“Mom!”

“Dad!”

“No please don’t go away!” “I’ll be good, so please don’t!” “Please don’t go!”

Memories of life with my parents played in my head nonstop.

Then it was that moment again….

The day they died, that dreadful day. That painful car crash. It´s happening all over again!

Tears were running through my face and I couldn’t do anything. I kept running after them but it was no use… No use at all. They just disappeared right in front of me.

“Mom!” “Dad!”

“No!!!”

I woke up sweating and panting for air. It was then I realized that I was crying in my sleep. Tears kept falling and falling. It was that feeling again, the feeling of lost.

I lost my parents on this day, 4 years ago…I couldn´t help but feel lonely all over again.

When suddenly my phone rang…It was my hubby.

Baby-ah,

Good morning!

I can´t believe my body could carry you all the way home last night. :p

Still, I would do it again if I have to. Hihi

Well, I hope my baby slept well.

Does your knee still hurt? Just lay down and rest baby-ah and don´t overuse it too much I don´t like seeing you hurt.

I wub wub wub you

Your Myungie

 Though reading his message made me really happy. I couldn´t wipe out this feeling of emptiness. It was killing me. I just miss them so much.

Flashback

“My Jiyeon, my little Jiyeon, I can´t believe you got the highest score in your math test.” My mom said.

“Yes we are so very proud of our little baby.” My dad added.

“Daddy, Mommy, I want to go to the beach as a reward.” I said.

“Should we?” Dad said.

“Please, please, please” I said while giving them my puppy eyes.

“Okay fine, and stop doing those puppy eyes.”  “You know we can´t win against that.”

“Yes, beach, beach, beach!” I happily chirped.

So we were on our way to the beach. I was so happy, I loved going to the beach. It was our favorite place.

I looked outside and saw the beautiful sky.

“Mom, Dad, look outside, look outside.”

“Jiyeon-ah, your dad needs to pay attention to the road.” Mom said.

“But mom, dad, look it´s so pretty.” I said.

My daddy took his sight of the road for a sec to look at the beautiful sky and that´s when it happened.

Beep!!! Beep!!!Beep!!!

“Honey watch out!” Mom shouted.

But before my dad could do anything… We crashed.

At that moment I couldn´t feel anything. All I remember was my mother hugging me with all her might just before we crashed.

There was blood everywhere and I couldn´t move my leg. It was painful but I didn´t care.

“Mom!” “Dad!” “Please don´t leave me!”

“Please!”

My mom then lifted her hand and started to caress my cheek while my dad held my hand.

He then started coughing out more blood. I cried even louder at the sight.

“Please don´t cry.” He said.

“Jiyeon-ah please be happy”

That´s all they said. I cried and cried till I couldn´t cry no more.

End of flashback

I will never forget that day and even up to this day it still haunts me.

“Mom, Dad, I´m sorry.”

My phone has been beeping for quite some time now. I opened it to read.

Baby-ah

Is there something wrong? You´re not answering my texts or my calls.

You´re making me worried.

Your Myungie

I threw my phone on the ground. At this point I just needed to be alone. It was always on this specific day that I get all these nightmares. I just didn´t want to talk to anyone. I then buried myself in my knees.

As I sat there in the corner of my bedroom thinking about what happened. I couldn´t help but just blame myself for everything. It was all my fault.

When suddenly someone started banging at the door. I didn´t bother to see who it was, I just ignored it.

The banging only got louder and louder and suddenly

“Baby-ah what´s wrong?” “Why are you crying?”

I couldn´t mouthed up the courage to answer him. All I did was stare at him with tears in my eyes.

He then came closer towards me, the bottled up tears in my eyes then started to fall. He then hugged me like his life depended on it.

“Baby-ah please stop crying.” “Tell me what´s wrong.” He said.

“It´s all my fault!” “It´s all my fault!” “It´s all my fault!”

Those were the only words that came out of my mouth. Life became the better of me.

I was just lost…

His hugs only got tighter and tighter.

“Baby-ah please just tell me.”

 His eyes were full of worry, not knowing what to do with me in this state. I looked up at him. I then started to caress his cheek.

“Hubby-ah, I´m scared.”

“Please don´t be, I´m here and I will always be here.” He answered me while patting my back.

“Promise?” I asked

 “I promise.”

His words had calmed me down a bit but still I was sobbing.

“Baby-ah, I can´t help you if you don´t tell me what´s wrong.” “Baby-ah please.”

I waited a moment to secure all my thoughts before finally telling him about everything that happened.

When I finished telling him everything, I looked up to see him crying. He then hugged me again.

“It´s not your fault, it´s not your fault you hear me.” “It was all just an accident.” “Please don´t ever think that it is your fault cause it´s not.”   

Hearing him say those words, I couldn’t help but cry all over again.

“Just remember this, your parents loved you and I don´t think that seeing you like this will make them happy.”

“Baby-ah, they wanted you to be happy.” “So you have to show them that you can be happy.”

He then held both of arms and stared at me with a serious look. He wiped away the tears from my eyes with his thumb.

“Please don´t carry these kinds of things alone.” “I want to be there for you.” “I want to help you.” “You don´t have to go through this alone.”  “I´m here and I’m not going anywhere.” “So please smile for them, smile for me.”

As I looked at the pictures of me and my parents surrounding us, I couldn´t help but feel happy. All those happy memories I shared with them. These things I will carry with me till the end.

“Mom, Dad, I´m sorry.” “I know this side of me is not what you wanted to see.” “I love you guys.”

I then started smiling…

With that, I then cupped my hubby´s cheeks and kissed him by surprise and indeed he was surprised.

“Thank you, for coming into my life and making me happy.”

Here's an update my lovely subbies.
Do comment on what you think. ^-^
I wub wub wub you ♥