It was 8:30 am and I was in the staff bathrooms preening. I finger combed my hair for the umpteenth time to make it lie flat on my head and swept to the side, flicking my head to make it look like it was in that place naturally. I finger combed my fringe to make it sort of cover my eyes but not quite. My nose was still tender but you couldn’t see that on my face.

I smiled brightly at myself in the mirror before abruptly reverting back into my neutral expression. On. Off. On. Off. My smile had to be like a lightbulb. Sure it gives light, but it’s still artificial.

I made sure there was nothing in my teeth before straightening out my clothes. I didn’t need to wear a suit since I wasn’t anything important and had no one to impress, but I still needed to wear office appropriate clothes. I didn’t hate that. I liked it. It made me feel like I had a real job.

I live for appearances.

My trousers, although not jeans, hugged my skinny legs, and my shirt was rolled at the sleeves. I tightened my straight skinny tie and took a deep breath.

It felt like my intestines had turned into snakes, squirming and slithering with painful anxiety. What was I nervous about? I had already met Onew. There was nothing to be nervous about.

I ignored the fact that I hoped that there would be something to be nervous about.

I walked back to my desk and sat, looking diligent by being nearly half an hour early to work as I my computer for another day of surfing the internet. Yeah my job is really hard. The computer technicians even blocked minihopy. So hard!

“Lee Taemin-shii.”

I stood up quickly and bowed immediately at the familiar authoritive voice.

“Jung CEO,” I greeted.

I peeked at the man next to him. Oh man oh man!

“Lee CEO,” I breathed, bowing down again, keeping my eyes on his waist.  Wow he had a really nice waistline. I wish I could hug him there, like loosely drape my arms around him.

 Like if he belonged to me.

Like if he was mine.

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted. I trust you know how to perform your duties, Lee Taemin-shii?”

“Neh, Jung CEO,” I said quickly, nodding as he walked away.

I shyly peeked up at.. Onew.

“Hello,” he said pleasantly, smiling.

When he smiled, it was like the sun was coming out, his smile exuded warmth and friendliness. His smiles were real deal, pure sunshine, not a flickering light bulb like mine.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea?” I offered.

Onew laughed. “I am still scarred about what I did to you yesterday when you were making tea. How are your hands and your nose?”

I touched my nose. “It’s fine,” I say, which it is since it’s just sore. “What can I get you?”

“I feel like Starbucks, so I’ll just run out at morning tea.”

“I can get it for you now,” I say. That is actually my job.

“What? Are you allowed?”

I resisted the urge roll my eyes and flicked on my fake smile. Clearly in his last job he didn’t have a PA. “Yes. I do whatever you want me to. I can get you coffee and food from wherever you feel like. I can help buy gifts for your family and friends when the occasion arises and you’re too busy, do your drycleaning and whatever little task you can’t be bothered doing, I’ll do it for you.”

I do my best to beam at him and rub my sweaty hands on my trousers. Why am I so scared? “I’m your personal assistant. I will assist you in anything that’s personal.”

He looked flustered. “That’s your job?”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling like he was looking down on me and I bit my lip. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Of course not,” he said, regaining that warm smile and looking at me kindly. “I would just feel bad for bothering you and making you do things. I’ve never been in charge of someone before.”

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “Do you want me to go to Starbucks?”

“Uhh.. if that’s okay with you?”

I nod.

“Um.. can you get me a medium Americano please?” he asked,  grabbing his wallet from his pocket and pulling out a black card. “And buy something for yourself too. When you get back here I want to show me what you bought for yourself, okay?”

“Don’t you have cash?” I asked, holding the piece of plastic. No boss has trusted me with this before.  He’s just so nice and trusting. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t know whether you should give me your card.”

“I trust you Lee-shii,” he said happily.  “My PIN number is 8888.”

“Here you are,“ I said carefully, handing him his cup with both hands. He took the plastic cup and our fingers met for just a second. Just a second for me to know that they’re soft and warm.

I quickly hand him his card back.

“Thank you so much! What did you get for yourself?” he asked.

I pointed to the small cup of hot chocolate I had on my desk. “Thank you, Lee CEO- I’m sorry you had to waste your money on me.”

“Not good enough,” he tsked, smiling so his eyes were like little moons. “The next time I send you out I want to see you with a big cup.”

I smiled shyly back as I gave him some sugar packets.

What was wrong with me? I have never been speechless before in my life. Especially in front of hot guys. Normally I’m bubbling over with charm and smiles and aegyo- and I’m like a flat boring line right now. I want to impress him. I want him to be pleased at me and smile and notice me.

“Hey- are you scared of me or shy?” asked Onew, his voice breaking into my thoughts.

“I don’t know,” I said nervously, biting my lip.

“Don’t be, okay? You have nothing to be afraid of. Even if I did nearly break your nose the first time we met,” he laughed. “Hey- look at me.”

I had been staring at his shoes. They were pointy and looked expensive.

I peeked at him from underneath my fringe.

“Think of me like a hyung, okay? You’ll see I’m not that bad. I’ll look after you well, okay?”

I nodded, sweating from the eye contact. He looked so genuine. He was so hot.

I was mellltttiiiinnnggggg!

“And there’s no way I would be mean to such a cutie-pie like you,” he grinned. “So you don’t have anything to worry about, understand?”

I nodded again, gulping. He thought I was cute…

“Good boy,” he said, reaching out to cup my cheek and rubbed his thumb against my cheek as my heart jumped and fizzled erratically. “You’re so sweet. I’ll talk to you if I need help. Sorry to disturb you from your work.”

“Neh, Lee CEO,” I replied as he withdrew his hand. “Thank you.”

I walked back as normally as I could to my desk while my face was on fire, thankful Onew couldn’t see it from his office.

I slumped in my desk, grabbing my booklet about company procedures to fan myself as I silently screamed.

He called me cute again! He called me sweet! He thought I was a good boy! He touched my cheek again!

I should be so happy...I should be over the moon. But the knot in my stomach only increased with my dizziness.

Onew was so kind.  Onew was heartbreakingly nice.  He was too good for me.

I didn’t want him to be mine. I wanted to be his. I wanted him to own me, to be his precious object that he revered. I wanted him to my cheek for ever because he had the right, because I was his.

I liked him just a little bit.

It was like my insides were churning in foreshadowing. I ignored it and logged on to my computer to check my emails that me and my other PAs circulated and chain replied. I replied to EunMi who was complaining about how her boss left used tissues all over his desk like every other day and she had to pick them up, internet laughing at her demise with the other PAs. I forwarded an email that had pictures of where people had drawn on the concrete with chalk and it looked real and promised me good luck if I forwarded it to 15 people.

I did not think about Onew’s hand, impossibly warm and soft, cupping my cheek. I did not still feel the warmth and the tingle, did not still feel his thumb rubbing my cheek. It was just an affectionate gesture, for God’s sake. I was NOT going to daydream about how he was going to “look after me.”

Hello y, a new email read in the subject tagline. Joon.

I already had a boyfriend. Onew was married. Nothing might happen. It wasn’t that those points would stop me. But it might stop someone as nice as Onew.

He is really hot though.

I smiled goofily as I forwarded an email to all the other PAs with baby rabbits.

A/N Taemin fixing his hair in the beginning of the chapter (you preen yourself good, taeminnie)