I woke up today feeling tired. Ever since I’ve been working, the late night shifts at the store. I have been sleeping less and less.  I guess I shouldn’t be complaining since I need the money to pay rent but still I couldn’t help myself.

I looked at the picture frame beside me and I began to wonder at how life could’ve been if my parents never had left.

I still remember the last thing they said to me before they died.

"Jiyeon-ah please be happy"

 I started shedding tears...

Mom…

Dad…

Why?

Why leave me in this hateful world?

Was I not being a good enough daughter to deserve all this? Why do I need to be punished this way?

I knew I couldn’t blame them, since it wasn’t their fault, It was mine. But even so, I miss them so much. I miss them so much that it hurts even to breathe.

I wiped my tears away knowing that even when I cry, they can’t come and comfort me and tell me that everything’s going to be alright.

I stood up to get ready for yet another day of school.

I didn’t really care about school or anybody for a matter of fact. It all seemed like a waste of time to me. I didn’t bother to make friends, since I was always afraid that they would get up and leave too.

I got my bag and started walking out the door since I was already running late for school.  As soon as I got there everybody was already in their seats busy chitchatting.

I walked towards my seat ignoring everyone’s presence and soon after that; the teacher came inside to start the class.

I didn’t really listen to anything she was saying. I just kept on staring at a blank page in my notebook. I wanted school to be over and done with.

When suddenly, the door opened and a boy walked in. He had black hair, black eyes an untucked shirt and it seemed like he also didn’t sleep much at all, seeing the dark circles under his eyes.

But still he was smiling…

I didn’t know why but his smile, it irritated me.

"And where have you been Kim Myungsoo" ?The teacher asked.

"Sorry Sir, I overslept"

"Just don’t let it happen again"

He then quickly took the seat behind me, while the teacher continued his lesson.

Soon it was lunchtime.

I didn’t have money to buy food so I just stayed in my seat and started reading my book. I didn’t really like reading but at that moment it was the only thing that would take my mind off the fact that I was hungry.

I heard whispers in the classroom, saying things like:

"Why does she even bother coming to school"? "And have you seen her shoes"? "Doesn’t she have money to buy new ones"? "I mean look at her"…

"She’s hideous"…"just plain hideous"…

My eyes started to water. I knew they were talking about me and it hurt.

I started looking at my shoes. They were indeed worn out they even had holes in them. But they were the only pair I had and I couldn’t afford to buy new ones.

I then stood up from my seat and started walking out the door. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

When I reached the door, I bumped into someone.

Him, it was him again with that same old smile that I’ve always hated.

Myungsoo…

"Sorry", he said.

I didn’t even bother to listen nor apologize and I just continued walking.

I hadn’t gotten far when someone grabbed my arm. I then pulled away from his grip and started glaring at him.

What? I asked, sounding angry.

He then grabbed my hands and said.

"Here you might need this"

Afterwards he just started walking away.

I opened my hands to see a handkerchief.

Did he notice? But still I couldn’t care less. I just wanted to get out of there.

I then went to the rooftop. This is the place where I always go to when I needed to get away. I stayed there until school was over, just looking at the sky.

It was peaceful…so peaceful…

Why can’t life be that simple? I asked.

I then stared at the handkerchief that Myungsoo gave me. Why would he even bother? I wondered. But still, I kept thinking about him…

and that irritating smile of his…