words. The boys remained silent as if they were asked a trick question. My eyes began to feel heavy and before I knew it, tears were streaming down. “Why do I always get headaches? Why have I forgotten fragments of my past?” My questioned seemed unending and I could no longer hold back the tears. “Why am I always in pain...?”

Seung Hyun wrapped his arms around me and I could’ve sworn I heard him sniffle.

“Why... Why did you hide it from me Seung Hyun?” I cried. “I thought I could trust you...”

I held unto his arms as I cried my heart out like a child.  I felt Seung Hyun kiss the top of my head. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry...” He apologised continuously, rocking me back and forth.

After what seemed like hours, Seung Hyun finally let go and with a deep breath, he began to explain the situation of my health.

“You have Huntington’s Disease, Ririn. Which explains why you’ve had black outs, memory loss, mood swings and so on. It’s also the cause of your headaches. You were born with a hole in your heart which is why you were never allowed to exhaust yourself.” Seung Hyun paused momentarily before continuing. “You also have... uhm... pancreatic cancer, which explains your frequent stomach pains.”

Ji Yong walked over to me and sat on the bed. He wrapped an arm around me for reassurance which I gladly allowed. I couldn’t respond to what Seung Hyun had said. It was too much for me to take in all at once.

I always thought I was... normal. A normal orphaned girl who had a bad memory and was always sick.

I guess God had other plans for me, but... Why me? I was a girl abandoned by her parents who most likely refused to acknowledge my existence, and now I have some sort of incurable illness. Why am I burdened with such pain?

“Am I going to die?” That was a question that had been lingering my mind for some time.

I felt Ji Yong tense up whilst the rest stiffened. The leader held me closer to his chest. “Don’t say things like that.” He whispered to my ear.

“But what’s the use of living if I’m going to be constantly sent to the hospital?” I responded, my emotions out of control that I could barely hold back what to say. “What’s the point if I’m going to be a burden to all of you? Especially you, Seung Hyun.” I shot him a look. “Why did you adopt me in the first place anyway?”

“Ririn, you need to calm down.” Young Bae spoke up from behind Seung Hyun. “The doctor said you can’t exhaust yourself too much.”

“No!” I shouted, though unintentionally. “Tell me, Seung Hyun. Why would a twenty-two year old superstar go through the trouble of adopting someone? I’ve been asking you this question all this time, yet you avoid it like it some sort of plague! Tell me, right here, right now!”

The said man remained silent, yet his eyes continued to stare through mine. I felt Ji Yong’s grip tighten, which was when I realised my body was moving rapidly out of control.

“You have to get chemo soon.” Seung Hyun responded, ignoring my questions.

“I don’t give a damn about chemotherapy! I just want answers!” I released myself from Ji Yong’s hold and pulled out the IV chord. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out myself!”

Before I could remove myself off of the bed, Ji Yong took hold of my arms. “Where are you going, Ririn?! Hey! Are you crazy?”

“Get off me!” I struggled from Ji Yong’s grip.

“Ji Yong, be careful with her!” Daesung exclaimed in worry.

“Don’t treat me like I’m some sort of fragile china!” I retorted back.

“Fine!” Seung Hyun finally spoke up. “I’ll tell you everything.”

“But, Seung Hyun...” Seungri responded softly. “You can’t.”

“I have too or this girl might do something crazy.” Seung Hyun responded back.

After finally calming down, Ji Yong released me from his hold. He, along with the rest of the group aside from Seung Hyun made their way towards the door, giving us privacy. Once they exited the room, Seung Hyun sat down on the side of bed next to me. “To be honest...” He started after clearing his throat. “I didn’t want to take responsibility of adopting someone.”

“Then why did you?” I questioned.

Seung Hyun eyes remained on the wall in front of us, as if avoiding mine. “A special friend of mine, my mentor to be precise, requested it. He was fully aware of you having HD, but he never expected you to have cancer. That man’s name is Park Dae Hyun... He’s your father.”

I looked at him in disbelief. I couldn’t open my mouth to respond.

“He was a wealthy widowed man, living next door to my house during my childhood years. My father died when I was two, so when I was growing up, Dae Hyun became a father figure to me. Actually, he was a father figure to everyone in the group. He was the one that encourage all five of us to become a group and make music. Yet, he was a very melancholic man... He would always sit outside his porch with an expression of regret. Once I was old enough to understand, he told me the story of how his wife and daughter died in a car crash. But, what he didn’t know was that his daughter actually survived. That daughter is you, Park Ririn. You were discovered on the side of a building, which ruled out that your mother’s death may have had been suicide. Dae Hyun only found out of your existence when he visited the orphanage one day, and saw a little girl which resembled his wife. He asked about you a lot, and even sent you gifts. He wanted to adopt you, but he was afraid of what you might have thought of him. He has bipolar disorder - there would be times when he would be his usual jolly and kind self. But in other times, he would fall into depression and would get frustrated easily. He asked me many times to adopt you once I turned eighteen, but I always refused. He thought that I being close to you would create some sort of connection between you two. I gave it a lot of thought before proceeding to his request. But a week before I adopting you, Dae Hyun completely disappeared, as if he vanished from the face of the Earth. No one knows where he is. No one knows if he's still alive. I thought adopting you would bring him back, but... 

Seung Hyun was on the verge of tears. I stood up from the bed and embraced him tightly and we both let our tears fall.

“Thank you.” I whispered. “Thank you for everything...  Seung Hyun?”

“Hm?”

“Am I going to die?”

Seung Hyun cupped my face and wiped my tears away. “I won’t let you die.” He whispered before he kissed my forehead. "And I won't let them take you away."

"Who would take me away?" I questioned, giving him a curious look.

"...The man who put you in the orphanage..."