Looking back at my life now, I realize a lot of things. 

For one, I haven't accomplished anything worth while in my eyes but then again I have. 

I've made lots of friends in my short life but was to  big of an to make an effort to keep all of them.

Some moved away while other just distanced themselves naturally as if we've never meet. 

It tares my heart inside out to see people I was once best friends with barely acknowledge me. 

I've gotten decent grade making myself proud but angry at the same time.

Comparing my grades with my friends mine .

I know if I put more effort in I could do better but I don't.

I know I should be nicer to my siblings but I can't, I feel awkward.

I shower my friends with my affection all the time, always giving them hugs and kisses.

But I can't tell my siblings a simple "I love you."

Curiosity killed the cat so why not me? 

Here I am sitting in my room cutting myself because I wonder what It feels like.

I'm terrible, some people do it to take away emotional pain but I do it because I'm curious.

I'm a to my parents always taking back and never really telling them anything.

They love me and get me what I want but what to I give them?

Nothing more than cold empty words but they know I love them right?

Even if I never say it they have to know right?

They raised me up beautifully but something corrupted me.

I don't know what is was but something went wrong and I know it.

I know my friends know it to but are to nice to say anything.

Onew always encourages me, Jonghyun always gives me complements, Taemin always asks me to teach him , and Minho always prasies me.

Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin and Minho, my current 4 friends that I love dearly.

I hope I don't become distant with them like the others because I don't know how I'll live.

I suppose I'll find a way like I always do but I don't want to have to do that again.

One more cut because the curiosity is killing me.

I look at my arms and take in all the lines I've made out of curiosity.

I always wear long sleeved t-shirts though so no one knows because they would be disgusted.I'm pretty but not beautiful.

I try hard but know I'll never be perfect there are just to many flaws to be covered up by makeup.

No one notices them but I do all the time.

I'll go to school like always tomorrow and act as I always do.

Just simple, bubbly Key.

The Key that they see hanging out with Onew, Jonghyun, Taemin and Minho.

The Key that is nothing but a farce.

So what do you guys think?

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