Several weeks went by as Minho and I worked with the tigers. I wouldn't touch them and they didn't get close enough for me to touch them. Except Oska. He would run up like a puppy and play at my feet. I had started performing with the horses wowing many people who came to watch. Umma said since I got here our sales had risen 5%. I think that's good. 

 

As the weeks went on Minho and I got closer. He wasn't like anyone I had met before. He understood my feeling and would discuss serious topics with me rather than some of the others who thought I was a little boy. Im not a little boy. I'm 17 almost 18. Not to mention he was very attractive. His raven black hair fell in front of his eyes and his lips curved to perfection. 

 

One night we were working with the tigers when we decided to take a small break and just talk. We small talked about places we had been before. I told him very little about my life before. He did the same but I wanted to know more I just didn't know how. We sat side by side my head on his shoulder. It was getting late and I was getting sleepy. My eyes would close every now and then and open to see Oska in front of me. I would flip out and crawl away to hide on minhos other side. He simply laughed and pulled me into his lap. "you do know he just wants to play right?" he asked as I watched Oska cautiously. 

 

"play, roughhouse, horse play. Any way I can get hurt. I prefer not to go to the hospital." I mumble as I rested my head again this time on his chest. If i get even a tiny scratch it could be the end of me but i can't tell him that He smiled and held me as he hummed a soft melody. His voice was that of an angel. One that came down from heaven to save me. opening my eyes I look up to see him looking down at me. his lips were perfectly set on his face beckoning to me to kiss them. But I don't think I should. He might not like it. Suddenly Oska jumped up on minhos back pushing his head forward connecting our lips. Quickly we pulled away and looked around to see if anyone noticed. Luckily no one else was in here. Looking back at each other we kind of guessed that the other liked it. Shyly I look away as my face turned red. His hand made his way to my chin and pulled my face up to where I was looking at him. Smiling he kissed my lips again this time softer and passionately. It's not like I didn't like it. It was more the fact that I was always yelled at by my appa for liking boys. I would get beaten and hurt if ever the opportunity presented itself. Quickly I pulled away scooting out of his lap. "I. I'm. Sorry." I whisper tears in my eyes as I fled the tent. I don't want to get hurt again. Running into the forest near the circus area I sit under a tree hiding my legs rocking back and forth. I can't do this. I can't like him. The memory is too much for my Mind to process. What If I decide I like him then I have to return to appa? What will he do? Will I be killed? Will I bleed to death? Tears formed in my eyes from the memories of before. I do love him but I can't. It's disgusting. Unnatural. An abomination. At Least that's what appa says. 

 

An arm wrapped around my shoulder and I looked to see Minho. "Look I came to apologize. I didn't mean to kiss you. I didn't know if you were straight or not. It won't happen aga-". 

 

"No. No it isn't your fault Minho. It's just I've liked guys before and then I would get beaten. It's a memory that I will remember forever. It's so vivid that I afraid to act against it in fear that it may come true." I replied as he rubbed more circles into my back. "I don't know what would happen if I tried again. I don't know if I'll get hurt."

 

"I won't let anyone hurt you. Now that you're here no one will stop us. We can be together for as long as you want. Lets try again Minnie ok?" he said and I hesitantly nodded. Bringing his lips onto mine he gently kissed me. There was a spark I could feel it. When he pulled away I looked up at him. "So Taemin. Would you be my boyfriend?" he asked and I blushed looking away. Should I?  I really like him but... What if I get hurt? I donno what to do. He saw my confusion on the subject and pulled me into his lap. "Tae. Let me show you how much I want to be with you. Let me prove to you that nothing bad will happen. If I cannot uphold those promises then you can say no but just let me try." he whispered holding me close. This seemed like a good idea. I guess we could try that. 

 

"Alright." I whisper. It seemed fair. He smiled and kissed my cheek. 

 

"It's getting late why don't we go back to the trailer." he said helping me up. I nodded and we left the forest hand in hand back to the small trailer. He must be very serious about this as he acted like a total gentleman holding the door open for me and allowing me into the trailer first. We quietly got into the bed and lay there saying nothing him just holding me as we tried to drift to sleep. My heart beat rapidly whenever he held me or even looked at me. Is this what love is like?