[unedited]

 

Kevin stared outside of the navy blue Chevy window as the hospital building grew smaller and smaller in the side view mirror until it disappeared entirely and the roads they passed took its place. He drew out his phone from his sweatshirt pocket before remembering that it probably laid crushed underneath the passenger seat of AJ’s car somewhere near the police station for investigation and pulled his hand from his pocket empty handed. Dongho notices this from the driver’s seat as he passes an intersection and clears his throat somewhat at a failed act of nonchalantness.

 

“I’m sorry about your phone Hyung, we can get you a new one after the paperwork at the police station is settled. I can… um.. pick you up tomorrow for breakfast then and then we can go to the mall!” Dongho glances at Kevin for reassurance but got none when Kevin looked away.

 

“Soohyun said he’ll take me out tomorrow morning for breakfast before going back to the hospital to pick up my medication.

”

“Oh, okay… then how about lunch?” Kevin doesn’t reply so Dongho keeps going, “Now that I’ve got my license and Omma isn’t such a pain in the about letting me drive I want to take you out anywhere you want to go!” He glances once more at Kevin whose response is nonetheless the same as before, “ Don’t worry, my treat!”

 

After a good minute of silence Dongho decided it’s best for him to stay quiet and wait for his hyung to speak to him first instead of pestering him into talking. He remembered clearly how it felt to be forced to talk after a traumatic experience like that of the court session of Kevin’s case so many years ago and he didn’t want to pressure his hyung when he knew exactly how stressful it is to recall such a horrific experience.

 

Turning on the radio volume louder Dongho began to hum along to the tunes and sang along occasionally to the lyrics that he knew. Kevin on the other hand remained silent throughout the whole ride and never once took his eyes off the window as he looked distantly outside as the passing buildings and people.

 

It was a beautiful day, a peaceful one that is calm and relaxing but time after time beautiful days has taught Kevin only one thing: bad things happen on even beautiful days.

 

 

“Eli.”

 

“Let’s break up.”

 

It was a beautiful day, sun was shining, the temperature outside hot but not too hot with just the right amount of cooling breeze passing by and children were playing in the playground outside of the hospital, people were smiling, babies were born and people with cancer were survivors. It was a beautiful day. But bad things happen on beautiful days too.

 

Kevin’s mind completely shutted down at those three words that was spoken calmly through Eli’s lips. It flowed effortlessly off his tongue as if the sentence itself was merely an extension of his body and soul that he willingly exposed with grace and has thought about countless times before. For that moment Kevin wished nothing more but to be back in that car wreck with a pole stuck in his gut because anything is better than what was happening now.

 

“Wha--”

 

“This is your room right?” Eli turned his neck slightly to look at Kevin from the corner of his eyes.

 

“Yes.”

 

For a moment both were quiet as Kevin’s answer seemed to echo off the empty hallway until finally Eli lowered Kevin down softly off his back and in front of his room.

 

“Let’s break up.” Eli says softly but tonelessly as his smooths down his shirt that got crinkled from carrying Kevin through half of the hospital wing.

 

“Eli..” Kevin’s voice is filled with disbelief at Eli’s tone and to his fear he almost cried right then a there. His hand lingered near Eli’s as he so desperately wanted to grab it into his and squeeze it tightly to make sure that he won’t crumble into pieces on the floor. Silence passes by as neither spoke until finally Eli sighed wearily and looks at Kevin with an exhausted smile.

 

“I mean I have to go now, you should go inside.” Kevin hesitantly smiles back and returns a small nod to him.

 

“I’ll see you later.” with that Eli gave one last smile to Kevin, one that he notices doesn’t quite reach his eyes and waves goodbye.

 

Kevin enters his room with the same smile that he gave Eli and it lingered on his lips until he turned around and saw that he wasn’t alone in his room.       

 

“We’re here.”

 

Kevin quickly woke up at the cut of the car engine as Dongho pulled the key out of the ignition and closed the door with a rough shake of the car after getting out. He proceeded to take out what little luggage Kevin had from the hospital as Kevin himself slowly got out of the car.

 

“Here let me help.”

 

“No, no, no, not over my dead body!” Dongho froze and stared into his hyung’s eyes. “I didn’t mean that.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“No! I’m sorry Hyung I didn’t mean that at all.” the younger frantically said.  

 

“I know Donghong. Here just let me help.” Kevin tried to reach for the bag but the young boy pulled away quickly.

 

“It’s okay I got it.” Dongho said as he ran inside of the apartment.

 

Sighing, Kevin followed him into his apartment, he was too tired to argue back. Once they reached his door Kevin held out his hand to stop Dongho from moving any further when he held out the key trying to open the door.

 

“I can take it from here Dongho, thank you for driving me.”

 

Dongho wore a creased eyebrow of worry as he promptly said to his hyung, “I can’t let you unpack by yourself hyung, plus you haven’t eaten dinner yet.”

 

“I’ll order something.”

 

“That’s too unhealthy for a sick person.”

 

“I’m not sick.”

 

“Okay, that’s too unhealthy for an injured person. I’ll cook you something.”

 

“You can’t cook.”

 

Dongho sighed and looked pleadingly/frustrated at his hyung. “I know how to cook eggs Hyung. Please.”

 

Kevin felt bad for turning down the boy but all he really wanted to do now was be alone and sleep so he refused him yet again.

 

“No. Don’t you have to go home, Tiffany must be waiting for you.”

 

“That’s the problem!” Dongho threw up his arms dramatically, “she won’t let me go home until I’m done caring for you AND that includes feeding, bathing, and taking you to bed. Hyung please, my mom is crazy you know that.” Kevin smiled at that, “she’ll kill me if she finds out I left you home alone.”

 

Kevin’s chest tightened. “Home alone?”

 

“Oh you didn’t know… I thought he would of told you, I mean I saw you guys at the door of your room so I just assumed…” Dongho looked away to avoid Kevin’s eyes.

 

“What do you mean?” Kevin tried to catch Dongho’s eyes but he kept facing his away from him so his eyes fell past his head to the window behind him at the beautiful day outside. It was a beautiful day.

 

“Eli Hyung moved out the apartment.”

 

“Thank you for the meal Dongho.” Kevin said smiling as he leaned against the door frame of his bedroom as the younger finished cleaning the dishes and dried his hands with a kitchen towel.

 

“No problem Hyung, just don’t tell my Omma that I fed you take out today okay?” Dongho smiled.

 

Kevin held a finger to his lips and winked, “It’s our little secret. Do you want me to walk you out?”

 

“No it’s alright I’ll just lock the door when I leave with the spare key. Good night Hyung!”

 

“Night.” Kevin waited for Dongho to leave the apartment and a few minutes after that to make sure he’s left the parking lot down stairs before falling down onto the floor on his knees. His breathing rapidly increased as he tried not to panic about the being alone in the apartment tonight and the other nights after because there’s no one left to wait for to come home any longer. Eli left him.

 

Kevin rinsed his mouth once more before spitting into the sink from brushing his teeth and walked back into his room to pick out a casual outfit for that morning’s breakfast outing with Soohyun. The older called him twice since he’s woken up at 12PM to make sure he was ready by 12:30PM to pick him up.

 

Pulling a cool gray sweatshirt that is similar to the one he wore yesterday Kevin pulled it over his torso to match his just as gray sweatpants. He neither cared that he looked like he was in a track suit ready to go on a run or that he looked pretty bumish by his standards because the fact remained that Kevin wanted to dress the way he felt which is absolutely gray.

 

At 12:30PM exactly Kevin answered the door to Soohyun standing sheeply at his apartment with a sling over his right arm.

 

“Did you get dressed yet?” the older asked taking a look at Kevin’s outfit.

 

“Yes.”

 

Soohyun swallowed in an awkward grimse but smiled happily at the younger. “Well let’s go then.”

 

The cab ride to the cafe was quiet yet comforting to Kevin as he laid his head on the window and let the motion of the car lightly tap his forehead onto the glass with every slight bump of the road. When they approached a red light and the car slowed down to a stop Soohyun shuffled next to Kevin to face him despite the discomfort of his injured arm. Before looking at him Kevin glanced at the arm sling first and wondered if it had anything to do with the bloody hand Soohyun had when he first woke up in the hospital a few days ago after the car accident.

 

“So I took the liberty of picking up your medication for you at the hospital since I figured if you’re going to sleep until the next century somebody here has to be the responsible one.” the older teasingly smiles, “and you’re been excused from school for a few months to recover and heal. But hey you’ll be up and about by tomorrow right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Taken back by the bland reply Soohyun frowns. “You’re grumpy when you’re hungry you know that. I should've picked up a snickers bar for you instead of your medication apparently.”

 

The two arrived at the small cafe a few blocks from Kevin’s apartment a little after half past noon. Although Kevin hadn’t gain much of an appetite since he’s been discharged from the hospital as soon as they were seated at a booth with Soohyun sitting across from him he suddenly felt famished and ordered twice as much as he usually would when the waiter came to take their orders.

 

“On second thought maybe I should of gotten you a cow instead, what did they do to you during your hospital say huh Kevin, starve you?” Soohyun teased as he pulled out a napkin from the dispenser and started to fold a paper crane from it though it looked uncomfortable with his single functional hand. Kevin noticed this as he watched the older try to fold the corner with one hand.

 

“What happened to your hand?”

 

“This?” Soohyun waved his injured hand in the air. “I just sprained it pretty badly, the knuckles is bruised and dried with blood but besides that I’m fine. Why? Is my little dongsae worried about me?”

 

“No. I was just wondering what stupid thing you did to get your hand injured like that.” Kevin couldn't’ hide the small smile he had on his face when he said that as he pulled out his own napkin and began making a hat out of it seeing as that’s the only thing he knew how to fold.

 

“For your information your HYUNG didn’t do anything special, unless you count punching someone in the face stupid then yeah it was.” Soohyun finally gave up on the crane and crumbled the napkin up. “I didn’t expect his face to be that damn hard.”

 

“Who did you punch?”

 

“No one.” Soohyun could feel the questioning glare of Kevin on him so he sighed and threw his napkin aside. “Okay fine it was Mr. Kim.”

 

“Mr.Kim?! As in Eli’s dad?” Kevin asked in disbelief, the last time he’s ever heard of Eli’s dad was after the divorce and that was nearly 5 years ago.

 

“No it was Mr.Kim the trash guy, yes it was Mr.Kim Eli’s dad! Who else would I be talking about?”

“I don’t know. Why did you punch him?” The waiter had came back with their order, Kevin got a double cheeseburger with onion rings, french fries, pickles and a shake while Eli got a triple bacon cheese hot dog with a coke. They started to make room for the dishes by pushing aside their multiple failed crumbled attempts of origami aside and moving the condiments to the end of the table.

 

“He was being an of course, as always. God I can’t believe his helped in the creation of our Eli, the thought disgusts me that that man had the nerve to call Eli his son and himself a father.” Soohyun said through a mouthful of bacon hot dog which he began to eat as soon as the dish was sent in front of him. “You weren’t even awake yet and he wanted to come in to question you about AJ!!” Soohyun quickly wiped his mouth and took a big gulp of coke after.

 

“What did he want with AJ?” Kevin asked, his lips tight at the remembrance of the car accident not so long ago.

“Apparently he’s not even suppose to be in the country. He’s not issued.”

 

“You mean he’s illegal?” Kevin asked perplexed, this news was all new to him.

 

“In a sense I guess he is. But that’s not the weird part of this, what’s weird is why he came back to Korea knowing that he’s not issued and the consequences of getting caught. Mr.Kim wanted to question you about it seeing as you were with him recen--” Soohyun suddently stopped what he was saying and paused, his hot dog slowly slidding out of it’s bun. He looked up at Kevin and gulped with a creased brow expression of a person who’s been caught gossiping about someone behind their back.

 

“I’m sorry we shouldn’t even be talking about this. You must be tired let’s quickly eat so I can take you back to rest.”

 

“But I’m fine Soohy--”

 

“So Tiffany and Dongho is going to have dinner with you tonight at your place so they’ll call you before they come--”

 

“Soohyun what’s this about AJ not being issued?”

 

“then maybe I’ll have time to eat with you guys if I don’t stay after for work--”

 

“You said Eli’s dad wanted to question me about somethin--”

 

“Check please!”

 

    

 

The next morning and the ones after that became a rerun of the previous day and with just as much of the conversation too, so far Kevin is still at lost with the current situation of everything and no one seemed to be filling him in on it any time soon. For the next couple of weeks his only company came from brunch with Soohyun, dinner with Dongho and occasionally Tiffany. Eli never showed up once since their departure at Kevin’s room at the hospital weeks before. Kevin still half expects and hopes to come home to find him lounging around in the living room doing homework or napping in their bedroom but the same disappointment came every time he opened the front door to an apartment of emptiness and loneliness.

 

“Where are you taking me?” Kevin questioned.

 

At first Soohyun didn’t answer him but after getting a few miles away from Kevin’s apartment he clears his throat awkwardly which Kevin now takes as a sign of compensation.

 

“It’s almost half past noon you should take your medication. Three times a day after each meal correct?”

 

“Yes, but can you tell me where we’re going?”

 

“Yes and no. But mostly no. Can you just take your pills?” Soohyun’s hands clutched tighter to the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

 

“Why can’t you tell me where we’re going?” Kevin’s voiced softened and he leaned in closer to Soohyun. “You’re not going to kidnap me and kill me out in the middle of no where are you?”

 

“What?” Soohyun sounded startled.

 

“That’s what all the killers do, murder their victims in deserted areas like an old construction sight.”

 

“I think you’ve been watching too many movies.”

 

“Not much to do when you’re home alone.” the word “alone” hung in the air as thick as fog for a silence that lasted no less than a minute but longer than forever until Kevin took out his medication and a bottle of water from his bag.

 

“Okay, okay. See, done.” he stuck out his tongue to show Soohyun.

 

“Good.” they drove the rest of the way in silence that has now become more comforting to Kevin than the presence of another person. It was nice but at that moment it felt more like he was walking on eggshells at that point.

 

A few minutes taking his medication Kevin started to feel drowsy and keeping his eyes open became more of a confliction battle with himself. Knocking his head gently on the window from the bumpiness of the road Kevin forfeited his struggle to stay away and finally closed his eyes.

 

When he opened them again he was no longer in the car with Soohyun but underneath a tree in the early season of spring with the blossoms of the trees growing above him. Sitting up with his elbows propping him up Kevin looked around him. There was a swing set a couple of yards away from him and the road looked deserted besides from a few people passing by occasionally. He was about to ask out loud if anyone was there when a hand laid on top of his softly.

 

“Don’t be scared.”

 

Kevin looked next to him and saw Kiseop laying down next to him on the grass, a hand that wasn’t covering his own laid over his eyes to block out the sun. He was in his school uniform with the first two buttons opened revealing a peak of skin. Looking closer Kevin sees that he doesn’t have a scar on his right arm, the one that he got from a broken glass accident a little after Kevin moved away to college.

 

Oh… this is a dream?

 

“I’m not scared.” he heard his own voice spoke, felt the vibration of his throat say the words but yet at the same time he didn’t say it himself. It was his younger self, the high school Kevin who spoke while he watched from his eyes what happened years ago. It was as if he was watching movie of himself through himself.

 

Kiseop peeked from underneath his hand and smiled at Kevin with a grin, squeezing his hand. “I won’t let you get hurt anymore Kevin. I’ll never let you get hurt like that ever again.”

 

Kevin sits up straighter and crosses his leg, his hand that Kiseop held never leaving it’s position as he nudged the grass from the dirt ground. His gaze fell on Kiseop again and he squeezed his hand back.

 

“I won’t do it again. I promise.” seeing the unsatisfied look at the other boy’s face Kevin added on, “I told AJ Hyung I’ll stop doing those things with him. I won’t get hurt again.”

 

Kiseop didn’t peek from beneath his hand this time, he kept it shielding his eyes from the sun as he spoke.

“Right, because I will always protect you.”

 

Kevin smiles and lays back down next to him, closes his eyes. When he opened them again he was back inside of the car with Soohyun. The sun was setting out over the trees just like it did that day in his dream.    

 

“You took me here?” Kevin had one hand over his eyes as if he was peering out into the distance with the sun shining brightly in his eyes when really the sun was just starting to set over the trees. A pair of boots came next to him shortly after he got out of the car.

 

Soohyun turned the key out of the ignition and listened for the engine to die out before walking to Kevin. “Home sweet home right?”

 

“More like bitter.” Kevin could feel Soohyun’s stare on his neck but he kept his eyes averted and faced the building in front of them both. It was run down and the grass grew wildly around the field but the sign posted above the entrance door had been replaced with a newer sign that’s red bold letters read “High School Dorm D3”.

 

Kevin took a deep breath before walking towards it with Soohyun following. When they reached the double doors Kevin paused with his hand on the handle, Soohyung laid his hand gently on top of his and gave him a reassuring smile. They both pushed open the door together and released 5 years of repressed memory out as they entered the building.

 

“It really hasn’t changed,” Kevin turns to his hyung, “has it?”

 

“No, it really hasn’t.”

 

They walked through the dorm together, passing the living room and lounge area, up the stairs to the first floor where the bath and changing rooms were until they reached the 4th four and Kevin stopped in his tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Soohyun asked.

 

Kevin shakes his head slowly, his hands dangling next to his side. “I know you didnt’ bring me here just to visit memory lane.”

 

The carpet of the floor had been changed from the navy blue that Kevin was so familiar with to a deep royal red color that reminded me of blood. Fixing his eyes on the carpet alone he was able to calm his voice enough to steady his voice as he spoke.

 

“You want something. There’s something you want to know and it has to come from me. I understand that. But…” looking closer at the carpet Kevin notices that the floor wasn’t completely red but actually had strains of other warm colors such as yellow and orange to the mix. “I can’t tell you what you want to hear.” Kevin lifts his eyes off the ground and up at Soohyun.

 

“And why not?”

 

Kevin leans further on the tips of his toes and the floor squeaks at the movement. “Because it wouldn’t be true. You want me to tell you that AJ is the one who caused the car accident, you want me to tell you that he’s the monster who me.” Kevin leaned back on his heels and the floor squeaks once more. “And you want me to tell you that Kiseop has something to do with it. Is that correct?”

 

Soohyun holds Kevin’s gaze. “Is it true?”

 

“No.” Kevin looks away and back to the floor.

 

“Then what is?”

 

I will always protect you.

 

Kevin doesn’t remember how long he stood there staring down at the blood colored carpet and he doesn’t remember when he finally looked back at Soohyun. He vaguely remembers what he said to him but he doesn’t remember exactly what he said. all Kevin remembered from that day is the relief he felt after he said it.

 

“AJ isn’t the criminal… he’s the victim.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

4 things I know to be true:

1) I am addicted to the abc family show The Fosters

2) I am about to overdose on EXO's new album and my favorite song from there, Beautiful 

3) I don't look as hot in nursing scrubs as I thought I would sadly 

4) I love my subscribers very much!!! Thank you so mcuh for all of those who has supported me even through this long absent. I truely hope this chapter is well waited for and oh gee sorry for leaving you guys on yet another cliff hanger but it's 3AM here and I thought I shall just leave things off here muahaha >:D

 

I hope those who are on spring break are having a lovely time off school and on vacation somewhere warm and beautiful. As always thank you for viewing and if you likey please subscribe ~~

 

P.S - I apologize if the narrative is kind of awkard, it's been a long time since I've picked up this story again and I guess you could say I'm out of pratice (>_<) Don't worry I'm working on it!!