Remains of The Memory
Guilty Pleasure
Her first Monday in Seoul after a year has gone by so fast. The sky grew dark and the stars twinkled in the skylight through her windows. She flopped down on her big canopy bed, doing nothing but staring at her neon-flickering ceiling. Her room felt very quiet. Even the Nokdu street was still noisy by the hustle bustle night city life. From where she sat, she could see the silver-framed photograph of her friends and herself, taken in Heundae beach in Busan when they were fifteen. The captain of the sailboat they’d chartered had taken the picture. They were all in bathing suits, and her bestfriend Sooyung and her was making a big fart kiss on Yoona’s cheeks while the boys looked on, laughing.
Seohyun picked up her phone and dialed Yoona’s phone number. Hope to hear Yoona’s voice, the voicemail system picked it up instead
“please begin speaking after the beep” the machine told her
“Hey Yong. It’s ... me” she talking hesitated “I’m just calling to see what you’re up to. I thought maybe we could go out today, but we couldn't. I’ll see you tomorrow before the class, okay? Love you” Nighty-night. Seohyun hung up. She wanted to tell Yoona how much boarding school is. She wanted to tell Yoona how scared she was to go back to Seoul, but up until now she never have a chance.
Monday is actually Seohyun’s favorite day off the week. Because it means time for school where she could spend her 13 hours at school and her 7 hours more with her beloved friends. On monday she don't feel drained. Monday is a slow day at school. On monday nothing has gone wrong yet. On monday all is well. Like a fool, she’s always hopeful that Monday will be a new beginning for her. But not for this Monday and the Mondays of the previous weeks where everything is wrong in the beginning, there is no the new beginning there is only a continuation of the previous days.
It was an ordinary sunny August day in City Park a few months before the twelve grade promotion. Lots of kids were cutting school, just lying in the grass, smoking, or playing Frisbee. The trees surrounding the meadow were a blaze of yellows, oranges, and reds, and beyond the trees loomed the beautiful range of high-class stores across the road. Yoona, Sooyoung, Kyuhyun and Donghae are all there, but someone is missing, nowhere to be seen and it made the usual bright-cheerful atmosphere, bloomed like flowers in spring now turned gloomy. It's almost one and a half month since the last time they were in touch with Seohyun. Every time they met at school Seohyun completely ignoring them. And they’re just went on, ignoring the fact that Seohyun was ignoring them. Actually a couple of times they tried to make up with Seohyun, they are aware that it’s a wrong if keep on against Seohyun's choice. But Seohyun, being the person she is, kept avoid them, she will directly deleted the message they’ve sent without reading it at all, leave them after school everytime they’re tried to talk to her with a thousand reasons and never even opened the door whenever they visit her at house. Doesn’t mean that Seohyun didn’t miss her time with them or don’t want to make up with them, it's just that she was very disappointed with them who were against her relationship with Yonghwa because of his past despite the fact that she is now very happy with Yonghwa.
“Hey, Kyu. Have you met Seohyun yet?” Donghae asked Kyuhyun as he dribbled a soccer ball around on the grass and passed it to Kyuhyun, the girls were going somewhere for ice cream. He puffed on the joint and passed it back to Donghae and said “yeah, I went to her house last night, but as usual her mother said she wasn’t home even” Kyuhyun is the one who always visit her at her house more often than others because he lived only a block and a half away from her, and as usual Seohyun didn’t want to meet Kyuhyun yet, so for the umpteenth time her mother have to lied to Kyuhyun that she wasn’t at home when the truth is Seohyun was in her bedroom peeked through the bedroom window. Donghae shot Kyuhyun the ball and it hit in Kyuhyun’s chest and he let it roll to the ground, dribbling it between his feet
“, this stuff is strong” Kyuhyun said, no doubt besides being the key player on the school basketball team, one of Donghae's greatness is kicking a ball
“I don’t know what to do with this one tough girl. She's extremely pigheaded, she doesn’t easily give up in her stance and always build this wall to keep it stand tall how much we’re trying to destroy it” Donghae said and sat down in the grass
“yeah I know, may be the only way to make her back to us is to let her live her choice”
“And let her be on the verge of danger?” Donghae said seriously
“Well, maybe he's not that bad, at least that's what Seohyun said. And seeing the fact that she‘s living her live happily now, he's probably the best for her”
“Oh come on man. we are talking about Yonghwa! well, maybe we’re also not a good guy, not the best for Seohyun if we ever to knit a serious relationship with her, but when Yonghwa compared with us, we both are far better than him”
Donghae’s words just reminding him again of what Seohyun said while back. Is it true that he’s not much better than Yonghwa? then is he really right for Yoona? Well, it's true, he’s also a guy with need. Several times he asked Yoona to sleep with him, but a few times as well, with million reasons she always spoke the same words as Seohyun told him “I wanted to wait, I wanted it to be special…”. But is it true that was the reason why she doesn’t want to sleep with him? Or is there another reason as Seohyun said, that Yoona can’t fully trust him yet?
Yoona and Seohyun are friends from hearts, they always tell each other anything. So definitely every words that Seohyun said about Yoona was true.
Kyuhun fell down on the grass and stared at the empty blue sky. If he tilted his head all the way back, he could just see the coffee shop where he and his friends gather every day, Yoona and Seohyun included. Kyuhyun let his chin fall so all he could see was blue sky again. He was too baked to deal with any of this. He tuned his bad allegation-thought out and tried to clear his mind completely, his head as empty and blue as the sky. But he couldn't get the images of Yoona out of his minds eye.
“Hae-ah…” Kyuhyun said almost a whispered, he squinted his dark eyes, trying to block out the harsh August sunlight. He wasn’t into sun. He spent most of his free time in his room, play game
“what?”
“what have you been up to with Jessica, You sleep with her yet?” he stuttered
“honestly, last Friday night was our 3rd times” Donghae answered shyly, lay down in the grass beside Kyuhyun
“3rd times? you are really a grown man now!” Kyuhyune said try talking casually as always “Does that mean you two are together and form a bond? I mean, you know?”
“nope, we’re not and never ever be banded. I mean, we’re in a relationship but not that kind of relationship. I don’t know, it’s hard to tell, it’s complicated”
“Why are you asking anyway?” Donghae added, his hands propped under his head. Kyuhyun cleared his throat
“just asked”
Moment later, a familiar giggling of the girls echoing from afar, not two but three, apparently Jessica has joined the girls
“hey guys” Jessica nearly shouted when she saw the boys especially Donghae. She rushed over to them leaving the other girls behind. She plunking herself down beside Donghae and eagerly kissed Donghae who was still lying on the grass
“I thought you were going to shop” Donghae said between the kiss and sat up, Jessica in his lap
“I was about to go out for shopping when I saw Yoona and Sooyoung, they said you're with them so I followed them to meet you a moment” and by itself Jessica joined their afternoon routine
They talked, chit a chat and just sitting around enjoying their day. Occasionally, Sooyoung break the ice by tells this little gag that makes all of them laugh. But still this is not the same, as there is something missing from them. and sometimes the silence covered the bright afternoon, they fell silent in deep thought
“I have to go now” Jessica break the silence
“already?” Sooyoung said
“yeah, there is a big discount nearby. I don’t want to miss it” she said giggling. Jessica is so into fashion, she loves fashion, so whenever there’s a new store promotions and huge discounts she never didn’t come. And she has this Thursday after-school routine, shopping.
“I can go with you if you want?” Donghae offered
“okey”
“I think I have to go too, Changmin asked me out tonight, I have to get ready. See ya” Sooyoung said sliding her handbag into her shoulder, leaving Kyuhyun and Yoona alones.
The day has come to an end, the sun prepares to drown itself through the towering old trees in the park, and one by one people started to leave. There are only a handful of people who stay probably they were lovers who want to spend their day much longer.
“It's getting dark, I think we should go” Yoona said
Kyuhyun drove her home. Once they were alones in the car, the atmosphere turned awkward and the silence covered the rest of the night, only heard the bustle of Seoul city at night outside the car.
“here we are” Kyuhyun said expressionless. They walked out the car and standing right in front of the door
“is your parents home?” Kyuhyun asked still doesn't show his expression. Yoona scanned the boy in front of her, where did the talkactive and the full-of-expression boy Kyuhyun go? She didn’t see it in him since this afternoon
“no, they’re out of town for a couple of days” Yoona answered and slid open the door. The enormous house was empty. Her parents were rarely home. Her father ran the same firm his great-great-grandfather had founded. Both her parents were on the boards of all the big charities and arts organizations in the city and always had meetings or lunches or fundraisers to go to. So you could say that Yoona are used to this loneliness.
“come in” Yoona lead Kyuhyun to come in and sat down on one end of the couch.
“here…” Yoona gave him a signal to sit next to her. He sat down at the other end of the chair but she find Kyuhyun is being uneasy
“sleep with me! Would you?” Kyuhyun dared to ask the question that still lingering in his mind. Yoona jump in shocked, why did he asking the-most-avoided question all of sudden?
“what do you talk—” but before she could finish her sentence, she was silenced by a hot kiss on her lips
“Kyuhyun!” she warned
“what? I just kissed you” he said innocently and stared to kiss her lips passionately. Yoona kissed him back but he kinda scares her. The way he kissing her is not the kind of kiss are you doing in the afternoon with a quiet-peaceful atmosphere, it’s so wild. He began to kiss her neck and bit it, his left hand is in her back and his right hand is busy ing her shirt
“Kyu!” she got a little tense and the room tilted a bit, she falling back on the couch and closing her eyes. But the making out is growing deeper
“no Kyu, stop!” She said trying to push him but Kyuhyun keep kissing her and grip her wrist tightly
“Cho Kyuhyun! please!” she shouted, opening her eyes again and sitting up “Do you mind if we just sit here? We don’t have to do anything, okay?” she added trying to hold back her tears and buttoning her shirt back to it place
“what is the matter with you?” she asked half shouted, her eyes started to form a tear. But Kyuhyun just sit on the couch and shows his trade-mark smirk
“how long do you wanted to wait?” he said like a whisper
“what?”
“how long? I need to know”
“you scaring me Kyu” tears are now stain in her cheeks “you said you're willing to wait. And I wanted to wait, I wanted it to be special…”
“I can’t wait forever. Why don't you just forget about your obsessed of being special and start having fun like normal person” and she slap him until there is a red mark on his right cheek, but it was barely noticeable in his boiling face. A slap she gave him just now wake him up from his deep lust. What has he done? What did he say just now? Isn’t this going to destroy everything
“having fun? So you think this is all about having fun? If having is only for a mere fun, then you don’t worth to get it from me. Now please get out”
“I’m sorry Yoong… I don’t—” he try to say sorry but too late, He had hurt her feelings, she can not forgive him for now. She just can bear to hear his words.
“just go!”
The sun was setting, and Seoul City Park was basked in a pretty pink glow. The air had the distinct smell of Seoul in late Summer, a mixture of smoking fireplaces, dried leaves, steaming hot dogs, dog pee, and bus exhaust. Sighting Seohyun was seen in her favorite bakery, bringing a bag full of breads, cakes and cups of hot chocolate and coffee in each hands with a smile curved in her lips. It was Tuesday night and Seohyun is planning to make a surprise visit at the café where Yonghwa and his band perform tonight. Seohyun walked halfway down the block and there she was in front of one of the famous café in Seoul. Her heart was racing, and her face was red as the rose when she imagining how happy Yonghwa will be. He must be very happy to be visited and Seohyun herself can help but plastered a big smile in her face.
Golden star café was not an ordinary café it was big and swanky, filled with comfy armchairs and ottomans and circular banquettes, so that the guests could feel like they were having their own private party at each table. One wall was lit with dozens of black candles, flickering in the dimly lit room, and a DJ was playing mellow lounge beats on a turntable. It was only eight oclock, but the bar was already jammed with people, dressed in the hippest fashions and sipping pastel-colored cocktails. Turns out the band has not performed yet so YongHwa and the other band members were sure to be somewhere. Seohyun looked around and scanning the room self-consciously. Where was Yonghwa anyway? And there he was sitting with his back facing Seohyun and the other band members with their girlfriends or their mistress? Beside him, Seohyun could only see his half body because it was blocked by the back of the sofa.
Seohyun take a breath, just another step until she reach his back, she was going to surprised him, but she’s the one who get shocked when she saw a girl lying with Yonghwa’s hip as her pillow, the girl with shoulder-length brown hair sat up and she kiss Yonghwa’s lips passionately. She couldn’t believe what she just saw. Yonghwa, the man who has her heart, her trust, who she defended all this time up-until she lost her friendship, is kissing a girl, no! a . He's cheating on her. She was hurt but tears can’t form of her eyes, a man like him doesn’t deserve to get her tears.
“Seohyun-ssi?” Minhyuk, the drummer spoke in horror when he saw Seohyun standing frozenly behind them.
“Seohyun?” Yonghwa probably surprised to be visited, but it’s not the kind of surprised that she and he wanted to be. Yonghwa instantly push the girl in his arms away
“That ? You cheated on me with that ugly duck? Tsk ... I felt so lowly, that girl is not even in my level” she glared at the girl, flipped her hair and smirking trying to look tough. A smug look on her face
“look… I can explain…”
“There’s nothing to explain, we're done” she said with a stiff smile
“Seohyun! ...” Yonghwa was about to beg her to stay but she already on her way, she kept on pushing her way through the crowd and out the door to the street
“!” Seohyun said as she throwing the cakes into the trash
She walked over to the street to catch a cab back uptown. It was starting to rain and her hair was frizzing. A bus roared by with ‘Love is in the air’ banner on the side of it. She just smiled bitterly
“love? Tss…!” She turned her back on it and waved her hand in the air to flag down the next taxi. But the rain drops heavily and she couldn’t get away fast enough, what a perfect timing, a gloomy night for her gloomy heart. Hasn’t get a taxi yet, she decided to walk to the nearest bus stop. It is rainy, but she didn’t mind walking under the rain without an umbrella, her body was soaked anyway, there is no point for her to take shelter to avoid the rain and rain can cover her wet cheeks stained by tears so she just kept walking and walking following her footsteps. But then she realized she wasn’t go to the nearest bus stop, indeed she walked to her –they usual spot. Seohyun sat at the usual café, she chewed on her thumbnail, deep in thought. So, that's all, all her life ended like this? she lost her friends just because of this so-goddamned-jerk man? She now felt like a dumb, idiot. If only she can turn back time. But she can’t, no one can. Immediately, the waiter appeared.
“Hey Seohyun, long time no see” the waiter said
“hey Shin, nice to finally meet you after a while” she replied
“How are you doing?”
“I’m great”
“so you come with Kyuhyun?” he asked
“Kyuhyun? No I’m…”
“yes she’s with me” Seohyun glanced at Kyuhyun who come out of the blue who was glaring at her
“Anyway, what can I get you?” the waiter asked
“hot chocolate please” Seohyun said, still not take her eyes off Kyuhyun. The waiter hurried away to fetch the drinks.
“What are you doing sitting here all by yourself?” Kyuhyun asked and sit beside her. Seohyun inhaled deeply, quelling her tears, and smiled.
“just… sitting” she said awkwardly “actually, Yonghwa ditched me and now I’m all alone” she dared to tell him. Seohyun pursed her lips to keep them from trembling. Her eyes seemed to be growing larger and larger, and her face was turning splotchy. Kyuhyun had seen this transformation in Seohyun many times as they grew up together. He knew she was holding back her tear.
“oh…” Kyuhyun said, feigning disinterestedly. He knew if he bring up the topic then Seohyun probably will burst out in tears. And he can’t bear to see someone crying.
“Hey, let’s get one more drink and take it up to Eunhyuk’s suite, okay? the boys are doing a party there” Kyuhyun offered.
“are sure its okay?” she said, thinking that they’re still mad at her. Kyuhyun laughed and stood up, holding out his hand to her.
“Of course its okay. Come on” he laying his jacket in her wet shoulder for hold her from coldness before take her arm and dragged her towards his car.
Kyuhyun drove the rest of the way as casually as he could. Seohyun tell him everything, how much she felt guilty for her selfishness and how Yonghwa cheating on her. Kyuhyun on the other hand anger running down his veins, he vows to get revenge
“I can’t believe I ever thought that maybe he is the right for you. You will never worth to a jerk like him” Kyuhyun said hateful
Once they were up at Eunhyuk's suit, Seohyun can help but feel even more nervous. Kyuhyun lead her way and Seohyun followed him into the elevator and up to the Lee’s ninth-floor suite. The suit looked exactly the same as it always had: living room with entertainment center and bar; huge bedroom with king-sized bed and another entertainment center.
“Seohyun?” Eunhyuk approached her, once he saw Seohyun behind Kyuhyun
“it’s been a long time” he added and hug her a little bit too tightly. But she didn’t flinch. She’d spent a lot of time with Eunhyuk, and she was used to being hugged by him. That really Eunhyuk is
“it’s a boys’ party Kyu, why did you bring Seohyun with you?” Donghae said feigning unwelcomed. Seohyun just lowered her head, didn’t dare to look Donghae in the eyes. She understands Donghae is definitely still angry with her
“Just kidding. Welcome home Seo” Donghae come closer and hug her
“And why your body soaking wet anyway?” Changmin asked
“I forgot to bring umbrella with me” Seohyun answered
“Go change if you don’t want to catch a cold. There are clothes in my room, wear it. It’s Hyoyeon’s. she left them when she stayed here some time ago” Eunhyuk offered
“Okey”
“You know where my room is, don’t you?” he said jokingly
“of course I do”
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