inspired by Pinocchio (the hiccuping part)

She cried and tried to pull him out of her house. 

" Leave. Just go. " 

He held her hands tightly to his chest. 

" Sunny. Stop pushing me away. " 

Sunny tried again. Her tears blurred her vision. 

" Why are trying to make it hard for me, Kris? " 

" Sunny, why can't you just let me love you? " He held on to her tightly, refusing her request for him to leave.  

" You know I never wanted you. Just leave me alone. Get out. " Sunny shouted. Her voice grew louder with every word and her sobs started to sneak out of her, despite her trying her best to hold them back. Her knees felt weak against his embrace. She wanted to hold on to him and tell him to save her from the hell she feels. But she yelled at those thoughts. This isn't some teenage love story. You save your ing self.  She looked at him to find him crying with her. She fought the urge to touch him and wipe away the tears that streamed down his beautiful face. 

" Leave, " she paused, " Please, just leave Kris. " 

Kris's shoulder slumped and he left hesitantly. Sunny slid down the wall, her hands locked onto her hair as she tried to bring her sanity back by any means. She felt numb and hatred towards herself.  

Why couldn't she let herself have some happiness? She answered it herself. Because. Because she didn't deserve him. He wasn't broken. He wasn't insane. He was fine. He was normal. 

A small voice in her brain whispered to her, " But you love him. " Funny thing was that small voice affected her the most.  

" No. I don't. " Before the sentence left her fully, she hiccupped. The hiccup brought more tears to her face.  

Maybe you can happy ending? No. Those who are broken don't get love. There's no happy ending. Her life wasn't no fairy tail. It wasn't like those teen romance book with the depressed female protagonist that found love and her happy ending. It didn't work that way. Her own mind wasn't going to let her do that. She couldn't even love herself. How could afford to love someone else? In fact, she was her biggest enemy. She wanted to cut patterns on to herself and kill her in the most painful way. 

She thought, " Maybe. It could be like those books. " No. Her insanity was not going to stop because of one guy. She needed to stop it herself. No one can save her except her. And despite how much she felt like she was drowning, she didn't let her get help because she hated herself so much. 

" You're useless and stupid and ugly and you shouldn't even be here here. " her mind whispered. 

" I know. " 

" Sunny. "  

" Yes. " Sunny rested her head against the nook of Kris's neck. 

" Why didn't you let me love you? " quivered slightly and she felt tears threatening to slip as she wrapped her hands around him. 

" Because I'm selfish. Because I was scared to love someone. I was scared to rely on someone. I was scared that I would've loved you so much and that my insanity will grow stronger because of it. And I didn't want to be save by a guy like those books because I knew in reality it didn't work that way. I wanted to save myself but at the same mind told me to destroy those thoughts. I was scared. I'm still scared. " Sunny was in tears by the time she finished. Kris sat up wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him and planted soft kisses against the temple of her head. 

" I didn't want to 'save you'. I wanted to stand by you be there whille you save yourself. " he spoke softly to him. He sound hurt and it killed Sunny even more.

" I'm sorry Kris. " Sunny sobbed. Kris smiled and he slipped away. 

" I love you Sunny. " He said as he disappeared into the bright white light. 

Even when they were dead, they couldn’t be with each other.  

But it didn’t mean they didn't love each other.