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                Do you know that feeling of complete and utter calmness? That feeling you get right before you go to sleep after having worked for the entire day and you’re finally putting your feet up. Or when your life is finally everything you’ve always dreamed of, and now you can coast on without a single care in the world. Or right before you die. The ringing in your ears, loud and painful as it drills into your skull, but somehow, you know it’s the right kind of sound. The pain of your injuries finally going fading away, your body numb, but the good kind of numb because you’ve been feeling for so long and now it can all stop. The light blinding, but not painfully because it’s your light. Your calm, peaceful light telling you that everything is done and now you just need to be calm; just let death happen.

                This was the type of calm that I felt, however it was so extremely unwanted because I know I shouldn’t be dying. Heck, I haven’t even had my first kiss, gotten married, or even fallen in love, so no, I didn’t want this calm to exist for me at all. So when the hand clamped around my throat and a knife was dug into my side, I did the only rational thing. Not remain calm.

                “Shut up you little--!” A deep voice rumbled inches above my face as he removed the knife from my insides and instead decided it would be better to cover my mouth to hold in my cries of bloody murder. “You shut up or I do worse than this.” His nearly black eyes looked down at me as he hovered over me on my bed, his breath fanning over my face as I visibly struggled to catch my own breath. He chuckled, enjoying the way I squirmed. “You should have listened to us and co-operated like a good little girl. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had to have killed so many people you loved.” He laughed and sent a sickening smile down at me. I wished in that moment that I could light fires with my mind because I would burn him extra crispy.

                I had remembered going back downstairs and finishing up the chores for the day, and not once seeing any of the boys. When it was getting close to eleven I decided to get to bed and as soon as my bedroom door shut, I heard loud footfalls on the staircase and the front door open and then shut. I had run to the window to see if I could see them leave, but all I saw were red taillights in the far distance. I had sighed and given up on the entire situation and decided to just go to bed. I would see them in the morning. I never heard this man come in, and I wasn’t aware of what time it was, but it was still night time and no one appeared to be back yet.

                “You think someone is going to come save you, don’t you?” His voice brought me out of my thoughts and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Stupid, stupid little girl, no one can save you,” he leaned in closer to me, our noses inches apart, “no one can save you from me.” At that I bit his hand, maybe no one could save me, but I could at least try to save myself. I wouldn’t go down without a fight, but when he cursed and aimed the knife at my throat I let out another scream, telling the heaven’s that I was a coward and regretted everything.

                Just as I shut my eyes and was prepared to die, happy that I would at least get to be with my parents again, a loud bang was heard in the distance and someone was shouting my name. Actually, now that I’m paying closer attention, a lot of people are calling my name. My eyes were shut tight and I couldn’t seem to open them, but someone started shacking my shoulders violently, shouting my name.

                “Suzy,” that deep voice called, he sounded so far away already, “Suzy wake up right now.” Gosh he doesn’t have to sound so demand- wait wake up? I felt my eyebrows scrunch as I forced my eyes open. Gone was the calm feeling of having your life taken away and accepting it, replaced with the terrible feeling of an overly chaotic life.

                When I came to my senses and my eyes scanned the room, looking for the man that have broken in and tried to kill me. “Where is he?” I breathed out, backing up on my bed so I was wedged into the corner, my body shaking in fear?

                “Where is who?” Yongguk asked. He had been the one to shake me and was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Suzy, no one is here, you were having a nightmare.”

                I registered the others standing in the room, looks of worry on each of their faces. I gulped, my body still shaking. It had felt so real, his voice still ringing in my head, the scent of his peppermint breath still floating in my nose. I shook my head, eyes scanning all the dark corners. “No, he was here, he was just here!” I couldn’t help the panic in my voice as I attempted to sink further into the wall.

                A hand landed on my knee and I jumped in fear but it didn’t more. “I swear no is here,” Yongguk stated, his voice held the care of a father, his eyes strong and sure, “no one will ever hurt you I swear on my own life.”

                My protests lodged themselves in my throat as I began to wail, crawling across the bed and into Yongguks arms where he my back. The boys had gotten themselves some spare blankets and pillows and piled onto my bedroom floor. They told me they would spend the night in here to protect me and I didn’t argue, grateful for their warmth and protectiveness. I knew in the morning I would questions Yongguk’s kindness, because this was very different from the persona he portrayed, but for now, I accepted his strong arms and snuggled in between him and HimChan, falling back asleep, this time, dreaming of a fantasy candy land.

~*~*~

                I heard birds chirping off in the distance and the scent of morning dew waft into my room the next morning. I groaned, knowing my alarm would probably go off at any moment, and stretched out. Only I couldn’t move and inch because of the eighty pounds of weight that was on me. I opened my eyes, wincing at the bright light of the sun shining down on me. Wait, was I on the floor? And why was a very shirtless Yongguk pressed up against me? I managed to move a little more and realised that I was wedged between a very shirtless HimChan as well. Perfect.

                “Go back to sleep, Princess,” I heard HimChan mutter as he adjusted his arm around me. I held my breath, not sure if I was happy with this or not. Stopping my heart from going way too out of control, I shifted once more only to receive and annoyed sigh from Yongguk, his face contorting in annoyance.

                Being annoyed in this situation as well, I gave up and did the only rational thing. “If you do not let me up this instant I will go to the bathroom right here, right now.” The boys’ arms flew off me and the both sat up, rubbing their eyes and sending me annoyed looks. I smiled innocently and headed to the washroom, stumbling when I caught a glimpse of the clock reading that it was half past ten in the morning. “Oh my Lord it’s that late!” I squealed, waking the rest of the boys as I slammed the bathroom door shut and started the shower. If uncle knew that I had slept in this late he would have my head.

                When I entered my bedroom again, fully dressed but only half ready to start the day, I noticed the boys were gone, blankets and all from the makeshift bed they had made last night. The covers on my bed were still rumpled from then they had woken me, and my heart stopped when I remembered my nightmare. I shook my head. That’s all it was; a dream and nothing more. I headed downstairs to the sounds of dishes clacking and laughter mixed with Daehyun’s instructive shouts.

                “What’s happening in here?” I asked when I entered the kitchen. It looked like a hurricane, tornado, and a war had been through here, but the smiling boys holding plates of food made me forget the mess that I would have to clean, and I smiled.

                “We made breakfast for you Noona!” Zelo chimed, presenting a plate of waffles.

                I smiled entering the kitchen and following them to the breakfast nook where we all took a seat and dug in. It had been a long time since I had sat down and had a meal with a group of people. I usually take my meals at downtimes where all the guests were looked after and a handful of chores had been taken care of. It felt nice to be part of the chaos as food fell of the table and jokes were passed around. No one brought up last night and I was thankful, but it still lingered in my mind. I hadn’t realized I had zoned out until Jongup’s hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped so high that I almost fell out of my chair.

                “Jongup!” I gasped, my hand flying to my heart where it thumped quickly in my chest, “don’t scare me like that.”

                “Sorry Noona,” the boy whispered, concern on his face. Everyone had stopped eating and were staring at us, mostly me. “You were just sitting there staring off into space, I was worried.”

                I took a breath and smiled, “I’m fine I promise, now finish eating.” Everyone nodded, but I could have sworn that none of them looked convinced. I excused myself and started piling up the empty plates and platters, bringing them over to the sink. Just as the boys finished eating and were carrying their plates over to me, the phone rang. I shut the tap off and wiped my hands, picking up the phone.

                “Hello?” I asked turning my back on the boys as the finished clearing off the table.

                “Hello, is this Suzy? Suzy Kim?” The lady on the other end asked. After replying that it was indeed me, the lady sighed, “I have some news.” News? What news? My mind raced as my heart thumped. “It’s about your Uncle, Wesley Kim.” She was addressing him by his English name and not his Korean name, Jinyoung which meant that this call was coming from Canada. My heart almost stopped.

                “Is everything okay? What’s happened to him!?” The boys stopped what they were doing and had turned to look at me, my panic probably alerting them.

                “Miss. Kim,” she said, her voice strained with emotion as she struggled with her next words, “I’m sorry, but---.” I didn’t hear what she said as I dropped the phone and fell to my knees, I didn’t have to. It was in her voice what had happened, what news she was supposed to relay to me. The boys rushed over, Yongguk taking the phone and speaking to the woman, Daehyun and HimChan grabbing me in an attempt to soothe me.

                I wasn’t crying yet, the tears were there but they just wouldn’t fall, instead they chose to blur my vision and burn my eyes. It felt like my heart had permanently stopped beating, no longer having the ambition and motivation to pump blood to my aching organs. My lungs, no longer knowing how to take in air, frozen and locked in my rib cage as they no longer desired the oxygen I needed. And then I felt the sweet calmness I felt in my dream knowing that I lost someone else for the second time.
 

Authors Note~
Aha....ahahaha...ha... so uh... that went unexpected, huh? Took me two years huh? hehe... he....hehe...

Author-nim has escaped again, but don't worry, I won't let her get away! 
She swore she wouldn't leave us again!
She did promise.
She doesn't normally break them.
:D
My chains are ready, don't worry.

Alright, that's enough! We all hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and we'll  see everyone in the next one.
Thanks for reading! C: