~Hana~

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The silence was unbearable. I stared t him, trying to be patient and tried to not wonder and question him but there was something that was so off with this that I just couldn't let it go

Jaejoong shifted his position and walked over to me

"I uhm..."

He quieten and I waited. And as he was about to answer me the phone rang and I got scared by the vibration that the phone was giving off. 

I walked over to the counter, only to see mom being displayed. I answered and JaeJoong returned to the groceries as I walked away to talk with mom

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~JaeJoong~

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I tried to figure out an answer, anything that would be good enough for now but nothing came to mind and not only did that disturb me but I started to wonder if I was treating Hana right. Hiding all these secrets, not giving her the right answers and not being able to be honest, Didn't that make me look like a villain? A guy who certainly didn't deserve her. .

I spun around and saw the smile on her face as she was on the phone with her mother. The grip around the bag hardened as I thought about it. The deeper the relationship grew, the more questions she will start to ask and wonder about me. And if I can't give her any of those, what will I be able to give her?

I swallowed hard as I thought about it. Going into this relationship and starting something that was almost as equal as a dream, how selfish wasn't it of me?

But I couldn't even bear myself to stop it either. 

"Mom were just checking up on me" Hana came back and smiled, seems like she forgot all about the question she had asked

"How are they doing? Did they reach the top yet?"

" Yeah almost. She just wanted to say hi before the line cuts out on them" She smiled

I nodded

The atmosphere fell silent and I had a feeling that she hadn't let it go like it felt earlier. She was still pending on the question and I was pending on what I should say. I didn't want to lie but it didn't feel like she was ready to enter this world of mine. She wouldn't understand. At least not yet..

"JaeJoong I..."

"Hana.. Listen to me"

She quieten immediately and looked at me as I looked at her

"There are questions that I can't answer you. Even the most simpliest ones. And you would probably think that I'm a drug dealer, a bady guy involved into bad things since I can't even answer you a simple question as that but .. I have.. my reasons for not telling and I feel that the time is not right. Not yet"

"So you don't have an answer to my question?" She asked confused but calm

"I have an answer but I can't answer you yet. And I am not a guy involved into some kind of underground business, selling drugs or whatsoever. What I ask of you now is time and trust"

I saw her swallowing her words, not knowing what to say. I asked too much of her, trust is to be earned, time is something that we fight against everytime when we are eager and are waiting for something.

"JaeJoong.. trust..."

"Are earned. I know that. And what I'm asking of you is a lot but there is no other way to do this at the moment. Not what I can think of at least. I need some time to figure some things out to understand myself... Us" I said and took a step closer to her

"Are you hurt?" She whispered

"Emotionally.. Yes"

"This isn't... about another girl is it?" She stuttered and I saw her blinking away tears from her eyes

I smiled at her and shook my head

"There hasn't been another girl for 3 years" 

I saw a hidden smile appear and she became embarrassed

"I'll make it up to you and I promise that the trust you are giving me are going to be earned. I just need to find that moment.. in time to reveal it"

"You make it sound so serious. You're sure you don't want to tell me now?" 

I nodded

"I'm sure.. and you being understanding towards me is more than enough at the moment.." I said and took her into my arms

She let out a sigh of relief and nodded

"You promise you will tell me when the time is right?"

I pulled away from her and the kiss I gave her was my answer to her question. 

As I pulled away her rosy cheeks blushed beautifully and I smiled at her

"I promise and it feels good to have that off my chest. How about we have some dinner since my stomach is kind of growling?"