THE ART OF BREAK UPS

Aloha my people!

In today's lesson we will learn how to break up with your target... in the most humiliating way possible! This you won't find in magazines. Nah-ah. This is all original, not like those advice columns you read: "I don't love him anymore, but I don't know how to break up. What to do?! *crying face*" Hell N.O.U! 

In here we don't care about his feelings. We want to crush him! Make him suffer! Kill him!! - socially I mean, we don't want to serve time for a jerk. 

Let's move onto our plan. Here the main question will be - how, when and where? 

To answer the two out three when recess, where at school. 

This is very simple, to determinate the place and time, just pick a place which is the most busiest and a time when it will be full to the brim (no pun indented you erts!). For example in a mall or during rush hour, the more people the better. 

I choose you Pikachu   school grounds because as a teenager what is more important to one than the reputation ins school. That's what schools are for anyway. They don't teach you anything valuable, but create a sociable person out of you. So what better place to do it than school. Now here is my plan:

May 01.2014.

It's almost 5 months since we've started dating and it's been a living nightmare! He's been nothing but lovely and caring and he is just pissing me off! Does he really like me?!

Nah-ah! Jr is not buying this baloney! I am smarter than this and I am not falling for his act. Love me my behind! He only loves himself, no one else!

On our 5 month anniversary I will give him the taste of his medicine! He will cry like a little baby he is and will never again try to mess with me. I'm bad!

Today's Labor Day so we are going over to his friend's house for some BBQ. Jae Bum is clinging to me like crazy and I can't stand it, but I it up and put on my best fake smile. Soon he will suffer. 

We are eating some BBQ and drinking some bear - actually Jae Bum is drinking I am just eating (pig). His arm is around my waist and I just can't help, but cringe a little at his actions. It's so cheesy, someone would actually mistaken his actions for caring. But I won't be fooled. 

I was planning on how to break up with him. So far I was thinking of making a banner saying: "I hate your new haircut, let's break up." and let it hang out of the school window during recess for everyone to read. Better than wasting my voice at least. Then I thought of handing him a note in front of everyone saying:

Let's break up.

Yes

or

Yes

I also had an idea of gifting him a shirt saying: "y, free and SINGLE." 

Then the thoughts of breaking up nicely came to me and I started thinking: is he really worth it all? Couples break up everyday. One might be breaking up as I write this - it's possible. But then my mind went back to all those years he spent torturing me, so any thoughts of breaking up quietly vanished. Just like in that commercial for stain removal: Vanish, trust pink, forget stains. 

Maybe I can use that as a break up line. "I trust pink so I'm forgetting you - a stain." Would that look good on a T-Shirt....?

Basically you need to have an original break up line to show the bastard you're serious. Also you need to make it as public as possible. So this is how I did it.

May 15. 2014.

It's our 5 month anniversary. I can't believe it. Yuck! How did I stand it?! Anyhoe, I decided it was enough from me. Today he will get the taste of his medicine. I decided to go with a really smooth and clean plan. The banner!

I already had it ready: I HATE YOUR NEW HAIRCUT. LET'S BREAK UP. Never loved you Jr. ♥ Written in beautiful black bold letters. 

It even rhymes. He'll totally regret ever messing with me. 

I went to school and there I met up with my helper - BumBam or whatever. Good kid really, just transferred here and follows me around like a god. I need to lead the new generation so I took the kid in out of pity. 

We secretly exchanged - me giving him the banner, him giving me the piece of information I needed to complete my plan. 

At 11.30 exactly I will execute my plan. Everyone knows something big should happen - courtesy of my lovely disciple BamBam - and so far everyone has been whispering about it. 

"Wonder what will happen." Jae Bum thought out loud. His arm was as usually slung around my shoulder and in just mere hours I will free myself of that hand. 

It was recess time and  I said I need to go to the bathroom - lame excuse but works every time. So I met up with BamBam again and helped him place the banner nicely. From the window of the classroom I saw everyone there - waiting. Jae Bum was looking around, probably ogling some girls while I'm not with him. 

I ran up to the roof, where we placed the banner. 

"Three," I counted down. 

"Two." BamBam smirked. 

"Now." the two of us let the banner drop from the school's building, evident for everyone to see. 

Gasps were heard everywhere and I could see the surprise on Jerk's face. 

"Hey, honey." I yelled, a smile constant on my face. 

"What is the meaning of this Jin Young?" his voice bounced in the air. 

"It's exactly what it is!" I yelled at  him. "We're done!" 

Laughter could be heard from all around as Jae Bum showered in his shame. Everyone was pointing fingers at him and he ran out of the school yard crying like a little baby. I laughed at the scene. This was so much more fun. I don't even feel bad. 

Later that day me and BamBam were celebrating with some ice-cream. 

"I got his face perfectly." BamBam high-fived me as we were looking through the pictures that BamBam kindly took as a memory. "You are the best." he sighed, stuffing another mouthful of ice-cream. 

"And you're gross. Stop eating like a pig." I snorted at him. 

We both laughed. Man this revenge was one of the best things I have ever done. My life is complete now. Though I won't have anyone to torture now that Jae Bum is out of the picture, I will find myself something else to do. I sighed contently - my life is perfect. 

I was tossing in bed as I couldn't fall asleep. I kept on seeing Jae Bum's crying face and it was kind of destroying me. He couldn't be really hurt by what I did. He will try and get his revenge on me I am sure! I finally feel asleep after tossing around for a while. 

Counting sheep really helps. 

Suddenly I hear a voice in my head. An awfully familiar voice asking.

 "What's the meaning of this?" 

"Junior what's the meaning of this?!" 

And that my friends was how I got busted. It's now May 2. Jae Bum was slightly (read horridly) drunk so I had to take him to my place. Luckily for me my parents were out celebrating Labor Day with their friends. Sometimes I don't know if I should be thankful or dreadful that my parents still have a social life. 

I dragged Jae Bum's laughing behind to my room and plopped him down on my bed. Jerk weighs a ton!

As I was going through my closet trying to find him something appropriate to wear, his voice sang through the room. At first I though he was just babbling nonsense because he was drunk, but apparently my boyfriend is very capable of taking out my book-in-process out of nowhere and start reading it. His words hit me like a ton of trucks filled with cement. 

"What's the meaning of this?" his voice rang in disbelief. "Junior what is the meaning of this?" he looked at me directly, all the alcohol in his system not effecting his killer glare at all. 

My heart thumped faster and I swallowed something heavy. 

"Well...." 

This is really not me lol I actually updated keke. Now onto the bad news: don't expect an update next weekend because I'll be probably busy preparing biochemistry, infective diseases, podiatry, constitution, physics and my graduation activity for kindergarten..... Oh joy. If I menage I will update, but after that week it should be over. I still have them finals in June and prom on the 30th woohoo.. I ordered a dress and it was only shipped today, becasue of Labor Day and because I wasn't even planning on going lol 

So yup, if I can I will update next weekend if not then sowwies ;A;

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