CHAPTER 21

Jinri couldn’t fathom what was happening to Yunho in the past few days. He has been mostly distracted and rarely went home. She was already having suspicions but just thinking of the possibilities was already breaking her heart. 

When she entered the living room with a tray of snacks for him, she found him staring at the television but was not exactly watching it. His face, it seemed older than usual. It was as if he was carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.

“Yunho.” She said.

He moved a little to make space for her on the sofa. When she settled beside him, she was able to see closely the gloom in his eyes.

“Is there anything wrong? You seem off lately.” She said worriedly.

Yunho shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just…tired.” He said, trying to cheer up his tone.

But Jinri cannot be fooled. She was sure there was something wrong. She wouldn’t just give up the subject.

“Come on, Yunnie. You can always tell me what’s bothering you. You know that, right?”

“I know. But the thing is there’s nothing in particular that’s bothering me. I’m just tired because of work. That’s all.”

Jinri eyed her with suspicion but just let it pass. She thought that maybe he wasn’t ready to tell her yet. “Okay. I’m just here if you need someone to talk to.”

He slid his arm around her waist and looked at her intently. “How have you been lately?” he asked.

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulders. “I’m fine now because you’re here.”

Her smile broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine the pain he might cause her once she learns about the truth. Truly, he loves Yuri but his feelings for Jinri were also pure. She was the one who stuck with him through thick and thin. All through the years that they were together, she patiently listened to his complains about life, she made efforts to make him smile in desperate times and most importantly, she helped him move on from the miserable life he had when he thought that Yuri was dead.

What kind of prank is this? He thought.

***

“Hyung, this is ing ridiculous. ING RIDICULOUS.” Changmin exclaimed with such a displeased tone that scared his hyungs.

“Shim Changmin. Calm down.” Yoochun said as he dragged the maknae back to his seat.

Yunho finally told them the truth. They were shocked but also glad. However, just like Yunho they were also confused as to how they will solve the complicated situation their best friend was in. Jaejoong told him to just go straightforward and tell Jinri. Yoochun agreed. Junsu was reluctant about the former’s idea and suggested that maybe he should think about it carefully. Changmin, whom Yunho expected to give a useful advice, was the one who couldn’t contain his surprise and kept freaking out every single second.

“Aish! How can you do this, hyung?!” he shouted.

Yunho sighed. “I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t know she was alive until three weeks ago.”

“And you’re making Jinri believe that everything between you two is fine. I’ve expected so much from you, Jung Yunho.”

“Yah! I’m asking for help not for nagging. I’ve also expected so much from you, Shim Changmin.”

The maknae ignored his remark and sipped on his milkshake. Yunho rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, hoping that everything would just end on its own.

Yoochun cleared his throat. “I suggest you tell their parents first. Then we’ll just see what happens from there.”

“Considering Jinri, I don’t think it’s a good idea. It might as well come out of Yunho’s mouth.” Jaejoong said. “What do you think, Changmin?”

Changmin let out a long exasperated sigh. “Before I answer that, I want to ask you something, Hyung.”

“What is it?”

“Are you planning to get back together with Yuri?”

“Yes.”

His answer didn’t come as a shock to them anymore. They knew the moment he told them that Yuri was alive that he would go back to her. There was no doubt that as much as he loved Jinri, the way he felt about Yuri will never be outlasted by anyone.

“Then, tell Jinri. Make a clean break. I’m not exactly sure if she would be able to let you go that easily. She will be hurt badly and may hate you forever. That’s a fact you have to accept if you’re willing to push through with this. Nonetheless, man up and face your demons.”

Yunho knew Changmin was right. There was no way to solve the problem but to tell Jinri everything. He didn’t want to be unfair to her anymore. Leaving her was unfair but letting her believe something that didn’t exist anymore is so much worse.

***

“You’re home.” Jinri said as she got up from bed.

Yunho smiled weakly. “You have a few minutes to spare?” he asked.

“Of course.” She said and followed him to the living room.

When she saw how grim his face was, she knew there was something wrong. And when he finally looked at her with such sad eyes, her heart started to beat faster.

“What’s wrong?”

Yunho sighed and closed his eyes, unable to hide his stress and frustration. He looked at Jinri and tears started to run down his cheeks.

The scene brought shivers down Jinri’s spine. She was confused. She wiped his tears and cupped his face.

“What’s happening, Yunho?”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry….”

“Why are you saying sorry?”

“There’s something you have to know.”

Jinri didn’t like where their conversation was going but she had no choice but to hear what Yunho had to say.

For the nth time, Yunho sighed. “Yuri is alive.”

Right then and there, it was like Jinri’s world stopped from turning. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. Her sister was alive. Yunho’s wife was alive. And where would that put her in her man’s life? Nowhere.

She didn’t cry. The pain she was feeling was too overwhelming that crying was not enough to justify it. It was like all the life in her was taken away. She couldn’t even move and just stared at the floor. She was lost. If it was a dream, she hoped someone would wake her up.

“Jinri…”

She didn’t answer.

“Jinri…”

“Are you going back to her?”

“Yes…”

She knew it. He would certainly go back to her. Yuri was his first love. His one and only love. And she was just a replacement.

Yunho held her hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you ever love me?”

“Yes, I did. With all my heart.”

“Then why are you leaving me now?”

Yunho bowed his head and couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Because….” He didn’t finish his sentence and silently sobbed.

“Because you never stopped loving Yuri. Because all along, you were able to love me because I look like her. Being in a relationship with me is like having her again, right? Yes. That’s it.”

“No, that’s not—“

Jinri whisked his hand and stood up. “Leave.” She said.

“But—“

“I said leave.”

He didn’t argue with her anymore and did what she said. But before he stepped out of the door, he looked back at her.

“I loved you for who you are, not because you looked like Yuri. You were there during those difficult times. And I will always be thankful for that. You are a great person and you will always be a part of me. I hope that one day, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” he said.

She stared at him as he slowly disappeared from her sight and that’s when she cried. He was literally her world, her source of strength and happiness. He made her believe that she can do everything because she had him. He made her unstoppable. He made her feel loved. He was the one who made up for the years of pain and longing for a family. And now, he was gone. Her Jung Yunho was gone.

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Hello, awesome people!

Haven't updated in a while. I'm really sorry. How are you doing? 

I hope you liked the chapter. I pity Jinri though. Her love for Yunho is genuine. :(

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