“Hello, Strongfective Advertising, Creative Producer Lee Jinki speaking.”

“Jinki-ssi?”

“Yes, how may I help you?” asked Onew politely, twirling his pen.

He felt like he was a corporate zombie. He dreaded coming into work, knowing that everything he saw would remind him of Taemin. He had lost all the respect of his coworkers and boss, and hanging out with Joon just made him angry and jealous that he had experienced Taemin first and before him. Going home was  even worse. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t bring himself to talk to Taeyeon, who wouldn’t even look at him.

“I’m sorry to call you here, but it’s really necessary,” said the male voice over the phone. “Taemin is in a really, really bad shape. He needs help. You should see him.”

“I’m sorry, who is this?” asked Onew, annoyed. He felt his a blossom of hurt in his heart at the mention of Taemin’s name.

“Key. Look, I know you’ve met Taemin’s parents or whatever. You really need to call them and get them to help him.”

“How did you get my number? And why can’t you do it? I don’t think he would want to see me either. I’ll try find their number for you but I personally don’t have it,” said Onew. He didn’t want to see Taemin’s face again or talk to his family. He knew that if he saw Taemin, he would still love him but still be furious. Plus with all the stuff he had said, he wouldn’t be surprised if Taemin never wanted to see him again either. The words just spilled out of his mouth, and he had winced when he heard them too. He hadn’t meant them, he just wanted to hurt Taemin like Taemin had hurt him. And that was the first thing that had thought of. Onew had hated himself all the way back to his apartment that night. And then the morning after.

Actually, the hating of himself never stopped.

“Naver. Look, I really need your help, and Taemin does too. I’m so angry at him right now, but he’s scaring me as well. He kept mumbling about losing something.”

“Did he lose his cutlery?” asked Onew, leaning forward. “Oh God.”

“What? You know about this? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing. I’ll go over. Will I see you there?”

Key sighed. “Possibly, even though I might hate him at the moment.”

Onew pinched the bridge of his nose. Did he even want to know? Not really. He had enough of his own problems.

“Okay. I’ll leave now.”

He could tell that his boss wasn’t impressed when he said that he had to leave for an emergency until Onew lied and told him that his baby was sick and needed to go to the hospital. He looked haggard enough to play the part of a depressed parent, and it wasn’t entirely a lie- Taemin used to be his baby. His little love.

Onew had no idea what he was walking into. He thought maybe Taemin would be having a panic attack, and they might have another argument. And as much as he didn’t want to argue again, he wanted to see Taemin one more time. Just one more time. It had been so long since he had seen his beautiful face. Would Taemin be healthy, obviously not affected at their breakup? Or would he look terrible, and Onew could feel better that Taemin was missing him? He should apologise but still be stern, he thought to himself as the taxi took him through a familiar route in the city. It had only been about two weeks and yet it felt like it had been two years. His heart was beating so fast, fluttering against his chest like a bird.

He was not prepared.

Onew rang the intercom.

“Taemin?” he tentatively said into the speaker. “Hey. Um. I think we should talk. Hopefully not argue.”

The monitor didn’t flicker to life, showing that Taemin hadn’t even seen who it was outside his door.

Onew wondered if Taemin was home. Heaving a sigh and steeling himself, he punched in the passcode.

His imagination had done it no justice.

Gaping, he only remembered to take his shoes off out of reflex as he scanned the apartment he once considered a second home, a haven, a beautiful and happy escape.

It was quite dark due to the sky being overcast and when he flicked on the lights, it got even worse.

There was stuff everywhere.

Just lots of lots of stuff.

Clothes strewn all over the floor, tossed over furniture, and was that jacket torn in two? CDs littered the living room floor, a few snapped like someone had stepped in them. Clotheshangers, pots, cords and junk covered every spare space, but that wasn’t the worst. The curtains had been pulled out of their pegs, and it looked like a hurricane had passed by. The TV and sound system were both tipped over, the TV facedown on the ground in front of the console it used to stand on. It was probably cracked. The couch had a huge rip in the middle, stuffing overflowing in what looked like a long and deliberate scar.

But the worst was the smell. Onew looked to the kitchen to see the trash can on it’s side, it’s contents spread out all over the kitchen floor and overlapping on more miscellaneous junk.

Did Taemin do all this?

His heart thumping, Onew walked into the apartment further, trying not to step on anything.

“Taemin?” he called. “Are you home?”

He jumped as he stepped on paper which crinkled underneath his foot. “Taemin?”

He walked over to the kitchen, where he could see the drawers all piled on top of one another on the floor while the cabinet had gaping holes. Maybe he should pick up the trash because it was really bothering him, or fill a glass of water for Taemin who he thought would be in the bedroom.

He yelped when he felt his foot kick something and he tripped over a warm bundle that was huddled just behind the cabinet. A little whimper from the bundle made Onew’s heart beat double time.

“Oh my god.”

He dropped down to his knees, alarm ringing in his head.

“Taemin?”

Taemin had been curled up into a ball, and when he raised his head, Onew couldn’t help but gasp.

Taemin looked horrible. The worst he had ever seen on a human being, because Taemin looked so unhealthy. His face was pale and thin- Taemin’s cheeks were supposed to be full and round, where did his Taeminnie go? Those lips were chapped and peeling, dried blood in some places he must have bitten, stretched down into a frown. But the worst, was Taemin’s eyes. Taemin looked totally out of it, giving him a vacant stare. The dark circles under his eyes looked like bruises, and it looked like his chin had a real bruise on it. His red rimmed eyes told Onew he had been crying a lot, and there were red friction marks at his temples- Onew deduced it might’ve been from Taemin wiping his eyes many, many times.

Onew’s heart was breaking. He had never wanted to see Taemin like this. Taemin looked broken. He was so worried, he was nearly breathless.

“Taemin? Are you okay?”

“H-h-hyung?” whispered Taemin. “T-t-taeminnie’s scared.”

Onew felt like his head was going to implode with worry and fear.

“Taemin, what happened? Why is your house like this?”

Onew watched as Taemin pulled at his messy hair, his fingernails looking like they were coated in dried blood. Oh my god. Onew panicked as Taemin burst into tears.

“T-t-taeminnie lost his ch-chopsticks!” sobbed Taemin violently. “Taeminnie can’t find them! T-taeminnie doesn’t know where they are!” Taemin screamed the last part and Onew had no choice but to engulf him in his arms. This was bad. This was really bad.  The referring of himself in third person was scaring Onew, showing how unhinged Taemin had become. His little Taeminnie, was sobbing and shaking in his arms. He should’ve come sooner. Guilt washed over him. He knew Taemin did not cope well. He should’ve messaged him, asked if he was okay, known what he was up to. Taemin was not like anyone else. The Taemin he knew wouldn’t be able to handle this, but he didn’t know that he could be this bad. And he felt so guilty that he knew, and now it had spiralled into this.

“Okay,” Onew soothed, running his hands down Taemin’s trembling back. It felt a lot bonier than what he remembered. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Calm down, I’m here. You’re fine, baby.”

Taemin’s hair smelt like sweat and general nastiness, but Onew didn’t care. He loved this being and everything about him. He was finally touching him. He needed to help him. He forgot all about their history, because all he could think about was Taemin Taemin Taemin and each throb his heart would wrench at the name.

“Taemin my strong boy, you’re a good boy,” Onew soothed, unable to resist the urge to take care of him. “Can you be brave and listen to me?”

Taemin fisted his hands into Onew’s crisp baby blue shirt, inhaling deeply.

“Oh my honey,” crooned Onew, his voice cracking and pressing a soft kiss in Taemin’s hair. “That's it. My sweetheart, do you want some water?”

Onew was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and he tensed until he heard the steps and voice of Key.

“Taemin?” Key called.

“We’re over here,” Onew called.

“,” cursed Key as he knelt down next to them. “Oh no Taemin.”

Onew watched confusedly as Key grabbed Taemin’s arm and yanked up the sleeve, both gasping as they saw so many scratches, most of them scabbed but still slightly oozing.

And the worst thing was Taemin didn’t do anything. His muscles didn’t tense, he didn’t protest. He just lay slumped in Onew’s arms, his face still buried in his shirt.

“When you told me that it might be his cutlery, I remembered I had a pair of his chopsticks,” said Key, looking guilty. “I bought them over.”

Onew noticed the chopsticks in Key’s hand, definitely Taemin’s, and he felt a bit sick. He didn’t know how Taemin would react.

“Taemin…he has issues with his cutlery. I think he’s got a mental problem,” explained Onew, muttering the last part quietly to Key. “Taemin look. Sweetheart, look- Key has your chopsticks.”

Onew swore he heard Taemin’s neck snap as he looked to Key who was holding the chopsticks up to him.

Taemin just stared at them. Onew watched as Taemin reached out with shaking fingers to snatch them, his other hand reaching behind him. The sound of light clinking of metal was heard and Onew wanted to cry as he realised that the rest of the cutlery was behind Taemin. Taemin had been guarding the rest of his cutlery.

“These are not Taeminnie’s chopticks,” said Taemin.

Key looked startled, whether at the third person or at what he said, Onew didn’t know.

“They are. Remember the last time I bought over food? I took them by mistake when I left. I’ve been meaning to give them back to you.”

“But Taeminnie looked everywhere, everywhere,” Taemin keened, a chopstick in each fist. “These aren’t real. These aren’t my chopsticks. This is wrong. Everything is wrong!”

Onew flinched as Taemin started screaming in his ear, forced to let go of him as Taemin scrabbled away, still screaming.

“This is not happening!” I screamed. This couldn’t be true. Was I dreaming? This was a dream. Everything was wrong. Everything was so wrong. These can’t be my chopsticks. My chopsticks were mine. My head hurt. Everything hurt. I couldn’t breathe.

“Calm down,” I heard the one who first talked to me say. “Taemin darling, please come here. Let’s sit down. Get something to eat, something to drink?”

“Why are you in Taeminnie’s house?” I screamed, afraid. Taemin hated this man. Taemin loved this man so much, he hated him. Taemin would be angry if he knew this person was here.

“I came because I was worried about you!” he pleaded, looking at me. “Please, I want to help you!”

“Who are you?” I snapped. “How do you know where Taeminnie lives?”

The two of them looked shocked. Taemin felt sad. Taemin was inside me, and I could feel that he was crying. He had loved these people with all his heart, and they had both betrayed him. Taemin didn’t want to come out and see them.

“Taemin, it’s me, Onew hyung!” he said.

I saw the other one touch Onew’s arm like he was telling him to stop.

“Who are you?” I screamed at the other one, my voice high. “You’ve come to get Taemin, haven’t you. You hurt Taeminnie so badly. You’re going to kill Taemin. Stop, stop you can’t!”

They both stood up and I backed out, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and the world tilted. They were bad people, and the worst thing a person could do was kill someone. They were going to kill me. Everyone was going to kill me.I threw the chopsticks in my hands at them and they flinched. Good, I hope they were scared and would run away. Run away as fast as they can, just like they did before when they saw the real Taemin. Taemin, who trusted them. Especially the nice one. He nearly tricked me, until Taemin whispered in my mind about what he said to him. The nice one was the worst, with words like knives.

“Please sweetheart,” the fake nice one said. “We should go over to Key’s place and just settle down. When was the last time you ate?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I announced, feeling like I was going to throw up. “You can’t make me. I don’t need you. I’m not going with you anywhere again!”

Black spots appeared in my vision but I kept going. “You’re a liar. You made Taemin believe in you. You’re just like the rest of them. You’re going to kill me. Never again. Get out!”

The other one stepped toward me and I screamed, running to my bathroom where they couldn’t get me.

“Uncle Heechul!” I yelled down the hallway. Where was he? He said he would always protect me. “Umma! Uncle!”

I shut the door and locked it as they followed me, now they kept knocking. Couldn’t they leave me alone? This was my house. My house. They had their own houses. Go back to those!

I looked in the mirror, and I screamed. Taemin was in there, and he was SO UGLY. HE WAS A MONSTER AND TAEMIN LOOKED SO UGLY AND HE WAS TRAPPED IN THE GLASS.

Taemin was staring at me, crying and screaming too. His eyes were red like a crazy person, his hair sticking up. His skin was so pale like he was dead, I could see the squirming maggots crawling out of his nose and mouth. I clutched my head. He was going to get out of the glass and kill me, I hated him! He needed to go away, he was so ugly, no one wanted him. I didn’t want him. My eyes hurt. I raised my fists and punched the glass, but it didn’t work. I was too weak and I couldn't breathe and my chest felt like I was being squashed. I was having a heart attack and if he didn't die, I would. I reached under the sink and grabbed a bottle of something, throwing it at the mirror. It shattered and I screamed, and I could hear more screaming outside and the door was shaking. The lid came off the bottle and sprayed it on me and it was burning my arms, it hurt so bad and I couldn’t stop screaming. I could hear something ringing and I couldn’t see anymore but I could still hear screaming, just so much screaming and crying. And then I was falling. Just for a second. It was so fast. My head cracked on something and for a second I couldn’t think of anything, everything was just red and blank. I stopped screaming and I felt like I was floating. And then it all went black.

Onew and Key were both freaking out at the hysterical screaming coming from Taemin, Onew using his shoulder to try break the door open. They heard a loud shatter of glass and then Taemin’s screams turned to ones filled with pain, and Onew got even more desperate. Key ran to try to find something to help, but when he returned, a loud thump was heard. They felt the vibration of something heavy and distinctly human hit the floor and it scared Onew so much. Onew kicked the door open with pure adrenaline, his heart hammering more harder than any time it ever had in his life.

They burst into the bathroom. Key screamed with his hands over his mouth as the body of Taemin was crumpled on the floor, blood steadily staining the tiles by his head.

A/N

Some of you guys have been asking about why Taemin is so obsessed with his cutlery, what is exactly wrong with him, and I’m sorry but I keep forgetting to answer in the comments! So this is what’s wrong with Taemin:

Taemin has problems with anxiety- he feels more anxious than other people if they were in his situation. Some people have panic attacks, but Taemin’s anxiety comes out through OCD, which stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. He is compulsively obsessed with things because his mind thinks that it helps him cope. When his anxiety levels rises, so does his OCD.

OCD also has many different forms- some people become germaphobes and obsessively clean, other people obsessively organise or have actions they obsessively do. For example, I knew a girl who had to rattle the door of her room in a dorm thirty times and turn the knob seven times every night. She also had everything in her room in plastic bags. I only know this because this was when I was in the States in college and everyone on her side of the floor could hear it and would count every night after she would slam the door.

Taemin is an obsessive compulsive checker. He always needs to check. Some people compulsively check something like the gas is turned off, or if all their money is still in the same place, but with Taemin it’s his cutlery.  If he doesn’t check, then his anxiety gets even worse. It’s not that Taemin wants to check, but his mind makes him. It makes him feel sick if he doesn’t because his mind is obsessed. He had only been mild in severity before this whole story arc, only developing when he moved to the city and it was hard for him.

However, his anxiety and his mental state has reached a breaking point, as he is depressed and very upset with himself and at the situation and you must realise, he is obsessed with his cutlery. It was very traumatic for him to lose his chopsticks because it feels like his mind and mood is related to them. Taemin also has zero support with his anxiety. Humans are social animals and need human interaction. His people that he normally turned to have turned away from him, and therefore he had a nervous breakdown. A nervous breakdown is when the emotions and anxiety become all too much and as a result, the person mentally shuts down.

I chose Taemin to be obsessed with his cutlery because he is supposed to represent a feminine character that is carrying the sole blame, as it is normally the females that get the scorn, not the males.  He gets the punishment, because in the world, it’s the women that get the punishment. I’ve purposely made Taemin into the things that people like to insult women with- he’s slept with lots of people, money hungry, narcissistic/vain, weak to cute things (babies and puppies), not smart/unable to do real work and easily distracted by emotion. But the biggest thing- he is obsessed with the image of his home, like a good housewife. His cutlery is the representation of having his own home. He always wants to check them, always wants to reassure himself that this is still there. This is a supposed to link to how housewives are always polishing the cutlery, how you put out the best cutlery when guests come over, when someone poor comes over you don’t want them to “steal the silverware/cutlery”= link to stealing husbands and boyfriends like what TM does. This is what the cutlery is supposed to mean in this story.

“A women’s place is in the home”, and people always get mad at the women who wreck another woman’s home- calling them s, golddiggers, etc. But it’s the men’s fault just as much as it is the women, if not more since it’s the men who are straying from their family and putting them up to be messed with. So I hope you see that it’s not only Taemin’s fault, even if he specifically targets taken men. Onew and Joon were the ones who sacrificed his family for it. Men leave when they get bored or it’s no longer fun. Only men will say “I love you” to get someone into bed- and like most women, Taemin doesn’t realise this.

Also, have you guys seen this show called “Obsessed?” It’s about people with OCD and I’m watching it right now and this woman is literally sweating on the couch as the doctor tries to get her to sit because she wants to clean the table. OCD is a very hard and tough disorder because it’s not like they can take medicine and be better. It’s within their own mind and they have to cure themselves with the help of therapy.

And since it is nearly the end of my story: please upvote! If you think this is one of the better stories you've read and you think this deserves an upvote, then you should upvote. And be thankful that I'm not an author who says "I want 10 more upvotes or NO UPDATE" ahahaha. But I would love to see this upvoted before my story dies and everyone forgets about poor Homewrecker :'( haha. 

Thank you all for reading and commenting! You guys make my day :)