The only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.

Tiffany’s POV

I can’t stand the scene in front of me so I left the office immediately. Apparently, they didn’t seem to notice my sudden disappearance. I went to my old office and got my things and transferred them to my new office. After organizing my things, I sat on my chair and leaned back.

Why is life playing a trick on me? I tried to stay away from Jessi in the past six years and suddenly, she turns up in my life? This isn’t part of the plan. Ugh. Is she doing this on purpose?

I am not ready to face her yet. Not until I find the solution to the problem. I act like I don’t care but deep inside, it hurts. Jessi, why are you making this so hard for me? Don’t you know that you still had an effect on me? Don’t you know that I tried my best not to run into your arms when I saw you again?

I want to. I really do.

But I can’t.

If I let my feelings take full control of me, then Jessi will only get hurt. I spent years trying to prevent that from happening. But should I care? Jessi has someone else now. She doesn’t even know that I’m doing this for her own good. If I told her, will she understand? Will she love me back?

I doubt it.

But nevertheless, I’ll never stop loving her. She still has my heart though she may not be aware of it. Call me a martyr but I don’t mind. I’m doing this for her alone.

When did it all start? Well, I won’t forget that day. That day when everything changed in the way that my eyes saw things.

Flashback

It was the week before Jessi’s 18th birthday. Back then, I was already decided to break up with Yuri. I bought a cute pink bag for Jessi as a present for her upcoming birthday. I was also planning to confess to her on that day. I wasn’t afraid to be rejected. All I want to do is to express my undying love and I planned to do just that.

I was driving my way back to my house. I feel happy because for the first time, I felt sure of what I wanted to do. I was humming to the song that was playing on my car. I was very excited about my confession though I wasn’t sure if she would accept or reject me.

I parked my car and grabbed the keys to the door. As soon as I opened the door, I smelled something burning. I began to panic and tried to look for the source of smell. My search led me to the backyard when I saw my things on fire. My eyes widened in what I saw.

Those were not only things. Those are the things that connected me to Jessi. The pictures from our childhood until high school, the gifts that she gave to me, all of it are gone into ashes.

My hands are already shivering and I was already crying

Who would do such a thing?

Then I realized something. All of these things are from my room. I quickly went to my room and I saw Yuri sitting on my bed, gazing at the floor.

She must have felt my presence because she raised her head to look at me. At that moment, my knees weakened.  I felt that my world is crashing down. She looked at me with those menacing eyes I can’t seem to get out off. My body froze. I wanted to run away but I can’t feel my legs.

Yuri stood up and walked to me still looking into my eyes. The next thing I know is that she pinned me to the wall. She kissed me harshly. I tried to push her away but she was way too strong. I begged her to stop but she didn’t. Instead, she ripped my clothes and pushed me to the bed. She was hovering on top me when she stopped and whispered to my ears.

“Stay away from Jessica.”

Then she kissed me one last time before leaving me in that state. After that, I just stayed on the bed crying. I didn’t know Yuri was capable of doing such a thing. I always thought that she was nice and sweet but I was mistaken. I was still shocked from all that happened and my body didn’t move. Then I felt my eyes getting heavier until I drifted to sleep.

End of Flashback

The days after that got worse. I had to pretend to everyone that everything was fine between me and Yuri. I was afraid that she might go beyond what she did to me if I do something she didn’t like. She said she can also hurt Jessica and I believed she has enough evil inside her to do that so I complied with her rules.

I completely cut my communication with Jessica. I didn’t show up on her birthday. I rejected all her calls and I never replied to any of her messages.

In other words, I left without saying goodbye.

I just can’t bring myself to do that. I wanted her to hate me. I wanted her to be happy with someone better than me. That way, things will be much easier. If she hates me, then she will be the one to avoid me.

But why does it hurt so much?

Soon, her attempts of reaching me got lesser and lesser until she finally grew tired. Then, I figured out that she was dating someone. It hurt me more than it should because I was jealous.

I’m jealous of the fact that she was showing her love for Jessi with freedom. I was jealous because she’d been there for Jessi when I can’t I’m jealous because she’s the one that Jessi loves and not me.

I feel like my heart is being torn whenever I see Jessica with Taeyeon. But I asked for it right?

This is what I get for being a coward. This is what I get for loving too much. This is what I get for being a fool in love with someone who cannot love me back.

I deserved all these pain because I left her without saying anything.

Jessica also deserves to be happy and I’ll give her that…

Even it means I have to die in sadness and regret.

A/N: It's short... and it's lame. I don't know what's happening to me. Writer's block, maybe? Or maybe I'm losing inspiration for this fic... sigh. I think I'm just JeTi deprived. Not a lot of their moments nowadays, right?

But still... I will finish this fic! Please continue to support me! :) Next chapter will still be about Tiffany since I'm not satisfied with this one.

Comment please...