Life Path
Guilty PleasureSummer is coming to an end, and Autumn has shown its fall. The vibrant colors of red, orange and yellow are slowly replacing the shade of life. All arises a sense of melancholy as we look at the bright colors of autumn like a last explosion of warmth before the arrival of the cold and the snow. It’s the city’s favorite season. The boys are out in the nearest park, playing ball or doing whatever boys do this time of year, getting all mussed up with bits of dried leaves on their sweaters and in their hair. It’s time to break out those credit cards and hit Bendel’s and SPAO for some cool new boots, y fishnet tights, little wool skirts, and delicious cashmere sweaters.
Unfortunately. This isn’t one wonderful week for some people in the city.
Some disguise. And very late evening, Yoona was seen leaning out her bedroom window, looking a little lost. So many thoughts and feelings are running through her human brain that her mind might explode. From Seohyun-who she thought would be her forever soulmate. With their, her immaturity, their friendship wasn’t picture perfect. There was jealousy anger and hurt along the way. till Kyuhyun-what Kyu‘s eyes looked like when he looked at Seohyun, like he never wanted to blink. He never looked at Yoona that way. And Kyuhyun seemed to be a totally different person since Seohyun came home.
“the only person in your life that’s telling you you’re not good enough is you. So start letting go and stop being so damn hard on your life”
She take a deep breath and recall Donghae’s words carefully. Yoona had always loved the way Donghae talked. The way he said things made her want to remember them. She smiled and her lips. “stop being so damn hard on your life” she repeated, the corners of curving up into a smile.
Thanks for today Hae, I feel better.
See you tomorrow
Yoona sent the message to her always-there-for-her boy friend. Say thanks to Donghae, Yoona now feels a lil bit better, which trust me, it doesn’t help anything.
For Yoona, Lee Donghae is the best friend type that knows her inside out and would go to the ends of the earth for her. He is truly her best friend. He’s always there for her. He knows everything about her; even her secrets. She can’t keep anything from him. He is the person who will help her when her down, turn her frown upside-down, and make her feel better about herself. Doesn’t mean Seohyun and Sooyoung aren’t. For sure Seohyun and Sooyoung are her best friends, her playmates, someone she can not throw away just like her Barbie dolls that she waste simply because she was tired playing with it. But for now, if she had to choose, without doubt she would choose Donghae.
And how utterly stupid she is now for not realizing, not knowing that all this time, since he first laid eyes on her at 2nd grade. He’d been falling in love with her.
Seohyun had come back to the city last month after decided to face her sin. At first, she’d been thrilled to be back in the city. But then she’d discovered that Im Yoona and maybe all her other old friends had decided not to have so much fun times with her anymore. Sure, she hadn’t really kept in touch with anyone, and sure, she’d maybe a little lonely now.
The hot, clammy steam wheezed out of the insulated paper cup, the sharp wind blowing through the trees is cool against the skin as Seo Joohyun walking down the street. Late Friday evening the Hongdae street were crawling with people. Tourists, mostly, and locals who had come for their break. Seohyun pull herself away and march along the street rich with lamplights. The street is enclosed by small street side shops.
Seohyun stayed where she was, glancing around the street and feeling completely out of place. Behind her, she heard a familiar voice called her name.
“Seohyun-ah” Seohyun turned around and she saw Donghae. Seohyun beaming sweetly up at him. Out of many people in the world, she was happy to meet Donghae-not Jessica, Kyuhyun, even Yoona, by chance.
“Donghae, hey” she replied his hello
“Where are you going?”
“Where are you going?”
“searching something to eat” she said, shrugged her shoulder
“you don’t mind if I tag along?” he asked “I’m hungry too”
“sure” Without thinking twice, she replied. At least she won’t be lonely tonight
“Let’s sit in the back,” Seohyun said as she led Donghae into her favorite place on Hongdae Street. The narrow, old-timey hamburger-and-ice cream parlor was crowded with parents treating their kids while the nanny took the night off. The air was punctuated with the shrill cries of sugared-up children, as tired waitresses hurried to and fro carrying huge glass bowls of ice cream, frozen hot chocolates, and extralong hot dogs.
“Me and Yoona used to come here like once a week and eat peppermint sundaes. We used to hang out for hours and just talk about nothing. This place is like our secret cave” she burbled exuberantly and picked up a menu and examined it. “It’s still all exactly the same. I love it” She added. The corners of curving up into a smile as she recalls her happy times with Yoona but the smile is soon vanish away. That was nearly two years ago, and Seohyun felt like it had happened to some other girl with an entirely different life.
She ordered the triple peppermint sundae with extra hot-fudge sauce, and Donghae ordered a coffee banana split. He would eat anything with coffee in it.
“Did you cuting classes today?” Donghae tried to start a conversation, when he saw Seohyun’s glum face
“What? no, that’s not my style”
“What? no, that’s not my style”
“it’s been a long time since you came to our brunch at school, where were you? we were expecting you to come” Donghae said
“oh… I just been so busy with school” she bite her lip the way she always do when she lie. Donghae know it and just raised his eyebrow
“okay, I… actually I have trouble hanging out with… everybody,” she confessed “so I decided to go home and take a nap” she continued and looked into Donghae’s understanding brown eyes.
“I know you’ve been avoiding us” Donghae said, crossing his arms impatiently. Seohyun just stay still, biting her fingernails to cover up her nervousness. She has picked up the habit of biting her fingernails, which makes us wonder about her even more.
“look, you have a right to shut down. Just, please, don’t push us away”
“it’s what I do, I push people away” she said sadly.
This was what Donghae amazed most about Seohyun. She had the ability to be sad and happy at the same time. She was like a lone angel, floating above the surface of the earth, laughing with delight because she could fly but crying out of loneliness. Seohyun turned everything ordinary into something extraordinary.
“that’s what I mean. You pushed people away enough already when you went to NYC. Now you’re home. We’re still here for you”
“I don’t know, I'm just afraid to everyone. I can’t having a long conversation with everyone without busy wondering what everyone think about me. And every time I saw Yoona dan Kyuhyun” She stared at Donghae with big, shining eyes. There were tears in them “Sometimes I wish …” Seohyun’s voice trailed off. She didn’t know exactly what she wished, but she was tired of feeling bad about Yoona and Kyuhyun.
“Sorry,” she sniffed, looking down at her shoes. “I hope I’m not bumming you out”
“you’re not”
“We’re not perfect. Any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up but then we forgive and we move forward”
“I hope we can hanging out and messing around like we used to. Especially you and Yoona”
On Saturday morning, Kyuhyun woke to the sound of his friends’ pissing voice.
“Cho Kyuhyun. Wake up!” Lee Donghae called out down the hall, hoping to unearth Kyuhyun from his bed
The door opened widely “wake up! the sun has risen and Everyone has been waiting for us” Eunhyuk said with pissing voice, jumped onto Kyuhyun’s bed and uncovering the blanket.
Kyuhyun didn’t really mind that his friends had woken his up, but he didn’t want his friends to think they could just barge into his room uninvited any time they felt like it.
“I’m not going to meet anyone” Kyuhyun sighed, pulling the comforter around him.
“when will you stop acting like a zombie?” Eunhyuk asked. No answer Kyuhyun just rolled over.
Donghae patted his foot. “what do you mean by anyone is Yoona dan Seohyun, right?”
“shut up!” Kyuhyun whined, fluffing up his pillow.
“you shut up!” Eunhyuk said mockingly “I know how you feel, you wanna be with Seohyun but on the other hand you don’t wanna let Yoona go. But live is , you have two choose. And I know you scared, cause failing to choose might lose both”
“torn between two women, I’ve been there, and trust me it’s killing you softly”
“but what can we do, it’s a curse for a lovers like us”
“Don’t you dare comparing me with you” Kyuhyun said pissed off
“You better start actin' like a grown man or I’m gonna bust a cap in your !” Donghae said, sounding more annoyed than he really felt.
“where are you dragging me?” Kyuhyun said, stamping his feet in a pile of dried autumn scattered along the banpo’s bycyle trails, a beautiful riverside park feature broad lawns and winding, wide open trails where the almighty Hangang river was located.
“it’s Saturday, man. We’re gonna have some fun” Eunhyuk prodded. Can’t do nothing Kyuhyun just tagged along with a frown painted all over his face.
Eunhyuk said eagerly “Even when it’s chilly outside, one of Seoul’s best activities is simply cruising the Hangang on a bicycle,” so they rented bycyles at a local bicycle rental kiosk. But guess what, become the most annoying boy in their old circle of friends like he always did Eunhyuk said minutes later “I can’t believe how windy it is today. We could catch a cold. Why don’t we just cruising the beauty of Hangang river with a walk” he stopped his bike
Donghae and Kyuhyun just rolled their eyes and get down from their bikes without spilled a single word.
“hey wait!” the boys saw a girl pedaling a pink vintage bicycle with a brown basket on it waved to them “Seohyun-ah” Eunhyuk smiled broadly and waved back at her
Eagerly, Seohyun pedaling her bicycle faster over them.
The boys can’t turn away so does Kyuhyun . her chocolate eyes sparkling. Her cheeks were flushed pink. Her long-wavy shiny chestnut-colored hair loose just touch her bare shoulder roaming through the windy air. she is wearing a simple yet elegant white summery off-the-shoulder top, a blue jeans and boots.
“wow, you’re so beautiful. I think i’m fall in love with you Seo” Eunhyuk said jokingly when Seohyun reach them, she just smiled at him
“so you come,” Donghae greet her “I thought you were not coming”
“why won’t I?” Seohyun shrugged her shoulder.
“catch me if you can. I’ll buy you a hotdog” Eunhyuk shouted all of sudden as he ride his bicycle and slid away. Donghae trailed behind.
“why do you have to desperately catch his up just for a hotdog when you can buy an extra long hotdog by yourself” Kyuhyun mumbling, raised his eyebrow
Seohyun tried hard not to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. Kyuhyun just looked so cute when he acted like this. She bit her notorious lips to hold back the giggles.
Kyuhyun glared at Seohyun “what?” he giggled. And once he started he couldn’t stop. Neither could Seohyun. It felt so good to laugh!
When they finally got control of themselves, Seohyun stop her tracks and looked at Kyuhyun “well, it’s good to meet you here. Kyu” Seohyun tucked her long, dark brown hair behind her ears and smiled at him.
And they walked side by side that led them into a deep conversation.
“I was so bad, wasn’t I?” Seohyun asked
“What do you mean? What did you do that was so bad?” Kyuhyun asked, with a mixture of dread and anticipation.
“and I‘ve been such a horrible friend, too” Seohyun went on “I‘ve barely even talked to Yoona since I left. And so much has happened. And now without even telling her that I was going back home I jumped into her life again. I can already tell she‘s mad”
“She‘s not mad” Kyuhyun said. “Maybe she‘s just feeling shy”
Seohyun flashed him a look.
“Well, she‘s not mad, trust me” Kyuhyun insisted.
“I’d known Yoona since we were born. But now we grow apart and I don’t know her anymore. It’s such a shame that we play stranger”
Seohyun couldn’t pretend she was entirely blameless. She knew what had upset Yoona most. It wasn’t just that Seohyun had been out of touch with her old Seoul crowd or that she’d been off partying in NYC-at least that’s what everybody think, while Yoona’s had a lame year in Seoul. What had really turned their friendship sour was the fact that Seohyun and Kyuhyun had slept together the summer before Seohyun went away to boarding school. Although Yoona didn’t know about the little secret yet, she knows that Yoona know something happened between Seohyun and Kyuhyun. The guilt was written clearly all over Kyuhyun’s face. He wasn’t so expert in covering something tho.
“I wish I could start all over again. With Yoona, with you, with everyone and everything that happened,” Seohyun told him wistfully, “We‘ll do all the things we used to do. Yoona, Sooyoung and I will cut class and meet you at the usual café, and then we‘ll run down to Eunhyuk’s suite see some weirdo film until we passed out. And you and Yoona will stay together forever and I‘ll be the maid of honor at your wedding. And we‘ll be happy ever after, just like in the movies”
Kyuhyun frowned
“Don‘t make that face, Kyu,” Seohyun said, laughing. “That doesn‘t sound so bad, does it?”
Kyuhyun shrugged. “No, I guess it sounds okay” he said, although he clearly didn‘t believe it.
“so, do me a favor!” Seohyun prodded.
“You are the best friend I've ever had so please never ever break our friendship” she said hopefully
“and Yoona loves you, she really really do love you, and so do you, I know that. So please, don’t break her heart. I beg you”
Kyuhyun searched the deep wells of her eyes. Trying to gauge whether she said that because she wants Kyuhyun to forget their magical history of last summer, bring it all back like it supposed to be or did all this time she just see it as one of those crazy things that happened between friends, just a one-off. it if it’s true.
“I won’t pretend and take what we had last summer was never happened. Because honestly, I can’t and I couldn’t” ‘cause what we had was real “but you need to know what we did was wrong”
“You and Yoona are so kind, the perfect couple I’ve ever seen. You are fully intended to spend the rest of their lives together. That's the way things are supposed to be. So let’s finish what we’ve started and start all over.”
I just wish we had met in some other way, so we could have avoided all this mess.
And no need to end anything
Summer is coming to an end, Autumn has shown its fall and the enchanted silver of snow will come sooner or later. What a perfect timing to bury all the old history and build a new history. What’s old is new again, but some things are just forever.
“There they are” Eunhyuk boomed loudly when he saw Kyuhyun and Seohyun at their place, a simple barbeque party around Hangang's river park specially arranged by the pink enthusiast, Tiffany. assisted by her willing-to-do-anything-just-for-you boyfriend, Siwon. Tiffany was famous for her pink tea parties and bbq parties, and this was her first since last summer since everybody was busy with their own business.
That was a fine day for a brunch. The sun was shining and the birds were singing and Hangang river is a perfect spot for spread your picnic rugs under the shady trees with your long time best friends.
All of Seohyun’s old circle of friends was there.
“Seo Joohyun! Hello! Hello!” Tiffany crowed, kissing the smooth cheeks of Seohyun
“good to see you Seo” Jessica said smiling sweetly
The girls took turns welcoming Seohyun with their brightest smile. some of them were mean it and some of them just being a fake es. She was the girl everyone remembered. The one everyone loved to hate. She didn’t have to try to shine: she shined brighter than the rest of them already.
Yoona leaning at a leafy tree and just eyeing Seohyun whom being the lamplight. Being a total , she’s jealous of course, but deep inside she knew Seohyun worth it. she’s just being so damn hard on her life.
Everybody shine on their own way, stop wishing you were someone else
God dwells within you, as you you don’t have to change and be more like someone else to be okay. You are perfect just as you are. You are beautiful just as you are.
So Yoona took a deep breathe, putting her best sincere smile and
“Hey…” Yoona said warily as she removing a stray strand of hair from Seohyun‘s bare shoulder, “I miss you” and held Seohyun close, a warm hug that Seohyun longed for. Happily, Seohyun just accept her arms.
So Yoona decided to resume the friendship? I mean, how long you can stay angry with someone who always there for you particularly like forever?
Yoona may not be as tall or too porcelain-white or has a perfect curves body or too “experienced” as Seohyun, but that does not mean that you must hate it. Seohyun never be so dishonest or so sarcastic as Yoona, but that does not mean that you have to be afraid of it. So the two decided to leave the differences aside and be nice to each other, at least for now.
“enough with the chit chat” Tiffany beaming excitedly “let’s eat”
“hey Seo” Sooyoung chimed in. she patted the empty spot next to her. “come, sit”. Seohyun hurriedly did as Sooyoung was told. Yoona was about following Seohyun, ignoring her boyfriend Kyuhyun who was standing before her waiting to get a single chance to talk to her. But before she could go any further Kyuhyun pulled her hand. A strong tender grip she longed for
“Wait!” Kyuhyun hold her back, who was staring at him now. She was obviously more
than a little disappointed about what had happened. Kyuhyun locked his eyes and was surprised to find himself immediately . Maybe it was the sun which makes Yoona’s long brunette hair gleamed in the sunlight or her black turtleneck that fits her body perfectly. He closed his eyes for a second and opened them again. No, Yoona really did look that good.
Yoona tried to shove Kyuhyun’s hand away from hers, playing hard to get. but Kyuhyun won’t let it go easily. He couldn’t let a whole week go by with Yoona mad at her for shutting her down a whole week and his worrying about her being mad at her. he had to do something.
“come on, Yoong. I’m sorry, okay? can we please talk?” Kyuhyun stuttered uncomfortably. Why did she had to talk to Kyuhyun when in fact, Kyuhyun hadn’t tried to see her or texted her since last Friday?
“fine” she said sharply. And slid her hand away, led Kyuhyun to a quieter place.
She’d spent her entire week feeling pissed off. She’d gone to bed pissed off, and then she’d woken up pissed off. In fact, it looked like she was going to spend the rest of her life permanently pissed off because of Kyuhyun. She swear she won’t forgive him easily.
“I‘m sorry, Yoong. I really am,” Kyuhyun began. “So many thoughts are running through my mind this past week. I lost control of myself, I wasn’t me” he said, grasping for the right words. “and I figured out it's better not to meet you. I don’t wanna hurt you with my stupid act” Nice one.
Yoona swallowed. He‘d said it just right, exactly the way she‘d written it in the script in her head.
She put her arms around Kyuhyun‘s neck and let him hold her.Kyuhyun pushed her away and looked down into her eyes. “So we are okay now?” he said.
Yoona gazed up into Kyuhyun‘s gorgeous dark eyes, those loving look through those big brown eyes that has the same effect to melted her heart. She nodded yes.
“but only if you promise to tell me if you have any problems, and we will solve the problem together. And we will be okay” she sniffled.
Kyuhyun wound a strand of Yoona‘s hair around his finger and breathed in the scent of her perfume. It felt okay, standing there, holding her. It felt like something he could do. For now, and maybe forever. He didn‘t need Seohyun. Definitely, maybe.
Kyuhyun leaned in and took a deep breath. Yoona closed her eyes as their lips met. The feelings she had, she never did expect. her lips went warm and her body felt tingly. Yoona’s heartbeat rose as they went apart.
“Come on,” she said, pulling away and wiping the tears smudges from under her eyes “let’s go see what Fany had prepared” Holding hands, they went to the other. Seo Joohyun smiled when Kyuhyun and Yoona walked past her on the way to their rugs.
Kyuhyun take a quick glance at Seohyun before he locked his eyes at Yoona. and he won’t waver in his commitment. never . he didin’t want to lost them both, simply because he wasn’t willing to make the tough choice that he had to make.
All along the way, we’re guessing and hoping, no matter how much thinking and reasoning we bring to bear on our choices. We frequently end up with regrets that we carry to our graves.
But life doesn’t come with convenient signposts letting us know which is the path to happiness and which is the path to misery, so we’re stuck taking blind gambles. Sometimes we choose well. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we have chances to change mistaken choices we’ve made.
Sometimes we don’t.
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