Niel's POV

 

YAHHH!!! I awake from my dream with a scream.

 

Which evidently who else would come running to save me from my nightmare

 

"DANIEL WHAT HAPPENED OH MY GOD ARE YOU HURT? DID YOU CUT YOURSELF? DID SOMETHING HIT YOU? DID YOUR DOG DIE? ARE YOU DYING????" Chanhee yelped, which came out as a gargled mess of words

 

"No, I'm fine Chanhee, just a dream don't worry" 

 

"Okay, but if you need 'help' with this dream come get me I'm downstairs with L.Joe" he smiled returning to the bedroom door where L.Joe was leaning against the door frame with a comforting smile.

 

"I'll be fine"

 

They left me alone in my room to shower and get ready for the day.

 

Whats on the agenda....blank....blank....blank...blank....blank.....blank........work....blank.....and blank 

 

Damn I have a boring life

 

CHUNJI'S POV

 

I wish i could make all niel's bad feelings go away. If only i could wish away the bad omens and nightmares he has. 

 

L.Joe and i head downstairs again to continue eating our breakfast.

 

"Do you think we should go out tonight?" L.Joe asked

 

"Uh.......i have work byunghunnie"

 

"But I want to go to the amusement park" 

 

"What? Why"

 

"I want to take Kisa" he stated 

 

I thought for a bit.......L.Joe did deserve to get this "girl of his dreams" and it would be good for Niel to get out a bit and relax after all the pressure.

 

"So what do you think, I'll book the amusement park for 4 hours, 2 for me, you, Ricky and Kisa, and 2 for CAP and niel's bonding time"

 

That was a brilliant idea. I looked up at L.Joe and his pleading puppy eyes

 

"Uh you win my precious puppy"

 

"Haha works every time"

 

"I'll get Niel a longer shift today so he will finish at 9:30 at the latest"

 

"Ok so I'll reserve it for 8 to 12 pm"

 

"Thank you joe, Niel will appreciate it

 

"Are we gonna tell him?"

 

"Tell him what?"

 

"We're setting him up on a date with Minsoo"

 

"No way, just tell your 'friend' if he hurts niel's feelings tonight he will have to face me"

 

*DINGDONG*

 

We looked up from our conversation to the sound of the door bell.

 

L.Joe stood up to answer the door.

 

"Appa~" Ricky giggled running into the house engulfing L.Joe in a tight embrace

 

"Changhyun" i sternly stated his real name putting my hands on my hips in a pissed-off-mother kind of fashion 

 

"Umma~ i love you, not Changjo-ssi, i love you umma-ji" he smiled giving his best sweet talking voice

 

I usually hold a grudge for weeks, months and even (in Changjo's case) years. But the way he combined 'Umma' and my nickname 'Chunji' was so adorable, my heart melted like butter in a hot pan.

 

"Naw RICKY BABY GIVE UMMA-JI A HUG, OH I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY DEAR BABY BOY" i yelled showering my little boy in kisses.

 

"Well, looks like someone's been forgiven" Niel smiled coming down the stairs.

 

 "Umo!!" Ricky screeched hugging Niel 

 

"Uh when did i become aunty huh?" 

 

Ricky just shrugged in response.

 

"Ricky-ah, how about we go to the amusement park tonight?" L.Joe smiled

 

"Nah it's too many people"

 

"No we will reserve it so it's just us"

 

"Wait isn't that 20,000,000₩ an hour" Ricky questioned

 

"Yes, but we can afford it" L.Joe smiled toward the picture of his parents.

 

Sometimes having rich friends had its benefits.

 

"Well. I'm off to go see CAP" L.Joe said walking out the door

 

"Uh ok i suppose I'll go and  eat breakfast" Niel said walking into the kitchen 

 

The room started to get silent as everyone left.

 

"Don't you have something to do umma" Ricky asked

 

"Yeah, maybe I'll clean my apartment"

 

"Oh can I come? No, doesn't Changjo want to take you somewhere today?"

 

"Uh.....oh yes...we going to the zoo today. Whats the time?"

 

"10:47am"

 

"UH IM LATE!! Bye umma" Ricky waved

 

"Well, I'll go too. Niel I'll see you later at work ok" 

 

"Ye-ah" he replied his mouth full of cereal 

 

I wandered out of the house, locking the door behind me and heading off to my apartment. It seemed i spent most of my life in L.Joe & Niel's house. I felt lonely, my house was cold and miserable. Drab, lifeless and grey. But it was and will always be my own little sanctuary, a place where my thoughts can be let out and I can reflect upon them.

 

I opened the door and walked in, moving fast to quickly throw myself down on the soft grey couch. Uhh, better start cleaning now. Although my apartment was mostly clean all the time, i still had loads and loads of boxes with needed to be cleaned out and put away ect... 

 

I decided to start with a box of old photo albums. Ahahaha. I opened the photo album to reveal images and old pictures from when I was only around 8 or 10. I flipped throughout pages and i found a certain photo — the day L.Joe moved to Inchon. 

 

#FLASHBACK#

 

My big brother took me to the park for the day. I didn't have any friends only my childhood friend Daniel Ahn. Today me and Daniel were meant to go to the park for his 7th birthday. Just two of us....but Niel didn't get a chance to talk to me becuase the adults kept smothering him and so i decided i should give him some space. I decided to have a walk around.

 

"Hi" a young boy around my own age smiled at me

 

"I'm Lee Byunghun do you want to be my friend?" He continued

 

I was still a very quiet boy at the time. So i just looked at him with a blank expression.

 

"I'm from America. You don't need to be afraid" he held out his hand, which he quickly linked with my own.

 

He dragged me into the playground and i followed only because he never let go of my hand. As we walked he told me about his life, how he just came to Korea and is staying with his older sister. I listened and after a few hours i felt safer and i felt i could trust him.

 

"So whats your name?" He finally asked

 

"Me? MMy name  i-is Chan-h-h-ee" i stuttered

 

"Haha your so cute Chanhee"

 

I was shocked, being a boy and at my age i got offended by this simple statement

 

"No I'm not cute I'm a boy!!"

 

"I'm sorry. I just think you look so pretty" 

 

"I'm-I'm not pretty either" i stuttered again my cheeks flushing bright pinky for the first time in my life someone was complimenting me and it wasn't my parents, pretty that's not really the right word to describe a boy is it? But regardless I was intrigued and I wanted to be friends with this boy. 

 

Then a woman came and took byunghun's hand and lead him away.

 

"Bye bye pretty Chanhee" he called waving 

 

He was the first friend i ever had other than Niel.

 

"I'm not pretty Lee Byunghun!!" I yelled back sticking my tongue out.

 

#end of flashback#

 

I continued sorting through books and i found an old diary of mine from when I was in third year middle school. I was around 13 at the time.

 

#flashback#

 

I ran home after school and up into my room. My world was crashing down, I wanted to cry but yet I was so happy at the same time. I felt as if i want die but I'd die of happiness. I opened up an old diary i kept because my literature teacher said — "it's good to keep a written record of your thoughts, acts and mistakes, because each one we can learn from and we can remember for the future".

 

I took out a pen and began to scrawl down the memories i had that day.

 

15 February 

Lee Chanhee 

 

 

Aish it's so wrong. I'm disgusting. 

Today i tried to avoid him again but he is my best friend. I can't live like this even being around me i feel butterflies. 

I can't tell him. I can NEVER tell him. 

I can't tell Byunghun I'm in love with him.

He made a new name for me, he keeps calling me "Chunji" and that only makes my feelings for him stronger.

Not only that he started holding hands with me like when we were little. It makes me think he is returning my feelings.

Byunghun said when we start senior year he wants to be called "L.Joe" he said his friends in America think it's 'cool'

But i like my hunnie the way he is. He is so perfect, i don't want him to change. But all i want is for him to be happy, even if he isn't happy with me. I will always watch him from a distance and protect him. I love you lee Byunghun.

 

I want Byunghun to be happy 

 

#end of flashback#

 

Wow, even now i still love L.Joe so much. He was my first and only love. I know he is completely straight now, but i still hide my feelings for him, because I want him to be happy. That's all, I don't mind if my feelings aren't mutual, i don't mind if I'm alone for the rest if my life. I want L.Joe to be happy.

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