DO NOT FALL IN LOVE

This chapter wasn't supposed to be in this book. Why? For one sole reason - IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS!

I wasn't supposed to become his ing         boyfriend. It's so frustrating! He's making me feel butterflies and I'm not even gay! So to clear up my head and yours if this is happening to you right now I am writing this chapter. 

Things you should know:

1) In this business there is no showing emotion. I say "emotion" you say "what?!"

"Emotion!" 

....

I'm going crazy right now... Alright. 

2) You can't show weaknesses. Same as emotions if you show any sign that you're weak this could be your targets opportunity to strike. So DON'T BE WEAK!

3) If you however know you will go weak, then follow the next steps so you don't show it: 

Step number one - the poker face: Basically just like in poker, keep a straight face to whatever he/she/it says. 

    Step number two - don't go with the flow: You know how usually people tell you to relax, take it easy and enjoy

WELL DON'T!

                     Step number three - the distance: In this step try and make yourself distant, but make sure he doesn't notice. How you ask?  

I don't know think of something. 

4) Falling in love is FORBIDDEN! No matter how charming you find your target, or you like his/hers smile, or the way his eyes sparkle when he's looking at me  I mean you! Don't FALL IN L.O.V.E.! That's like the greatest weakness one can have. Like krypton to Superman! Like asbestos to Torch Man! Like Muramasa Blade to Wolverine! Like me and JB!  Well you get the point.

Love is just a stupid thing people made up to describe their stupidity. Another word for stupidity - love. That's what love is! Stupid thing that doesn't exist. People who believe in it are all straight up dumb. And you if you believed in love before, stop reading books! Love isn't real.

You don't feel butterflies in your stomach, that's stomach ache or you ate something bad! Your heart thumps faster because you have chronic tachycardia, not because he's close. Go get a doctor! Cure yourself!

Don't ever think you're in love! Because you're not. There is no such feeling, it's just a hormone. One that hits you like a ton of bricks and makes you do crazy stuff. Take me for example. I actually said "I like you too" to the jerk. Hormones! 

But I've learned to win over those ers. They won't boss me around anymore. I am going into my final phase and that's the break up! He will cry like a little baby once I'm done with him. 

We've been dating for almost five months now and it's almost our six month anniversary. I will get him then - back to the topic at hand.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!

Love is krypton! It can kill you! Once you say you're in love it's game over then! It will mock you in the face and say "you lost er" *insert love's victory dance here*

That little thing called heart, we use it to pump blood, you don't feel with that! Hell nah! Once again L.O.V.E doesn't exist. It's fake. 

Stupid American movies. 

I bet my life that you're reading this and thinking, but maybe this dude is wrong? Maybe I really am in love. 

Let me tell you – for every symptom you're feeling there is a logical and medical explanation. Look for help! 

I looked up online and perhaps I have orchitis! Maybe you have it too! You never know it's possible. 

Now let's move on to the cause of all this. 

IT'S HIM!

The other day Jae Bum said "You're the best thing that has happened to me." 

Like hell no! We're talking about a dude that has mirror for his best friend. So if you hear something like that coming out of his mouth – don't buy it! He's lying. They all are. 

Also when we kiss I feel this tingling sensation on my lips. That's static electricity... only bearable for humans. Like when you get hit with low power voltage. Yeah, that's it. 

We already explained the stomach and the heart, now let's move onto the brain. Your brain isn't processing his words right, because of the hormones. 

How you ask? Take for example: "You look beautiful tonight." you hear that, right? What he actually said: "I'm gonna bang you hard tonight." 

Here is the list of sentences that guys usually say and what they actually mean.

This my friend is your new Bible. Go by it! It will definitively narrow your doubts. This way you won't have to worry of ever misunderstanding his words. I'm a guy I should know how all this works. Who would know a guy better then the guy himself. For women... refer to this table I found online.. I really don't know you girls. (especially since my first girlfriend is actually boyfriend.)

With that being said I will conclude this lesson with a final sentence.

DO NOT FALL IN LOVE, IF YOU DO – GAME OVER!

Jr. Out ♥

Well hello there XD I know I know you will keel me all for not updating - sorry ^^ 
This chapter was pretty short because this is the additional sort of lesson and Jr didn't think of putting in there :D I would've updated last weekend, but I happened to forget I was going to be in Budapest watching Teen Top (dies) perform... *Q* Refer to this BLOG for more info ^^
With that the next chapter will be longer and maybe you'll be crying by the end of (won't say too much *slapped*) 

Okay noona out and check out my other stories (that I should update TT TT) 

P.S. Orchitis is testical inflamation xD 

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