Hello! You probably want to know my name. Well, my boyfriends call me names. Names like babe. Baby. Beautiful. y. And if they’re a bit old school, honey.

Then when they become ex boyfriends that call me things like a mistake. Life ruiner. Worst decision of my life. Regret.

I’ve also been called things like trash. . Manwhore. Animal. Rubbish. Good for nothing. Son of a . Once I got called a dumpster!

Poor boy, you might be thinking. No one deserves to be called these names. Oh, but I do.

See, the most common name I get called is homewrecker by all my boyfriends’ wives, girlfriends, children, family, friends, colleagues.

You can call me Lee Taemin.

And I love taken guys.

I don’t know when I started and why. But I remember my first crush when I was 13. He was so cute. His eyes were sparkly and kind. He smelt really nice. He was a year above me.

He had a girlfriend.

It was easy to flirt when you live in a country which accepts skinship and doesn’t acknowledge homouality.

 It was amazing.

 I loved it when he teased me about little things, the way he would sling his arm around my shoulders and we would be this close and I could look into his eyes and a centimetre more and we would be kissing. He made my stomach twist when he smiled at me, and it was so easy to touch him, to lean on him, to message him and remind him of me. He was always on my mind and I wanted to always be on his. It made me feel so special that he chose ME over his girlfriend, that he was looking after ME. He enjoyed MY company over her. She wanted him, he should belong to her, but he was MINE. I felt like I was irresistible to him. I felt like I was so attractive.

He got bold as he got used to me, running his hands up my arms, leaning his forehead against mine, even sort of holding hands. We spent all of our time together. All the time. No one questioned our touchy feely skinship. Not even his girlfriend.

But she did question whether he liked his friends more or her.

And no 14 year old likes being lectured by another 14 year old so he broke up with her. I remember him running up to me, eyes all bright, a quirked half happy half sad smile to announce that he was now single and could hang out more without his annoying girlfriend.

It was like a light switch had been turned off. He lost his glow. He was so boring. I didn’t want him to touch me anymore. I didn’t want him if she didn’t want him either.

Many more repeats and a few years later, here I am at the ripe old age of 19 cooking instant ramen in my beautiful  penthouse apartment (which I didn’t need to pay a bond for and had a good portion of my rent cut off since I did things with the landlord who I can’t tell his now ex-wife and kids) filled with expensive things (guys like to shower you with gifts when you’re the other one) as loud music blared from my expensive speakers (okay I had to pay for those).

I absently rubbed the back of my head and bit my lip as I watched the noodles bubble over and looked at the timer on my phone.

I jumped as I felt a pair of strong hands encircle my waist.

“Hey babe,” said a silky and comforting voice in my ear.

“Hey Joon hyung!” I said, turning around to kiss him and nestle into his shoulder.

“How’s my Taeminnie?” he asked, my back.

“Lonely,” I said. “Hungry,” as an afterthought, pouting.

“You’ve got so much aegyo for a boy,” he laughed, pretending to pinch my cheek as I puffed them out in mock anger.

“You’re here early today,” I remarked, enjoying him holding me.

I think I love Joon. I don’t know.  He’s the sweetest and nicest guy I’ve been with. I like him a lot. But I don’t know if I’m in love.

“Got off work early,” he said.

And the best bit.

“And I didn’t want to waste my time with Mi-young.”

When he says things like this it makes my heart beat faster. That he would rather be eating ramen with ME then his pretty wife. That he wants me over a beautiful woman. He thinks I’m better. When he says things like this, I think I love him.

“Gack!” I yelled as my ringer went off. I drained my noodles and rummaged in my drawer for chopsticks.

I have four forks, four spoons, four knives and four sets of chopsticks.  They must be clean whenever they’re in the drawer. They must be in their separate compartments. For some reason I get anxious at the thought of them not being like that. Sometimes I lie awake at night trying to remember if I saw whatever in the drawer when I last opened it and whether there might be THREE of the thing and freak out. It can never be three. I get all sweaty and nervous and always get up in the middle of the night just to check them and count them and clean them.

Yeah, I’m a bit crazy I think.

“Sorry, I only didn’t know you were coming so soon. I only made enough for me,” I told Joon sadly.

“I’m not hungry. But you’ve got enough to feed a family of horses,” he chuckled as he watched me mix in chilli paste and the sauce.

I lead him by the hand to my couch and practically sat on him.

“I don’t know how you don’t get fat when all you eat is junk,” he said as he ran his hands up and down my sides.

That’s not true. I get all fat around my face, even though my legs are really skinny and my body is really skinny too. I tell him that.

“I like your face,” he said, smiling in that way which makes his eyes upturn and his dimples show.

“I like you,” I bounce back, slurping up my noodles as we watch TV.

He kept kissing my neck even when I’m all sweaty and trying to catch my breath against the pillows.

“Enough, it’s too hot,” I groaned, pushing him away. He’s so satisfied I can feel it radiating off him as he stopped nuzzling me.  He got off the bed to probably clean himself and do whatever he does after .

It’s good though. It means I can relax for a bit and not have his disgusting overbearing body heat that I was craving only a few seconds ago.

I pushed back my sweaty fringe and reached for my ipad on my bed side.

“Don’t tell me,” he groaned as he comes into my bedroom with two bowls of icecream.

It got cold when he was away so I snuggled up to him when he climbed back in bed and I relished the cold bowl against my hands.

“Yup,” I said excitedly as I went on youtube.

“I’m so glad you liked the ipad,” he said. Oh yeah. He gave me this. And my current Iphone. And the earrings in my ears. And my clothes that were on the floor. But that doesn’t matter for now.

“Awww,” I say as I watch the first video I clicked on, the spoon clinking against my teeth as I eat the chocolate icecream.

“Oh god,” he groaned as he watches the Pomeranian puppies crawling on the floor.

I really like puppy videos. He eats icecream afterwards. I watch puppy videos.  He’s used to it, so we just lie there cuddled up while I watch video after video of puppies running, puppies falling over, puppies sleeping.

After a while I let my eyes close and felt him carefully take the ipad off my hands, and go to sleep.

A kiss to my cheek. A whispered “I love you, sweet dreams,” against my ear. Rustling of clothes being put on, my bedroom door being shut softly and carefully. He thinks I’m asleep but I’m not. I always wake up at 3am when he leaves me for her. I feel second best. It’s times like this when I think I must love him if I want him so much.

 But it always feels like this until they break up with their partners and I want to throw them away too.

Contrary to what you might assume, I work. I work as a personal assistant in an advertising company in Seoul. It’s fun! Well as fun as work can be. It’s the best job I’ve had since leaving high school at 16. Joon works in the company too, which is how I met him. People might find making coffees and making sure people’s suits are back from the drycleaners is stupid, but I think it’s fun. It’s easy. I get to dress up for work, get invited to all the advertising parties which are the best, heaps of free samples and get good money.  It makes my mother happy.

“Taemin-shii, Jung sunbae wants to talk to you,” says his personal assistant at my desk.

Oh god. Why does the boss want to see me? What have I done now? I’ve done nothing wrong in the last few months. Oh god!

“Lee-shii, have a seat,” Jung sunbae gestured as I bow and do my greetings.

“Lee-shii, you have surprised the company with your efficiency and attention to detail. You have been doing a very good job,” he said gruffly.

Wow! Praise! So I’m not in trouble? My hands wers still sweating but I forced them not to move on my knees. Nervous habits are the worst. It makes you look scared and incompetent. I never do them.

“You’re always on time, dress impeccably and never miss a memo. Lee Joon-shii always talks highly of you.”

Good. Good. Thank you Joon hyung.

“I think we might be wasting your talent in your current job since you are so young, and I’m curious to see if you can do something more. We have an opening for an assistant for a new executive? I would like to see if you are interested in the job before we look externally.”

“A PA to an executive?” I asked, stunned. A PA to a partner was a lot more relaxed than my job now. It was a step higher.

“Not a pa. An assistant. See, Lee Joon keeps insisting that you have potential to be more. Although you do not have the right qualifications, we want to see if you can develop your skills. Your job would be to act as an assistant in the meetings to the new executive, sort of like an intern as well as a personal assistant. And then you can learn, and maybe advance higher in the company when you find your forte.”

I am speechless. They want to.. teach me? I can go higher even though I didn’t even graduate from high school? Jung sunbae sees my shock as hesitance.

“Of course you will be getting more benefits. You will move to the 8^th floor and have a more private and larger desk.  You will get a small clothing allowance. And a pay rise, of course.”

“Omo,” I said softly. “That sounds amazing.”

“I take that as a yes?” he smiled. “The executive’s name is Lee Jinki. His first day is next Wednesday. Here is some general information about him.”

He hands me a thin folder.

“Congratulations Lee-shii. You have a good future ahead of you.”

I nod and shake his hand, feeling like I’m in a dream.  Was that a promotion? But I’m not anything special.

A/N Extra extra long chapter! Since I am so excited about my new fanfiction! Haha I really shouldn't be starting a new fic. Oh well.

My name is Esther and you would normally find me in my OTP tag of keytae/taekey, but ontae are too cute to resist! so.. i had to make my contribution. Hope it's okay so far =_=

Leave a comment and tell me what you think!

<3